Horny Movie

Horny Movie

These movies f*ck. And also really want to f*ck.

By Film School Rejects · Published on December 2nd, 2019

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Who’s hornier than siblings who fuck? Between this and Game of Thrones , the answer is absolutely no one. In Guillermo del Toro’s criminally underrated Gothic ghost story Crimson Peak , a young woman named Edith Cushing ( Mia Wasikowski ) is betrothed to the utterly enchanting Sir Thomas Sharpe ( Tom Hiddleston ) after her father’s mysterious death, and she unknowingly enters into a love triangle with her new husband and his own sister, Lady Lucille Sharpe ( Jessica Chastain ) set against their Gothic, ghost-invested mansion atop a fittingly blood-red clay mine. Lucille doesn’t like to share her brother with other bitches – nuh-uh, that d*ck stays in the family, and Lucille has it out for the women that Thomas brings home time and time again; until the siblings kill these women and overtake their vast fortunes, of course. Horny for each other and horny for money, as Thomas’s genuine attraction for poor Edith threatens to conflict he and his sister’s nefarious plans, it seems that putting their entire lives horny on main only led to their untimely demise. (Brianna Zigler)
This sci-fi Robert Pattinson vehicle is more George Bataille than ‎André Aciman. In other words, it’s a cruel, violent, cringe-worthy take on erotic storytelling—one with a debauched nature, not a romantic one. Setting a film in a prismatic, sperm-mining space prison careening through the cosmos isn’t the best way to make it onto a naughty list, but Claire Denis doesn’t play by the rules. Her lascivious tale of prisoners-turned-lab-rats is downright fucked up, but the rich, textural film grain, constant mood lighting, and casting of Juliette Binoche as a witchy, jet-black-haired scientist obsessed with semen will do wonders for your libido. And no matter how lecherous it becomes, or how uneasy you feel about the stimulation creeping up your nethers, remember that it was intended. High Life is a film that wants to confuse your loins. Hell, it devotes several minutes to the filming of what Denis has coined the “fuckbox,” a versatile, hi-tech room cube made to pleasure the person inside and clean up afterward. And yeah, Denis knows we don’t need a shot of the dildo penetrating Binoche from the inside, but she also knows it’ll shock us, and no one else will do it. Horny or otherwise, her films are always one of a kind. (Luke Hicks)
At its best, Diary of a Teenage Girl is a clever and honest look at the double-edged sword of a young woman’s sexual agency. M arielle Heller ‘s adaptation of Phoebe Gloeckner ‘s graphic novel makes teen horniness look like a kind of superpower. Minnie ( Bel Powley ) begins an affair with her mother’s boyfriend ( Alexander Skarsgaard ), but quickly grows bored with him as she learns to love her body, own her sexual power, and explore the limits of her inhibitions. Diary of a Teenage Girl isn’t a perfect movie–that punishing third act feels like a cautionary tale we’ve seen way too many times–but its warm and playful approach to teen sexuality winningly flips the script on the stereotypical seducer-or-abuser story while still ultimately treating its subject with care. (Valerie Ettenhofer)
As fate would have it, nothing fucks harder than positive vibes. And Magic Mike XXL is chock full of unabashed positivity and gleefull horniness. There’s the surface level horniness that comes from watching Mike (Channing Tatum) and his well-sculpted stripping compatriots do what they do best under neon lights (the horniest of all lights). But there’s also a deeper form of horniness on display: the fact that the film is practically screaming from a rooftop about how good it is to make other people feel good. Magic Mike XXL is a film about finding your groove and utilizing said groove to help others. Sometimes that help is listening to people when they have something to say, sometimes it’s giving a stranger a hand when they need it most, and, yes, sometimes it’s a beautifully choreographed lapdance. The point is to find joy in a world that can otherwise be cold and impersonal. There’s nothing hornier than a movie with a great big heart. (Anna Swanson)
Park Chan-wook’s adaptation of Sarah Waters’ novel Fingersmith is at once an achingly tender love story and a sleekly twisted Hitchcockian thriller. If you were online around the time of it’s release, though, you’d be forgiven for only remembering the thing that everyone talked about: the sex. In terms of kink, The Handmaiden is a bit like the Pornhub category list; it’s got some things you’ll like, some things that’ll make you uncomfortable, and some things you may not have even heard of. Ben-wa balls, self-asphyxiation, and a nefarious offscreen octopus are just a few of the unexpected elements that tie together the film’s psychosexual and erotic sides. But it’s much more than the sum of its kinks: together, Lady Hideko (Kim Min-Lee) and Soo-kee (Kim Tae-ri) are a perfect mix of innocence and elegance, of anxiety and security. Several scenes follow the plotlines of the erotica Hideko reads, but the most overwhelmingly sensual moments go off book, as when Soo-kee sands down her lady’s sharp tooth in the bathtub. Don’t let anything you’ve heard about The Handmaiden keep you from seeing it; despite the men directing this romance from both behind the camera and in front, this lesbian epic belongs to the women who anchor it. (Valerie Ettenhofer)
