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Why do guys so often end up with hot-but-crazy girls as their
breakthrough girlfriends? Due to the hot/crazy discount.

Over my years in the dating niche, I’ve become aware of an
interesting trend. Inexperienced men,
time and again, after slaving away to do better with girls, end up with
gorgeous-yet-crazy women. And often
get quite attached to them, until they have a dramatic breakup at some
point.
I’ve seen it happen again and again. It happened to me as well. Much
of the time, it seems to be unavoidable: the less experienced guy
finally ends
up with this girl who is just so hot... but also, well, a little nuts.
Sure, there are experienced men who date crazy girls too. Some guys
have certain issues that lead them to end up with crazy chicks time and
again. Or sometimes you meet a ‘stealth crazy’ who was extra good at
hiding the bats in her belfry (though you’ll still catch her fast if you know what to look for ).
But by and large, the “I’m dating this girl and she is so
hot... but she’s also crazy” phenomenon is one you see primarily among
a.) less experienced daters, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, b.)
intermediate daters.

But here’s the interesting part of the pattern: the hot/crazy
girlfriend is often a breakthrough
girlfriend for a guy... she’s the first girl in her looks class a guy
has managed to bed, let alone get into a relationship. After a guy
breaks up with a hot/crazy
girlfriend, he’ll typically go on to date similarly attractive women to
his ex, except that these next girlfriends are sane (or saner , in any event).
Why should this be so? Why are hot/crazy girls so often the gateway
drug to the hot girl castle?
Because hot/crazy girls are easier to have sex with and date than
hot/sane girls.
For our purposes, we’re going to consider the following traits
emblematic of ‘crazy’:
Now, these traits alone are not going to put a girl in a psych ward.
And before the angry comments of, “Hey, I’m impulsive, with a high sex
drive and high openness, and I am NOT crazy!” what I want to point out
is this:
We’re not talking clinical definitions of crazy here. We’re talking
subjective definitions. Which are the only definitions lay people are
qualified to make, anyway. And the
way someone decides someone else is crazy is by comparing that person
to his OWN behavior.
The best way I’ve heard it described is thus: everyone on the road
who drives slower than you is an idiot. Everyone who drives faster than
you is insane.
Well, it works the same way in dating: any
person who is markedly less impulsive, lower sex drive, and lower
sexual openness than you is a prude. Anyone who is markedly more
impulsive, higher sex drive, and higher sexual openness than you is
insane.
Got that? We’re talking subjective definitions.
If I hook up with three new girls a month, a girl who hooks up with
one new guy a month does not look crazy to me (I mean, there are still
red flags there for a relationship that I will probably pay attention
to cerebrally... but at a subjective level, she looks just fine). But if I only
hook up with two new girls a year, a girl who hooks up with one new guy
a month looks wild and insane .
Everything in this article is about your subjective experience as a man:
Note that your ratings of women on both qualities are prone to
change over time. The girls you think are hot right now will not be so hot to you after
you’ve leveled up enough with women.
We’re going to be talking about how you rate things now .
Now let’s look at a little research related to women’s sexual
appetites. A 1999 study called “ What
Distinguishes Women with Unusually High Numbers of Sex Partners? ”
compared women ages 25 to 35, and broke them into two groups: women
with lower partner counts (from 0 to 10 partners), and women with
higher partner counts (from 25 to 200 partners). Here’s the study’s
abstract:
The higher partner count women had on average 58 lifetime sex
partners, compared to 4 on average for the lower partner count women
On the Sociosexuality Orientation Inventory, or SOI (basically,
how open a girl is to casual sex / how much she wants it / how much she
enjoys it), high count girls averaged an SOI of 184, with a range of 83
to 545.
Meanwhile, lower count girls averaged an SOI of 38, with a range of 18
to 85. So the average high
count girl is as little restricted as the least restricted low count girl.
And the most open-minded girl is many multiples less restricted than
that

Women with high partner counts could be of any looks class (from
ugly to beautiful)
Women with higher testosterone exposure in the womb have higher
openness to sex, more lifetime sex partners, more masculine behavior,
and are more bicurious

Women with high partner counts have lower waist-to-hip ratios on
average than women with lower partner counts (so, the average high
count woman has a hotter body than the average low count woman)
High count women did not report worse childhoods than low count
women did, surprising the researchers ( and me , to be honest... though
keep in mind: we’re talking about self-reports on this dimension, which
are often unreliable)
High count women are significantly more interested in casual sex
than low count women, and they also
place significantly more importance on a man’s physical attractiveness

So, some quite interesting things here. You can have a very
beautiful, high count girl, with a hot body, a somewhat more
masculinized brain, and who is very interested in sex, and will judge
you primarily by your appearance. Think about that for a second.

