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Text Copyright © 2001 - 2022, Tony Cooke

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An old missionary couple had been working in Africa for years, and they were returning to New York City to retire. They had no pension; their health was broken; they were defeated, discouraged, and afraid. They discovered they were booked on the same ship as President Teddy Roosevelt, who was returning from one of his big-game hunting expeditions.
No one paid much attention to them. They watched the fanfare that accompanied the President’s entourage, with passengers trying to catch a glimpse of the great man.
As the ship moved across the ocean, the old missionary said to his wife, “Something is wrong. Why should we have given our lives in faithful service for God in Africa all these many years and have no one care a thing about us? Here this man comes back from a hunting trip and everybody makes much over him, but nobody gives two hoots about us.”
“Dear, you shouldn’t feel that way,” his wife said.
“I can’t help it; it doesn’t seem right.”
When the ship docked in New York, a band was waiting to greet the President. The mayor and other dignitaries were there. The papers were full of the President’s arrival, but no one noticed this missionary couple. They slipped off the ship and found a cheap flat on the East side, hoping the next day to see what they could do to make a living in the city.
That night, the man’s spirit broke. He said to his wife, “I can’t take this; God is not treating us fairly.”
His wife replied, “Why don’t you go into the bedroom and tell that to the Lord?”
A short time later he came out from the bedroom, but now his face was completely different. His wife asked, “Dear, what happened?”
“The Lord settled it with me,” he said. “I told him how bitter I was that the President should receive this tremendous homecoming, when no one met us as we returned home. And when I finished, it seemed as though the Lord put his hand on my shoulder and simply said, ‘But you’re not home yet!’”
From Talking To My Father , by Ray Stedman. Barbour & Co. 1997.
Tony Cooke Ministries
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Copyright 2022 © Intimacy in Marriage
Some wives and I were chatting about sex positions and came to the conclusion that there are about 5 that most of us can do.
Any positions beyond those are probably best tried and mastered by Cross Fit gurus or American Ninja Warriors. (Of which I am neither. Insert sad face here).
Just for clarification, I’m talking about sexual intercourse positions.
Certainly a lot of sexual fun can be had without intercourse. For the love of God, I hope all your sex isn’t only intercourse.
Oh yeah. Talking about sex positions for everyone except Cross Fit people and American Ninja Warriors.
If you and your husband have kept your sexual encounters to only one or maybe two positions, you might want to broaden the repertoire.
One of my most popular posts when I first started blogging was Hey I’m a Housewife, Not a Gymnast. And I also did a guest post for Stu and Lisa Gray titled I Think the Proverbs 31 Wife Liked Being on Top.
Even though I’ve written about positions before, certainly it’s worth visiting again. You might even be inspired by the end of this post to try something new tonight.
Everyone knows this position. I don’t need to explain it. Has some great pros — it’s one of the easiest to do and there is face-to-face intimacy that can be incredibly bonding.
Probably the biggest con is for some couples it can be one of the worst positions for the wife to climax .
If you as a wife are having struggles reaching orgasm with missionary position, I have a few suggestions. Have your husband move forward so that the shaft of his penis is in more direct contact with your clitoris.
This will put his chest more at your face level, but the difference in stimulation can be significant. The fancy name for this is coital alignment technique (CAT) and you can read a great post about it here .
If you aren’t doing CAT, but want more stimulation, don’t rule out simultaneously using your hand to stimulate your clitoris while he is thrusting.
This can help get you close to the edge enough that then his thrusting will bring you to climax. The nice bonus is your hand and fingertips will rub up against his penis, which he may find heightens his arousal.
Again, this one is pretty self explanatory and obviously has the two same pros that you find with missionary (easy to do and lots of opportunity for eye contact, kissing, etc.).
It also has some pros that I think honestly make it a BETTER position than missionary.
For starters, the wife is in control, which some guys (and some wives) find incredibly arousing. Also, she is able to better manage the stimulation of her clitoris and G-spot because she is able to control the rate of thrusting, the angle, etc.
