How To Anal

How To Anal
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You’ve explored anal play for the first time , you’ve played with a few toys , and now you’re ready to put that P in the A. Here’s your guide to everything you need to know when trying anal for the first time.
Anal sex is pretty polarizing. A lot of people love it, and a lot of people don’t even understand the temptation to try it. No one is should be forcing you to try anal, but there are a few compelling reasons to give it a go:
If your interest isn’t slightly piqued by this point, I can’t help you. But if you’re intrigued, read on!
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
Just like with any other type of sex, you have to take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal. You can’t get pregnant, but you can transmit STIs through anal sex. In fact, transmission rates are higher for anal sex than for most other sexual activities, since anal tissues are sensitive and susceptible to microtears. Use a condom unless you’re already fluid-bonded with your partner.
The hygiene factor is one of the biggest reasons people tend to shy away from anal sex. A lot of guys are worried about poo-dick (yes, that’s the official term for it). We won’t lie to you; your penis is probably going to come into contact with traces of fecal matter. But the key word here is traces . Poop slides through the rectum and anus when you’re on the toilet, but it doesn’t hang out there the rest of the day. Here are some steps you can take to keep things as clean as possible:
In the end, you’re probably way more paranoid about the cleanliness factor than necessary. Anal sex is actually pretty clean, and it’s likely that you won’t notice anything when the deed is done and you’re pulling out of anal town.
If you’re the pitcher in this scenario, it’s usually best to let the catcher take the lead with hygiene. They’re likely just as concerned about cleanliness as you are, and you don’t want to shame them by dictating how they should take care of their body.
Most anal virgins are bound to be a little nervous at first, so give yourself plenty of time to get aroused. Do the usual things you do when you’re naked together. If you’re the receiving partner, an orgasm beforehand will help your muscles relax.
Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex. Your rectum is very tight and doesn’t create lubrication on it’s own, like a vagina does, so you need lube to help things slide in properly . Lube will also prevent painful tugging and tearing of the skin. Try a silicone lube like Pjur Original Bodyglide or a water based lube like Wicked Jelle . Put lube directly on the asshole itself, and onto the penis, strap-on, or condom. Use a lot. Even if it seems like a laughable amount, it’s necessary. Trust us.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
When it comes to penetration itself, it’s usually best to let the receiving partner be in control, at least initially. They’re the ones at risk of experiencing pain. Dictating the pace and depth of penetration will minimize pain and ease any lingering nerves. One of the best positions for first-time anal is doggystyle. It allows the receiv er to be in control of the movement, and go as slowly as possible. Plus, doggystyle helps open up that whole area back there. Side-by-side spooning (where you’re facing the same direction) is also a good beginner position, though the pitcher will have slightly more control than the catcher.
When you’re getting started, go as slow as possible. Pretend you’re actually in slow motion, and try moving at half-speed. The receiver should focus on keeping their muscles relaxed. You may feel yourself instinctively tensing up, so keep taking deep breaths and trying to release that tension. You’re putting a big thing into a small hole, so expect that there will be some discomfort (the amount will vary from person to person). Some people will experience a “hurts-so-good” type of sensation, but others might feel “bad pain” that feels sharp or stinging. If you’re unsure what kind of pain it is, err on the side of caution and ask your partner to stop and give you a moment to relax. , Don’t ever push yourself to keep going if it doesn’t feel right. Keep working your way down the shaft of the penis slowly. Don’t start thrusting in and out until you’ve achieved complete penetration, and the receiver is comfortable with moving forward.
Once you’re both feeling at ease, you can pick up the pace and start thrusting more. You want to avoid pulling all the way out and pushing back in (this can lead to pain), so try to limit thrusts to a small range of motion. Make sure to keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Now’s also the opportunity to add more stimulation to other areas of your body. If you’re a lady catcher, get some extra clitoral stimulation going at the same time with a vibrator, your hand, or your partner’s hand. Doggystyle and side-by-side are easy positions to do this. If you’re a dude catcher, you can jack yourself off or have your partner jack you off.
