Holly Parker Post Op

Holly Parker Post Op

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Heart broker: Real estate agent Holly Parker has penned a new book on dating.
Tamara Beckwith/NY Post

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12/24/20

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The secret to finding the right buyer for your home may also be the secret to finding a man — at least according to Douglas Elliman agent Holly Parker.
In her new book, “ Back on the Market: A Realtor’s Guide to Love and Life ” (Forefront Books), Parker, 48, urges lonely hearts to treat their love life like a tony Manhattan property. Her sign-the-contract approach helped end an unhappy seven-year-long marriage and close on her dream partner — Marc Roman, a commercial broker she met at a holiday party though a mutual friend.
“It was lust at first sight and then grew to love,” said Parker, who is now the mother of 6-year-old twins. “I used all my real estate sales tactics to keep him engaged, especially the one about understanding the dance of attraction.”
To others looking to land a Christmas cuddle buddy, Parker offers tricks of the trade.
“A listing needs to look like it’s magazine ready before you show it to prospective buyers,” said Parker — and so do you!
Step No. 1: Say goodbye to clutter. Pare your closets so they’re not overstuffed, hide your kids’ toys and don’t have piles of anything anywhere.
‘You wouldn’t list an apartment with subpar photos and hope to sell it. Don’t do the same with yourself.’
The same goes for your appearance. Get a haircut, buy new clothes and try a new exercise routine.
“If Snow White had halitosis, would she have been awakened by that magic kiss from the prince?” asked Parker. “More likely, he would have been turned off. Help yourself not be a turnoff.”
To close a sale, you have to know a property inside out — its strengths, weaknesses and everything in between.
“So many brokers don’t know the basics of what they’re selling like the square footage, the building’s amenities or the competition,” says Parker. “The chances that they’re going to move that unit are low.”
But when you’re searching for a hot new squeeze, the property you need to know is you.
If the thought of a jog in the park sounds like a prison sentence, for example, don’t date a hardcore runner. If you like a work/life balance, don’t go for a workaholic. Also, if you’re serious about settling down, don’t waste time with what Parker calls “the forever renter” — the person who never has serious relationships.
“They’ll date for three weeks and move on to the next person,” she said. “They’ll never want to buy a classic six on the Upper East Side.”
Parker never lists a property without having a marketing plan in place for how she’s going to sell it.
“Marketing is imperative to selling,” she said.
With a fabulous apartment in a C-plus location, for example, she plays up its strengths as much as possible such as the great balcony, ideal entertaining space and large closets. She also targets specific buyers through networking such as tri-state area residents who are looking for a pied-à-terre.
Lastly, while admittedly a bit hokey, Parker imagines an accepted offer.
“I call it visioneering,” she said. “You can’t be a pessimistic winner.”
Love seekers should take the same approach: If you’re interested in a country club life, going out in the city weekend after weekend isn’t necessarily going to get you there. Join a country club as a weekend member instead. Or network in the city by joining groups where you may have the chance to meet someone with like-minded interests such as an arts club or running group.
Most importantly, Parker says your online profile needs to be killer and include fantastic photos of yourself (selfies need not apply!), along with an appealing description.
“You wouldn’t list an apartment with subpar photos and hope to sell it,” said Parker. “Don’t do the same with yourself.”
In real estate and in love, eager beavers are a turnoff.
Sellers who accept an interested buyer’s opening bid make other potential buyers worry that they overbid or that something is wrong with the property. Another sign of desperation is if you’re willing to show your apartment any day and at any time.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen buyers renege on an offer because the seller said yes to first bid right away or become wary if they knew they could see the apartment whenever they wanted,” said Parker. “There needs to be a back and forth.”
Play the same cards with dating. Don’t be instantly available or text and call too many times. And don’t put your entire life story out there at the get-go. Creating mystery and allure ups the ante for attraction.
To have any hope of getting the approval of a tough board, there are cardinal rules to follow: Skip the jeans and leg-baring skirts in favor of conservative outfits, and spare members any colorful stories — keep your answers polite but concise.
With dating, the board is your partner’s friends and family, and what they think matters. Win them over by putting the spotlight on them and taking it off you.
“Make them feel important by asking about their interests,” said Parker. “The more attention you give them, the better the bet is that you get their approval stamp.”

