How Do You Know If Youve Had An Orgasm
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How Do You Know If Youve Had An Orgasm
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Like most women, around 10-15% , if you’ve never experienced an orgasm before and are wondering what just happened, then, this article is mainly for you. It can be slightly challenging to identify whether or not you had an orgasm, especially if you’ve never had one. Therefore, written below are answers to some common questions that you may have about getting orgasm as a woman.
Simply put, an orgasm is an enhanced pleasurable sexual arousal/stimulation that results in physical and psychological changes in the body. However, the goal of sex may not always be to have an orgasm; instead, it can just be about pleasure!
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Also, it’s important that we address the elephant in the room— pleasure and orgasm aren’t the same. Just because sex gives you pleasure, doesn’t mean that it will give you orgasm too. However, if you get orgasm(s), then definitely you are deriving immense pleasure too.
So, let’s read on to find out how to know if a girl had an orgasm , and also, w oman climax signs and symptoms .
For someone with a clitoris, medically speaking, an orgasm may or may not always be like “fireworks” as commonly described. It could simply be a subtle increase in tension, after which there is a sudden release. A reaction during sex that results in a relaxed feeling qualifies as an orgasm. Nevertheless, here are a few signs to look out for:
Usually, after an orgasm, you tend to release a range of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. As a result, you feel truckloads of happiness, emotional releases, a sense of euphoria, empathy, closeness to your partner, peace and satisfaction.
YES , it is absolutely okay if you don’t have a dramatic or loud reaction during an orgasm! Different individuals have different reactions to an orgasm. While some may squeal, yell, scream, a few may cry or even laugh, others may not have a very noisy reaction. There is no right or wrong way to get an orgasm! The reactions shown in books, movies, songs etc, are highly generalised and are choreographed. However, that is not always the case. Always remember, fantasy, reel and real are all different and it’s important that you rely on facts and understand your body better to know if you had an orgasm.
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Biologically, an orgasm can be encouraged by multisensory simulations, stimulations such as genital stimulation, including skin, breasts, mental stimulants. Here’s a fun fact we bet you didn't know: orgasms happen in our brains, not our genitals! Yes, you heard that right. Our skin is our most significant sexual organ, while our brain is the most crucial one. With that being said, the following are some ways to encourage/achieve orgasm faster:
Directly ask your partner, or look out for signals such as heavy breathing, curling of fingers, and any involuntary muscle contractions.
It is important to note that climaxing can be uncomfortable or painful for the first few times. However, that’s normal. Furthermore, orgasms feel different for different people. It can feel different for the same person at various times. Research suggests that people with vulvas can experience a total of 14 different types of orgasms! And, women can experience orgasm(s) up to 20 times in a row. Unbelievable, isn’t it? To end with, keep it ” No shame attached” while communicating with your partner to have a good time!
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It’s not always as explosive as movies make it seem.
While sex is one of those things we all love to talk about, it’s a completely different experience for everyone. Some people prefer oral sex , some people lean toward anal , some people like no sex , and some people like all sex .
Regardless of whatever kind of sex you’re having (or not having), one of the main goals for pretty much everyone: experiencing an orgasm . In fact, having an orgasm is usually the determining factor of whether or not the sex was “good.”
But because every body is different and people experience pleasure differently, it can be hard to know when you are or aren’t actually having an orgasm. And that’s why we’re breaking down what an orgasm is, how to have one , and how to have a better one so you can stop googling and start getting off.
But just so we’re clear, orgasms are not the be-all and end-all, folks. Sure, it’s great if you have one, but it’s also great if whatever you’re experiencing just feels really, really good. There are tons of reasons to have sex—and not all involve orgasms.
Medically speaking, an orgasm is defined as the changes in the body when there’s intense pleasure that causes an increase in pulse rate and blood pressure, explains ob-gyn Jessica Shepherd , MD. Orgasms can also cause spasms of the pelvic muscles that cause contractions in the vagina and contractions of the urethra in penises, she adds.
Gender aside, an orgasm is biologically caused by the same thing for everyone: stimulation. For some people, that’s genital stimulation. For others, it’s breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.
However you get there, one of the most desirable parts of orgasm is the ~ feel-good ~ chemicals that are released. Dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body after climax making you feel relaxed, peaceful, satisfied, and bonded to your partner(s).
“Part of what makes orgasms so glorious is the fact that no two are the same,” says Astroglide resident sexologist Jess O’Reilly , PhD. “Even a universal definition for orgasm cannot be agreed upon, as our subjective experiences do not always align with scientific conclusions.”
While the science is still evolving, the pros do know a thing or two. First of all, according to a 2017 study , only 18 percent of people with vaginas are able to orgasm from intercourse alone. In fact, Lelo sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate Laurie Mintz , PhD, notes “the overwhelming majority” of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.
Even those who are orgasming during penetration (whether vaginally or via the anus) usually have the clitoris to thank. “ The clitoris is a vast internal organ, not just the ‘nub’ you see on the outside,” explains Mintz. “Most scientists will tell you all orgasms involve the clitoris, no matter where the stimulation that results in orgasm occurs.”
