Homemade Jerk Off

Homemade Jerk Off

It’s Called the Music and Arts Festival for a Reason

Dylan Efron Takes Us On An Adventure

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You don't need to be broke to want to bang stuff found around your pad. If you're a dude all you need is a healthy dose of testosterone and curiosity – and maybe some lube. The men who saw the movie “American Pie” and later then went home to bang one for real are the types who are willing to experiment with pretty much anything into which their dicks can fit.
As I'm sure many of you guys have already discovered, that means the majority of the contents of your refrigerator, cabinets and most of your personal belongings can be masturbatory tools. Depending on whether you like to “give” or “receive,” the list below is for the penetrators of the residence.
BUT FIRST: Two pieces of advice. 1) Put a condom on your cock (or on any object you are introducing to your anus) before engaging in recreation; and 2) Make sure you properly disinfect all accessories and areas of frolic before – and AFTER – use.
And ladies – want to know how to find your own homemade sex toys? Check out this list for some sexy suggestions.
Peel it and remove the fruit or cut the tip off and squirt the inside out, then rinse the rind with warm water and fill it with lube. Wrap the sections around your member, or shove your load into the hole, and pump. Prior to playtime you can put the skin in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up, just be careful not to leave it in too long and burn yourself.
2. Pillows. Stack them on top of each other or side-by-side and fluff. Lie on top and go to town. You also can use just one; mold it around your penis and thrust against it. Standing in the living room, rest your wiener behind the couch cushion that leans against the backside of the sofa, or you can kneel and slip it under the seat pad. Crammed in between, you control the resistance as you press into the tight crevice.
She figured it out. What took you so long?
Plush carpet, sheets gathered, or blankets piled up in a ball are all totally fuck-able. You can use any sock sleeve as a cum-receptacle, or when you're in the shower hang a hot wet towel around your wanker to cocoon it in moist warm weight.
4. Tissue, Paper Towel, or Wrapping Paper Rolls. Choose the style that fits your manhood and then put a condom, latex glove, or other protective sheath – filled with lube! – inside the tube. Flip the open end over the top and secure with a rubber band or tape so it stays in place. You can hold the cylinder in your hand or wedge it between your mattresses or your couch.
All of this junk can feel great on your junk.
Cock-condiments are more pleasurable when warmed slightly in the microwave; but make sure you test the temperature first before putting your prick into anything hot.
Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other. Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw the squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob.
Select a jar and fill it with stewed tomatoes, Spaghetti O's, mac-n-cheese, cottage cheese, oatmeal or peanut butter. Cover the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, cut a hole and you're ready to go.
You can also turn your salami into a sandwich by slapping it between two pieces of bread, bologna, chicken breast, chicken skin, lamb kebob, spam, liver, lox, or steak. Grab your meal two-fisted, squeeze and squirt.
6. Plastic Baggie. Pick your size (from snack to storage), fill it with Crisco, Vaseline, Jell-O or banana pulp, and then stuff it with your meat. Hold the package in your preferred hand or cram everything under a cushion, then pleasure yourself to completion.
7. Rubber Gloves. When you want to feel like someone else is giving you the greatest reach-around of your life, don a latex sheath on your own hand before whacking off. Use your favorite lubricant unless you're into medical fetishes, or the sensation of being examined at the doctor's office.
Hey lady, lend him a little mouth lube would ya?
• Saliva is often a guy's No. 1 go-to for free natural lubrication. Other popular alternatives that can found around the home are Vaseline, Vitamin E, Crisco, lard, butter, body lotion, vegetable/corn/olive/mineral/or baby oil.
• Never use soap, shampoo, conditioner or shaving cream, as these can cause a burning feeling in the urethra. If you do it anyway, beware that peeing and ejaculating may be painful for several days, but the stinging will subside.
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By jpking9028 | 63 posts, last post 2 months ago

Kate Smith
answered this
Home-Made Sex Toys: What You Need To Know If You Don't Want To End Up In The ER

I am kinda bored with the same old same old basic jack off technique and i am not over 18 yet i am 16 and i want to enjoy the feeling ...as if i had a toy are there any ways to make a jack off toy homemade that i can make my self and feel good too.

Putting ur Penis anywhere near the suction of a vacuum is asking 4 problems!! U can be severely injured even permanently damage the ability to have an erection. And masterbating into a metal tube dosent even sound like fun. Having my penis rubbing against a rough dirty hard surface is abought as far away from what sex feels like as I can think of. There isn't any part of a woman that's anything close to what a vacuum would feel like. If ur willing to risk never being able to make love to person to see what being in a hard cold tube with enough suction to pull ur insides outside go for it. Just don't plan on having any physical relationship with anyone.

In reply to anonymous on 2013-04-10 - click to read

Put 2sponges in a cup and put lubi inside and hmp away

Pop a balloon get a brush wrap the balloon around the brush and put it in ure vagina make sure the balloon is clean and put lubi or lotion on it

Take something like a tortilla and put butter on it. Warm in microwave for about 7 seconds take out wrap into burrito with one side open and jack off. It's great

Cut the end off of a banana then take all of the banana out of the rest of the peel without braking the peel then microwave for 5-10 seconds

In reply to anonymous on 2014-04-18 - click to read

i like to jackoff in condom cum four or five times save it and use it for lube with cucumber

Go to your fridge and get a V-8 (or similar) plastic bottle. The inside of the neck is super smooth and just fits my slightly fat penis. Use plenty of lube and slip it on. Then squeeze the bottle and release the squeeze. This will temporarily compress the sides and force some air out of the bottle past your penis. When you release the squeeze the bottle returns to normal shape and creates a vacuum. This vacuum will produce an instant hard-on as big as you can get. Stroke the bottle on your penis and it is like f*****g a grasping p***y. It really works! I have tried many things and this is by far the winner. And you can see your big swollen penis and watch it cum. The cum shoots out with unusual force and sensation because of the vacuum.

In reply to dpccap58299066 on 2013-08-06 - click to read

I like to go in the bathtub and just soak my scrotum leaving the water kinda shallow get a toilet paper roll, lube it up and jerk away

is it weird that after I Jack u pee .

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