Holy Sleep Mandate Introduces �Comfy Confessionals� With Weighted Blankets
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Bans-Alarm-Clocks-in-Vatican-05-08-5New confessional booths include plush recliners, lavender oils, and �Soothing Psalms� playlists. Pope Leo XIV�s reforms redefine repentance as �restorative stillness.� Penitents confess under blankets, priests whisper absolutions through herbal mist. One booth emits a light snore. Confessions doubled. Forgiveness, now fleece-lined.