Hot Sex On Valentines Day
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Hot Sex On Valentines Day
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Jill Hamilton
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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Because everyone deserves a really great V-Day orgasm, tyvm.
This is the year to bust out the Special Occasion Sex and make sure Valentine’s Day is hot as hell, because you deserve it. It’s the ideal chance to focus on what makes life delightful—Valentine’s Day sex, exchanging gifts , eating chocolate, watching swoony movies , and, if you have one, telling your partner how much you love them. But no matter what your sitch is—whether you’re married, in a long-distance relationship , with a new hookup buddy, or having a solo toss with your favorite sex toy —we’ve got you covered.
If you’re feeling super stuck/overwhelmed/raging against the Hallmark machine this V-Day, here are a couple ideas for how to make the mood feel sufficiently sexy.
“Ditch the flowers, chocolates, and expensive meals and instead treat yourselves to an erotic online course or experience together,” says Sylvie Bee , who runs a sex, intimacy, and pleasure coaching practice . Experiencing new things together can really bring you and your partner closer, so even if kink isn’t your thing, there are other courses you can try on everything from oral sex to foreplay. Sex expert and educator Kenneth Play’s online courses run for under $500 and you learn a ton .
“Valentine’s Day can be a time to really take your time, tuning in to the delicious, erotic sensations of each other’s bodies with sensual massage,” says Libby Sheppard , a sex and intimacy coach specializing in intimate touch. “Creating a beautiful, warm, and candlelit space to pamper your partner with a more tantric approach to intimacy takes away the focus on any ‘goal’ of sex and allows you both to relax and explore each other’s bodies.”
If sex has felt meh lately, maybe it’s time to spice it up. You can talk about it with your partner, or try taking an online quiz. There’s a kink test to figure out your particular brand of freaky or a quiz to find your “ erotic blueprint ” (energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, or shapeshifter). “From there, you can explore new ways to turn each other on, looking for points of intersection,” says Sara Sloan, LMFT-Associate , a relationship and sex therapist at Austin Concierge Therapy.
Once you’re sufficiently turned on and ready to go, have a look at these V-Day positions for whatever your circumstance is this February 14.
Mix the classic yab-yum tantric pose with a touch o’ bondage . “Using deliciously silky shibari rope made of silk, hemp, or jute, partners tie themselves together (not too tight but tight enough to feel really connected). Extra rope can also be used to bind hands together, for some extra-connective yab-yumminess,” says Bee. “The key to this is eye gazing and synchronized breathing for extra intimacy.”
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One partner lies back on a table or countertop, serving themselves up, and the other stands to penetrate with their penis or a strap-on. “This move is perfect for super-romantic couples who still got a lot of ‘I miss you so bad and I want you right now’ feelings pumping through their veins,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD , resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha . “It also benefits couples who are huge fans of clitoral play and deep penetration.” Keep a little space between yourselves for clit stim via hands or a bullet vibrator .
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“When you want to have phone sex, it can be as close to the real thing as possible—it’s the gift that keeps on giving,” says Sloan. Have your partner tell you what they’d do to you if you were together IRL and give them a show via video chat. They please themselves on the other end. Win-win.
“Think of this position as missionary on its side,” says Ruby Payne , sex expert at adult-toy retailer UberKinky . “Focus on getting as close as possible to your partner so that you’re completely pressed against one another. Move slowly together, letting the sensual nature of this position completely take over.”
“People fantasize about sex against the wall,” says Liv Arnold , an erotic rom-com writer . Stand and wrap your leg around your partner’s hips, like you’re in the part of the book where they have insanely passionate sex for the first time. “It allows for quickies, and you don’t even need to undress.”
“Set the tone for the hookup with wild doggy-style leaning on the kitchen table. Your partner can grab your hair and cheekily slap your butt,” says Katherin Winnick , sex coach and BDSM expert at Let’s Talk Sex . “If you’re close to the fridge, have your partner rub an ice cube down your back.” Ultimate chills.
“Sexting is great, but a little virtual masturbation party is even better,” says Carrie Smith , VP of product at Cake . “Sending your partner a bottle of arousal gel—Cake’s Tingle to Mingle is designed for vaginal pleasure while Stim makes penises feel amazing—as a surprise gift will keep them happy (and hot!).” Tell each other exactly what to do with your new gifts.
“It’s kind of like a bougie version of the classic doggy-style position except way more steamy!” says Rachael Z., sex hacker and female empowerment coach . It feels really good, and it’s super versatile. “It’s a receiver submissive position, so it’s perfect for rough, dirty, aggressive sex. Incorporate hair-pulling, the giver holding your wrists behind your back, or holding you firmly in place. It’s also easy to transform it into a slow, sexy, romantic position. The penetrating partner can whisper in their partner’s ear, kiss their neck, or caress their body. Go slow.”
