How To Best Sex

How To Best Sex
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The Editors of Men's Health
The editors of Men's Health are your personal conduit to the top experts in the world on all things important to men: health, fitness, style, sex, and more.

Jordyn Taylor
Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men's Health.

Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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We dug up the all-time best sex advice from our archives.
Even if your sex life is already satisfying, it's normal to want to make it even better. Maybe your love life has been in a rut lately, or perhaps you’re already having great sex, but you want to start having even more earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex sessions that end in toe-curling orgasms. Well, you've come to the right place, my friend.
We mined hundreds of Men's Health sex and relationships articles to find the all-time best sex tips we've ever given. These tips come from a range of doctors, therapists, and experts across the United States who specialize in sexual health, pleasure, and intimacy.
Maybe you're looking to boost your erections , strengthen your orgasms , and last longer in bed , or perhaps you're trying to amp up your skills when it comes to pleasing your partner. Maybe you're curious about exploring anal play , want to know which sex toys are best for couples , or like to learn how to bring up your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with your partner. Perhaps your sex life has grown stale, and you want to dabble in some BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) or are even considering finding a third to play with. Whatever it is, we almost certainly have advice that can help.
So without further ado, here are our 25 best expert-approved tips and techniques for having the best sex of your life. You can thank us later.
When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure. Head here for more tips on how to perfect your kissing technique .
If you want to last longer during sex, you're not alone. " Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life," Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington, told us . One way to delay ejaculation is by doing kegels. Strengthening the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor will help you control your orgasms during sex. For tips on how to do 'em—plus other ways to last longer in bed— click here .
Another way to make sex last longer? Train yourself to delay your orgasm while you're masturbating. Edging —the act of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stopping all sexual stimulation—is a common technique for avoiding premature ejaculation.
We've called the cock ring the "superfood of sex toys" because it's cheap, easy to use, and can benefit your sex life in so many ways. A snug ring that fits around the base of your penis (and sometimes your testicles, too) can strengthen your erection, boost your confidence, and make your orgasms more powerful. Opt for a vibrating option, and it could even help stimulate your partner's clitoris or booty.
All too often, we think of "sex" as being penis in vagina or anus, but frankly, that's such a limiting view of what sex is. Enter mutual masturbation , i.e. masturbating alongside your partner. Not only is is great for when you're too tired to get it on, but you also get to learn how your partner touches themselves. That way, the next time you do have partnered sex, you can touch them exactly how they like!
If you hate the way condoms make you feel during sex, you might not be wearing the right ones, according to sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman . When picking a condom, find one that fits like a glove, and look for rubbers that are ribbed or ultra-thin. Condoms are highly effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs, so it's worth finding the one that feels best for you. For recommendations on what to buy, click here .
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and rectum, and it contains tons of nerve endings. Stimulating the prostate can feel so good, some sexual health experts have dubbed it the "P-spot" or the "male G-spot." Here are our tips for finding it , plus our recommendations for the best prostate massagers on the market .
"Temperature play is a technique that uses heat or cold to stimulate the skin and provoke a sensual reaction," explains Ashley Cobb, Lovehoney 's Sex Toy Matchmaker. Heat things up in the boudoir by engaging in wax play, or rub an ice cube on your partner's body (nipples are especially sensitive!) to elicit a powerful sensory response.
These butt-centric sex toys can also help stimulate the prostate during partner sex or masturbation, as well as activate those sensitive nerve endings around the opening of the anus. Butt plugs are designed to slide in and stay put—hence the word "plug"—while anal beads can be gradually inserted or pulled out over the course of a sex session. Check out these roundups of our favorite butt plugs and anal beads .
"Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris," Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University, told Men's Health . "But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet."That's where lube comes in. Try squeezing a few drops onto the tip of your penis before you start intercourse.
We'll let you in on a little secret: lots of women love watching porn. According to a Men's Health survey, 75% of women said they were down to watch porn with a partner during foreplay or sex itself. That said, they may not be into the same type of content you're into, so be sure to discuss your tastes beforehand or scope out some softer-core fare. (Director Erika Lust's LustFilms is a great place to start.)
Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse. Not only will it build desire, but it'll help you discover what you and your partner do and don't like in bed. "On its own, sex is pretty mechanical," psychologist and relationship therapist Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., told Men's Health. "Foreplay is where you learn what you like and don’t like."
During foreplay, the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of your partner's body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns them on—and ask them to describe how it feels. This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode. Check out our tips on how not to screw up your next foreplay session .
Want to know if your partner likes to talk dirty? Say something like, "You make me think dirty thoughts." Ease in slowly. It's best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat. Here's our guide to talking dirty in bed .
Roleplay requires a huge suspension of disbelief, but if you can fully commit, the payoff can be massive. Many popular roles (boss/secretary, teacher/student, stripper/customer) play on the theme of one person being in control, while the other is at their mercy.
"These are strong dynamics, even in healthy and fun sexual relationships," Jean Mone , a New York City sex therapist previously told Men's Health . "They allow the [partners] to enact their fantasies in a way that won't leave them feeling vulnerable."
If your partner has a vulva, there's a very good chance they need clitoral stimulation in order to climax—P-in-V intercourse alone isn't gonna cut it. As for the best way to stimulate your partner's clitoris? An Indiana University survey of 1,055 women found that 3 out of 4 respondents like it when a partner traces circles on their clitoris with their fingers or tongue. But if you're not entirely sure what drives your partner wild, ask them!
The clitoris is packed with nerves and super sensitive, so your partner may not want you to touch them there directly. The clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina—like a wishbone—which means you can massage it without applying direct pressure. Try tracing the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes, or slow finger zigzags (don't forget lube). Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass. The combination of anticipation and indirect contact will bring those pleasure centers to life.
Stimulating the perineum—the area between your balls and your butt—can feel really good during masturbation or sex. "This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive," Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., co-author of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, told Men's Health . You can also ask your partner to apply pressure to the area during oral sex.
The orgasm gap is real , and it's great that you want to help your partner climax! But when you make it the singular focus of a sexual encounter—for instance, telling them you don't want to come until they do—you might end up stressing them out and decreasing the likelihood of them reaching orgasm. Instead, read up on closing the pleasure gap .
Here's something you should never ask a person with a vulva after sex: "Did you come?" By posing that question after sex, rather than during the act itself, you're implicitly telling your partner that their pleasure is an afterthought for you—and that's not okay. Instead, make their pleasure a priority during sex itself.
If you and your partner aren't as jazzed about doing it as you used to be, maybe it's time to deviate from your go-to sex positions. Try these easy ways to spice up the missionary or cowgirl positions. Or, if you're really feeling adventurous, commit to working your way through our 50 favorite sex positions of all time .
A 2018 study out of the University of Guelph suggests that couples in open relationships are as well off as those in monogamous relationships when it comes to relationship satisfaction, psychological well-being, and sexual satisfaction.
If you and your partner have been itching to have sex with someone new, you could explore having a threesome or attending a sex party together .
Dr. Justin Lehmiller , a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, interviewed over 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies for his book, Tell Me What You Want . Eighty-four percent of respondents said they'd fantasized about public sex at least once before, and 29% said they fantasized about it often. “People are turned on by the idea of doing new and different things sexually, which is why fantasies about having sex in different settings are quite common,” Lehmiller told Men's Health . “People also tend to think of sex as something that people only do in private, so taking it public is transgressive.”
Now, we don't recommend actually having sex in public—that could get you in trouble with the law. But there are plenty of ways to safely tap into the public sex fantasy , from dirty talk to virtual orgies to sex resorts .
Here's an idea for a "fantasy lottery": Both you and your partner write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles: "yes"; "maybe someday"; and "not on your life." Put the items from the first two piles in a shoe box, and once a month—or as often as you like—pull one out to try.
YouPorn's Couple's Chemistry Quiz is another great way to discover your shared kinks.
You can dabble a little with BDSM. One of you can be the dominant—i.e., the one commanding their partner what to do—while the other can be the submissive who listens to the commands.
There are many ways to explore dominant and submissive relationships, including spanking , doling out punishments , and practicing bondage .

