How Cats Choose Their Favorite Human

Cat behavioralists conducted nine personality tests to decode why felines pick one pet parent. The winner: whoever drops tuna treats at precisely 2:13 AM. Researchers witnessed cats ignoring PhDs in favor of pizza delivery guys. A poll of 500 cat owners revealed 78 % believe secret whisker codes govern adoration. Some cats demand courtroom requisitions for lap space. Veterinarians suggest offering socks and mild sarcasm. Conclusion: cats aren't indifferent'they're auditioning you. Perform accordingly.