Hot Tub Foursome

Hot Tub Foursome
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I've been married for fourteen years and in the last year, my husband and I had a bit too much too drink one night and one night in the hot tub we got sexual with another couple as far as touching and feeling and actually was able to have an orgasm experience. Since then, it has happened out of the hot tub and in the bedroom with all four people (two couples) with just the foreplay, but totally turns on both couples whether it be two women with the men watching or just the men sucking our breasts and fingering going on. The men are never together, but the woman tend to be bonded every time. It happens once a month and never scheduled, but are we normal? Have you ever heard of this private act going on? We have a great friendship with these people and everyone involved has no harsh feelings the next morning. Is this a healthy relationship? We all thoroughly enjoy it.

You can use your feelings as a gauge — "We all thoroughly enjoy it." That's a pretty positive indicator. Sex among couples has likely gone on since there have been couples, although the "sexual revolution" of the 1960s and 1970s brought an increase in the practice, enjoyment, and acceptance of this and other group sex activities. Here are some considerations for deciding about sex with other couples — guidelines that may help you determine the "healthiness" of your particular situation:

Answering "yes" to numbers 1 to 3 and "no" to number 4 may be a good indicator that your four-play is fair, not foul. However, perhaps the best suggestion is to be aware of these issues, as well as your and your partners' feelings, as you go about your four-play adventures.
If you are in an urgent situation, please visit our Emergency page to view a list of 24 hour support services and hotlines.