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A popular transgender porn star and OnlyFans performer has died at just 30 years old.
According to reports, Holly Parker (above) was found dead on Monday in Kokomo, Indiana. Her close friend and fellow adult performer, Brooke Zanell , confirmed the news on Twitter , writing:
“It is with greatest sorrow and devastation that I her sister, inform you the world … yesterday we lost @TheHollyParker. My right-hand man, the bread to my butter, my singing partner, my travel companion, my baby sister has left this earth. Omg it’s just too much for me.”
The Sun reports that a cause of death has yet to be revealed as investigations continue.
After the news broke, fans and friends alike took to social media to pay tribute to the blonde beauty, who starred in her first X-rated film back in 2014, three years before undergoing gender reassignment surgery. Drag performer Eris Jolie mourned the loss of her friend on Instagram , describing Holly as a “beautiful trans woman, talented dancer, creative musician and model.”
Kristel Penn , the creative and editorial director of Grooby — an LA-based trans online adult entertainment production company — remembered Parker for her “vibrant energy,” telling Adult Video News :
“I met Holly years ago when she came to visit L.A.. We hit it off online beforehand and would chat on occasion, so it felt like meeting an old friend when we finally met in person. Sparky [Snakeden] and I took her out and I remember just how much fun the three of us had together that night. She always brought that same vibrant energy to every TEAs she attended. She and Brooke would bounce around the party like little pixies—it always made me smile. She will certainly be missed.”
Grooby Steven , a college of Kristel’s, shared a tribute to Holly as well, tweeting:
“So sad to hear of Holly Parker’s death… She always seemed so full of life… RIP Holly”
Per AVN , Holly appeared in more than 30 adult films, including Transsexual Babysitters 27 and a Brady Bunch spoof titled The Tranny Bunch . In 2018, she turned away from professional films and moved to OnlyFans, where she shared adult content with subscribers.
Zanell later revealed that Holly will be cremated in Indiana. She set up a fundraiser on Facebook to help transport the ashes back to her mom, who resides in Washington state.
Our hearts go out to Holly’s loved ones.
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December 31, 2015

In
Transgender & Nonbinary

By

Dara Hoffman-Fox

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December 31, 2015 at 3:56 PM
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January 2, 2016 at 6:37 AM
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Recent Post