And last but not least, it’s quite the visual feast for the husband (wives, you can really work this quite seductively, which will likely drive him wild).
Bonus for both the husband and the wife is that his hands are free for more caressing of her breasts, hips, face, arms, etc.
Some husbands really like this position too because it shares the burden of the physical exertion necessary during sex. Wives, if you only make love in missionary position, your husband is doing almost all of the work. Wouldn’t it be nice to share the workload… uh, I mean, playload ?
Basically, wife is on top but she turns around so her back is to her husband.
This one can be a little difficult to manage at first, but once you get the logistics figured out, this position can be incredible. It’s a different sensation for both of you and allows your husband to get a really clear visual of all the action.
Sadly, many wives won’t even consider intercourse where their husband enters her vagina from behind.
Some women find it degrading (Let’s be honest, the slang name of “doggy style” doesn’t exactly earn it any PR points).
Other wives are hesitant to try it because they think it will be too cumbersome to figure out.
With a bit of trial and error, many couples can find the right angle and approach to make this position work well. And when they do make it work well, some women are pleasantly surprised at how arousing it can be.
The obvious arousal is that it stimulates the G-spot. The not-so-obvious arousal some wives discover is it feels provocatively enticing to have her husband physically in charge.
It’s unfortunate this position gets such a bad rap, because it could be rocking the sexual world of more married couples. If only they would give it a try.
Many people would have thought fifth in my lineup would be the “side” position, where the couple is laying on the bed side by side — either facing each other or the husband behind the wife.
But I think the side position is challenging, because neither the husband nor the wife has tremendous mobility to thrust in this position.
Anyway, I’m not a fan of the side position.
I AM a fan of the wife on top with the couple in a sitting position. Take extra pillows and prop them behind him sitting up in bed.
In this position, the wife is supporting her weight entirely with her knees and is able to do so with quite a bit of stability.
That stability and being upright leaves her hands free for countless other ways to arouse him and caress him.
You also can put your hands on the wall or headboard for more leverage, which he may find totally hot.
So, there you have it. Sexual positions for those of us who are not Cross Fit gurus or American Ninja Warriors.
Copyright 2015, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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What position would you suggest for a wife who is very tight/has vaginismus?
@Amy… I would think wife on top would be the best because the wife can control the depth of penetration and rate of thrusting.
I also would recommend the use of lubricants and lots of foreplay.
And any wife who is concerned about tightness and pain that doesn’t seem to lessen with more foreplay, use of lubricants and more sex, should definitely talk to her gynecologist about her concerns and explore any specific treatments for vaginismus.
Very good post and reminder that when I get back from hunting this am with my daughter I will be suggesting to my wife that we do the reverse cowgirl again as seeing the action really is the most arousing position visually, I can imagine! Would not want it all the time for sure but for its raw sexiness it cannot be beat.
For Amy I would recommend a warm fresh lube that you make yourself that is about ten times slipprier than any boughten lube and much healthier and has the advantage loosening and nourishing the muscle that will not let go. We use this for longer sessions and trying new stuff. Take a rounded tablespoon of organic flaxseed and boil in a small sauce pan with a 2 cups of water for 20 minutes then separate out the seeds and cool to comply temp and use liberally on the head of his penis, get on top and gently insert. Fine ways to incorporate flax seeds into your diet as well. Has many healthy advantages. If you are tight this will help. For some it might reduce the friction to much but for me slippery is sexy and fun. After you made it a time or two it will be a cinch. It keeps about two weeks so do not make to much once. It is very cheap but the best in protecting organs from overheating. It is carry durable and of course water based. I am assuming you tried coconut oil already as that is good also but not near as slippery!
