How Do You Take Nudes
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How Do You Take Nudes
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Tina Horn produces and hosts the kinky slut podcast Why Are People Into That?! . She is the author of two nonfiction books, Love Not Given Lightly and Sexting . Her writing has appeared on Jezebel, Hazlitt, Glamour, Vice, The Toast, The Rumpus, The Slutist, Refinery29, and The Establishment, as well as... Read more
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Taking nude selfies is an act of erotic expression, and sharing them with a trustworthy partner can deepen your intimacy (plus make for tantalizing foreplay). Sadly, the joys of this pastime are often eclipsed by anxiety over photos being stolen or shared without consent . Considering the pervasive mixed messages about our bodies and sexuality, it’s no wonder that sexting has become such a fraught topic.
Ever since writing an advice book about sexting , I’ve been fascinated by the politics of this most modern of subjects. Taking a naked picture of yourself and sharing it is part of consensual adult sex; distributing such pictures without the subject’s consent or looking at them without their permission is abuse. As long as everyone involved enthusiastically consents at every step of the way, taking and sharing nude photos is one of the hottest things you can do. Read on for my expert tips at getting even more sext-ual pleasure out of nudes.
Just as I’ll always advise you to prioritize your solo sex life ( masturbation is part of healthy sexuality), a solo sext life is the key to great nudes. Take some time alone to find the angles that make you feel and look incredible. When you’re taking pictures with no immediate plans to share them, there’s less pressure to get it right the first (or hundredth) time. You’ll alleviate your nerves and your sense of silliness. You can also moderate some of the intensity of sharing pictures with a partner (or potential partner) by first sending them to friends (or " frexting "). Encourage one another's beauty and confidence.
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Use your computer, use a digital camera, use your phone. Play around with different angles: Shooting from above tends to make you look more like a model in a photoshoot, while shooting from below can reveal overlooked erotic shapes in your anatomy. You can hold the camera out, snapping with the touch screen or the side button, depending on the device. You can use the timer, propping it against a stack of books or on an affordable tripod, placing it on the bed and hovering over it, or putting a selfie stick to much better use than any tourist.
Get creative with the mirrors at your place, standing, twisting, and bending. Sometimes a selfie in a mirror across the room adds a certain mystery. Take a picture with a Polaroid and snap a digital photo of that for analog intrigue. If you can take advantage of natural light from a window, do it. Remember to face your light source to avoid backlit photos. If you’re traveling, experiment with the unusual setting of a hotel room. If you’re in a public restroom or changing room, you can pull your skirt up or your shirt down to capture your semi-exhibitionist side (while still safely behind closed doors).
Remember: If your partner simply wants to see any ol' naked body, it’s a quick click away. Your partner wants an intimate picture of you because they know how special you are, and because they want to feel special when you send them. If you enjoy playing with filters and retouching, think of using these as crafting a work of art rather than covering up your “flaws.” But keep in mind that your partner probably wants more than anything to experience the raw immediacy of your body, exactly as it appears in the image.
A few quick tactics can help you avoid the potentially embarrassing situation of people stumbling on your nudes. Password-protect your phone, and don’t leave it lying around at work. Turn previews off on your phone so that the content of notifications doesn't pop up on your lock screen. Tell your sexting partner you expect them to do the same , or no boobs for them.
Establish a code to signal it’s safe to be hard-core with the sexts you're sending — for example, you could use a particular emoji (by now we’re all familiar with the classic eggplant or peach, but I’m partial to the pig to indicate I’m in a dirty mood) or code phrases like, “Is it hot in the office right now?” or “Honey, it’s a little chilly in here at the moment, let’s chat later.” Ask for permission to begin a sexting conversation by setting a scene: Your partner will know exactly what you mean when you ask, “I just got out of a really hot bath and I’m feeling so relaxed right now: wanna see?” or say, “I just masturbated. I’m so wet and swollen, and I want to show it off to you.” Have fun with your security! Sharing secrets can add the super hot thrill of sneaking around to your conversations while simultaneously helping you two establish consent.
