How Do Girls Come

How Do Girls Come
Medically Reviewed by Nayana Ambardekar, MD on May 30, 2020
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What do women want? For those who've ever pondered this question, here are 19 relationship secrets. They're based on the study of healthy, happy couples and our changing gender roles. Secret No. 1: Women appreciate a guy with a sensitive side, especially when they're upset. Put your arm around them and hand them a tissue. Nurturing is a powerful way to connect.
When it comes to romance, many women do like men to take a traditional masculine role. This is especially true in the wooing stage of a relationship, according to psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, who's written several books about love. They are perfectly capable of pulling out their own chair or opening a door, but if you see them hesitate, they might just be waiting for you to be the gentleman.
Styles come and go, but men's attention to their grooming and clothing should be long lasting. It's important to women from the first flirtation through the honeymoon and beyond. "You've got to figure out if there's a certain look that she likes," says Kirschner. "If she likes a guy in tight jeans, you wear tight jeans."
OK, this tip doesn't come from women, but from clever testing by psychologists of women's subconscious preferences. One intriguing study found that the color red made men seem more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable to women. There's a caveat, though. Red doesn't make guys appear nicer or kinder. That part is up to you.
Nothing captures a woman's heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man, according to love guru Kirschner. "Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive." They like it when their men recognize a flaw -- a short temper , for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work -- and love it when they make an effort to address it.
When something's bothering them, they want your ear, not your advice. "Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented," says Kirschner. "But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship."
Listening is important, but they also want to know that they are being heard. Nodding along won't cut it. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner. If they tell you that they are upset because their boss gave them a tough time, they want to hear you say, "I'm sorry that work was such a drag for you today." And remember: Resist the urge to offer solutions.
The three dates before sex rule is an urban legend. Women don't set a timeline on when they'll invite a potential partner into the bedroom. Some women will want to have many dates before sex. A good rule of thumb is to give the relationship at least two months to grow before entering the sexual arena.
Guys often want to take the quickest path to sex. But many women prefer the scenic route. "Women want sex but they get to it in a different way," says psychologist Kirschner, who has helped hundreds of couples achieve a more rewarding relationship. "They want to feel connected and understood, they want to be romanced." That means time and talking and touching -- in other words, foreplay .
This is something both of you need to focus on, but Kirschner says that women appreciate it and feel more protected when the guy makes it clear that it's a concern to him -- and then shows her that he practices what he preaches.
Women do like to talk to about what's going on in the sack, and they want to please their man -- and a tactful approach is often best. Ask them what they like. Be sure to ask for what you want in a positive and validating way. Kirschner advises saying something along the lines of, "I would really love if you [fill in the blanks]."
When you have an off night and can't perform, they feel bad, too. They might worry that they no longer turn you on and they will want assurance that that is not true. They will want to talk about what's going on and what you are doing about it, especially if it's a recurring problem. "It's a touchy thing for both of you," says Kirschner, "but talking about it is a plus."
Remember the saying "imitation is the highest form of flattery"? A woman often conveys how they feel about you by mirroring your moods and moves. They may order a meal that pairs with yours, wear your favorite color, or smile or cross their arms when you do. Mimicking is their way of putting you at ease and letting you know they are charmed.
Does your partner curl up in your sweater or sneak into your work shirt? Some researchers have found that the scent of a man's perspiration has a relaxing effect on women.
Women like to be told they look nice, and they like a man who notices without being told. When they are wearing a sexy new dress, for example, they'll give you major points for saying how hot they look, especially if you mention the dress before they do. If they are looking particularly attractive, if they have a new haircut, if they are looking more fit -- let them hear about it.
When your woman wants to talk about the relationship, it doesn't mean you did something wrong (well, not necessarily). Kirschner says that many women like to talk about the "state of the union" -- what's going right, what's going wrong, or simply what's going on. This is a good thing. An honest, wide-ranging talk can bring the two of you closer.
You may feel more comfortable sitting side by side, but many women prefer face time -- and we don't mean the latest mobile video chat technology. Kirschner says that women prefer their men to make eye contact with them as they're talking. And looking her in the eye during sex will deepen the relationship outside the bedroom.