It is also important to note that some people simply can’t orgasm . (And yes, this is completely normal.) That doesn’t mean you don’t get the benefits of sex though. “Several studies show that orgasm is not necessary to have a deeply pleasurable and fulfilling sex life,” says family, marriage, and sex therapist Rachel Smith. “Often, it’s just the icing on the cake.”
When you think of an orgasm, you’re probably picturing your hips bucking to the sky. And while that’s one (very fun type), there are actually multiple different types of orgasms someone can have.
“This may come as a surprise to many people, but orgasms actually happen in our brain, not in our genitals,” says Smith. “Our skin is our largest sexual organ, while our brain is the most important one.”
While Mintz explains scientists are still debating whether there are different types of genital orgasms (think clitoral , A-spot , G-spot , etc.), they do know there are other ways to come that don’t involve touching anything below the belt:
A major win for people with vagina owners: The limit does not exist when it comes to the number of possible orgasms per sesh. “Women having up to 100 has been documented. However the general range is about two to five,” says Mintz.
Still, plenty of people are perfectly content with just the one orgasm, and “putting pressure on oneself to have multiple orgasms (or anything else) is detrimental since pressure and sex do not mix well,” explains Mintz. “Goal-oriented sex (i.e., the goal to orgasm, the goal to have more than one orgasm) is most likely going to result in the opposite (no orgasm).”
If you want to try to go for more than one, Smith says it’s important to take things slow and switch it up. It usually happens “when partners take their time to not rush a sexual experience and incorporate different types of sexual stimulation with a special focus on clitoral play.”
Dr. Shepherd explains that thanks to the neurochemicals released during orgasm, an orgasm can feel like a sensual trance and create a state of sexual ecstasy that you can feel both physically and psychologically. Simply put, an orgasm is “the heightened sexual excitement and gratification sensed and then followed by relaxation,” she adds.
There are some physical signals that can clue you in if you’re on your way too. When you’re aroused, your heart beats faster, your breathing quickens, your nipples become erect, and your genitals become engorged with blood. As arousal climbs, these sensations increase until you orgasm.
While the physical process is generally similar for most people, the actual orgasmic experience varies, which is why it’s actually possible to have an orgasm and not realize that you’ve had one.
Granted, this usually happens if your expectations come from porn or media, which tends to depict orgasms more one-dimensionally like screaming, squealing, and convulsing. But in real life orgasms vary, and they’re not all going to be earth-shattering.
“Sometimes, it can feel like you have to be ripped off the walls, other times it may just be a little blip on the radar,” explains Smith. If you’re unsure, ob-gyn Amy Roskin, chief medical officer of The Pill Club , suggests looking for “muscle contractions or spasms, heavy breathing, and a flushed face” to start.
You might also want to take inventory of how you’re feeling. Relaxed? Accomplished? Super close with your partner? Those are all signs that your body released those feel-good chemicals post-climax.
That said, if you’re taking note of all the signs—and you have your expectations in check—and you’re still unsure, chances are you’re not reaching your peak, says Mintz.
If you suspect that you aren’t climaxing, you might be able to learn to by becoming familiar with your body and how it reacts to sexual stimulation. All the experts agree that some solo play is a great place to start. Try out a few masturbation techniques to see what feels good by varying up your touch and intensity.
It also helps to focus on what you’re feeling in the moment rather than worrying about achieving the goal of orgasm. As sex therapist Vanessa Marin has pointed out , “Deep breathing is a fantastic way to let go of distracting thoughts.”
Once you’ve mastered your own domain, you’ll be better able to let your partner know what turns you on. If you want to try to orgasm via penetration, O’Reilly suggests giving the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) a try as it “allows you to simultaneously squeeze the shaft of the penis [or toy] between your thighs, grind your clitoris against the pelvis bone, and enjoy the snug fit of penetration.”
If you’re able to orgasm but you want to turn things up, don't be afraid to bring toys into the mix, Mintz suggests experimenting beyond clitoral vibrators once you have the hang of them. “Try rabbit vibrators , such as Lelo’s SORAYA Wave . It may be that your orgasm will be more intense by combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation,” she says.
Looking for toys that fit you and your body can even be its own sexy form of foreplay whether you do it solo or with a partner, so don’t be afraid to get them into the mix and going on a little shopping spree.
Regardless, it’s important to remember not everyone can achieve orgasm , either with a partner or ever, and that’s absolutely normal . Open communication with your partner and talking with a sex therapist can help—but the fun of sex is in the exploration, which encompasses so much more than an orgasm. So let go and enjoy, no matter what the climax looks like.
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How to know when you are actually having an orgasm TNN | Last updated on -Apr 18, 2021, 11:14 IST Share
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An orgasm is an intensely pleasurable physical response when your body releases the built-up sexual stimulation. While there is no rulebook (or sex guide) that can describe signs of orgasm, everyone’s body has its own tell-tale signs that imply whether you are actually climaxing or not.
It is a different experience for every woman, and here are a few pointers that will help you know when yo
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