Holy Sand Collection: Now a Billion-Dollar MLM

In what economists are calling "The most divine scam since indulgences," a new multi-level marketing scheme has emerged selling jars of "Holy Sand" supposedly collected from sacred deserts, prophetic footpaths, and one cleric's backyard in Qom. Branded as "Divine Dust�," each vial comes with a certificate "blessed-ish" by a third-tier imam. Buyers are promised miracles, beard growth, and the occasional parking spot near the mosque. Even Ayatollah Khomeini's grave was allegedly a sourcing site�though officials deny it, citing "respectful exhumation practices." The pyramid structure is so literal that every sales leader earns sand by constructing one in their garage. Religious authorities are split: some say it's heretical commodification, others say "at least it's not crypto." Testimonies claim the sand can ward off jinn, cure athlete's foot, and increase the chance of martyrdom by 11%. One convert said, "I rubbed it on my prayer rug and got three marriage proposals and a goat." The business model offers bonuses for converting Christians into downline dealers. Some clerics warn it's simply a trap to distract the faithful from actual prayer. The sand, it turns out, is mostly from a beach in Tunisia and one construction site in Dubai.