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A Guide to the Escort Hobby: Providers, Principles, and Practices
Here's a couple pics of the previous 'provider' I've engaged with:
A gorgeous, stunning Asian with an hourglass figure and a serious booty. With an upscale, luxurious apartment, tiled with granite flooring and decked out for one purpose: To please mortals on Earth. That's the kind of escort you can expect for $300 an hour. Are you interested in becoming a 'hobbyist' in this regard? Are you in need of sexual therapy? Are you concerned that your pent-up sexual energy may lead you into deceiving innocent women into fraudulent relationships just so you can motorboat dem titties? Are you looking for something to offset the 'lust factor' so that you can focus what 'really matters' in pursuing genuine relationships with women? If you answered yes to any of the above and don't mind a little risk-taking, then read on.
Five Core Principles of the Hobby
1) Don't ever mention your escort 'hobby' to anyone IRL -- NO ONE. STFU is the best security.
Seriously. You'll be surprised how quick some people are to throw a hissy fit and judge you (and the escorts); they'll lump you together with sex traffickers and street pimps, they'll blithely presume that you've contracted every form of STD known to mankind, and spread rumors about your 'criminal ways' and send your reputation to hell in a handbasket. Don't even tell your bestest of best friends (unless they, too, are proven hobbyists), because you risk it coming back to haunt you later in the event your relationship goes sour. In summary, STFU.
2) Always use a condom -- and bring your own, just in case.
Providers will generally always initiate the application of their own condoms. But providers aren't always prepared for the NBA-proportioned bros amongst us, so if you typically need Magnum-sized condoms, it's best to assume that your provider will not be expecting that surprise. At any rate, given that condoms can and do break, you're better off bringing your own condom(s) regardless of what size you're packing. Always have backup.
3) Never go for providers that don't require references... except for your first time, obviously.
See (4) below.
4) Never go for providers that price themselves out below $300 an hour.
If mitigating the risks of the hobby (busts, STDs/STIs, trashy providers, etc.) is a foremost concern, then limiting yourself to escorts that require references (preferably 2 or 3) and are priced at $300 or more an hour is an essential strategy. Providers who don't require references and/or are priced well below $300 usually tend to be one of the following: a) new to the industry and need to build up some reviews or b) old (by industry standards) and too jaded to care about being 'low volume' and attracting upscale clients, i.e. they care only about maximizing volume and $$$, or c) Young and attractive but too reckless or greedy to care about focusing on a low-volume strategy; max volume and profits is their focus, regardless of how many clients of questionable status they serve.
5) Always choose well-reviewed providers.
Always look up your local city's escort board, e.g. tnaboard, and read the reviews of your potential providers. Often, the providers will be active posters on the board, so you can chat with them, flirt with them, look at their post history and see what kind of personality they have. If the provider doesn't have any reviews, don't bother as it's not worth the risk -- stick with the well-reviewed providers.
Learn the Theory
You're not paying for sex; that's illegal, silly! And you're not "paying" either -- you're merely donating for their time and companionship -- that's perfectly legal. And if you two happen to spontaneously, consensually engage in sexual relations or any other activity -- irrespective, incidental, and independent of the initial transaction -- then that's perfectly legal (at least, in theory -- hence, the title). This theory is also the standard by which you evaluate what not to say/ask to a provider, e.g. "Here's my $300... btw, do you carry magnum condoms?" or by which you evaluate when to run, e.g. the provider asks, "Thank you for your payment...would you like me to start by sucking you off?"
Know the theory and you'll have a solid foundation to be a savvy hobbyist.
Learn the Lexicon
Upon entering the hobby, you need to learn the language. The language is, at least in part, designed to guard both parties from online scrutiny under law enforcement. They're not called 'escorts' or 'prostitutes'; they're called providers. You're not called 'Johnnies', you're called hobbyists. When you write follow-up reviews on the boards (and any hobbyist worth his salt will write a decent review, every time -- it's disrespectful not to, even if you have negative comments), you'll be expected to avoid language whose plain meaning would be interpreted as evidencing illegal conduct. The hobby already has its euphemisms and acronyms in place for most 'situations', so you only need to look them up. Here's a sample lexicon with corresponding plain meaning language:
Bareback: Without a condom.
BBBJ: Bareback Blow Job, oral stimulation of the penis without a condom
BBBJTC: Bareback Blow Job To Completion, oral stimulation of the penis to orgasm without a condom. (May spit or swallow)
Birdwatcher: A provider who swallows, based on the euphemism that she 'watches the Swallows'.
CBJ: CBJ, Covered Blow Job, fellatio with a condom
CG: Cowgirl
CIM: Cum in mouth.
Clockwatcher: A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over. Usually used to describe a provider who rushes and does not enjoy her work.
Completion: Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.
Cover: A condom
Covered: Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams
DATO: Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus
DATY: Dining at the Y, Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris
DFK: Deep French Kissing, kissing with tongue
Donation: Payment to a provider
Walking/Walked the dog: Doggy style
Enhancements: Breast implants
French: Oral sex, on either party
FS: Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion
GFE: Girl Friend Experience, A subjective term, but usually used as praise for a very passionate, sensual, non-mechanical experience. Most consider deep french kissing a baseline requirement for GFE.
Greek: Anal Sex
Hobby, The: The patronizing of prostitutes.
Hobbyist: A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Independent, Indie: An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances
Interpreter: Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)
Spinner: A very petite provider
TUMA: Tongue up my ass
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary = Catch all phrase to remind that tastes differ, reviews are inherently subjective, and that providers have good and bad days, thus experiences vary.