Imagine if thirty people in your vicinity wanted to kill you and fuck you at the same time: that’s Gaspar Noe’s Climax . When an already incredibly horny dance troupe is lured to an empty, possibly witchcraft-adjacent school, some sangria spiked with LSD turns their dance rehearsal turns into an erotic, drug-fueled nightmare that descends into a mess of blood and perversion nearly beyond comprehension. The film is a constant push-me, pull-me between revulsion and arousal, between eroticism and nausea – one could even say the two opposites end up complementing one another, as acts of horror run parallel to acts of pleasure. The film is as if a wet dream and a fever dream held hands and did cocaine, less of a structured narrative and more of a test of one’s willingness to witness a total deterioration of humanity in real time. If you’re horny for horrible things, you’ll probably love Climax. And even if you’re horny for normal things, you still might like Climax . There’s truly something for everyone in there. (Brianna Zigler)
Horny movies are like a charcuterie board: there’s a wide variety of tastes, some that are expected, others that might surprise you. One that surprises, courtesy of Lars von Trier , is the “I don’t know if I like this but it’s weird and I’m intrigued” type of horny movie. Nymphomaniac (or, more precisely, the very good Nymphomaniac: Vol. I and the absolutely fantastic Nymphomaniac: Vol. II ) chronicles Joe’s ( Charlotte Gainsbourg ) sexual exploits from adolescence to adulthood. Sometimes her escapades are devilishly enjoyable, other times rather dire. Either way, she be fuckin’. A lot. Joe dips her toe into every type of sexual (mis)adventure imaginable and von Trier takes us right along with her. The film and its protagonist have a penchant for pushing boundaries and even the most seasoned veteran of NC-17 fun will find something here that jolts them. Anyway, the moral of the story is that you should definitely watch Nymphomaniac on a plane. Just trust me on that one. (Anna Swanson)
Okay, so it didn’t quite make the top spot, but Guillermo del Toro’s fairytale-like reimagining of The Creature from the Black Lagoon as an interspecies romance is hands down the horniest Best Picture winner of all time, so there’s that. I mean, it’s a movie about a woman who wants to bang a fish-man. Fish-god? Point is, it’s worth noting that the Amphibian Man definitely does not have your standard parts down below, and Elisa ( Sally Hawkins ) really wants to open up that mystery box. So much so that she risks life and limb to break him out of a super-secret military research facility run by the menacing Colonel Strickland ( Michael Shannon ) to keep him in one sexually-functional piece. There is no menacing more menacing than menacing Michael Shannon. Willingly making an enemy of him is like going to war against a demon. It is not something you do if you are being logical and making decisions with your head. Oh no, these are the sort of choices you make using different, lower parts of your anatomy. And if you’re the sort of sweet, pure soul who read that last sentence and thought I was suggesting she made these decisions with her heart… sure, her “heart.” Let’s go with that. Anyway, the OG Creature from the Black Lagoon was a seriously horny dude, and the entire existence of The Shape of Water seems to rooted in GDT asking “ but what if a woman was horny back ? ” and that is a powerful act of cinematic horniness right there. (Ciara Wardlow)
How horny do you have to be to not only poison the love of your life, but to want to be poisoned by them in turn? Truly couple goals of the century. Paul Thomas Anderson ’s lustful lil period drama is number 1 on this list simply because it defies all expectations of horniness. The film is the cinematic equivalent of edging – like fucking yourself until you’re on the cusp of climax but forcing yourself to stop, doing this over and over so that the eventual orgasm you have is especially pleasurable. The film is restrained, sensible but entirely repressed and positively throbbing with pent-up sexual energy, released at the end of the film when two ever-embittered lovers Reynolds Woodcock ( Daniel Day-Lewis ) and Alma Elson ( Vicky Krieps ) discover their constant cycle of affection and distaste for one another can be sated by indulging in an act of masochism. The bourgeois sensibilities of 1950s London – given immense delicacy and care by Anderson’s filmmaking – find themselves at odds with Alma and Reynolds’ sexual perversions, making the whole thing even more delightful. It makes it feel ok to indulge in the couples’ masochistic tendencies – like a veneer coating covering up a base layer of grime.
