Horny Teen Girl
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Horny Teen Girl
By Samantha Olson Published: Feb 14, 2022
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We've all heard that saying about feeling butterflies in your stomach, which usually refers to the nerves and excitement that come with having a crush . But what happens when you suddenly feel butterflies in... well, other parts of your body? You probably caught a glimpse of your crush or were catching up on your fave romance novel when intense feelings and tingles began to run through your body. If this is the case, you may be feeling horny, which is a common occurrence once you hit puberty.
This may be a whole new concept for you, and these sexual desires can be exciting and intimidating at first. When the mental and physical cravings for makeout sessions (among other things) start to happen, you may not know where to go from there. Just know that you're not alone — this is a totally normal feeling that most people experience when they hit puberty. Your close friends are probably going through it, too. Ahead, we've broken down what it means to be horny and how to tell if you're feeling it.
Planned Parenthood defines the slang term as "wanting to have sex or being sexually aroused or excited." There are tons of different things that play into feeling horny, whether it's fantasizing about your celeb crush or having your period. It's not just steamy scenes on your favorite shows — your hormones play a role in your horniness, too. A 2013 study in Hormones and Behavior found that changing levels of estrogen and progesterone affect sex drive.
Of course, there are other ways to tell if you're actually feeling horny and we've outlined them below.
If you've found yourself daydreaming of situations where you're making out with a fictional character from that one Netflix show you can't stop binge-watching or even taking things to the next level with a friend, odds are you're feeling horny. When you're going through puberty, your brain is still developing — including the orbitofrontal complex , which processes the images and feelings that come with your newfound sexual desire.
Yep, it's true. If you're having trouble sleeping, it may be an underlying sign that you're horny. Now, that's something they don't typically mention in sex ed. According to WebMD , releasing the sexual tension — be it through masturbation or sex with your partner — actually helps release prolactin, a hormone that makes you feel sleepy.
"[Masturbation has] been linked to helping people fall asleep, so if you're suffering from insomnia, you might want to try it out," Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, the Medical Advisor for The Body Agency , told Seventeen. She also noted that solo sex is worth a shot to relieve yourself of stress and sexual tension.
When you're sexually aroused, it's natural for your body to respond. People with vaginas may feel a tingly sensation and it may feel wetter than usual. According to the National Health Service of England , blood flows to the vaginal walls and perks them up in dilation when you're horny, which is why you may feel these sensations. On the other hand, those with a penis typically feel it harden when they are sexually aroused.
Sam is the editorial assistant at Seventeen, covering pop culture, celebrity news, health, and beauty. When she isn't draping her cheeks in blush, you can probably find her live-tweeting awards shows or making SwiftToks.
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January 27, 2022, 11:16 PM · 10 min read
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If you’ve found your way to this article, you’re probably feeling extra horny lately. Or maybe you always have a high libido and are wondering why.
The first thing we’ll tell you is that people have such a vast range of sex drives that there is no real “normal.” All you can know is what’s normal for you. Some people have zero interest in sex , and that’s totally fine. Others want to have sex several times a week. That’s fine, too.
What’s more, no one’s sex drive is consistent throughout their entire life. You might be extra horny at certain times of the month or at certain points of your life (like right after starting a new relationship). At other times, your libido will dip. All of this is completely natural. “It’s normal for libido to ebb and flow,” Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D ., a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, tells Prevention . “So I think it’s important for people to not get too worried if there are periods when they’re horny and periods when they’re less horny.”
That said, there are still some answers to “why?” Why are you so horny right now? Why are you almost always more horny than your partner or friends?
Dr. Lehmiller likes to think of libido as “bio-psycho-social,” meaning it has biological elements, psychological elements, and social elements. While it’d be almost impossible to list every trigger for higher sex drives, the triggers will almost always come down to one or more of these three elements.
Biological reasons you might be more interested in sex mostly have to do with the level of sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone that are in your body at any given time.
People assigned female at birth (afab) might notice a higher sex drive at certain points during their menstrual cycles. Sex education site The O-School explains that for a lot of people, their sex drive is highest when they’re ovulating (roughly 14 days after their period starts). Although no one has a solid understanding of why, the theories all surround hormones, which we of course know impact our libidos (that’s partly why menopause typically comes with a reduction in sex drive). Interestingly, if you’re on hormonal birth control, which releases a steady level of synthetic hormones all month, you might not experience periodically increased horniness like someone who’s not.