Before I tell you how to find the best strap-on harness for you, let’s get one thing straight: In…
When you’re both done with your anal fun, make sure that the giver pulls out as slowly as possible. Having something that girthy exiting your anus can feel a little strange, but slowing it down will make it feel much better. Don’t be concerned if the anus doesn’t immediately return to it’s usual balloon-knot state. It’s just taken a bit of a beating, and needs some time to close back up.
Wipe yourself off with tissues, then take a trip to the bathroom to clean up more thoroughly. Even if the pitcher used a condom, it’s still a good idea to wash off with soap and water. Soap will also help take care of the lube around the catcher’s anus. Make sure not to have any other sexual contact before cleaning up. In particular, putting a penis that has just been in an anus into a vagina is a one-way ticket to a vaginal infection.
Anal sex leaves one lingering present for the receiver: lube poops. Your next bowel movement is probably going to feel like it’s sliding right out of your butt. If your partner ejaculated into your anus, it will feel even slipperier (and may look a little strange too). Farts can also feel different traveling down your lubed-up butthole. Don’t fret if you find a tiny bit of blood in your stool; anal tissues are susceptible to small tears. But if you have a lot of blood, or ongoing pain, give your doctor a call.
Anal sex is unfortunately still saddled with a bad rap, but it can be immensely pleasurable for giver and receiver alike, and can be a fun new journey to embark on together. Give butt love a chance!
This article was originally published in January 2016 and updated Nov. 13, 2020 to replace outdated links and align the content with current Lifehacker style.

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Whether you're a beginner or seasoned butt enthusiast, you're going to want to read this.
So you're into butt stuff. Well, reader, you're not alone.
Maybe you're among the 43% of men who've been on the giving end of anal sex at some point in their lives, or maybe you're down to receive it ( pegging, anyone? ). Maybe you've always wanted to go in through the back door, but haven't had the chance to cross it off your sexual bucket list yet.
No matter your experience level, you might be in search of tips to make your next anal sex experience the best it can be—and who better to guide you than Dr. Zhana Vrangalova , LELO sexpert and NYU professor of human sexuality? With her help, we assembled a guide to anal sex for beginner and advanced practitioners, from the hottest positions to the best toys to add an extra boost of pleasure.
Here's how to have mind-blowing anal sex, whether it's your first or five-hundredth time.
Before you even think about approaching the back door, you need to have "the talk" with your partner. Find out if you're both on the same page about experimenting with butt stuff—and if it turns out they're not into it, do not pressure them .
You're both down to try it? Great! Now, hold your horses: The key to first-time anal sex is going slow, Vrangalova says. (That, and using a lot of lube . The anus isn't going to lubricate itself, people! )
Consider starting with some rimming , or simply pressing on the anal area. Then go in with a finger or a very small butt plug, followed by two fingers or a larger toy. Then, if the receiving partner is comfortable, you can enter with your penis.
It's hard to predict how long it'll take to get there. "There's so much individual variability in terms of how tight people are," Vrangalova says. "I've known people who've never had anything up their asses and on the first time things go up right away."
Other people's anuses may be slower to open up—in which case, you may want to adjust your penetration technique.
"People often think they need to make these small in and out movements...[but] often that doesn’t feel good to the person being penetrated," she says. "What they would instead want is to have the penis or strap-on enter a little bit and then just stay there for 10, 20, 30 seconds until the sphincter can get used to that and relax, and then push it a little more and stay."
The biggest takeaway here? Talk to your partner the whole way through about what feels good.
"It's super important to have a constant communication line open between the two people, and go with the speed that the person being penetrated [is comfortable with]," she says.
There are lots of great positions for anal sex beginners. Receiving partners often find it easiest to be on their back, on their stomach, or on all fours.
"For some people, being on top gives them more control," Vrangalova adds. "Physicaly, it might be a little more difficult to relax, but psychologically, it gives them more of a sense of control."
Well...that's too bad. "Shit happens, literally, when you play with anal," Vrangalova says. "People need to be prepared that there might be some."