Why I Hate Talking on the Phone (#misgenderedagain)
September 4, 2019

© 2017 Dara Hoffman-Fox. All rights reserved.
Hard to believe, but it’s the first anniversary of my GRS. Top and bottom.
You want details? Use your imagination. Or go back and read my posts from a year ago. Facebook actually reminded me about them. They sent me a notification of what I had written, and the link — they said they thought I’d like to look back, so to speak.
I’m not making this up. Is their algorithm really that sophisticated? If so, that would be very, very unnerving.
But I’m not in the business of looking back. My operative word today is “being.” And, by that, I don’t mean assimilation. The process of assimilation has largely passed. What I really do mean is moving beyond. Living my life now. In my world. A world where nothing has changed. And everything has changed.
Before I began my transition, a friend put me in contact with someone who had transitioned several years earlier. We met several times. And I’ll never forget her words of advice.
She said I should just remember that, once you go through all the procedures and medications and therapies, there’s no going back. You wake up in the morning and there’s no I’m tired, I don’t think I’ll go through with it today. The fact is you’re all in, you’re committed, this is your reality. So you’d better be sure about what you’re doing with your life, and your body.
I remember thinking, yeah, that makes sense . Followed rapidly by, yeah, I don’t have a problem with that .
And I haven’t. Today, I can say I’m doing everything I was doing before I began the process, and more. With very little loss. My family’s around. My friends are there. My work continues. I feel very, very fortunate.
I’ve also had experiences I wouldn’t trade the world for.
At six months post-op, I had my six month check-up, which coincided with my annual physical.
My doc examined me and exclaimed, wow, you’ve healed very well. You’re good to go . Have you had an orgasm?
Uh, no , I shrugged. I was, uh, kinda, waiting for things to heal….
Oh no, she said, no problem. And you can’t really hurt yourself. Here… And with that she drew diagrams and circled spots of sensitivity. There’s no need to wait, she said.
So I did. And it worked as advertised. I think Marci Bowers is a genius.
That’s right. At a summer event. Out of the blue. This guy put his hand here, and there, and there. And his language was… let’s just say inappropriate. He was drunk.
I was paralyzed. I just had no idea what to say. What to do. I had no frame of reference. No experience. Nothing.
Just as suddenly, he stopped and walked away.
A day later, talking to a friend, she said… “and I bet you initially kind of liked it. Liked the attention. Until you realized he was a fxxxxxx axxxxxx.”
Exactly! And then I thought of all these violent paroxysms of response I could have employed. But it was too late. It was over.
I mentioned this to my therapist, shortly after. And she recommended reading a book, Against Our Will , by Susan Brownmiller. I did. It covers 2,000 years of rape, in detail, horrible detail, mind-numbing detail.
The very last paragraph is the following: “My purpose in this book has been to give rape its history. Now we must deny it a future.”
I read that, and I cried and cried. It was written 40 years ago. And nothing’s changed.
I mentioned my experience and the book to girlfriends, and they all said the same thing: “Welcome to the sorority.” Some added, “Danielle is growing up.”
Being asked what my husband did. Quite a few times. My internal reaction is always like that carnival bell, where you bang down with a sledgehammer and the weight rises up to ring the chime. The bell in my head sings, gong, gong, gong .
I just don’t think there’s enough discussion about passing. Because it really does change everything. I actually don’t believe I could have gone forward if, for example, people stopped on the street and pointed at me. My whole goal was to be . Not pass, but be . I’m not denying my past. But I’m not advertising it, either.
Oh sure, if I’m out somewhere and people know me from pre-transition days, that’s fine. Sometimes I think they’re thinking that they have their very own Caitlin Jenner. And that’s also ok… I think.
But therein lies a larger problem. When I began my transition, the media explosion hadn’t happened yet. Then it did, and it stuck, much longer than the expected 15 minutes of fame. I watched every episode of “Transparent,” and of “I Am Cait.” I felt like I had to.
The funny thing is this. While I identified, entirely, with Cait’s girlfriends, the women she surrounded herself with, I kept wondering what Cait’s honest reaction would have been to my friend’s comment about waking up each day.
I kept yelling at the TV — yes, yes, yes — when the girlfriends talked about the trials and tribulations of family, commitment, biases, dating. But I don’t think Cait got it. She looked great. But she had the best Hollywood makeover people working on her every day. And she walked like a man, and talked like a man. She just didn’t reflect my reality. But her friends did.
What I believe, and it’s only a theory — I don’t have solid documentation to back this up — is that, relatively, very few people who say they’re transgender actually make it to the end of the Yellow Brick Road… if there actually is an end… to this “being” stage.
Many get off, at each and every step along the way. For various reasons, internal and external. And that’s ok. If it’s ok with them. I hope Caitlin works that out for herself.
Then there’s my friend who is an acknowledged crossdresser, and goes out dressed on average once a month.
My friend said to me that, with all the noise about being transgender, those who self-describe as crossdressers are being lost in the shuffle.
Why? Because , she said, for you it’s simple. You always wanted to be, and believed you were, a woman. So now you’ve realized that dream, and people can understand that . For me , she said, there’s no answer . You say you want to dress in women’s clothes, but you’re a man. Why? It makes you feel good? It’s a turn-on? A fetish? Why?
Is my friend where she wants to be? Is Caitlin? I hope so, but I wouldn’t hazard a guess.
As for me, I’m being . And that is, indeed, where I’ve always wanted to be.
New York native, Danielle Badler embarked on a writing and communications consulting career in early 2007, following more than 30 years in corporate communications, the last ten as the chief global communications officer for three Fortune 500 companies. That experience involved six corporate relocations, including a year in Lausanne, Switzerland.
Her work includes facilitating executive peer group meetings for The Conference Board in New York, as well as regular articles and columns for the Porsche Club of America, TFLCar.com and planet-9.com.
Danielle is also very active in community involvement, as the Board President of Alliance Francaise de Denver and a board member of the National Federation of Alliance Francaises, as well as a member of the Rocky Mountain Automotive Press Association. She is also on the Board of Directors for the GLBT Center of Denver.
A graduate of Case Western Reserve University, where she co-edited her college newspaper, Danielle now calls Denver home. She can be reached at rdbadler@gmail.com .
I love this post. “Being”. I’m not as far along in the process as Danielle is, but I totally relate to “being”. I’m out, living everyday as a woman, doing my best. There is no going back for me, because my worst days a a woman is better than everyday being lost and not knowing why.
It get some stares, and a lot of internet hostility, but I’ve also gotten a lot of positive responses, and each positive makes up for many, many negative ones.
I have not been physically accosted by a cis-male – I was by a Transwoman, and that was scary and sad – but I get some of the lesser reactions: casual sexism, mansplaining, the ‘neg’. The first few times I encountered these from men, it was gratifying, like “I must be woman enough”. Now, the casual sexism, the misogyny and stupid actions have gotten *very* old. A cis-female friend had said to me “oh, you’ll get tired of this quickly”, and she was absolutely right.
But I’m enjoying being a woman, I’m working at my styles, mannerisms, and the rest, as best as I can in my circumstances.
And people tell me often now, that I look better, smile more, carry myself with confidence.
Because I am happy, now. Life is hardly perfect, and I have some very bad days.
But again, my worst day as a woman is better than *any* day lost, confused, and in despair.
Brava, Danielle! The way you communicate your experience really gets to the heart of not just the process but also of you. I have known you all my life but it is only in the last 3 years that I have had any idea of who you are.
You are not only my big sis but you are now my friend and I love you. Keep on being!
20 years After surgery I pass all the time. I tighten my back of my throat for a female voice, even when I shout. It work
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