There’s a scene in which Reynolds peeps at Alma wearing one of his dresses through a keyhole, a seemingly innocent act, and that’s what the entire film ends up being like. A perverse act of voyeurism glittered up in beautiful wrapping to shelter the deviance underneath it. The most fucked-up things are the ones that don’t appear fucked-up at all on the surface, and the kinkiness at the heart of the prim and proper Phantom Thread makes it a masterful horny film for the ages. (Brianna Zigler)

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Justin Kirkland
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Justin Kirkland is a Brooklyn-based writer focusing on television, pop culture, food, and the South; he is from East Tennessee.

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From Oscar winners to comedy romps, these films explore the range of cinematic sexuality.
Sex is at the core of a lot the greatest movies ever made . It is the most natural of human fascinations—a biological need we spend our lifetimes trying to understand and perfect, which explains why it makes for great drama and great comedy .
The art of seduction is not unlike that of film. What is left to the imagination is often what viewers end up wanting to see the most. Whether it’s just out of frame or just out of touch, a healthy dose of yearning can edge us toward the gratifying moment of passion, even if it never ends up being shown. A tender close-up would otherwise be anti-climactic if not for its initial absence.
Here, we celebrate the sexiest movies of all time—the films where sensuality, romance, attraction, and the need for physical touch are driving forces in the narrative. Whether it’s in sophomoric explorations, gut-wrenching unspoken tensions, or the simple deed itself, sex and film have been entangled together as far back as the medium has existed. These are the best movies about lust, love, and everything in between.
Nothing like a bit of art mixed with horror and satire to get the blood pumping. Velvet Buzzsaw stars Jake Gyllenhaal in an oddly steamy film (seriously, the sex appeal in the film makes no sense, but it is there ) about a supernatural force that comes for those in the art world whose desire for more has overtaken their appreciation of art.
People don't give Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike the credit it deserves. Following an adult entertainer who takes a newcomer under his wing, the film is the definition of sex appeal, with a buffet of sexy scenes and dance sequences. But what makes it a great is that its plot is pretty solid, as well... a rarity in a film with this much steam.
The Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer Italian-set summer romance about a teenage boy who falls in love with his father's apprentice is absolutely electric. Awkward at times, it perfectly captures the excitement and longing of wanting to be with someone despite having no idea what you're doing.
Based on a true story, this 2019 crime drama stars Constance Wu, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Stiles, Keke Palmer, Lili Reinhart, Lizzo, and Cardi B as a group of New York strippers who rob rich Wall Street douchebags after drugging them during a night out.
Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone star as Queen Anne, Sarah Duchess of Marlborough, and Abigail Masham in Yorgos Lanthimos's incredible 2018 dark period comedy. The film follows the love triangle and political power jockeying between Sarah and Abigail as they fight for the queen's love and attention. All three leads were nominated for acting Academy Awards, with Colman winning for Best Actress.