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Almara Abgarian Thursday 11 Apr 2019 9:13 am
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Black, tall, slim, long legs with a white shirt, glasses, hat and roller… You had floppy brown hair, a beige macintosh with a thin puffer…
The royal love affair with the breed actually dates back to Queen Elizabeth II’s childhood.
In my opinion it’s intimacy - being able to bare all to your partner in the confidence that they will love and accept you fully - that makes a relationship strong.
You'll just have to move to Arizona.
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‘Is it hygienic to share a hot tub with 15 people?’
It’s strange that one of the main thoughts swirling in my mind as I watch the man opposite me stroke his girlfriend’s breasts is about cleanliness.
I am secretly hoping that no one gets too excited, because the idea of adding sperm into the mix is not appealing.
We are all guests of the Tokio hotel , a new supper club concept that combines food and sensuality in a secret townhouse location.
The invite is vague, with little to no information of what to expect as we step inside, and it’s a weird experience from the get-go (hours before the hot tub incident).
As my friend – let’s call him Ben – and I enter the hotel, a male host dressed in a black silky robe asks us to remove our clothes and put on kimonos as he hands us each a very small notebook and a pen.
We are not allowed to speak in this room but welcome to communicate in writing.
How undressed we’d like to get is up to us; I wear a lace body for the occasion and decide to keep it on for the moment, mainly because the organisers hadn’t accounted for people with large breasts and it’s a bit early in the evening to free the nipple.
It’s a small room, too small for the gathering of around 20-30 guests (all couples), especially as we’re sat on cushions on a heated floor. But it’s a welcoming atmosphere, with people eyeing each other up and trying to suss out who they might have fun with later.
Since we can’t talk, we pass notes to each other. Most are polite questions such as, ‘have you been to anything like this before?’ but soon enough, we’re passing dirty greetings along.
Ben gets one such note: ‘I can’t wait to get to know you tonight’, it said. And the subtext of ‘I’d like to shag you’ is pretty clear.
It’s a great icebreaker and since the hosts pass the ‘dirty’ notes for us, no one is left feeling rejected or embarrassed.
After the introduction, we’re asked to do a few tasks, including looking into the eyes of a stranger, followed by closing our eyes and doing a ‘dance’ together, with our fingers. I’m stood across from Charlie*, a handsome man with a lovely smile.
For this minute or two, we focus purely on each other and it’s oddly erotic, even though we’re barely touching.
Moments later, it’s dinner time – and I say that loosely.
Our meal is, quite literally, spread out onto the table; there are no plates or forks, just a bundle of vegetables and miso sauce for us to eat with our hands. It’s quite evident that the emphasis of this supper club isn’t on food, especially as midway through our starter, the lights go out and we’re treated to an erotic dance as we listen to a soundtrack of a woman moaning.
Suddenly, the atmosphere is electric and I notice some people getting turned on.
But personally, I’m still perplexed. It’s not quite a sex party and not quite a dinner, and I’ve not had enough of either to satiate my appetite.
We’re split into groups of four, and asked to go to different floors and rooms for a special experience. Mine includes drawing on other people with glow-in-the-dark paint, while Ben gets a bit more physical in his.
‘I had to massage a man, with oil, and then he did it to me,’ he tells me afterwards. ‘I mean, it was a nice massage but they also asked us to make these sensual sounds and given I’m not gay, it felt a bit weird.’
At the main meal, I end up next to James*, who is also a journalist. I notice his treasure trail and realise he’s naked under the robe. His girlfriend is sat across from us, and he tells me they’re ‘not swingers’ but have an open relationship and live together.
It’s also during this meal that I receive my first dirty message, which says ‘I noticed you the moment you walked through the door’.
I’m very flattered but since I have no idea who it was from, I resume my chat with James.
At this point, the sensual aspect of the evening truly begins (and I don’t just say that because I fancy my dinner company).
First, two of the guests – who as it turns out are actually hired performers posing as guests, one of them Charlie – slide underneath the boxed glass table and start covering each other in paint.
‘I need to readjust, this is giving me a hard-on,’ James whispers in my ear.
After the show, we go upstairs to enjoy dessert. In the middle of the room is a naked man, suspended in the air by ropes, getting his arse smacked by his mistress. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to munch on profiteroles without thinking of penis again.
But we’ve had wine by now, so none of us are particularly bothered.
More than a dozen of us venture out onto the roof, get naked and jump in the tub (note: there is no graceful way to do this).
We’re sharing bottles upon bottles of wine between us, and it’s loosening inhibitions. Hands are wandering underneath the water, nipples are being sucked, massages are given and penises stroked.
An hour later, I’m kissing James (you knew this was coming, didn’t you?) as his girlfriend floats naked in the same hot tub, getting her feet sucked by a stranger. Another two are playing with her breasts.
Later, it escalates into fingering, blow jobs and partner swapping galore.
The hot tub starts to feel crowded, and it’s at this point I bow out and head downstairs.
I’ve lost Ben, and find him making out with the mistress in the main room.
Meanwhile, in the sofa room, there’s a full-blown orgy taking place with six couples shagging and sharing.
As the only singles at the party, barring one man who bravely came on his own, sex parties can sometimes make you feel like the odd one out.
Because while everyone is happy to share for a short time, they inevitable end up with their partner in the end.
And if you’re a newbie to this scene, it can feel uncomfortable – which is why I recommend bringing a male friend or going to the singles only event (which took place the night before, on the Friday).
‘Friday had much more of a subdued energy; there wasn’t so much sexual activity, but deep conversation,’ Gillian Mead, co-founder of the Tokio Hotel, tells me.
‘A lot of people very also interested in the Shibari workshop. Because they weren’t couples, it was more of a “getting to know each other” energy.
‘Sex is something that we expect, but that’s not the sole purpose.
‘We are not a sex party, but some people might come and engage in sexual activity, some might not, and do a massage or stare into each other’s eyes and have a deep conversation for hours.’
Tokio hotel is a good introductory event for people who feel overwhelmed by overtly kinky or fetish-inspired evenings, because despite the f***ing that goes on, it’s held in a house and has a more intimate feel to it.
But if you’re single, be prepared to potentially end up like I did – doing shots with the staff while watching others orgasm.
I still had a blast, and may or may not have taken that kiss with James further – you’ll never know – but next time, I’m going to the singles night or bringing a lover.

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Rachel Kramer Bussel ( rachelkramerbussel.com ) writes about sex, dating, books and pop culture.

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And it definitely helped our sex life.
For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed—that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.

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