Think about the message you’re communicating with your sext. Do you want to instantly arouse your partner? Bridge the distance between you? Encourage them to get in a car and come over right the fuck now ? People love to be slowly seduced. Create some luscious cleavage, but don’t show your nipple. Place your hand on your pubic mound just under your belly button. Take a selfie with your bedroom eyes dominating the foreground and a mere hint of your scantily clad body out of focus. Take a picture of your favorite sex toy right after you’ve used it. Accompany the image with the text, “You don’t get to see any more until you come over tonight."
On the other hand, sometimes an extreme close-up of your nipples, your ass, your clit, your vulva, your tongue, or any other part of you can be the perfect gift for a worthy recipient. It’s anonymous, and the wonder of your body will have a visceral effect on your partner.
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One of the best things about the 21st century is that we don’t have to accept homogenous notions of what is sexy, and you can curate many of the images that pass through your life. I love following plus-size porn stars , lingerie models , and fashionistas on social media. Not only does their positive messaging make me feel great about my body, but they’ve taught me how to make my belly look like something you wanna cuddle, my thighs look like something you wanna take a bite out of, and my ass look like a birthday cake you wanna plant your face in. Fill your feeds with images that make you feel sexy and powerful (and don't hesitate to try the poses you see yourself).
When I was a young fetish model, photographers used to tell me to look at the camera like I wanted to fuck it. (There’s a reason that "POV" [point of view] is one of the most popular porn genres: Intense eye contact has the powerful effect of bringing a subject and watcher together across space and time.)
This advice echoes in my mind every time I take sexy pictures to make my partner’s boring day at the office a little more exciting. I climb into bed, put on my "sexy photoshoot" playlist (it's got everything from Grace Jones to St. Vincent), and writhe around like my iPhone has just cast a love spell on me. I hold the phone above my head like I’m being mounted or peer down at it as it lays on the sheets. Then I lie on my side and give my phone my best pillow-talk gaze. Basically, I get into the positions I like to bone in, place the camera where I want my partner to be, and click.
This is also a great chance to do lots of deep breathing and notice the effect it has on both me and the pictures I’m taking. I make noises, squealing, moaning, and grunting. I make myself laugh until I’m giddy. I experiment with dramatic fashion-model moves that usually feel ridiculous but create dynamic images, like tossing my hair back and forth or clutching the juicy parts of myself. All the while, my focus is on looking through my phone and to the person on the other side.
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You have the freedom to take nude pictures, to send them to someone who respectfully requests to see them (or happily accepts your offer to send them), and to accept someone’s freely given pictures. Think of your nudes in terms of security, not morality. Stay mindful of how your pictures are backed up; even if it feels like you're playing Whac-A-Mole, make sure your Dropbox or Flickr isn’t replicating everything your camera sees.
Consider using a platform like Signal or Whatsapp, which provide what’s known as “end-to-end” encryption , meaning only the two people in a conversation can read the messages they share. If you’re sharing on your laptop, you can always store your pictures in an encrypted folder. Frustrating as it is to admit, though, there are loopholes to all of these safeguards. Screenshots are hard to outsmart, and if someone is determined to steal your image, they can always take a picture with a different device than the one they're viewing your photo on. Keep in mind that when you sext, you’re making a risk-aware choice to show off your sexuality, and you should be aware of your rights and options if your privacy is violated.
For better or worse, we all have an influence on our sex-tech culture. If you want to live in a world where you won’t lose your job for taking private photos and sharing them with consenting adults (sadly, this has happened time and again), then create the sext-positive world you want to live in. Push back against statements such as “If you don’t want your nudes shared, then you shouldn’t have taken them .” Advocate for laws that protect sexual freedom and prosecute revenge porn . If there are young people in your life, talk to them about the differences between erotic expression and violation.
Unfortunately, it's often women who bear the brunt of the consequences of revenge porn — but it's not the responsibility of women to protect ourselves from the weaponization of our nudes any more than it’s on us to not “ask for it” with our outfits. Let's expect others to be trustworthy and respectful and hold them accountable when they’re not. In the meantime, don't lose sight of the pleasures of taking nudes and sharing them with the lucky recipients of your choice.
