How To Cum Like A Horse

How To Cum Like A Horse

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I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

My name is Jeff,but you call me Jeff.
Ever since I can remember,I've lived on a farm with our horses. Horses have
always been the best friends in my life because I don't usually get to go
out much because of all the farm work.
Today,I'm going to tell you about an incredible experience I had with one
of our best horses...and my best friend at that...Swift.
We called him Swift because he was very fast and he looked amazing when he
galloped in the wind with his mane flying everywhere...he's gorgeous,has a
brown fur,and has huge blue eyes.
I was alone in the barn and had finished cleaning out all the stalls except
for Swift's. I wanted our moment together to be just right.
I took off all my clothes,folded them neatly and put them in the tack room.
My body shook as I approached the horse's stall but I managed to open the
door and shut it behind me.
As Swift had never seen me naked before,this was a little bit of a shock to
him and he came over to me immediately sniffing me with his soft nose. That
tickled,I thought to myself.
He sniffed me all over and then he let out a lick to my face with his
big,soft tongue. Ooh,did that feel good. I sat down and spread my legs. He
continued licking me with his warm big tongue and going up and down my
belly cleaning me up. I was in heaven,being naked with a horse and in
addition to that,he was giving me a tongue bath! Things went up a notch
though when Swift came to my penis and balls and gave them a lick.
I went into an erection and almost cummed right there. But I held back and
enjoyed the moment for as long as possible.The horse continued his swift
motions of licking up and down my shaft and balls coating me with his
saliva until I couldn't take it anymore and cummed! Some got all me and
Swift's face.
This seemed to give Swift some sort of message because the next thing he
did was well...let me put this way,it was hot all of a sudden. Laying down
enjoy- ing the feeling of being spent I didn't realize what was happening
until I felt this tinkle on my forehead. I looked up and all of a sudden a
shower of horse piss flowed from Swift's penis right all over my body and
into my mouth!
Not wanting to scare the poor horse,I let him have his way and opened my
mouth letting the piss poor in. The taste wasn't as horrible as I thought
it was so I swallowed as much as I could get in. As the piss continued to
flow, I found myself aroused by the smell of the piss itself and then let
it flow all over my body getting my all wet. The horse then stopped
suddenly making me sigh.
I got an idea just then and licked his giant penis up and down his shaft
like a dog. I then proceed to rubbing his balls to please him which he give
a whin- ny at. I continued my tongue massage on his shaft when I reached up
and felt under his tail. He seemed to like that so I got out from
underneath him and went behind his ass.
I then proceeded to lift up his tail and gazed at his gorgeous ass hole. It
was black and almost clean as a whistle. Not wanting to make this horse
wait, I massage his enormous ass checks and then kissing the ass hole on
this horse. The horse back up into me wanting more, so I did so continuing
to kiss and lick his asshole reaching in my tongue as far as possible and
tasting his shit which was amazingly not that bad either. With that, the
horse let out a fart and I sniffed it in sighing with content. I couldn't
hold in any longer...I had to do it with this horse!
Seemingly sensing my desire, Swift lay on the ground for me so I could mate
with him. Taking this opportunity,I lifted the tail and poked my penis at
his hole pumping in and out slowly until he let me penis all the way in.
With that, I humped and humped into the horse's shit filled ass until I
came too and spewed my seed into him. I sighed and took my horse shit
covered penis out of his ass.
I fell backward,sighing with content. I looked up and saw Swift's penis
erect again. Looks like I not done just yet!
It was a sunny day and a Saturday so I got to be alone with Swift again.
I went into the barn and opened his stall door to find him waiting for me..
his slave.
Like any good slave would do,I took my clothes off and knelt before him
offering myself to him. As if he had grown ten times smarter, he suddenly
put his hoof to my mouth knocking me backwards. He forced me to lick the
bottom of it clean which I started doing. Uhh,I said,looks like he stepped
in shit last night. I licked around the edges making sure to get all the
shit and dirt out of his hoof as possible. When I was done, he locked lips
with me and I sighed in content as we engaged in a long passionate kiss.
His big equine lips easily covered my own smaller one and he began licking
my face with his huge saliva dripping tongue coating my lips and face
really good. He licked my face as I felt the warm spongy thing slop across
my face.
He stopped suddenly and I saw that his penis was erect. I got up and
started to go over to his side but I slipped on some of his horse dung and
hit my head. Doozy, I saw him put the meancing now fully erect jet black
penis at the hole of my mouth. Wanting to sexually arouse himself,he let
loose the golden flow of piss straight into my mouth which I took the full
force of. It went down like a waterfall off a cliff and continued. The
piss was good in a erotic yet tasty way. The smell of it was intoxicating
and hard to resist though I couldn't fathom why I would ever want too.
Swift then started to force his penis down my throat slowly but surely. He
humped in and out,humping and pissing at the same time amazingly. I got all
excited and didn't want him to stop at all. Suddenly though, he stopped. I
didn't know why,but he took his penis out of my mouth and just stood there
as though he was waiting for something.
I got up and his ass was facing me. Then I got an idea of what he wanted. I
went over to his ass and lifted the tail to see that butt hole was in need
of cleaning. I got to work right away and started licking away at the brown
and yellow shit all over his hole. Mmmm,I said to myself,that's good. I
licked up and down and into the hole tasting the horse's delightful
dung. Swift's ass cheeks wiggled around as I licked in and out of his
asshole and served him like a good slave.
Swift's asshole then expanded unexpectedly and his dung came pouring out
into my mouth! I didn't try to spit it out though...I let the dung pour
into my mouth however but I soon found out it was too much for me and let
the rest of it fall onto the hey covered floor.
I chewed the brown pasty stuff and swallowed leaving a brown stain on my
tongue. I looked at the inviting asshole and then looked at my unattended
penis that was erect. I looked up and Swift wiggled his ass cheeks at
me. He then rubbed his butt against my body and I got all aroused even
more. I hugged Swift's ass and I got a stool to stand on.
I took my penis and started to hump in and out of Swift's hot and gooey
rump enjoying every moment. I humped into the ass enjoying the feeling of
being in this horse. I sighed in content and feel on the rump of this horse
laying down to rest. Little did I know what he had in store for me next...

