How To Choose A Dildo

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How To Choose A Dildo
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How to Choose the Best Dildo, According to a Sexologist
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Choosing the best dildo can be an intimidating journey for some. If you ever wandered into a sex shop and saw rows and rows of veiny dick-shaped dildos, the overwhelming image of silicone penises might be what you immediately think of when you think dildo—but there’s actually a lot more variety out there. In fact, a lot of dildos aren’t even penis-shaped. Some are smooth and sleek, like a vibrator (without the vibrations), others are textured with bumps and grooves, and plenty can come curved. 
If you’re new to the different types of dildos and aren't sure what to consider when buying one, we talked to Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen to nail down the basics before you start shopping.
A large dildo might not do it for you unless you know that bigger really feels better for your body. “For starters, think about any penetration experiences that have been pleasurable—or for that matter, too much or not enough—and do your best to guesstimate the size of fingers, object, penis, or whatever it was that you know you liked or know you didn’t. Then choose accordingly,” Queen tells Glamour .
There are other important factors to decide on, such as girth (its thickness) and insertable length. “You don’t have to insert the entire toy if it isn’t comfortable to do so!” says Queen. “When using a dildo by hand, you can just hold it at the shaft near the base if you want to insert a limited part of its full length.”
Although getting (safely) creative with the best sex toys can be fun and is almost always encouraged, you’ll get the most out of your toys when you know what purpose they’re meant to serve. Dildos are meant for insertion and normally don’t vibrate—unless you get an attachment for it (there are plenty of vibrating dildos to choose from if that's your thing). Vibrators can be insertable, but their main purpose is to, well, vibrate. “There’s some overlap, obvs, but dildos are the toy for people who enjoy penetration since that is their main function,” Queen says.
It depends on how you use them. If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation , a dildo may not help with that, since it usually doesn’t provide much more clit stimulation than a penis. If you're a vulva owner and want to use your dildo while also rubbing your clit or simultaneously using a vibrator, go for it. If you have a vibrating dildo, you might be able to grind on it at an angle where you hit your G-spot and your clitoris. In the world of sex toys, anything is possible.
You can also use a dildo for anal orgasms. If you’re a cisgender woman, anal dildos can help you achieve orgasm by indirectly stimulating the A-spot in the vagina. If you’re a cisgender man, you may be able to orgasm via prostate stimulation (i.e., the P-spot). It does really depend on the shape and features of a dildo; you might need to play with the area of skin between the balls and anus too. 
All products featured on Glamour are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
After a little bit of practice and figuring out what your body prefers, yes, you can orgasm from a dildo.
Queen tells Glamour that the safest material is the kind that’s easiest to keep clean. “Silicone, glass, metal, and hard plastics are easiest to clean because they are not porous,” she explains. “Some other materials are harder to keep clean and if you choose one of those, use a condom with it.” One material to watch for is jelly rubber, which is formulated with a chemical softener called phthalates, and some consider it a toxic material . “Good Vibrations stopped carrying this material well over a decade ago, and we don’t recommend it. It’s also the most porous, generally,” Queen adds.
A good lubricant is always a good idea, but even more so with dildos. Queen tells Glamour that their material has more friction than skin does, so to make the experience more smooth and slick-feeling, pair your dildo with your go-to lube for the most optimal experience. And if you're using a silicone toy, don't use silicone lube with it; go with a water-based one like Astroglide's Toy 'n Joy Liquid .
Now that you’re a pro, here’s a guide to some of the best dildos to try for yourself.
All products featured on Glamour are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
The Rookie is a dildo that Queen recommends for beginners . Its slimmer and has a bigger tip, so those who enjoy the sensation of a penis-like head going in and out may really enjoy the shape of the Rookie. It also accommodates for vibrations (it has a cavity built in and comes with a mini bullet vibrator you can feel free to insert), so it's kind of the best of all worlds. The Rookie is also compatible with a strap-on harness.
If you trust Lelo for its top-rated vibrators , you'll love the luxury sex toy brand's dildos. This best seller is undeniably chic and comes with the trademark velvety-smooth finish that makes Lelo products stand out from the rest. This dildo is on the smaller side (five inches of insertable length) and has two ends: one flatter with a curled neck to hit the G-spot, and a straighter tip for thrusting. Between the hair-raising texture, clean look, and petite sizing, the Lelo Ella is a great option for beginners.
