How Do Orgasms Work

How Do Orgasms Work

MLA Style Citation:

Ng, Eng H. "How Does a Female Orgasm Work?."
How Does a Female Orgasm Work? .
27 Sep. 2010 EzineArticles.com.
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Retrieved July 11, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Does-a-Female-Orgasm-Work?&id=5103646

Chicago Style Citation:

Ng, Eng H. "How Does a Female Orgasm Work?." How Does a Female Orgasm Work?
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Does-a-Female-Orgasm-Work?&id=5103646

By
Eng Hou Ng |

Submitted On September 27, 2010

You may have read this from somewhere: 75% of women do not reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. The good news is that as a guy you can improve on this situation to be in the 25% that make her sexually addicted to you. This requires you to understand the 4 stages of orgasm which are as follows:
(1) Excitement
(2) Plateau
(3) Orgasm
(4) Resolution
What happens when you get excited? Blood rushes to your "weapon" and it goes hard. As for women, it works in the same way, with blood rushes into her genitals causing her clitoris to swell and her vagina to increase in diameter and length. Then she will start to lubricate, that its, she gets wet. While getting excited can happen to men quickly, for women, this requires gradual escalation. The key to get her excited is to build up her anticipation and tension.
Anticipation (otherwise known as "teasing" and "excitement") is an effective tool to get her more aroused so as to give her higher chances of achieving orgasm. The process of building up anticipation also results in cranking up sexual tension as well, which will have to be released in the form of an orgasm later.
The way to building up anticipation is to focus on the areas surrounding the main "target" before you actually go for it. For example, you can do this by stroking her inner thighs, buttocks and hips before touching her opening. While you are doing this, she will get wetter and wetter by the second, anticipating you to finally penetrate her. At the same time, the tension inside her starts building up and at some point needs to be released. When building up her anticipation, you are also building up your own too. Therefore, it is very important for you to maintain self-control and keep the escalation at the right pace.
The term plateau gives the impression that there is not a lot happening. On the contrary, there is a lot going on. Your heart rate and your breathing speed up. Blood is congested in your genitals, waiting to blow. The same also happens to her. Listen to her breathing and feel her heart rate. If you do not notice any changes, go back to step one.
Now, here is where men and women differ. At this phase, men's arousal builds up intensely and the amount of stimulation tips over into ejaculation. In other words, this is the point of no return stage for men as he is going to come. Women do not have this. A woman can be a split second away from orgasm and it may be interrupted. She must be stimulated all the way through her orgasm.
After this, there is the Refractory Period. That is the part where men cum and definitely not going to climax again. Here again, women do not have a Refractory Period! They still remain at the Plateau Stage.
The way to cope with this is to extend the men's "plateau" stage. This means men need to maintain their level of arousal without surging to the climax stage. Here are 2 ways to prolong the "plateau" phase:
(a) Maintain a steady tempo during penetration. Allow your thrusts to gradually gain momentum and when you feel you are fairly close to climax, slow down and if possible to withdraw entirely. Resume penetration when the arousal tapers off. Explain to your partner why you are doing this because her support and understanding is important to strengthen confidence in your performance.
(b) Try alternating between deep and shallow thrusting. Shallow penetration will stimulate the sensitive nerve endings within the first 2 inches of her "gap". Deep thrusting will present less friction and stimulation on your organ and help you to last longer.
After the Refractory Stage, comes the Resolution. This is the stage where you have offloaded your "shots" into her and probably starts snoring away. Since women do not go through the Refractory Stage, Resolution begins once stimulation has ended. If she is sexually satisfied, her brain will be flooded with endorphins, the happiness hormone.
Now that you have some basic knowledge about female orgasm, it is time to start getting into action and enjoy the ride. Hopefully you will be able to let her appreciate the joy of lovemaking. If you like to dig deeper into this topic of getting her enjoy sex with you, do check it out at here and this place too
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If you ask 17 women "What does an orgasm feel like?" you'll get 17 slightly different answers. Just like every body is different, every orgasm is different, but they all have one thing in common: They feel good. Whether from partnered sex or masturbation, there are few things that hit the spot as much as achieving orgasm .