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

This is gonna be linked to from the Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

The deepest circle of hell is reserved for people that steal other people's work.

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

I am just waiting for the "My horse was raped" board

Response to
I had sex with a horse!

Apr 23, 2007

Collect star shards and restore peace.
Softserve teh gwoteicorn is shitting his way to glory!

It’s Called the Music and Arts Festival for a Reason

Dylan Efron Takes Us On An Adventure

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I once heard the standup comedian Jim Jefferies talk about a time when he worked on an adult film set with some porn stars. The female actress asked the male actor “are you a shooter or a blobber”?, referring to his cumshot.
While everyone has their personal preference, it’s safe to say that most us men want to produce strong, healthy loads of semen . Not only does it look and feel better during sex, but it can help when trying for a baby too.
Whether it’s eating certain foods, taking supplements, or chewing vitamin C, there are many ways that you can increase your amount of sperm naturally. From supplements to testosterone boosters and drinking more water, we investigate various natural methods.
Without further ado, here is how to cum more !
It should come as no surprise that Semenax is the best cum supplement overall. I mean, it has Semen in the name. Weirdly though, the promotional videos pronounce “Semenax” really weirdly so it doesn’t sound like “semen” at all.
Containing a number of amino acids used in sperm production, as well as rockstar ingredients like Zinc Oxide and Swedish Pollen Flower, Semenax is designed to increase sperm production, lengthen your orgasms, make ejaculation feel more pleasurable, and produce strong long-term results.
Often used by men who want to increase their loads with natural vitamins, minerals and amino acids , Semenax is a staple of everyday male health supplements for many men all over the country. If you want to shoot bigger loads in no time, Semenax is the way to go!
Supposedly free from side effects according to the manufacturer, Volume Pills supplements are designed to help you shoot larger loads of ejaculate. It’s really that simple. If you’re looking for supplements that will make you feel powerful in the bedroom by shooting a lot of cum, this product might be just right for you.
We all wanna cum ropes if possible!
The manufacturers of Volume Pills claim that their supplement is 100% natural and approved by doctors, supposedly having no side effects. That seems like a bold claim (natural supplements can still have side effects) so take that with a pinch of salt and consult your physician if necessary.
Still, Volume Pills are packed with Zinc and ancient Eastern herbs thought to help produce more semen in the seminal vesicles. Taking these pills may amount to a huge boost in your ejaculate, helping you to shoot huge impressive loads that make you feel like you’ve got your mojo back, baby.
VigRX Plus is basically a multivitamin for sex – it’s taken by men every day so as to ensure their sexual health.
With various natural ingredients absorbed by the body, VigRX Plus is able to increase libido in no time, helping guys to regain interest in sex if they’ve felt their sexual desire waning as of late.
It can also give you harder erections.
This matters because all these factors need to be taken into account as they all affect your load! The hornier you are, the more strongly and intensely you tend to ejaculate, so all of these factors are at play if you want to shoot those amazing porn star loads.
This product actually contains Cuscuta Extract, which is thought to improve sperm quality and semen production. In addition to all the other ingredients designed to get you in the mood, you know that this product is probably going to get you real results.
If you’re looking for how to cum more because you’re planning a baby, then Max Performer should be a supplement that you strongly consider. Although this product is technically another “all rounder” for male sexual health, Max Performer does contain some high quality ingredients for your semen.
For example, it contains zinc, which is essential for sperm production and is often taken as pure zinc supplements for men looking to improve their load. You can also find Cordyceps in this product that helps to improve sperm count and make your load more impressive.
Oh, and let’s not forget about motility.
Maca powder is also in this product, known for its ability to improve sperm count and motility. In case you don’t know, sperm motility refers to how fast, agile, and fluid sperm cells are.
