How Does Rimming Feel
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How Does Rimming Feel
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
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"Giving someone else a back massage may be rewarding, but getting a back massage is pure bliss. The same applies to this scenario."
The great thing about buttplay is that everyone can participate. No matter your gender or sexuality, everyone has a butt and is free to take part in the joys of the anus. Analingus is basically a fancy word for rim jobs, or when someone uses their tongue to stimulate the opening of the anus. Here, two guys explain what it is they love about getting rimmed.
Man A: I date women. I'm married, but we have an open relationship.
Man B: This is 2017, we are in a golden age of sexual freedom, and I’m not here to set hard boundaries on where I lay. That considered, I have only dated women at this point in my life, but if you possess a tongue the likes of Zeus' and you have a one way ticket to my love.
Man A: I discovered I liked it from my (now) wife giving it to me. It was the first time I had ever received it, and it gave me quite a bit of pleasure.
Man B: As many people are aware, Jewish youth learn about all aspects of sexuality at sleepaway summer camps across the US [Editors note: it's fair to say this probably happens at most summer camps] . When I was about 14, and just starting to do more at camp than sloppily make out in the woods by the light of the moon, my “summer girlfriend” and I were fooling around behind bunk 17 and needless to say hands started flying. In her fumbling, a finger traveled further south than I was expecting, but it was not unwelcomed. That was the catalyst that ultimately brought me here.
Man A: I do enjoy giving, and probably give more than I receive. I guess I'm more of a Santa Claus type, believing it is better to give than to receive.
Man B: As my parents like to say: give the world your love and you will be rewarded ten fold. I’m a firm believer that if you’re going to ask for a favor, you better be willing to return the favor. That being said, giving someone else a back massage may be rewarding, but getting a back massage is pure bliss. The same applies to this scenario.
Man A: I like the feeling; it gives more stimulation than almost anything except a tongue on my frenulum.
Man B: There’s a combination of the physical sensation and the idea that I’m breaking some unspoken “social rule” that gets me going. Aroused. Turned on. Whatever you want to call it. It’s a sensation more satisfying than drinking water after a chewing a piece of spearmint gum, and I encourage everyone looking for a little exploration to give it a whirl.
Man A: I really couldn't say. Teeth, I guess?
Man B: Generally speaking if the thought is there, I’ve never experienced someone do it “wrong”. That being said I have to admit, at times the bum is sore, or tired, or angry from midnight Taco Bell the night before. Then a behind becomes less ripe for the picking. Less, shall I say, primed for the passage.
Man A: I can't. Or at least, I haven't yet.
Man B: I’ve never been much for showmanship, and generally stick to the “old fashioned” techniques, but I will say that a rear tongue lashing speeds up the process like a little blue pill at the Boca Raton retirement home.
Man A: Well, I do love being penetrated, and my wife and I have a strap-on that she uses. We haven't used the strap-on while she licked me, but we do have a few toys that I suppose we could use.
Man B: I’ve always been a fan of the phrase 'out with the old old and in with the new' and that definitely applies to my hole life. That being said, I’m a sensitive guy and there is such a thing as too much of a good thing if you catch where I’m coming from.
Man A: I haven't, actually. My wife and I do it, but that's not something I do with outside partners.
Man B: It completely depends on who it is. Some people, while great to be around, are a little more reserved when it comes to discussing things sexually, and so bringing up the topic has to happen later, or not at all in some cases. Other times when you click really well with a person nothing is off limits, at least to bring up. Feel them out before they do the same to you.
Man A: The only reaction I've had is that she loves giving me something that gives me that much pleasure. That's a mutual feeling, as it should be.
Man B: The worst would probably be a reaction of disgust, but that’s just a quicker way to find out that the person may not be the right fit for me — what’s the value in having the wrong key for your lock? Not to say that’s the only thing I look for, but it’s definitely taken strongly into consideration.
Man A: Showers are your best friend. I've heard of people who don't mind a little, um, matter, but none for me, thank you very much.
Man B: You should probably have a discussion before-hand. Obviously there can be a good deal of excitement to be had in surprising him, but if you do, just be warned that you could be in for any number of surprises of your own.
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Welcome to the wonderful world of analingus.