This product has the kind of classy, compact design Dame Products is known for, with an elegantly curved shaft and a ridged head to really target the G-spot. The strong vibrations also make it great for clitoral stimulation. For the best of both worlds, you can use it on your clit to warm up, then move it inside once you're ready for penetration.
It's glass, it's adorable, and it's wallet-friendly. Similar to a butt plug, this crystal glass dildo is mainly designed for anal play , but one Amazon reviewer says they experienced “two vaginal orgasms in 24 hours.” You can choose different shapes for the pink base, including a star, a heart, and a moon. 
It's basic, but it works. And the nice thing about metal dildos is that they're really, really hard to break. NJoy's stainless steel dildo is loved by many for its curved design that works well for either vaginal or anal penetration. Its two rounded tips come in different sizes, giving you the choice of penetration intensity.
The Paloqueth realistic dildo (made from phthalate and latex-free TPE) is a great option for folks on a budget . Its generous tip and slight curve is an optimal stimulator for the G-spot and P-spot. You can use its suction cup feature for some hands-free solo play, or use it as a throat trainer if you want. It also comes in three colors (light, pink, and black).
The Siren is another dildo Queen recommends for newbies. It's about as slim as The Rookie, but slightly shorter, which is great if you don't need or want super-deep penetration. The Siren's “come hither” curved shape is designed to hit the G-spot stimulation , and it's also not “realistic”-looking if penis-shaped dildos aren't your thing.
Doc Johnson's slim dildo is a reliable choice for beginners who are figuring out what they like. It's not too big of an investment, the shaft is pretty thin (3.5 inches in girth), and you can use it both vaginally and for anal sex. While you might eventually come to find that you like more texture, this dildo is a great way to test the waters (especially if you're in the process of anal training, i.e., safely stretching out your anus).
If you can’t tell by the name, this dildo is hefty and lifelike. It offers a pronounced ridge on its tip for G-spot and P-spot stimulation, features a flared base for easy gripping, and comes in three skin-tone shades as well as a trippy tie-dye color. Considered one of Good Vibrations' “most wanted” toys, the Outlaw is known for making customers feel really good.
This unique dildo is a strapless strap-on that is built to provide skin-on-skin contact without having to deal with constantly adjusting straps and buckles. Any person with a vulva just sits and clenches on the bulb, using their pelvic floor muscles to hold it in place while their partner rides the shaft. We'd recommend this double-ended dildo for someone with a bit more experience since this does take some practice to master. You can totally use this dildo as a solo massager, but the way it's designed incorporates partnered sex . Hey, we love options!
With its cool seahorse-like shape and entrancing multicolored high-grade borosilicate glass body, this dildo could almost pass as a decorative sculpture. The “tail” makes for an easy-to-grip handle, and the multiple curves along the shaft are great for vaginal or anal penetration or external massage. You can submerge it in cold or warm water for temperature play, and it's easy to clean in the dishwasher.
The Rippler is fairly short (5.5 inches) but is thicker than your usual dildo. This makes it the perfect dildo for those who don't need a super-deep thrust but would rather have a girthy option. The Rippler is known for its ripples (hence the name), so if you like a fair amount of texture, give this dildo a whirl. This pretty dildo comes with a mini bullet vibrator you can stick in its base for extra sensation.
This double-ended dildo is meant to be worn by a vulva owner who uses it to penetrate their partner, but this sex toy is versatile enough that you can also use it solo. It comes with a remote control so that you (or your partner) can adjust its different vibration patterns. Best of all? You can use this strapless strap-on for pegging in the shower or bath, since it's totally waterproof .
There are multitudes of ways to use this double-ended dildo: On your own, you can penetrate yourself with either side and get extra clitoral stimulation via the rabbit ears. During partnered sex, each of you can use one end: one that's more a classic dildo shape, and one that's curved upward to stimulate the G-spot. There are also tons of vibration options, with eight patterns and 12 speeds.
This shiny glass dildo is two toys in one: One side has a classic dildo shape with a curve and rounded head for extra G-spot stimulation, and the other has three bulbs and can be used for gradually increasing anal or vaginal penetration. It's easy to change the temperature of the toy by running it under warm water or putting it in the fridge.
Part DIY craft , part sex toy, a real penis is actually required in order to make (yes, make ) this dildo. Using body-safe melted silicone, you can create a cast using a penis from a consenting owner. This kit even comes with a vibrating unit, so if you prefer a replica of your go-to penis and vibrations, this toy is for you.