How do you know if they are ready to commit? They'll say so. This is something that women are often quite up front about. But they don't want to have "the talk" too often. If they are ready and they have given you time, the next time the subject comes up, be prepared to step up or step off.
Romance is something they will always want, whether you've been together two months or 20 years. Flowers, an intimate dinner, a few lines of love poetry -- don't worry, they don't have to be your own -- might sound cliché, but Kirschner insists that most women appreciate such simple romantic gestures and often show their appreciation after the lights go down.
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Diana Kirschner, PhD. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
American Psychological Society.
Knapp, M. and Hall, J. Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction. 7th edition, Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2010.
West Virginia Department of Education.
Schnarch, D. Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships ; MacMillan, 1997.
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Have you ever thought, "WTF, why can't he finish? " There’s an expectation in our culture that men will always orgasm and that they’ll always ejaculate when they do. Well, neither of those things is true. And not only are both of those assumptions untrue, but they’re also harmful to how people interact in the bedroom. When a man can’t have an orgasm or doesn’t ejaculate, all too often his partner thinks that something is wrong. Maybe they’re not sexy enough or their partner isn't attracted to them anymore or they’re not satisfying his needs. What is really just a normal part of human sexuality turns into a problem and an issue that can all too often lead to tears and misunderstanding and ugh, who wants that?
But I totally get it. I’ve been there too, especially when I was younger. When we’re raised to think that men are always raring to go and that they’re so turned on all the time that premature ejaculation is a national joke, of course we’re going to think something is wrong the first few times we’re faced with a man who can’t come! However, as I’ve gotten older and had more experience with men and their penises I’ve learned that just like I don’t always come — or ejaculate — guys have times when they’re not going to come either. It doesn’t mean our relationship is flawed or I’m not hot enough. It just means that he’s not going to have an orgasm this time and that’s OK .
I reached out to 15 women to see what they think and do when they’re faced with an orgasmless man. Do they collapse into a pile of tears? Pull out the tiny violin and play it a funeral dirge? Shrug it off? Keep reading to find out.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises below:
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All About Periods

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A period is a release of blood from a girl's uterus , out through her vagina. It is a sign that she is getting close to the end of puberty .
There is a lot to learn about periods. Here are some common questions that teens have.
Most girls get their first period when they're around 12. But getting it any time between age 10 and 15 is OK. Every girl's body has its own schedule.
There isn't one right age for a girl to get her period. But there are some clues that it will start soon:
A period happens because of changes in hormones
in the body. Hormones are chemical messengers. The ovaries release the female hormones estrogen
and progesterone
. These hormones cause the lining of the uterus (or womb) to build up. The built-up lining is ready for a fertilized egg to attach to and start developing. If there is no fertilized egg, the lining breaks down and bleeds. Then the same process happens all over again.
It usually takes about a month for the lining to build up, then break down. That is why most girls and women get their periods around once a month.
Ovulation (pronounced: ov-yoo-LAY-shun) is the release of an egg from the ovaries. The same hormones that cause the uterus lining to build up also cause an egg to leave one of the ovaries. The egg travels through a thin tube called a fallopian tube to the uterus.
If the egg is fertilized by a sperm cell, it attaches to the wall of the uterus, where over time it develops into a baby. If the egg is not fertilized, the uterus lining breaks down and bleeds, causing a period.
For the first few years after a girl starts her period, it may not come regularly. This is normal at first. By about 2–3 years after her first period, a girl's periods should be coming around once every 4–5 weeks.
Yes, a girl can get pregnant as soon as her period starts. A girl can even get pregnant right before her very first period. This is because a girl's hormones might already be active. The hormones may have led to ovulation
and the building of the uterine wall. If a girl has sex, she can get pregnant, even though she has never had a period.
Periods usually last about 5 days. But a period can be shorter or last longer.
Periods usually happen about once every 4–5 weeks. But some girls get their periods a little less or more often.
You have many choices about how to deal with period blood. You may need to experiment a bit to find which works best for you. Some girls use only one method and others switch between different methods.
It may look like a lot of blood, but a girl usually only loses a few tablespoons of blood during the whole period. Most girls need to change t
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