In other words, semen with low motility won’t travel far to find an egg, whereas high-motility cells will swim vigorously to find that motherfuckin’ egg if it’s the last thing they do.
If you’re trying for a baby, Max Performer might be your golden ticket to the egg!
If you’re not looking to increase your semen volume by taking supplements or changing your diet, there are some other ways that you can increase your semen volume by changing certain habits and lifestyle factors.
I know it seems like common sense, but ejaculate less frequently if you want to produce more cum when you have sex! Ideally, if you want a large cum shot, you should avoid ejaculating for 2-3 days before having sex.
Lots of people masturbate daily out of habit, often at times where they’re actually not that horny. If this is a bad habit for you, try to get out of it and listen to your body, masturbating only when you’re genuinely horny.
If you listen to your body and masturbate less often, you’ll naturally have more cum saved up when it’s time to have sex.
Exercising regularly is good for your body and your health overall, but it’s also good for ejaculation and male fertility! This is because it can raise testosterone levels, leading to better semen production.
However, getting too much exercise can be bad for your semen, but only if you’re REALLY overdoing it. If you live a sedentary lifestyle, getting more exercise will help your health and your results in the bedroom.
From more stamina to better semen quality, exercising is great prep for the bedroom!
It’s been known for several years now that smoking results in semen problems . A 2016 study found that heavy smokers had a lower sperm amount, motility, and morphology.
In a nutshell, this means that there are fewer sperm cells to begin with, they’re often deformed, and they can’t swim very far. If you’re looking for high-quality semen, smoking is only going to wreck those cells one by one.
Looking to improve your overall health and semen quality? Put down the bottle!
It’s probably no surprise that drinking a lot of alcohol is bad for you, and this extends to your semen too. In fact, one study found that men drinking 40 units per week had 33% less semen cells than men drinking just 1-5 units per week.
Water and hydration are an essential part of the male reproductive system, but alcohol dehydrates you, so it can play havoc with how runny and large your cum shots are.
Booze also shrinks your testicles, making the semen production process much more difficult. No one wants to be Johnny Small Balls.
You may have heard that humans are around 60% water.
Well, as it turns out, H2O can make you cum more too. While water doesn’t necessarily improve the amount of cells that a man ejaculates, it can help with increasing the actual volume of the fluid.
In other words, drinking a lot of water won’t improve your chances of having children, but it will help to give you bigger, runnier cum shots.
This one doesn’t have a ton of evidence behind it, but studies suggest that reducing stress is good for your overall health, including the male reproductive system.
Lowering stress levels is one of the most effective ways to reduce tension and inflammation in the body – these conditions work to reduce the efficiency of the body’s healthy functioning.
Men also tend to be less horny and aroused when they’re stressed, so this has a knock-on effect that often results in smaller cum shots and less libido in the first place.
There are many foods one can eat for increasing semen load.
All of these foods work in unique ways and use different vitamins, nutrients, and minerals to maximize how much semen you can cum.
Some of the top foods for increasing seminal fluid include the following. We’ve included the nutrients that work to maximize semen in each one:
See how many of these foods you currently eat and consider how many you need to integrate better into your diet on a day by day basis.
If your diet is poor, hopefully you can use these key food groups as a way to improve both your semen and your health!
“Should” implies that there’s an ejaculation committee keeping track of exactly how much sperm you’re releasing in a week, waiting for you to slip up as you forget to meet the weekly quota.
There is no amount you “should” release in a week.
Younger men are more likely to ejaculate more often on average, and certain countries rank higher or lower than others due to cultural differences, but there is no universally agreed upon figure.
Some studies into prostate cancer have suggested that releasing semen at least 21 times per month is an effective way to reduce your ris
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