She doesn’t care quite so much about your confidence or ambition.

If you’re a guy who’s really worried about not being good-looking
enough, that might be a little distressing. Or maybe it isn’t (since
you’ve also just discovered the conservative girls you probably want as
girlfriends don’t care about looks nearly as much). But if you’re a
longtime Girls Chase reader, you know that physical attractiveness is,
to a very large extent, within your control:
Which leads us to part of the phenomenon we see among Girls Chase
students: once a guy reaches a certain point, the first girl of a
higher looks class he gets is crazy. Why? Because your appearance typically upgrades
before your confidence does.
The first thing that happens when you upgrade your appearance is you
become more attractive to high sexual openness women – including the beautiful ones. We’ll talk more
about this, don’t worry. But first...

A 2006
study
discovered high sex drive women find everyone (both men and women) more
attractive. So while high drive women care more about looks, they also
find you more physically attractive than low count women do. So if
you’re a ‘6’ to the average low count girl, you might be an ‘8’ to the
average high count one.
Meanwhile, a
2011 study
certified what we all already know: that the more beautiful a woman is,
the pickier she is, and the fewer casual sex partners she will tend to
have.
Put it all together, and you’ve got beautiful women, who ordinarily
are picky and have fewer partners. Unless
they’re high sex drive, highly sexually open (sociosexually
unrestricted) women... in which case, they view you as more attractive,
are much more interested in hooking up, and do hook up much, much more.
So you have a situation where the kind of girl the ordinary man will
refer to as ‘crazy’ – high sex drive, high impulsivity, high sexual
openness – is significantly easier to get than a comparably attractive
girl who is not ‘crazy’.
In a way, then, a girl who is crazy (well, let’s call it
‘boy-crazy’) is
available at a discount compared to a girl who looks just like her but
is not so boy-crazy. She is easier to get.

Men who upgrade their fundamentals are typically going to end up
with hot/crazy girls first, because
these girls are the bargains of the hot girl world .
Again, I want to stress that no one is calling high sex drive, high
openness girls objectively
crazy.
I’m quite fond of girls like this myself. While I go for hot/sane
girls for my relationships (I’m a mission-driven, non-hedonistic guy...
which makes me a rather poor relationship fit for the average hot/crazy
girl), I am a big fan of hot/crazy girls for hooking up, or even just
nice (red pilled) conversations about dating, romance, men, women, and
life. You can’t have those conversations to the same degree with more
reserved girls (who have a lot more walls constructed around these
issues and are prone to upset if you say anything too threatening to
their worldviews).
What we’re talking about here is subjective crazy. If a girl is way
more sex crazy than you are, or far more impulsive than you are, for
instance, you will tend to think she’s nuts.
Now. Here’s the fun part. If you are not in the top 2-3% of hedonic
impulsiveness, but you pull yourself into the top 5% of men looks-wise
(which is really not hard to do at all... just by not being grossly
overweight, getting a decent haircut, growing out some cool facial
hair, and putting on a button-down
shirt and jeans that fit you well, you’re probably in the top 5% of
men your age already, appearance-wise, if you’re in the United States.
And
there is a LOT you can do to upgrade your
fundamentals ). If you do that, you are going to find you
suddenly get a much warmer reception from some really beautiful girls
than you used to.

The girls you’re getting a
suddenly-warmer response from are almost
certainly going to be girls who are
in that top 2-3% of hedonic impulsiveness. They’re not a big
part of
the population, but they’re a disproportionate number of the women
you’ll meet in bars, at parties, or even who will receive you well
during daytime approaches (more
reserved women, for instance, will be less likely to respond well when
approached by a stranger. Sometimes they’ll receive you well, but the probability any given
hot/sane girl responds well is not as high as the probability a
hot/crazy girl does).
Even if you only do social circle , you’ll still get
suddenly-warmer receptions from the hot/crazy girls in your circle once
you’ve
overhauled your fundamentals enough.
This is where things get interesting.
So, we know that the more beautiful a girl is, the pickier she is.
We also know ( from
a 2008 study ) that the more beautiful a woman is, the pickier she
is on all kinds of dimensions
(not just one or two things):
Yet we also know there is one class of beautiful women who puts an
outsize emphasis on a man’s physical appearance, who also rates men as more physically
attractive too, and who is much more eager to hop into bed (about 15x
more eager, based on that 1999 study): the Hot/Crazy
Girl.
The other stuff beautiful girls are pickier on is not appearance-based. It is game-based , or based on another
more
ephemeral fundamental:
... and so on and so forth. These things that appeal to hot/sane
girls are not things you can show with a few physical alterations to
your look. They come from inside .

