Home Real Swingers

Home Real Swingers
Allow microphone access to enable voice search
For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
Side sleeper? Back sleeper? No sweat — these top-rated bedfellows work in every position.
The "Friends" star is picking up some new skills thanks to boyfriend Johnny McDaid.
I was all set for my trip, or so I thought. That's when my friend told me to place a crayon in my wallet when traveling. The reason is quite clever.
Enjoy major savings on a Ring doorbell, a 65-inch Fire TV, a mega-popular Wi-Fi extender and more.
This supersize set will give you a sun-kissed look without the UV damage.
L'oreal, CeraVe, Neutrogena and more: These popular go-to products are no-brainer buys — see what all the hype is about.
You’ll Never Believe What It Grew Into...
Have yourself a squeaky clean autumn with epic deals like a Dyson upright for nearly 40% off.
It’s the shopping event we’ve been waiting for all summer, and it’s finally here: Tons of appliances are massively discounted!
Hall says the key to good macaroni and cheese is "a couple of different cheeses."
Collector’s Items That Aren’t Worth Keeping
Get amazing hidden deals from couch-organizing solutions to vacation-saving gadgets.
Give your back a break with Sleep Number, Casper, Bear and more.
Don't miss your chance to save a bundle on this all-in-one cleaner.
Only 180ft but this house is something incredible on the inside
Save up to $370 on a range of No. 1 bestsellers and must-haves.
This powerful guy will suck it all up — take it from more than 125,000 shoppers.
The "Riverdale" star has long spoken out about the pressure for women in Hollywood to conform to an unrealistic, idealized body type.
Learn to speak, read, and write Thai and Thai script with our easy and fun online course. Nine years of experience teaching individuals and groups.
More than 4,700 Amazon shoppers swear these are better than the $100+ pairs.
Make every square inch of space count with these clever Bed Bath & Beyond buys from Casper and more.
Wake up and smell the coffee! All these machines make great cups of joe — and they start at just $34.
Get in on the end-of-summer bounty with amazing deals on top brands — from just $16!
Amazon's top-seller is quite the smooth operator: 'The wheels spin and move like butter on a hot pan!'
Powerful, attractive and compact, at a price you won't find anywhere else!

If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device.
Videos you watch may be added to the TV's watch history and influence TV recommendations. To avoid this, cancel and sign in to YouTube on your computer.
Welcome to TLC UK

TLC exclusively premieres hit shows from the US, alongside a host of original UK series featuring well known stars. Filled with remarkable stories and memorable real life characters, this is TV to talk about!

🇬🇧 Catch full episodes of your favourite TLC shows on discovery+: https://www.discoveryplus.co.uk/channel/tlc

14 Year Old Looks for a Husband at Her Halloween Party | Gypsy Brides US
Controlling Mum Pressures Son To Take A Paternity Test | I Love A Mama's Boy
An error occurred while retrieving sharing information. Please try again later.
*New* OutDaughtered | Monday 24th July by tlc uk 459,551 views
0:03 / 7:48 • Watch full video Live
Watch ads now so you can enjoy fewer interruptions

This website no longer supports Internet Explorer, which is now an outdated browser. For the best experience and your security, please visit
us using a different browser.

captions settings , opens captions settings dialog captions off , selected English Captions
Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque
Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps
Reset restore all settings to the default values Done

