High Protocol Bdsm
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High Protocol Bdsm
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A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship ).
Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.
Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants .
Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.
Invisible protocols are protocols that occur in a method that is stealthy and difficult to detect when compared to a typical vanilla environment. Usually invisible protocols are used to practice power exchange in areas where stealth is required, or as an enhanced communication technique that allows complex information and concepts to be transferred quickly.
These protocols and rituals see frequent use with couples that have children, those practicing D/s in public and not wanting to alert others or force them to see something non-consensual, or when wishing to enjoy a well trained slave.
An honorific title is a word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Honorifics are one of the most common types of protocols used in BDSM. An honorific is often a title such as "Sir", "Mistress" or whatever title the D-type prefers to assign within the power exchange dynamic, and while the honorific may convey a specific idea, no honorific chosen necessarily specifically indicates a specialized list of qualifications. Typically an honorific will be used while in scene or during times when invisible protocols are not necessary for 24/7 dynamics, and will be used to start or end a passage of speech, or both start and end a passage of speech. An honorific is most often chosen by the d-type deciding what sort of status role they find most suiting to them. Some honorifics are given as earned titles from issuing institutions.
Honorifics are often perceived as being masculine or feminine but are frequently adopted in a gender bending fashion as well.
A ritual is a solemn ceremony that exists within a power exchange dynamic consisting of a series of actions performed (usually by the s-type ) according to a prescribed order set by the d-type . Unlike a protocol , a ritual has a specific physical action associated with it as well as a triggering mechanism, where as a protocol can simply be a directive to govern behavior.
Rituals can cover any topic the D-type so desires, however typical rituals might involve things such as:
and anything else of importance to a particular D-type.
A mantra is a ritualized, solemn and formulaic utterance. Most times mantras are used as positive affirmations that are triggered at specific times of day or under certain specific conditions. Mantras are often used to help reinforce conditioning and can be also be a mild form of hypnosis . A mantra may have other specific physical actions associated with it aside from just speech to help reinforce the mantra.
Various Linguistic conventions often synonymous with D/s .
Some people in the D/s world capitalize words and names that refer to d-types , and do not capitalize those that refer to s-types , hence the capitalization of D/s; others do not. This practice was popularized on internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about and has spread to many other forms of text based communication.
Also, some s-types eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl/boy". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty or objectification , but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing an s-type . It is speculated that this practice may have roots in the military, where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit" rather than "I" or "me".
Further some may have speech restriction protocols such as the inability to say the word "no" to the Master (yet still having other venues to express dissatisfaction without challenging the Master) they serve or being required to kneel and request permission to speak with hand signal.
To develop some starter protocols as a D-type , consider what things you value and what small niceties might make your life easier and more enjoyable. Then discuss them with your partner and negotiate the terms of these protocols. When creating rituals and protocols, ensure they have the following criteria:
With that information you will be able to create your own rewarding protocols with your partner, provided you know what it is that you want and like, and if you don't, it's important to get to know yourself if you intend on directing your s-type in how to please you.
Sometimes when developing your own protocols it can be useful to have a basis for comparison, take a look at some of these sources and note how very different they are in writing style, purpose and application.
Once you start to have some ideas about what is important to you, begin organizing your thoughts into a Schema.
A protocol schema is a systematic way of describing the set of rules which constitute a protocol. The schema is divided into four sections:
Within D/s, it is common that more emphasis will be placed on the s-type when writing out a protocol.
When introducing protocols, consider discussing them as well as the concerns and challenges that may arise with your s-type as they will have certain insights you will not, and require their feedback as they integrate protocols.
Introduce 1-3 at a time until the s-type has canonized them through conditioning and then add more of your protocols so as not to overburden your s-type with too many drastic changes at once such as by handing them a huge manual of protocols to be responsible for all at once. When trying out a new protocol, use it on a trial basis, reassess and alter the new protocol as necessary so that it will best serve the relationship. When the process is refined, agreed upon and trained, dedicate it to the protocols that are considered expectations of the d-type .
Consider having them keep a log of when a protocol is first taught and when it is learned sufficiently to be set as an expectation so that the log may be referred to if there is a protocol breach. Keep your schema private from them at this time until such a time as it is no longer necessary.
If the slave finds that a protocol is not corrected when failed, the slave will often begin to have the relationship structure degrade in their mind which is poisonous to a relationship based on structure and power exchange. If this becomes common the structure can fail. If the Master finds they aren't upset enough to mention and appropriately deal with a protocol when the expectation isn't met, or worse, that it isn't noticed at all when the expectation isn't followed through on, it is best to consider downgrading the protocol to a stated preference rather than an expectation that must be met as is implied by using the term protocol.
The phrase "High Protocol" is frequently used in D/s and M/s, but has no universal meaning. High Protocol is often used during formal dinners in the Leather M/s community and at various other Leather events and is often marked by being very restrictive and akin to military protocol. Most high protocols for s-type 's do share some common features, including:
The fictional protocol in force at Roissy in the "Story of O" is a classic example of a detailed high protocol.
High Protocol in front of people who are not members of the dominant's immediate household may also have some of the features of a performance. High Protocol in front of vanilla persons may be considered a consent violation and might cause a disturbance.