Some people also really enjoy having sex during their period, so they might see a sex drive boost at that time. Similarly, life events like pregnancy and nursing can cause a fluctuation in hormones, making you more or less horny than usual.
People assigned male at birth (amab) might also have higher or lower sex drives depending on hormone levels. Typically, testosterone is highest for cisgender men and people assigned male at birth in early adulthood. Testosterone can drop by one percent every year after 40, according to Harvard Health. As testosterone gets lower, so likely will your sex drive. Some medical conditions and injuries may also impact testosterone production and therefore libido.
Exercise is another reason you might be more horny than others, sexologist Shamyra Howard, L.C.S.W., tells Prevention . “Exercise releases feel-good hormones that increase energy levels,” she says. A 2018 study found that physically fit people experience higher levels of sexual desire, arousal, and orgasms.
Psychology is arguably more powerful to your sex drive than biology. Consider someone saying they’re “not in the mood” for sex. Because sex is extremely intimate, your emotions and stress level often need to be in the right place for you to want sex. “Some people respond to things like stress, anxiety, and depression by having a steep drop off in sexual desire, whereas for other people, those same factors can actually accelerate sexual desire,” Dr. Lehmiller says.
While extreme stress and depression are much more likely to shut down your sex drive than amp it up, some people respond to psychological struggle by wanting more sex. Dr. Lehmiller says the ability for sex drive to go in both directions is one reason it’s important to understand yourself and the ways you respond to stress. It’s possible you use sex as a coping mechanism. There may also be times when you’re feeling “good stress,” also known as “eustress,” Howard says. Good stress might happen when you move to a new home, start a new job, or go on vacation. “Good stress creates excitement and can increase sexual desire,” she says.
Particularly happy times in your life might also lead to a higher sex drive. Sex is often a big way we connect with our partners (which gets into social factors, too). So imagine how horny you might be leading up to your wedding night, when you’re so excited and filled with love. Or how your partner doing something extra romantic can immediately put you in the mood.
Finally, you might experience a heightened sex drive as a result of how things are going in your relationship at the moment. Most people who like sex have experienced the “honeymoon phase” of a new relationship, when you just can’t get enough of each other. It’s natural for you and your partner to have stretches of time when you’re both extra horny and stretches when you’re not as into sex.
“If things are really good, that can amp up your desire,” Dr. Lehmiller says. “But if you’re having a lot of conflict and trouble in the relationship, that can push down desire.”
When thinking about why you’re feeling extra horny, you have to consider all three of these factors from a broad lens, he says. Sometimes one factor is more powerful than another, sometimes two or more factors cancel each other out, and sometimes they align to make you feel super sexy all the time.
Now, if you’re a person who has a baseline high libido, you’ll likely also experience highs and lows, but just generally be in the mood more often than others. Once again, it’s important to know that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. If you’re feeling badly about your high sex drive, those feelings likely come from someone having shamed you.
“I think where problems arise is when people get into relationships where they have very mismatched sex drives,” Dr. Lehmiller says. “We see a lot of blaming and shaming where sometimes the higher desire partner thinks there’s something wrong with the lower desire partner because they don’t want sex, and the lower desire partner sometimes shames and blames the higher desire partner because they think they’re addicted to sex.”
If you and your partner have a big sex drive gap, or are noticing a growing sex drive gap, Dr. Lehmiller says the first step is to try to look for a compromise. Yet, most of us aren’t great at talking out our sexual desires (we were never taught how to!). Instead, we tend to keep our sexual desires and concerns bottled up. If you find yourself struggling to communicate through a desire gap, consider seeing a sex therapist. A therapist can help you break past the shame of struggling with sex and find ways for both of you to get more pleasure.
Dr. Lehmiller often recommends scheduling sex so it happens at a frequency both partners are comfortable with and gives each person opportunity to build up anticipation and excitement. “Often, part of the reason somebody doesn’t have the desire for sex is that they need to essentially have more foreplay to get aroused,” he says. You may want to think of foreplay as something that happens over a span of a few days and amps up from flirting with your partner to more physical touch.
Masturbation, either solo or together, could also be a solution, as can opening-up your relationship. The most important thing to do is communicate. “Where we see things that don’t work out is when people pursue individual solutions and don’t talk about it at all,” Dr. Lehmiller says. When you struggle to communicate at all or communicate well, Howard recommends turning to a sex therapist who can help you manage sexual issue and create sexual experiences that work for your relationship.
