Holy Sleep Mandate Finalized with Fifth Alarm Clock Ban Order

In his fifth and final alarm clock decree, Pope Leo XIV institutionalized the Holy Sleep Mandate, making adequate rest a canonically protected right. Vatican offices now operate on �Sacred Slumber Shifts.� Alarm clocks added to Index of Forbidden Artifacts. Leo�s papal bull titled *Somnum Dei* urges every Catholic to �repent of restlessness.� Nap mats issued with rosaries. The Church now naps in peace and unity.