That being said, as long as your partner has gone number two recently—and they're not in the midst of like, a violent diarrhea spell—you probably don't need to worry about a sudden poop explosion (or "poop-pocalypse," as Vrangalova calls it). "If you know you went to bathroom that morning, and it feels like you don't need to go, it shouldn't be a problem," she says.
If a little poop make an appearance, don't be a dick about it. Your partner might be embarrassed, so let them know it's no big deal. "Try to deal with that in as kind and compassionate way as possible," she says. "Don't say, 'Oh my god, this is gross.' Have paper towels nearby that you can use."
So you've mastered the basics of anal sex, and now you're looking to take your skills to the next level. (Remember: Get consent from your partner every time you do anal—or any sex act, for that matter. Just because they were cool with it once, they're not necessarily in the mood for it tonight.) If you're both down to ramp up your anal game, read on.
If you have always have anal with the receiving partner on their hands and knees, try switching it up. As Men's Health previously reported, one easy option is a position known as The Matterhorn , which involves the receiving partner kneeling and leaning on a stack of pillows or piece of furniture at a 45-degree angle.
"There's a whole world of possibilities out there when it comes to toys," Vrangalova says.
Here's something relatively easy to try: If the receiving partner has a vagina, they can try using a vibrator on their clitoris to make the anal sex experience even more pleasurable. (Clitoral stimulation may also help them relax—not to mention achieve an incredible orgasm.)
Here's something a little more advanced: double penetration. "Whether you have two toys for vaginal and anal [penetration], or you have a penis and a toy in either hole, it's a great way to play around," Vrangalova says.
For the super-duper advanced, there's even the possibility of double anal penetration—i.e., a penis and a toy in the anus at the same time. You can work up to it by using bigger and bigger toys, or a fist . "If you can fit a fist in there, you can prob fit an average-sized penis and an average-sized toy in the anus, more or less."
Here are some LELO toys Vrangalova recommends:
"It's good for manual manipulation," Vrangalova says. Use your hand to insert it and hold it in there, or move it in and out—whatever feels good.
If the receiving partner has a vagina, they can wear it during anal penetration. "It's easy to fit it into pretty much any position," she says.
You could "have the wand on clit and then either a penis or another toy anally," Vrangalova recommends.

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Despite there being a healthy renaissance for butt play in recent years, backdoor entry is still a deal-breaker for many women — a no-way, no-how, entirely off-limits scenario. Still, more than a third of women (36.3 percent) surveyed in a 2015 study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported having tried anal sex ; 13.2 percent reported having had it within the past 12 months.
For some women, like me, anal sex can be a mind-blowing addition to the bedroom . Until recently, I’d never had an orgasm from anal sex alone. Anal sex has always been a welcome precursor to vaginal penetration and other below-the-belt play. The most intense orgasms I’ve had — ever — have involved some combo of simultaneous vaginal penetration, clit stimulation, and ass play.
The key, for me, is to have a patient partner — one whom I trust. Oh, and plenty of lube. The anus isn’t self-lubricating, and the sphincter needs to be relaxed before you insert anything into it. For me to engage in anal sex, I need to be fully relaxed, lubed, and ready. And even then, sometimes the equipment isn’t, umm, compatible. Usually, I’d say you can never have too much of a good thing, but size can be an issue.
Anne Hodder, ACS, a multi-certified sex and relationships educator, says a successful anal experience is most often the result of communication, relaxation, preparation, lubrication, and (at least initially) gentle stimulation. “Anal is something you and your partner should discuss and plan for while sober and clothed,” she says. “Discuss expectations and concerns.”
Here are my top 25 tips on how to enjoy anal sex :
It needs to be a “hell yes.” Like anything in life, if the idea of anal sex doesn’t inspire an enthusiastic “hell yes” you probably shouldn’t do it. If someone has to convince you to do something, say no.
There needs to be a solid level of trust. For me, anal sex requires a higher level of trust than vaginal sex. I’ve rarely had painful vaginal penetration,
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