"The brain and central nervous system are responsible for sexual responses like orgasm,” says Heather Corinna, author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College and founder of sex education site Scarleteen . “During sexual pleasure, all the nerve endings of your body (including your genitals, all linked to your nervous system) are in concert and communication with your brain, and vice-versa.”
The way orgasms feel varies from person to person. Here, we asked 17 women what an orgasm feels like and here's what they had to say.
“Screaming for joy. Feeling everything and nothing at the same time.”
“Like tangling up a bunch of Christmas lights inside you and then blowing a fuse.”
“The stars emoji mixed with the explosion emoji.”
“I think the best thing about an orgasm is that you can't really be thinking about anything else besides your own pleasure. It's all-consuming and euphoric.”
“In romantic terms: Uninhibited release of control, of self-consciousness, of everything.”
“If you were to ask me to physically describe the feeling: It's like a really wonderful and powerful sneeze in your vagina. The kind of sneeze that you can sense building up for a while, and then it happens and is just the most satisfying sneeze and you hope you have to sneeze again.”
“You know when Sailor Moon floats up into the air as a beam of light shines through her body and she transforms into a superhero? That.”
“The feeling is the same level of happiness as when you're sprawled out on a lounge chair on a tropical beach, and unironically order a [non-alcoholic] strawberry daiquiri because you are unstoppable.”
“An orgasm feels like electric dominoes are falling down in different directions under your skin.”
“It's a buildup of tension that arches your back and curls your toes, almost like a clenching feeling. And just when you think you can't take it anymore, suddenly all that tension is released and pulses throughout your body. It's the best relief.”
“Like a real moment in the day that's just for you (and maybe your partner too, if you have one). It doesn't work if you're distracted, at least not for me.”
“When it's really good it's like an out-of-body experience, like I can feel my clitoris on a roller-coaster ride but my soul and mind are on a whole other level of connection with myself or the person I'm with and it takes over my body. Usually it leaves my whole body shaking and I can't stand up for a few minutes.”
“It's similar to your body falling off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy. It's a sense of sensual release that you find yourself having no control over and letting yourself go because it's just too damn good. An earth-shattering female orgasm is one of a kind.”
“Like a hard candy and you suck on it and then all of a sudden you get to the center and it's the burst of flavor.”
“The relief of walking up the stairs to your fifth-floor walk-up into your air-conditioned apartment.”
“Like melting chocolate in the microwave.”
“Remember the first time you tried an avocado or ate avocado toast? That feeling of bliss and taste of deliciousness? That's what an orgasm feels like.”
Studies suggest that orgasms can actually benefit your health. Orgasms trigger the release of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin , which, in addition to making you feel amazing, have also been shown to lower blood pressure . Women who masturbate to orgasm also report having higher self-esteem than women who don't, leading to better overall mental health. Orgasms have even been shown to have positive effects on the gut health , improving digestion, decreasing bloating and ameliorating the negative effects of anxiety and depression.
Over half of American adults say they masturbate one to four times a week, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior , making it an easy and popular way to reap the health benefits of regular orgasm. Another huge benefit? Better sleep.
“For people having difficulty sleeping, it helps them sleep,” said Dr. Jennifer Berman , urologist and sexual health expert. “It can help to limit stress and tension. It can help to relieve pain in the body. It can even relieve menstrual cramps."
The best thing about getting to know your body and your sexuality is that you don’t need a partner to reap the benefits of orgasms.
Shailene Woodley said it best when she talked about the importance of young women learning about masturbation. “As a young woman you don’t learn how to pleasure yourself, you don’t learn what an orgasm should be, you don’t learn that you should have feelings of satisfaction. I’ve always had a dream of making a book called There’s No Right Way to Masturbate ," she said .
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Whatever you call it—peaking, climaxing, or coming—having an orgasm either with yourself or with a partner can heighten sexual pleasure and may have a few added health benefits, like easing stress or relieving pain.