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2. The coy, “I’m just lying in bed” pose:
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3. The semi-erotic, closed-eye pose:
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4. The artsy, “admire the curves of my body” standing pose:
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5. The equally artsy, “admire the curves of my body” lying down pose:
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6. The “oh don’t mind me touching my lip” pose:
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7. The elbows up, arched back pose:
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9. The “about to rip my clothes off” pose:
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10. The zoomed-out butt appreciation pose:
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11. The very zoomed-in butt appreciation pose:
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At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable .
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In many areas, I crave consistency. I like when the subway comes on time and how my hair will be reliably perfect on the third day since my last wash . But one area where I’m disappointingly consistent is in my abysmal failure to take a sexy selfie . Whether I’m standing in front of my bathroom mirror, lying on my bed, or sneaking a quick nip shot in a bathroom stall at a bar, it never goes well.
Sometimes the lighting is dim or the camera lens on my phone is dirty. Other times, I can't convince my face and body to do something sexy at the same time. The result is always a weirdly cropped, uncomfortable-looking photo that I'd rather delete than send to anyone else. And that sort of defeats the purpose of a nude selfie—at least, the ones I'm taking.
Instead of continuing to suffer from my chronic inability to take a hot nude, I turned to the experts: three New York City-area boudoir photographers who set, light, and shoot sexy photos as their actual jobs. Then I did an IRL boudoir shoot with one of them. Emerging from this session a bit wiser and with a much more convincing sultry bottom lip bite, I took everything I learned and applied it to my DIY “nudes” (which, for the purposes of this article, are not nude at all). Here’s literally everything I learned about how to take sexier nudes.
Disclaimer: There are, of course, no official “rules.”
I chatted with Irina Mednik of French Kiss Boudoir Photography , Elizabeth Beskin of 5th Avenue Digital , and Evgenia Ribinik of Evgenia Ribinik Boudoir Photography to get the lowdown on boudoir photography.
For the record, there’s an obvious difference between boudoir photos and nude selfies; one is the product of high-quality equipment and a professional photographer ’s keen eye, and the other is a product of, well, a naked bod and a cell phone. Still, the photographers gave me a lot of advice I didn’t know I needed, and I got something of a crash course in the art of nude photography.
Their first lesson: Mood matters, as much as any pose or facial expression. This shocked me. I’ve always been one to run to the nearest mirror and snap a quick pic—throwing caution, mental preparation, and lighting concerns to the metaphorical wind. No longer. According to my boudoir gurus, I should put some serious thought into wardrobe, lighting, scenery, and ~setting the mood~.
Their second lesson: When it comes to poses and facial expressions, less is more. I have a hard time getting my face to behave when I’m posing for pictures—nude or not—but all three photographers encouraged me to chill . The same goes for posing. Beskin told me that some of the most beautiful boudoir shots are those that capture natural, imperfect moments—because they capture the kind of authentic intimacy you share with your partner on a regular basis.
Something all three photographers mentioned was that a lot of the “magic” of a boudoir session happens on-set—in the communication between photographer and model. I’m the kind of person who learns by doing, so I thought I’d give the whole boudoir thing a shot and (hopefully) walk away with a few observations I could apply to my own nudes.
Full disclosure: Ribinik provided me with the session and the photos for free as part of this story—which I’m immensely grateful for. Normally, a boudoir shoot with a professional can run you around $900.
To prepare for my professional photoshoot, I made a moodboard—something Mednik had suggested in our interview.
Laugh away, but the moodboard helped me figure out what I wanted my nudes to look like. It also helped me find photo inspiration, see what poses I liked, and compile lingerie I was into.
For the record, I would've happily included an image of my moodboard (it's mostly butt photos, because apparently I'm a huge fan of derrieres), but photo rights issues prevent me from doing so. So you'll just have to imagine all the sexy boudoir butt pics that inspired my shoot.
Clothed nude photos?! An oxymoron of the highest order! But all three photographers assured me clothed—or like, partially clothed—photos were standard in boudoir. Since going full birthday suit can be a little awkward, they recommended I start with a more covered-up look (say, my partner's button-down or a cozy sweater over my favorite bra) and gradually strip down to my skivvies.
Beskin even suggested I select my outfits ahead of t
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