Read reviews on your local provider boards, and you'll learn the lexicon.
Before the Session
1) FFS, don't haggle with the provider on prices.
That is incredibly disrespectful and you'll be very very lucky not to get blacklisted by the provider and other providers. Providers tend to be a very tight-knit community and will alert each other on who to avoid (whether its because you're an assshole, have STIs/STDs, smell bad, or act like five-o) by reference to your name, phone number, email, and appearance.
2) FFS, don't send dick pics to the provider.
Providers are just as concerned about getting busted as you are; by sending them any kind of lewd communication (whether in text or picture form) in advance, you lose all credibility. Have some fuucking common sense and civility; you're a gentleman and she is a lady -- act like so.
3) FFS, don't send one-word or vague emails/text
Sending "Hi, I'm all oiled up and reddy 2 go!" is just going to give the provider a headache; she's running a business and doesn't need you wasting her time with hunky dory bullshiit like that. Just state your request and include 1) Your donation amount, 2) Date and time, e.g. "Hi, I've got $300 for you. This Wednesday at 5pm good? Here are my references (links to reviews/provider phone numbers). Thank you!" Providers will love you for keeping it straightforward and simple.
During the Session
1) Pre-shower is generally standard operating procedure
Any provider worth her salt will require a pre-shower. Many will even join you for a little tease and soapy fun. Some will even wash your angus thoroughly -- I'm talking finger inserted 2/3rds in the way, for maximum freshness so she can tongue-fuuck your angus with reckless abandon. Regardless of how thoroughly you sanitized your balls and angus prior to arriving, take the damn shower -- it's standard procedure.
2) Be a respectful gentleman at all times.
Follow this principle, and you'll always be fine on your end of the bargain.
After the Session
1) Write a follow up review
Providers will always appreciate any feedback, no matter how small or lengthy, no matter how critical or raving. So even if your writing skills are surpassed by 3rd graders, write one anyway. But I will tell you this, providers love hobbyists who write spectacular, entertaining reviews. You can imagine how deeply emotional and uplifting it can be to read a glowing, raving, thorough review of your sexual performance; now imagine the feels of a woman, whose physiology and psychology is designed for maximum emotions, when she reads your reviews. You can begin to see the impact a review can have on your relationship with a provider.
2) STFU.
You're gonna be basking in all the after-glow of being exploring your wildest fantasies. You're gonna have so much vibrant energy that you'll have to share it with someone! Don't, unless the other person you're spilling the beans to is also a verified hobbyist.
Moar of the previous babe:
Y'all have fun and stay safe!
The more mass you have, the more ass you get.
The more cash you make, the more class you get.
Don't you worry about things like herpes a condom wont stop that ****.
I know references might mitigate the risks of that but after all she gets paid to have sex.
cant believe this thread is happening.
Do the prostitutes, actually wait a few minutes for u to write a review?
Eats booty like groceries crew
Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
rule 1. dont go to U.S. providers
mexican prostitutes are far hotter and cost less
Never had a girlfriend<--Crew
Never kissed non-hooker<--Crew
Never sexed non-hooker<--Crew
Never held hands with non-hooker<--Crew
drives 2 hours 2 phuck $15 hooker<--Crew
The more mass you have, the more ass you get.
The more cash you make, the more class you get.
"In my training camp, me working with you, get your weight down and you're not fighting for money.
God knows this in your heart. You ain't gotta answer the man. See, man judges man's actions.
God judges man's heart. You go in the ring for God, now you got the whole world shook up."
Muhammad Ali
*Feels suicidal when pump goes away crew*
*LOLUCANTSTOPME CREW* - Porn Thread Record Holders
++ Positive Crew ++
Almost 100% recovered from my accident and getting my lifts back up again (http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=149599853&page=1)
Bench - Jan13-95x8 April13-185x4 July-225x4
Squat - Jan13-155x6 April13-225x4 July-315x3
DL - March13-275x4 April13-345x2 July-405x1
Reps for life: The Chillosopher
Neg on sight: GetItBack
The more mass you have, the more ass you get.
The more cash you make, the more class you get.
In on 1st page of awesome thread. Repped OP.
brb spending good money to have sex with a chick who's been dicked by hundreds or thousands of guys before me
no thanks jeff .. groce
Real Medical Doctor
Powerlifter
Bench Press: 500lbs
Squat: 545lbs
Deadlift: 580lbs
We dont play by your rules because we hate your game
LOL @ Op putting the prostitute pussy on a pedestal
Real Medical Doctor
Powerlifter
Bench Press: 500lbs
Squat: 545lbs
Deadlift: 580lbs
man for 300 bucks I can get some hot college girls liquored up and ready to go on friday and saturday night
300 bucks is a lot of damn money for sex when a fifth of flavored vodka works just as good
The more mass you have, the more ass you get.
The more cash you make, the more class you get.
so you spend 300 bucks for under an hour of sex? why not just have that sex with a regular girl for free whenever you want (ex. relationship) ?
Real Medical Doctor
Powerlifter
Bench Press: 500lbs
Squat: 545lbs
Deadlift: 580lbs
The more mass you have, the more ass you get.
The more cash you make, the more class you get.
England brah here.
Reccomend me a good website to find dis chit pls. I got dat dere yellow fever so make sure it got tons of asians.
*Always wash my butt hole with shower gel and hot water after taking a dump crew*
*Yellow Fever Crew*
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