However, research into the perks of orgasms is limited, especially since the experience is different for everyone. "Some people orgasm multiple times, some once, and some none, and that's all totally normal," Rosara Torrisi , a certified sex therapist and founding director of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy, tells Health.

With this in mind, the following seven benefits are by no means a comprehensive list or a guarantee for every individual. But they could bring you some surprising mind and body boosts that go way beyond the bedroom.

Having an orgasm releases a flood of feel-good hormones into the bloodstream, which can make you feel happier, calmer, and less stressed, Kate White , MD, MPH, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Boston University School of Medicine and vice chair of academics in the ob-gyn department at Boston Medical Center, tells Health .

According to Dr. White, these hormones include:

Reaching climax might also make you feel more confident, which can further improve your mood, Logan Levkoff, PhD, a certified sexuality education and advisor to the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists , tells Health.

One thing to know, though, is that it's unclear how long these mood-boosting benefits may last due to the lack of research, Dr. White says.

Having orgasms, especially through masturbation, can reveal what's normal and what isn't when it comes to your sexual health. "It's one of the few times people, especially people with vulvas, give themselves permission to touch their genitals," Torrisi says.

Think of reaching peak as an opportunity to connect with your body, so you spot any changes that may indicate a medical condition, such as an STI or a yeast infection. "It is really helpful to know what your body feels like, looks like, and even smells like, because if you don't know what the norm is for your body, it's really difficult to identify when something is off," Levkoff says.

Experiencing orgasms also creates a comfort level with your body, and without that comfort level, you might be more hesitant to share health info with doctors. When someone is unfamiliar or uncomfortable with their genitals, Dr. White explains, it can cause them to fear pelvic exams or prevent them from bringing up concerns with health care providers, potentially delaying crucial care and treatment.

And for her clients with chronic illnesses, Torrisi says climaxing has an added bonus: It offers them reassurance that their body is capable of giving them pleasure.

Without experiencing orgasms, you won't be able to fully explore what gets you off—potentially cheating you out of the sexual pleasure you deserve.

"A lot of people want to have orgasms consistently from penetration, and the truth is that some people can come consistently from that, but most people can't," Dr. White says. If this sounds familiar to you, climaxing via masturbation can give you a clearer idea of the kind of stimulation you need to reach the big O.

Dr. White recommends experimenting with sex toys or touching yourself in different ways until you know what feels good for you—and you can communicate what you like or dislike when you're with a partner.

"Understanding that your body has the innate capacity for pleasure, and it's not dependent on a partner, is empowering," Levkoff says. "Know that you don't have to rely on someone else to make you a sexual being or to make you feel a certain way."

Beyond building the relationship you have with yourself, orgasms can also bond you tighter and closer to a partner.

A 2016 review published in Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology found that concentrations of the neurotransmitters oxytocin and prolactin—which are both thought to facilitate bonding—increase during orgasm. Because of this, the study authors believe there may be a link between climaxing and connecting with a sexual partner.

Of course, this doesn't mean that if you don't reach peak with your partner, your relationship isn't strong. But if a sexual partner is particularly good at making you come, you're probably more likely to want to see them again, which leads to a greater chance of investment in that relationship, Torrisi says. Plus, knowing they can give you pleasure might also boost their confidence and satisfaction.

If you're having trouble catching zzz's, consider having more Os. Many people find that orgasms make them sleepy, which is why they can be a great addition to your bedtime behavior, Levkoff says.

How do orgasms induce sleepiness? It may be due to the relaxing hormones that circulate in your system after you reach peak. Or it could be because orgasming is similar to progressive muscle relaxation , Torrisi says. Progressive muscle relaxation is a relaxation technique that involves clenching a group of muscles as tightly as possible and then releasing them. Letting go of the tension can help people fall asleep much in the same way muscles contract and then release during climax.

Or it might simply be conditional. "Some people also build a habit of orgasming before bed, so it's a part of their sleep routine," Torrisi explains. "Therefore, their bodies kind of know, oh! This means sleep."

An orgasm is a series of muscle contractions, and those contractions may help you maintain or strengthen your pelvic floor , says Levkoff. The contractions are the same ones that happen during Kegel exercises : when you intentionally tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for 3-10 seconds, then release. (Doing Kegels feels like you're holding in your pee.)

Orgasms also improve pelvic floor health is by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region, which supports muscle growth, Sonia Bahlani , MD, an ob-gyn and pelvic pain specialist based in New York, tells Health .

Regularly flexing your pelvic floor muscles can lead to better sex by increasing vaginal lubrication, reducing pain from penetration, and strengthening orgasm intensity, according to a previous Health article. That's because a stronger pelvic floor improves blood flow to the genitals and may lead to a tighter grip during penetration.

As if improved mood and sleep weren't benefits enough, orgasm-induced hormones like oxytocin and endorphins appear to act as natural painkillers, Dr. White says.

"Those pleasurable feelings tend to dull feelings of pain," Levkoff says, noting this may be why some people find that orgasms relieve menstrual cramps.

However, for others, getting off can actually increase period pain, Torrisi says. This is because orgasms trigger uterine contractions, worsening the uterine contractions you're already experiencing thanks to your period.

Feel free to give climaxing a go as a way to ease your period-related pains—or any other pain you're experiencing. Just don't expect it to work like a magic bullet, since every body is different.

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