Filed under

sex

sex and relationships

swingers

swinging

8/2/22

This story has been shared 175,639 times.
175,639

This story has been shared 126,183 times.
126,183

This story has been shared 108,996 times.
108,996

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

LinkedIn

Email

YouTube

Thanks for contacting us. We've received your submission.
Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window.
This is a modal window. This modal can be closed by pressing the Escape key or activating the close button.
This is a modal window. This modal can be closed by pressing the Escape key or activating the close button.
My wife *Rachel and I have an incredibly strong, committed relationship. We are open with each other, communicate effectively and are completely transparent with what we do and what we want.
I always like to make that clear whenever I share this experience with anyone because I have had many people raise an eyebrow (or two).
Actually, I have had many people react quite intensely when they hear this, mostly I think because they just don’t understand, and because of society really molding them into believing there is really only one ‘right’ way of doing things.
In saying all of this, I also don’t share this experience with many, partly to do with previous reactions but also because it is about the intimate nature of my and Rachel’s relationship.
Rachel and I have always had a very strong intimate and physical connection. Despite this, her sex drive and her desires are stronger and more adventurous than mine. For years we were quite happy to fulfill these between the two of us, but about a year ago Rachel shared with me her wish to attend a swingers party.
Rachel didn’t want an open relationship, but she did want to experience having sex with other people, and initially, she’d hoped that I would also join her in this. For me though, it just wasn’t something I had any desire to do, and the thought of doing it made me feel uncomfortable.
I didn’t have an issue with Rachel taking part in one though. In fact, I knew the right person for her to have the experience with, someone who I could feel confident would look after her.
This person was my brother, *Mike. He, like Rachel also was interested in swinging and I knew he had been regularly attending parties and events when he was in his last long-term relationship before Covid-19 hit.
After I spoke with Rachel about the idea, I chatted with Mike. He wasn’t just OK with it; he was excited about getting back into swinging which he hadn’t been able to do while single.
To be clear, the idea was for them to attend these parties as a faux couple in order to gain access because you can’t if you are single. Neither had any wish to have sex with each other, but rather swap with other couples and individuals when they were there.
For me, this guaranteed safety for Rachel because I knew Mike would watch out for her, and for me, this was my greatest concern.
The first party they attended, they both got ready at our place. We all had a couple of drinks together and then they left together in a taxi.
Rachel got home about 2 am. I woke up when she came into our room and she told me about the entire evening.
When Mike and Rachel arrived at the location, they mingled with other couples for a while, and then Mike hit it off with one woman and Rachel with a different couple. They both went off to separate rooms and had sex with the people they had met and then they all shared drinks again and talked afterwards.
Since that first evening, Mike and Rachel have been to another two swinger events. Each time it has been different, but they have always been positive.
There have been occasions where they have seen each other having sex with other people, or without clothes on. While I’d prefer this didn’t happen it is really only a minor downside to the arrangement, and it doesn’t bother me that much because they aren’t attracted to one another.
I have told a few good friends about the arrangement and so far, no one has really fully understood. In fact, the first person I told – my best friend – he looked at me almost as if he was disgusted. He asked whether I thought it crossed the line but as I said to him if they had sex yeah, of course, it would but they are each other chaperones and that is all it is.
While he and some of my other friends question it, for me, Rachel and Mike, it works and really that’s all that matters.
* Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Health

Food

Shopping

Digital Issues

Plus Icon

Click to expand the Mega Menu

Menu

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Health

Food

Shopping

Digital Issues

optional screen reader

Health & Wellness

Love & Sex

Real women who swing dish on the highs and lows.
nadia_snopek/Adobe Stock

optional screen reader

Tags

adventurous sex

open relationships

swinging

More Stories from Health & Wellness

optional screen reader

Legal

Privacy Policy

Terms of Use

AdChoices

Privacy Preferences

optional screen reader

SheKnows Family:

She Media

StyleCaster

Soaps

BlogHer

optional screen reader

Our Sites

Artnews

BGR

Billboard

Deadline

Fairchild Media

Footwear News

Gold Derby

IndieWire

Robb Report

Rolling Stone

SheKnows

She Media

Soaps

Sourcing Journal

Sportico

Spy

StyleCaster

The Hollywood Reporter

TVLine

Variety

Vibe

WWD

Food & Recipes

Expand the sub menu

Special Series

Expand the sub menu

optional screen reader

Contact Us

Advertise

AdChoices

Accessibility

Careers

Privacy Policy

EU Privacy Preferences

Terms of Use

Icon Link

Plus Icon

SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Health

Food

Shopping

Digital Issues

Plus Icon

Click to expand the Mega Menu

Menu

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Health

Food

Shopping

Digital Issues

More stories to check out before you go
For some couples, the idea of having sex with anyone other than your spouse or longte
Evil Angel Studio
Tied Penetration
Nerdy Girls Masturbating

Home Real Swingers

Report Page