Oh, This? Just Cosmo’s Best Sex Tips of All Time

By
Anna Breslaw , Carina Hsieh and Rachel Varina

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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

Rachel Varina
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona ) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries).

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More than 50 years of sexual wisdom coming right at you.
We don’t like to brag, but Cosmo basically invented sex tips. Following the legacy of our fearless leader, Helen Gurley Brown , (maybe you’ve heard of her?) we’ve been dropping the hottest—and, okay, yes, sometimes most out there —sex advice for literal decades. (So what we’re saying is, yes, your grandma probably read our sex tips. Sorry, moving on.)
Look, it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. And for the past, oh, 57 years or so, (but who’s counting?) we’ve dutifully doled out all the must-know info on sex and how to do it. Suffice to say, that’s a hell of a lot of sex tips. So, for your convenience, we’ve distilled all those years of sexual wisdom into 16 absolutely need-to-know, most important Cosmo sex tips—16 pillars of sex advice, if you will. No need to thank us, just doing our job.
Okay, brag moment over. But before we get into the actual tips, first a little crash course on sex itself—and no, not like the one you got in high school sex ed . Yes, we know you probably have the basics down by now, but part of what makes this *very important* job of ours so exciting is the fact that the way we define, think about and experience sex is constantly evolving. That’s true of society as a whole, but also of each of us as individual sex-having beings. As therapist and sex expert Angela Jones , PhD, puts it, sexual activity is pretty much the essence of human nature. (I mean, it’s kind of the only reason any of us are even here in the first place, if you think about it.)
“Humans are sexual beings, so to not work on your sex life and understand your sexuality is denying yourself full understanding of who you are,” she explains. Not only does knowing what you do (and don’t) like sexually help you find pleasure—whether it’s solo or with a partner—but sex itself is a form of communication and self-care.
BTW, by “sex” we are very much not talking about straight P-in-V intercourse—at least not exclusively. “Sex is not defined as penis in vagina, or penis in anus, or vulva and vulva, or oral or kinky or vanilla, or anything that has to do with specific sexual acts,” says certified sex therapist, Holly Richmond , PhD, a member of Dame’s Clinical Board . Obviously there’s no one set definition for sex, but according to Richmond, it all starts with consent and pleasure. “All sex is good sex as long as it’s consensual and pleasurable,” she says.
“Sex is anything that brings you erotic pleasure,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly , PhD, a global ambassador for WOW Tech . “This might include snuggling, kissing, sexting, video chatting, flirting, fingering, sucking, grinding, humping, or penetrating, but this list isn’t exhaustive.”
As for what makes sex—however you want to define it—good, that’s obviously something that’s determined on a pretty individual basis. “That said, there are some fundamental elements that researchers have determined make for great sex,” says Richmond. These include “presence, connection, intimacy, empathy, authenticity, vulnerability, exploration, and transcendence,” she explains. “When we look at sex through this lens, it’s about feelings, communication, trust and connection with ourselves or with a partner, and mostly, an overall sense of pleasure.”
Now that we've got the basics down, here are some of the best sex tips to ever come out of Cosmo that’ll help you on your quest for pleasure and connection. Enjoy!
Give yourself at least 45 minutes to get turned on. Seriously! Slow things down a bit and wait until you're fully turned TF on for sex that's even more mind-blowing.
Activate your senses to make sure you’re fully turned on. Candles! Lighting! Scents! Never underestimate the importance of ambiance, people.
Forgive and forget with some super-sultry makeup sex. All couples fight (it’s a part of a healthy relationship to have disagreements) but what better way to get into each other’s good graces again than with some vulnerable, tender makeup sex? If that’s not your vibe, there’s also must-have-you-now standing sex against a wall for an added layer of urgency. Either way, there’s a sexy way to move on after a fight.
Make sure you come first if you just started dating. Women often focus on their partner's orgasm and treat themselves as an afterthought. Since we're all creatures of habit, doing the reverse pays off in the long run.
Don’t be afraid to initiate. If your partner is usually the one who initiates sex , switch things up by showing them just how much they turn you on and flip the switch—everyone loves feeling like their partner just can’t resist them.
Read a steamy book before a date. You'll feel more sensual during the deed as you visualize a hot storyline.
Create a secret code that translates to sexytimes. Maybe "get me a dirty martini" means "let's blow this joint… and then each other."
Keep your sexts simple. If you're having writer's block, the hottest possible thing you can send: "I need you now."
Establish consent! Remember, “All sex, no matter what you do with yourself or a
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