Anal play is all the rage at the moment. Everyone is talking about butt stuff —and no, we're not just referring to anal sex . With people trying everything from anal toys to pegging , there are no limits in this game, friend.
For those curious about expanding their anal repertoire, might we suggest the rim job? Rimming—also known as analingus, tossing salad, ass eating, peach munching, eating the booty like groceries, etc.—is when you use your tongue and lips to stimulate your partner’s anus. The move "is referred to as 'rimming' because often, the rim or outer edges of the anus [are] the focus area[s]," says Dr. Kristie Overstreet , a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist. "This doesn't mean that only the rim is stimulated."
Rimming can involve penetration of the tongue into the anus, circling around it, or licking or kissing all the around the rest of the butt. “This region of your butt is a highly erogenous zone with a plethora of nerve endings,” explains Dr. Evan Golstein , founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and The Future Method . This is why rimming feels good, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. "The sensations are indescribable,” he says, "though most people compare it to having their most sensitive and ticklish areas kissed or licked.”
Although rimming has traditionally been thought of as a fringe sex act, it's been on the rise recently, with shows like Girls and Nicki Minaj's " Anaconda " bringing it into the mainstream. In fact, according to a 2008 study of American men, 24% said they had performed analingus on their partners, while 15% said that a partner had performed it on them. More recently, a 2012 Esquire poll of 500 men found that 12% secretly wished they were getting more anilingus. Alas, it's tough to find more recent data. Most studies have focused on how common anal sex is, but not rimming, specifically.
It's possible. Hepatitis A, herpes, HPV, syphilis, and gonorrhea can be transmitted through a rim job, Goldstein says. Hepatitis A is directly spread through feces, whereas syphilis , HPV (genital warts), and herpes are spread through skin-to-skin contact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). While herpes is usually located in the mouth or genitals, you can also get it on your lower back and buttocks—known as sacral herpes . Oral gonorrhea can be spread by rimming, too.
There are a couple of things you can do to decrease the likelihood of STI transmission during rimming. First, keep an eye out for cuts or abrasions on the tongue, lips, gums, or rectum. These cuts can become entry points for infection and transmission, the CDC notes.
Second, there's the option of using a dental dam, Goldstein says. Dental dams are thin, latex or polyurethane sheets used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex. They’re not as easy to find at local corner stores as condoms, but you can pick them up from Planned Parenthood or purchase them online .
“You can get bacterial infections like e.coli and salmonella from rimming,” Goldstein says. “Giardia, a microscopic parasite that is passed through feces, and other parasites can also be transmitted through rimming.”
Luckily, this is pretty easily preventable. The key is washing around your anus with soap and water. But make sure to use antibacterial soap! Also: “Avoid rimming if you or your partner has been sick or is experiencing symptoms of a possible stomach bug,” Goldstein says. That’s because “bad” bacteria usually comes from contaminated food, and most people experience diarrhea or stomach pain after ingestion. So if your partner's stomach is upset, they’re more likely to transmit bad bacteria to you through rimming.
Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to douche or enema to prep for rimming. “Doing an enema is typically for play that goes a bit deeper," says Alicia Sinclair, a clinical sexologist and CEO of the sex toy company b-Vibe . When you rim, you don’t penetrate the anus. You’re licking the external anus, for the most part. (Perhaps you can get a half-inch inside the anus with your tongue, but that’s really it.) So an enema is not necessary the way it is if you’re being penetrated with a penis or dildo.
Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: before you put your tongue or mouth on anyone’s butt, you have to ask for your partner's consent. Make sure both you and your partner are down to give this a try. “Being able to trust your partner and talk about what does or does not feel good makes a big difference in the experience,” Overstreet says.
If you go down south without asking your partner if it's OK beforehand, that won’t be fun for anyone. It could even be traumatizing for them. “Shock or discomfort also makes the anal muscles tense up, which means less pleasure for all parties involved,” Sinclair warns.
Once your partner has given you the OK (or you've given your partner the OK), you can simply incorporate it into your regular sex session. “If you are the receiver, you can ask your partner while they are giving you oral sex [or a hand job] to back up and stimulate the anal area,” suggests Overstreet.
Sinclair suggests stimulating your own anus to get used to the sensation beforehand. It’s important to figure out what might feel good for you. You can do this using your fingers or with a small butt toy. Be sure to use lots of lube .
