Hitting His Prostate
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Hitting His Prostate
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
Posted October 3, 2014
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
About a year ago, I was talking to a few health professionals who touted the sexual and sensual benefit of prostate massage. For many men, massaging the prostate is a real sexual turn-on that can make sexual climax more pleasurable. In fact, some refer to the prostate as the “P-spot.”
The prostate is a small gland about the size of a walnut that is located in the middle of a man’s pelvis, situated between the penis (in front) bladder (above) and rectum (behind). It can be indirectly accessed for means of sexual stimulation either through insertion of a finger in the anus or by massaging the perineum, the landing strip of skin located between the testicles and anus. It probably goes without saying that the prostate’s main physiological function is not sexual rather it surrounds the urethra (pee tube) and secretes seminal fluid that adds to semen during ejaculation.
When I searched the Internet for a how-to on prostate massage, I stumbled on a pretty good article written by Corey Silverberg . Some useful pointers: Make sure to trim your nails, use lube, and consider augmenting the experience with vibrators and butt plugs. Furthermore, be careful if your prostate is enlarged, as the practice may cause pain.
If massaging the prostate is so pleasurable, why have I not learned about it in sex ed? With the exception of Californication , which covers nearly every sexual proclivity imaginable, I haven't heard about it on popular media, such as television shows and in films? So few people talk about prostate massage in casual conversation, but honestly, I wish I would have learned about prostate massage earlier.
Naveed Saleh, M.D., M.S. , attained a medical degree from Wayne State University School of Medicine and a master's degree in science journalism from Texas A&M.
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Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
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See a trained professional if you want your prostate medically examined. Medical professionals do not recommend prostate self-exams. An "untrained finger" is unlikely to accurately recognize signs of problems, and there is a small but not inconsequential risk of damage to the rectum or prostate. [1]
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Talk to your primary care doctor to determine if you should have a DRE (digital rectal exam) to check your prostate.
Check your prostate if you’re older than 40, have a high risk for prostate cancer, or if you have symptoms of an enlarged or infected prostates.
If you want to access your prostate for sexual pleasure, take all the precautions described in this article and work very slowly and gently.
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Take a shower and clean "between the cheeks" thoroughly. Use soap, water, and a soft washcloth to clean the area as best you can, then rinse it out thoroughly with clean water from the shower. The cleaner you feel "up there," the less self-conscious you're likely to be when the time comes to insert your finger.
Don’t use a rough washcloth or brush, scrub too vigorously, or try to clean deep into your rectum. You may damage the sensitive tissue in the area. Just accept that it’s not possible to get this area 100% clean.
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Trim your nails and put on a sterile exam glove. Use nail clippers and a file to make sure your fingernails don’t have any sharp or jagged edges—this is especially important for the index finger you’ll be using. After that, wash and dry your hands and put a sterile exam glove onto the hand you’ll be using. [2]
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Even when you’re accessing your own rectum, it’s best to play it safe and wear a glove.
If you wear a ring on the index finger you’ll be using, remove it.
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Apply lots of petroleum jelly or personal lubricant to your index finger. Doctors typically use petroleum jelly (like Vaseline) for this procedure, but a personal lubricant gel (such as KY Gel) works fine as well. In either case, don’t be shy about loading up the lubricant on your index finger! [3]
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Your entire index finger should be fully coated from the tip down to at least the middle knuckle.
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Assume a comfortable position for accessing your rectum and prostate. In a clinical setting, a medical professional will likely have you lie down on your side with your knees brought up to your chest. It may be difficult to access your own prostate from this position, however. Alternatively, stand up and lean forward so that your hips flex outward. [4]
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Relax your rectum as much as possible. Do your best to remain calm and relaxed because your rectum will naturally tense up when you insert your finger, especially if it’s a new experience for you. It’ll be more difficult and possibly uncomfortable to access your prostate if your rectum is contracted. [5]
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If you’re at home, try putting on some relaxing music or doing a few deep breathing exercises beforehand.
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Insert the tip of your gloved and lubed index finger into your rectum. Work slowly and gently and try to remain calm and relaxed. Stop once your first knuckle—the one closest to your fingertip—is in your rectum. [6]
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While there are sexual pleasure devices designed to stimulate the prostate, use your finger the first few times until you get comfortable with the process.
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Aim your finger (without bending it) between your belly button and penis . Instead of going straight up your rectum, you need to angle your finger forward in order to access your prostate. Don’t bend your knuckles, but rather adjust the angle of your entire finger so it’s pointed in the proper direction. [7]
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Insert your finger deeper until you make contact with your prostate. Your middle knuckle will probably enter your rectum before your fingertip reaches your prostate. On contact, the prostate should feel soft and smooth, and you may feel a brief sensation like you need to urinate. [8]
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During a DRE, a medical professional will gently feel your prostate for about 5-10 seconds, checking for any bumps, growths, or unusual elements.
For sexual pleasure, try gently massaging the prostate with your fingertip. It may take a few seconds, a few minutes, or longer for you to experience pleasurable results—but you’ll know them when they happen!
In some cases, your finger may not be long enough to access the prostate—this happens to doctors doing exams about 6% of the time. [9]
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