One of the most critically acclaimed movies of the last few years, Portrait of a Lady on Fire follows the artistic love affair between Héloïse and Marianne on the coast of Brittany in the 1770s.
Taron Egerton won a Golden Globe award for his portrayal of Elton John in this 2019 biopic musical. The film focuses on John's fight for sobriety after a career marked by hard partying and substance abuse. The film has also been praised by Esquire for its realistic depiction of a gay sex scene .
Shot in sensual black and white, Sam Levinson's ( Euphoria ) Malcolm & Marie stars John David Washington and Zendaya as a young couple whose relationship is challenged on the night of his latest movie premiere .
From acclaimed director Park Chan-wook, The Handmaiden is a period drama set in colonial Korea and Japan. Based on Sarah Waters’s novel, Fingersmith , The Handmaiden tells the story of two women, one Japanese heiress and one Korean woman. The two have come to serve her, but they fall into a deeply lustful rendezvous. The heated relationship is dialed up even further, however, by an underlying crime: the relationship is a scam to seduce the heiress into losing her inheritance.
Think: Dirty Booksmart . Aubrey Plaza stars as a high school valedictorian determined to cross off her “to-do list” of sexual acts in the summer before she enters college. With supporting performances from Bill Hader, Alia Shawkat, Johnny Simmons, and Sarah Steele, this hilariously candid exploration captures the naive energy of an Urban Dictionary dive gone too far.
When you feel it, you feel it. And, for a Guillermo del Toro protagonist, sometimes that means feeling it for an amphibious humanoid stuck inside of the high-security government laboratory where you work. Both a tender love story and a sci-fi feat, The Shape of Water shows that love heeds no bounds or glass enclosures. It also shows just how important a bathtub can be for a single person on the go.
Robert Eggers’s analysis of two stranded lightkeepers, played by Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe, isolated on a remote island together for two weeks is as bizarre as it is strangely horny. Along with a marathon of ebbing homoerotic tension, the film features an infamous scene between Pattinson and a mermaid figurine. The product is visceral, unnerving, and subtly sexual.
While its themes span much further than sexual exploration, 2016 Best Picture winner Moonlight provides a beautifully dynamic presentation of its protagonist’s sexuality. Following the life of Chiron, a young, queer Black man growing up in Miami, the film’s sensual cinematography and weighted tones of latent sexual expression paint a vivid and complex exploration of identity. Its masterful sex scene is one to be studied by filmmakers for years to come, as it balances subtlety with poignancy, and withholding with release.
If there were ever an adolescent movie that captured the painfully hilarious stereotypes of being a horny teen, Wet Hot American Summer is top of the list. It’s the perfect parody of a coming of age movie, keeping with the clichés of barely dressed women emerging from a body of water, awkward first times, and a feathered-haired Amy Poehler. That last part is kind of niche to this film, but important nonetheless.
When Dane Cook is in a movie, it’s best to temper expectations. Nevertheless, the tale about a guy who seems to be a good luck charm for women unlucky in love is surprisingly sweet. Granted, the premise is that any time Dane Cook sleeps with a woman, she soon after gets married. There are a lot of weddings in the film, so… you do the math.
Booksmart elevates the horny coming of age genre with a bit more of a thoughtful spin on leaving high school and your best friends behind. Make no mistake though, it doesn’t miss the opportunity to lean into one universal teenage truth—always thinking about sex. One of the best scenes involves a van, a principal, a porn, and a cringeworthy phone volume issue that is all too relatable.
Two roommates—played by Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen—get in some financial shit, so they try to make some money in the adult film biz. Stay away if you’re not ready to let Star Whores ruin your childhood.
Before a movie about nerds and numbers became our favorite baseball flick, there was Bull Durham —where Kevin Costner’s Crash Davis and Susan Sarandon’s Annie Savoy find themselves doing the only thing that could make minor league baseball interesting.
Two star-crossed ballers try to make a relationship work amidst coach-enforced curfews and the beckoning of D-1 basketball. Featuring what’s probably the only one-on-one game of strip mini-hoops depicted in the history of the moving image.
Stanley Kubrick’s final film stars Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in an adaptation of a modernist Austria
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