Across the board,
researchers find qualities that we can more or less boil down to
‘confidence’ to be the principle attractive qualities to women (e.g.,
the
research on perceived dominance we talked about in my article on looks – to behave
in a dominant way toward others, a man more or less has to be confident
he can do this and look congruent / not get slapped or punched).
If a man is truly confident, everything else about him might be
subpar but he will still be desirable. Conversely, if a man is tall,
handsome, wealthy, and muscular, but very unconfident, most women will
think
something must be very wrong with him and will stay away.
So what do guys upgrade first when they start to work on themselves
in dating?
Well, what I tell guys to focus on first and foremost is
fundamentals. Take care of your fundamentals, and the rest takes care
of itself. What are fundamentals? Well, part of what they are is how
you behave and how
you interact. But beyond that, to a large extent, your fundamentals are
how you look . They are your
physical
attractiveness.
And what you are usually going to find is that a man’s
attractiveness increases first, and his confidence then follows. You’re
not going to keep yourself looking totally the same, yet somehow become
magically more confident. But if you upgrade your presentation, and go
around and talk to women and people, you will discover the reactions
you get improve. At which point your confidence will improve. At which
point the reactions you get will improve more . And the upward spiral begins.
But if fundamentals precede confidence/game in the improvement
department, what’s that mean for your results?
It means the first time you punch out of
your usual looks-depth
(that is, the first super hot girl you get) is likely to be one
available at a ‘lower price’ on the sexual market than the other
beautiful girls.

That leaf isn’t the only thing she’ll be grabbing tonight.

She’ll be a girl impressed by your upgraded looks, who doesn’t care
as much that the rest of you has not yet caught up.

She’s a hot girl, available at bargain prices.
And this girl, as you now know, is very often going to be a girl who
is hot , yet crazy (subjective crazy).

Let’s say you usually date plain-to-cute girls. You’d like to date beautiful girls, but
they’re always cold to you. They’ve never much been interested in you.
So you go out, you talk to girls, sometimes you sleep with a reasonably
cute girl. And it feels good.
Over time, you continue to tweak your game and fundamentals, and you
get a bit better, and a bit more better, and a bit more better.
Eventually you reach the point where you can look at yourself in the
mirror and say, “Damn, I am a lot sexier than I used to be. This
project is paying off.”

But still, you’re not getting those beautiful girls. And to be
honest, you don’t feel like you can
get those beautiful girls. They feel totally out of your reach. They
don’t date guys like you.
Even if you look like a guy they might date now, you know on the
inside you aren’t that guy.
Then, one day, you go out, and catch this gorgeous girl looking at you. You
can tell she’d like to meet you. And man, this girl is hot .
You and her hit it off. She’s great. She’s a lot of fun to talk to,
and you really like this girl. You grab her contact details, and whoa –
actually, she texts you first. Okay, that’s cool.
Fast forward a month and now you’ve had sex with this girl on
four different occasions. She’s converted to a
girlfriend at this point. And you cannot
believe your luck. This girl is gorgeous . She is way hotter than
any girl you’ve ever dated.
Plenty of times now you just look at her and think, “Whoa. How the
heck did I get this ?”
There’s just one problem: this
chick is crazy. She’s impulsive, she’s domineering, you get into
all kinds of fights with her where she’s trying to control you and you
have to put her in her place. You’ve never had a girlfriend behave like
this before. It’s nuts. And then you have some crazy passionate makeup
sex after the big blowup fights. And the cycle repeats all over again a
few days later.

Eventually it just gets too nutty for you. She drives you to nuts
with attempts to control you, or she’s way too jealous, or you catch
her cheating. So you break up with her .
And you start to go out again. You meet other girls. But something’s
different now.
You no longer feel like you “can’t get” girls from her look class
anymore.
I mean – you dated a girl
like this! You had a
beautiful girlfriend! And she loved being with you! Loved the
relationship, loved the drama, loved your sex. It was great.
So when you see other beautiful girls, now you approach them with a
very different sense in your head. You have a sense now of, “I can
probably get this girl. I’ve banged and dated girls as hot as her
before.” It transforms your entire approach to beautiful girls.
You don’t just look the part of a g
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