Described as “playful yet functional” on Good Vibrations' site, this fun-sized dildo “looks sort of like a penis dressed up for a very festive party,” according to Queen. There's texture along the shaft, and a strong suction cup base if you need it. (It can basically grab onto most hard surfaces and you can ride it for a hands-free orgasm.) If you're looking for an upgrade, Good Vibes has a full-size version of the Confetti Dildo too.
This pretty hot pink premium silicone dildo is touch-responsive, with two sensors that activate vibration when the toy makes contact with your body and intensify it with each thrust, plus a button that lets you control the 10 vibration, pulsation, and escalation functions yourself. It's waterproof, has a suction cup base, and can fit into a harness, so you can use it in many different ways alone or with a partner.
Never lose your dildo again! Just kidding—that's probably not a problem most people have experienced, but you never know, right? This is a fun dildo that's great for partnered sex : When you're having sex in the dark, the person getting penetrated can still see what's happening. Lightly textured, this toy is perfect for G-spot and P-spot stimulation.
The Amor dildo is very minimalist, smooth, and flexible. Many first-time dildo owners like this one because it's fairly small (5.3 inches long) and has a diameter of 1.4 inches. It has a soft base that feels like skin, and is ideal for both vaginal and anal penetration .
Looking for a dildo that also doubles as modern art ? The Spectral glass dildo is long (10.5 inches) and has an extra curve right under the tip to make sure it hits the G-spot. Glass dildos are obviously more delicate, so be sure to store it somewhere cool and soft so that it can't hit the floor and shatter.
To anyone who says they can't have it all, we leave you with this. It's half rabbit vibrator , half dildo, meaning you can penetrate yourself (or a partner) while also stimulating your clit with the vibrating rabbit ears. It is a lot of sensations to take in, and the vibrations come in only one setting, but many people with a vulva love the duality of this toy.
This squishy eight-inch-long, 1.5-inch-wide dildo not only has a realistic feel, thanks to its veiny, bulbous texture and dual-layered liquid silicone, but also automatically lights up in the dark with a pretty purple glow. It's waterproof and has a suction cup attached to the bottom so you can attach it to a floor or a wall for hands-free play or take it into the shower or bath.
Dual-density dildos are firm on the inside and squishy on the outside, giving them a penis-like feel. On top of being flexible while also having a shape to it, this one has realistic veins and balls, and the suction cup lets you stick it to the floor or wall for hands-free fun.
This dildo is ideal for those who want to emulate the experience of actually having sex with someone with a penis. Fill it with the “nut butter” that comes along with it, and squeeze it when you're ready for it to spurt. It can also be attached to a harness for a lifelike experience during partnered sex. 
Instead of your usual in-and-out thrusting motion, this dildo is designed to spin inside you (!). A crank arm on the outside causes the head to rotate, creating a unique sensation, and you can also remove it to use this as a standard dildo. The spinning function, as well as the steel buttons along the base and the grooves in the head, creates intense sensations that may appeal to those who enjoy BDSM play . 
This stylish pink dildo vibrator can be controlled remotely through an app, so it'll feel almost like your partner is really there, penetrating you—with the addition of 12 fun customizable vibration patterns. You can also incorporate this into BDSM play by having a dominant control the vibrations. 
If you're into crystals and ~energy~, this rose quartz dildo will let you nurture your spiritual side while you pleasure yourself. Rose quartz is said to open your heart and help you get in touch with your emotions—and even if it doesn't do that, it'll still give you something dazzling to look at. 
This dildo's flexible shaft conforms to your body's shape while also being firm enough for powerful thrusting. Its wide suction base makes it easy to mount and ride, and you can tuck it into a strap-on for partnered play.
Lie back and relax as you let this thrusting dildo do all the work for you. Different settings allow the shaft to rotate or thrust in and out of you, and little beads inside it add a fun texture. It also has a nub with rabbit ears near the base, so you can get clitoral stimulation along with penetration.
Another thrusting option, this dildo can be used on its own or inside a harness—or just fit another dildo on top of it to turn it into a thrusting dildo. (Genius.) It's super bendy, allowing it to reach just the right spots, and has six speeds, with the highest thrusting at an impressive 164 strokes a minute.
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Rachel is a clinical sexologist with a focus on LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women's Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen. LinkedIn | Website | Twitter
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