Step 1: Apply a stimulating gel or oil to your vulva. (If you use one with CBD, rub it in for about 10 minutes so it can take effect.)
Step 2: Womanizer clit vibe, for the wee little clit BJ you never knew you needed.
Step 3: Slide a glass dildo or internal vibrator against the top wall of your vagina.
Step 4: Await the best orgasm of your life.
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Face each other and wrap your legs around each other. You can do it with penetration (a double-headed dildo works too) or just rub lube-y hands on each other’s most sensitive spots. Rock each other gently and gaze into each other’s eyes. Don’t even say anything, just watch.
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If FaceTime/Skype sex is all that can happen, offer yourself as their personal plaything. Put on something sexy, surround yourself with a few toys, and tell your partner you’ll do their bidding. Will they have you strip? Play with yourself? Touch themselves and not allow you to do the same? Dunno. Kinda kinky though.
No matter where you are in your relationship, mutual masturbation is a surprisingly good way to connect as a couple. Kneel facing each other, sitting back on your heels if it’s more comfortable. Go slowly and watch each other’s faces as you go up to and through orgasm —touching each other, too, if the feeling strikes.
Masturbating in front of your partner is super sexy but also incredibly intimate and personal. Light a candle or two to make it feel like some sex magic is happening.
The good thing about friends with benefits—besides the benefits—is that no one’s trying to impress anyone. Break out your more hard-core, failproof sex toy for this 69-adjacent move.
You: Lie back on pillows with your toy powered up between your legs. Them: Straddle you with their genitals in easy reach of your mouth. Fire up your toy (hand them the remote…or don’t) and it will attend to you while you attend to your partner orally .
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While your partner is on all fours, approach them from the rear (literally) with a very lube-y finger or dildo at the entrance to their bum. When they’re ready, they can move their hips back and forth onto the finger/toy, so they’re in control of how much they want to take in.
Get another handful of lube (a coconut-oil-based formula is safe with toys and vaginas and effective enough for anal) and cup their area to give them incredible dual stimulation.
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Take matters into your own hands by ensuring your pleasure and bringing a toy into the mix. Then get on top of your partner while they sit on the bed, lean back against their thighs, and fire up that toy to full power as you ride them.
Celebrate a different V this V-Day: your own…with or without your new bae. Direct all the attention between your legs by lying back on the bed with your legs spread open into a V shape.
Then lube up your first two fingers and hold them in a V shape as you slide them along the sides of your vulva for next-level feels. Your partner can join in on the fun by entering you as you continue to stroke yourself. (Today has definitely been brought to you by the letter “v.”)
The Yin and Yang Get super close with a dose of intimate eye contact by having your partner sit on the edge of the bed, with you straddling their lap and drawing them in with one leg wrapped around their torso, the other on the ground for stability. Hold each other’s gaze as you rock against each other with sweet, slow thrusts. Don’t even speak— just moan .
Have your partner sit at the edge of the bed so you can keep some sweet supplies at hand on the floor . Drizzle chocolate syrup over the head of their penis, swirling your tongue around the head with slow, wide licks up the shaft to catch the drips. You can decorate it with whipped cream if you’re feeling it, or dot some M&Ms up the shaft, nibbling them off as you go. If your partner has a vulva, do the same but on their nipples or around other parts of their body (you def don’t want anything food-related in or around the vulva!). You can also try edible lube ! Get as dirty and decadent as you want—sheets can be washed later.
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The Venus in Cuffs Get your freak on with a little exploratory BSDM . Bend over and let your partner bind your wrists to a sturdy doorknob. Your partner can issue commands like “Spread your legs farther” or “Beg me to touch you.” (If they feel shy about being bossy—and it can feel kinda weird the first time—it’s way easier if you’re not looking at them.)
A little roughness (don’t forget to talk it out first and establish a safe word ) coupled with soothing kisses will leave you panting. Oh, and no matter how turned on you get, you don’t get to have an orgasm till they tell you it’s okay.
The Eargasm Invest in a Bluetooth-enabled remote-control sex toy so you can go to town on each other from afar. Whisper a sexy story to them over the phone. You’ll be able to feel their moans in your body.
The Super Soaker Light some candles, grab some champagne, and hop into a steamy bath to create your own little private world. Scrub each other down, taking great care with each part and appreciating what you love so much about their body.
Lean back on your partner’s chest, bliss out, and let them give you an orgasm with a sudsy hand or the spray from a detachable shower head. While you recover, take your time and just appreciate the moment before you switch places and return the favor.
If you’ve never tried a wearable Kegel exerciser , allow me to change your life.