You might be wondering: OK, so how do I actually lick this butt now that I’m down here? Start by trying to put your partner at ease, says Sinclair. "Massage around the bum a bit, slowly making your way in towards the anus with gentle movements,” she says. This will help them relax.
Sinclair says one of the best analingus techniques is to “swirl the tip of your tongue in a circle around the opening,” she says. “You can [also] flick the tip of your tongue up and down just over the opening.” Another tip? Try softening the tongue and licking up and down the entire anus, “sort as if you were eating an ice cream cone.”
Again, communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and always listen to your partner’s body. “When the receiver gets more aroused, or when you find a move that really works for them, you might notice that the anus relaxes and expands a little bit," says Overstreet. This is a good sign. It means the body is responding positively to the pleasure.
If you're receiving, offer feedback about what feels good to you. Overstreet says to breathe into your body, focus on the pleasure, and try to relax as much as possible.
If you find you enjoy it, go forth and experiment! Try rimming on your back, or maybe give facesitting a try. Don’t be afraid to venture into new territory. Sex is fun and we should all get a little creative every once in a while. Otherwise, what’s the point?
By
Madison Moore ,
September 26th 2012
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If you’re not getting rimmed, your sex life is kind of incomplete. Getting your tail licked is an awesome feeling, much better than getting a mani/pedi. It’s a feeling that might make you a little squeamish at first, but once you loosen up and hand over that pink flower, there’s just nooo going back.
I’d never heard about rim jobs until well into my adult sex life. The first time a boyfriend asked if he could “lick” me I thought it was so WEIRD. I was only 22 and living in France, so I automatically thought licking butts was just some kind of kinky thing French guys did. The point of studying abroad is to have close contact with people in your host country, soo if I let him go down on me and I’m supposed to be over here learning French customs, it’s kind of a cultural exchange.
Up until then my sex life consisted mostly of BJs and HJs. But that’s the thing about being a gay male: it seems like you have more freedom to discover the anus as a secret pleasure tunnel .
The second the French guy put his tongue on my anus it felt slippery and warm and pokey and wrong. Actually, it didn’t feel like anything, so I wondered if something was wrong with me, like maybe I was missing some nerve endings down there. A few more minutes into it, though, I had a sexual blackout. My face was buried deep in the pillow and I remember praising the lord and clenching the sheets, which of course only made him go at it even more. When it was over I was like, “WAIT WHY DID YOU STOP??!!”
Even though the butt holds plenty of G-Spot fun for everybody, there’s such stigma around the backside as a no-go zone that the mere thought of licking somebody else’s hole is an instant turn off for some. Heaven forbid you’re the one in the relationship who loves getting rimmed, or who loves giving rim jobs, and you’ve never come out about your oral fixations. Now you have to deal with the fear of rejection and embarrassment. You want to lick my WHAT? I mean, why would you lick an ass ? We already know what to do with P’s and V’s because they go where they’re supposed to go. But butts are taboo, off-limits, and that’s what make rim jobs so exciting. Dogs say “hello” by sniffing each other’s butts, so why shouldn’t we?
Rim jobs aren’t just a gay thing. Gay guys are rimming each other, sure, but girlfriends are rimming girlfriends, boyfriends are rimming girlfriends, and girlfriends are rimming boyfriends. Raise those asses up high, people! The fun part of human sexuality is discovering new things as we get older and gain more experience. Otherwise, it’s just the same old in-and-out-in-and-out for the rest of our lives — and wouldn’t that be boring?
Curious about doing a rim job on somebody? I have two key words for you: Wash it! Wash it! Wash it! The fear of a poopy backside has a lot to do with why people hesitate to take their sex lives all the way there. But see, all you have to do is hop in the shower and scrub that pink clean, maybe with some artisanal shower gel that has a hint Jojoba oil if you feel the need to add a classy touch.
If there’s one thing about getting rimmed it’s that people who give rim jobs LOVE giving rim jobs, as it goes with kinky sexual fetishes, which always makes for a very exciting experience. There’s no such thing as lackluster booty eating! When you rim you’re making a commitment . As one of my friends put it, “As long as I have a face, you have a seat.” He can be reached at 555-ANUS.
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