I really miss the closeness of missionary. We are no longer able to do this position due to our physical limitations. Not so much strength, but my wife’s belly has grown and I am of average ‘length’ (just being honest). If I lean down to kiss/hold her, we cannot maintain contact. And deep thrusting is impossible. Any kind of modified missionary just can’t replace what I miss, being able to wrap my arms around her and her being able to wrap her legs around me. I’ve read your pregnancy posts trying to get ideas, but to no success. Any thoughts?
Add this as well, due to the weight issues and the knee pain caused by it, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and sitting are all out as well. (Even when she was younger/slimmer/stronger/healthier, those weren’t on the menu anyway.) From behind is (relatively) common for us, but also lacks the intimacy I desire. So much for the ‘positions for the rest of us’. Sorry to be a downer, but that is my reality.
great list, thank you.
for me number 6 (another position that doesn’t require any flexibility at all) is wife lying on her stomach flat and husband lying on top of her penetrating from behind. it is great because of the full body contact and the strong g-spot stimulation, and the hubby will love it for the tightness.
I laugh because so many of the positions you read about are completely impossible…people just don’t bend that way. Although,I think side in front and side from behind can be good for some people. It really depends on body shape sometimes.
In my opinion there is only intimacy with traditional missionary position. Hubby just needs to spend some time on foreplay. I don’t like any other position. I’m the wife.
Variant of the “missionary” pillows underneath her with her legs over husbands shoulders or around waist. (Being vulnerable her) but until we discovered this one my beloved was “non orgasamic” Thank God for His amazing love and providence!
There’s also the “Jockey” position , which is another rear-entry position. The wife lays down on her stomach, possibly with a pillow under her hips for positioning; the husband lays on top of her and enters from behind. Jockey could be considered its own position rather than a variation on doggy style, but it’s part of the same family. Penetration won’t be nearly as deep as with standard doggy style, but there’s a ton of skin-to-skin contact which feels awesome, and lots of tightness if the wife keeps her legs together.
What about a couple who have to deal with a significant bend in the penis even when erect and a retroverted—or tilted—uterus?? Thrusting from certain positions really hurts! Even after kids!
For the couple with weight, try straddle side entry. From missionary position, roll the female to one side and straddle the leg that is against the mattress. Support the other leg in the air with your arm. The penis is sideways in the vagina, giving a new sensation. The male can move the female by the leg to get different degrees of penetration by rolling her more to tummy or more to side. Penetration is deep, and provides a huge climax for the male, as he gets additional stimulation from the scrotum being on the straddled leg. If you can’t get comfortable facing one way, try the other way. For us, we can only do this with the female on the right side. Additionally, the male is in an on the knees upright position, so he can add additional clitoral or anal stimulation with his hands. Enjoy!
My husband and I want to try new things and even talked about purchasing a book on different positions. I just don’t want to buy something that is a little too graphic. Is there a book that you recommend? These articles are very insightful and I’ll sharing with my husband..lol we’ve been married over 16 years and just now started communicating about what each of us want from the other.
@Tracy… There are a number of books that may be helpful:
Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage (by Jeff Murphy and Julie Sibert)
The Sexually-Confident Wife by Shannon Ethridge
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire
Crazy Good Sex: Putting to bed the Myths Men Have About Sex by Dr. Les Parrott
After a few health scares for both of us, we went and continue to be on a clean eating/healthy diet! We both lost 25 pounds and our sex have has improved immensely! We both enjoy “doggie style” after much hugging…kissing…etc. My dear wife also likes a foot massage before activities begin!!! The only difference is that I have retrograde ejaculation following TURP (prostate) surgery for enlarged prostate..no cancer). Like the doctor told my wife prior to surgery everything will be the same…except she said sex would be less messy for her as she slapped her on the knee!!!
I was limited to only one sex position nothing more. It was so boring that after awhile I just gave up. I tryed to explain that changing once in awhile would be welcome. That fell on deaf ears, she only wanted missionary and I couldn’t cum in her, even though she was on the pill. Like I said I just gave up didn’t ask more and turned into a monk
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