You can find sexual happiness in a relationship with a sex drive gap, but you have to talk it through and take action.
Sex addiction is a complicated topic, with many experts disagreeing on whether or not it’s real. But generally, if your sex drive isn’t getting in the way of your life (causing distress or getting you in trouble at work, for example), you’re not a sex addict. You’re just someone who likes sex a lot, and there’s no shame in that.
The “why?” here is a bit complicated, too. There’s isn’t a lot of science that explains why some people have high libidos and some don’t. But Dr. Emily Nagoski gives a great analogy in her book Come As You Are . She describes arousal as a system of gas and brake pedals. If something hits your gas, it turns you on and if something hits your brakes, it turns you off. Some people have very sensitive gas pedals, so they get aroused easily and want sex more often than others.
How sensitive our gas (arousal) pedals and our brake (turn-off) pedals are is highly variable. So much so that you’ll probably never find a couple who have perfectly aligned sex drives.
If you’re looking for ways to lower your libido, Dr. Lehmiller says the first question to ask yourself is “why?”
“Is high libido itself really a problem, or is the issue unresolved shame or the social comparison they’re making?,” he says. Often, people have feelings of shame about sex. A partner or friend may have told you that you want “too much” sex, or you may think your libido is too high because you’re comparing yourself to someone with low libido.
Howard suggests that instead of focusing on your libido, figure out what about your libido bothers you and focus on that. “Often, people who have increased sexual desire seek to lower their libido because they experience symptoms of anxiety, other mental stressors, and/or they engage in unsafe sexual practices,” she says.
If your high libido is causing you distress or making everyday life more difficult, it’s time to seek out a sex therapist who can help you understand if there’s really a problem with your libido, what might be causing it, and how to work through it.
Howard recommends anyone who feels distress about their libido or sex life find a sex therapist. But if you’re not sure that’s the right step for you, some signs that you should seek help include: spending money you don’t have on sexual activities like porn or sex workers, is sex is the main reason you have arguments and conflict in your relationship, and any other negative consequences (like getting fired from your job for a sex-related reason, or losing friends because of your attitude toward sex).
Howard encourages anyone having unwanted or negative consequences due to their libido, or who finds it hard to control sexual urges, to see a sex therapist to “create a plan for what a healthy sexuality looks like for them.”
Your libido and your relationship to your libido is unique, but if you have questions or concerns, a sex therapist is the best person to help.
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Priscilla Fleming became a licensed massage therapist in 2019 to help people. What she didn’t expect was sexual harassment, which she says began almost instantly. “At that point I now had to process this traumatic experience while also navigating a brand new industry that put me alone in a dark room with strangers. So I really contemplated just leaving the industry all together between the vulgar messages and then trying to navigate that. I wasn't sure if it was worth it, but I stuck it out, “ says Fleming. In response, Fleming launched the ethics course, “Safety & Solicitation: Gaslighting and Power Dynamics” to help other therapists recognize threatening behavior from clients. She’s also on a mission to combat harmful stereotypes that plague the massage industry. The dangers facing massage therapists made headlines last month, when NFL quarterback Deshuan Watson was suspended by the Cleveland Browns for 11 games and given a $5 million fine after he was accused of sexual misconduct by 24 massage therapists. Allegations included Watson exposing himself and manipulating therapists into touching him in an inappropriate manner. Two of the women also accused Watson of pressuring them to perform oral sex. While Watson has repeatedly denied the claims, 23 of the 24 civil lawsuits have been settled. In an interview with Sports Radio 610, Watson’s lawyer, Rusty Hardin, claimed that a ‘happy ending’ was not a crime unless extra money was paid for the service. “I feel as though he single handedly put a lot of us at risk to be assaulted,” says Fleming. “The NFL is a very large, well known industry and there is a very large fan base. So by his lawyer making these allegations, I'm afraid that this is going to empower that fan base to come and seek what Dashaun Watson was receiving.” With her ethics course, Fleming spends considerable time educating other therapists about gaslighting and grooming tactics used by predatory clients. Gaslighting involves manipulating someone by sowing self doubt in what they are experiencing, and grooming is a process of seeing how far a predator can push past a person's personal boundaries. Fleming notes that in the therapeutic relationship, the licensed therapist is granted the power to lead the dynamic in a professional setting. She says that when that power dynamic shifts, therapists may find themselves operating in threatening territory.
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