Put it on silent “discreet mode” (crucial!) and insert it into your vagina. It will press against your clitoris and internal hot spots every time you squeeze your pelvic floor muscles. This probably won’t be enough to put you over the edge while you’re going about your regular day (and who really wants to have an orgasm on the subway?), but you will barely be able to wait to get home and throw yourself on the bed, turn on its vibration mode, and oh…god…yes.
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Pay close attention to these two steps in bed
If you have a Y chromosome, there’s a pretty good chance you think with your penis: Scientists say men have a higher “sexual concordance” than women, meaning your boner and your brain stem are operating on a similar wavelength, while your partners’ could be on totally different signals. But new research offers insight into how she’s really feeling down there . Researchers from Queens University recruited 31 young women to watch an 18-minute foreplay clip and an 18-minute clip of heterosexual sex, and used a series of testing methods to measure blood flow to the vaginal walls and vulva. The women then remotely ranked their level of sexual arousal from 1 to 10, from no arousal at all to the horniest they’ve ever been.
So what’s the relationship between her perceived arousal and her actual orgasm ? Researchers found a higher concordance between vulva stimulation and perceived arousal than vaginal stimulation and perceived arousal, suggesting guys are having better luck stimulating the vulva than focusing on thrusting. Second, women who watched people have sex had no higher concordance than women watching foreplay, which means you’ll want to pay equal attention to each when the moment strikes you. So give every part of her privates attention and save time for foreplay to make sure both of you have a real Valentine’s Day treat.
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©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Recharge Poolside at This Panama City Hotel
All the Ser Criston Spoilers You Could Ever Need
Your Freezing Toes Are Cryin' for These Warm Socks
The Irony of King Charles Name-Dropping Meghan 👀
WANDER WOMEN COLLECTIVE Getty Images
Have Sex Somewhere You’ve Never Done It Before
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Or Invest in a Low-Stress Staycation Environment
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Take a Virtual Couples Tantra Class Together
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Spice Up Your Sex With Some Role-Play
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Or Better Yet, Get It On the Next Morning
Buy Each Other One New Sexy Item for the Bedroom
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Getty | Khadija Horton Getty Images
Get Them a Gift Card That’s Really for You
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We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we love. Promise.
Grab your heart-shaped candy because the most romantic day of the year is almost here, folks. This means now—not in a few days, not next week, but now—is the time to plan all the ways to make your Valentine’s Day extra special this year. The good news is you don’t actually have to spend a fortune or plan a whole parade to make your partner feel all lovey-dovey. In fact, one of the easiest ways to go above and beyond is by having wild, sexy, passionate Valentine’s Day sex .
Granted, having sex is pretty much the only V-Day activity that doesn’t require a reservation or an overpriced Uber. But! That doesn’t mean it’s any less special or attention-worthy. In fact, putting a little thought into your Valentine’s Day sex is just about the hottest way to celebrate the holiday. Luckily, there are tons of ways to turn up the heat, most of which involve spending absolutely zero dollars. From starting with a romantic date to upping the kink factor or practicing some consensual rough play , the options are plentiful.
Just remember that whatever type of sex you decide to consensually indulge in this V-Day, don’t forget the aftercare . This is the act of making sure your partner feels safe and happy, which can look like cuddling, taking a bath together, or simply splitting a large pepperoni pizza and chatting afterward. And now without further ado, here are 26 ways to spice up your Valentine’s Day sex (or any sex, tbh) that’ll have even Cupid blushing.
It doesn’t matter how cheesy or cliché it seems, having an erotic massage session is like Setting the Mood 101. Sure, you could book a bougie couples massage somewhere, but you can also get that relaxed, blissed-out feeling at home, which is great because then you can quickly transition from deep tissue to deep penetration . Grab some massage oils and watch an instructional video before pampering your person with a rubdown.
While sex toys are obviously great for some solo time, they’re just as good for couples activities as well. Since only about 18 percent of cis women reach orgasm during penetrative sex alone , using a toy that adds some extra clitoral stimulation is essential. Here are some couples toys options that will help you *and* your partner have an extra-special V-Day orgasm .
If you’re more of a low-key couple who prefers nights on the couch over nights at the club (respect), why not lean into your usual hobbies by making them sexier? There are lots of sexy shows and movies out there that get the vibes flowing. Watch something erotic like Bridgerton or even American Horror Story , and if the mood strikes, consider recreating your favorite scene . If not, simply going at it on the couch while Regé-Jean Page licks a spoon in the background isn’t the worst way to spend V-Day.
You don’t have to go all Fifty Shades here, but if both you and your partner are interested in exploring dominance or submission , there’s no better time than on V-Day. After chatting (and getting consent, ofc), grab a pair of handcuffs or a blindfold and play around with some BDSM power dynamics . Just make sure to use a safe word and take things slow, communicating and ch
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