Protocol may also come in other levels and be sorted as needed by the d-type , typically into groups such as high, medium, low and no protocol. An example of levels of protocol is The Estate Protocols of House Tanos [1] .
Used in vanilla and informal situations.
For most public BDSM scene environments, and during play scenes.
Normally used for short periods or during longer punishments.
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High protocol is a formal set of rules governing acceptable behavior for submissives within the BDSM community. Dominants enforce high protocol. High protocol is most commonly used during formal dinners and during periods of submissive punishment. While what constitutes high protocol varies from couple to couple, but high protocol is always restrictive.
While the rules as to what constitutes high protocol vary, there are often common similarities. For example, high protocol typically restricts the way submissives speak at formal events. They may need to be silent for the entire event, perhaps request permission to speak, or only speak when they are spoken to first. In most cases, submissives will need to use specific forms of address, such as “Sir, yes, sir!” during these formal occasions.
High protocol also typically involves submissives acting in an extremely respectful way towards their dominants. They shouldn’t turn their backs on their dominants, and they might need to kneel and keep their heads bowed. They may also need to ask permission to use the bathroom or leave the room for any reason.
When high protocol is practiced, submissives are usually even more focused on their dominants and their needs than usual. They’ll need to respond immediately to any commands, for example, and always put their dominant's desires first.
Adhering to high protocol can be difficult for submissives and dominants. While submissives might struggle with the need to adhere to rules, dominants might struggle to enforce them. There are also some couples who love high protocol because it reinforces their relationship roles and gives them a clear structure to work with.
As with all aspects of BDSM relationships, the rules for high protocol should be discussed and agreed upon between the dominant and submissive before they’re enacted.
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Posted on 11/07/2018 11/07/2018 by cheeky
What is it? Why do we do it? And how does it exactly work?
I’m going to write about personal experiences here. Before we get in on what High protocol is exactly let me give you a bit of a rundown on how the different protocol settings MIGHT look like in our own D/s relationship.
So to use an example that everyone might be familiar with. We are a family with two kids. Running a household and Moc working and a busy life with two kids involved in all sorts. So by the end of the day, we are both tired. Kids go to bed so this is all happening after bedtime and kids getting into a deep sleep.
Low setting: (we don't have “no protocols” settings as D/s for us is 24/7 but some might have a complete no protocol setting for when family are around.)
We cuddle up on the couch and talk about our day. We might watch tv. I might get up and get a book and cuddle up and read. MoC might offer me a cup of coffee or he might ask me to make one. I might respond with Yes Sir but generally, it is just okay. If he states something as more of an order I might get sassy with an answer as I get up and do what was asked.
Later as our set normal bedtime routine, he tells me time to get ready for bed. I take a shower, brush teeth and dry myself and stay naked in the bedroom under covers with the ankle and wrist cuffs out for normal routine of him placing it on me for the night.
Medium setting: We cuddle up on the couch and talk about the day. He might lean over and say: "slave make me a cup of coffee." Using a title of some sort gives me the indication it is an order of more importance so I will reply with Yes Sir. I will get up and make a cup of coffee and present it in a bit more of a nicer way. If we have cookies I might even get those out and my focus goes more on pleasure for him. He will indicate where I sit and if I want to read I will ask if there is anything I can do for him. If the answer is no I will ask if I am allowed to read. He will usually say yes or give me other instructions.
Bedtime routine the same but he might tell me to wait in a certain position in the bedroom while he takes a shower. I generally can’t go on my cell phone unless I have asked permission.
High protocol: He will tell me that it IS High protocol. In the high protocol, I generally won’t make eye contact, unless He instructs me to look into His eyes when answering a question. I won’t use any of the furniture. I will stay close to Him. Forget the book, the tv and everything. He generally will put a cushion down on the wooden floors and I will kneel or sit there. I won't speak unless spoken to. He might get up and make a coffee and tell me to be in a position that he can view me or He will instruct me on making it. I will answer as Yes Master. Manners are extremely important. If say for instance I need to go to the bathroom I will wait and look up and say, Master. When he acknowledges me I ask what I need to and wait. Don't forget to say thank you, Master, in the end, and then quickly go do what I need to do and come back.
Bedtime routine: He will say time for his slave to get ready or he might decide that I need to shower him and dry him off or he might decide I will shower and he will wait for me. It's all up to him. So you need to be able to adapt really quickly. It's not run as a scripted scene so your attention has to be on your Dominant and their needs at all times.
I will definitely be kneeling waiting in the bedroom or in inspection position if my foot is cramping. I won't have to be told. So unless he gives me a position that is the position I will be in.
MoC tends to be extra critical. A position is never ever in perfect place. He will adjust and tell me to try harder. He expects perfection even though we both know it isn't possible. It's not to make me feel bad but to feel that extra sense of striving for the best.
So that is a simple part on how the different protocol settings MIGHT work. Remember everyone is different.
So now after a practical example of each protocol setting lets look at the differences a bit closer.
Low protocol:
Power exchange is still present.
Use of titles not in effect all the time.
Freedom of speech (to a degree)
More casual and a lot more freedom
Medium protocol:
Power exchange will be a bit more visible.
Is or can be a bit more casual but the focus is getting shifted slightly.
Use of titles.
Might be where most couples will be when they do a scene.
The Dominant will indicate the correct way and it is up to the
submissive to pick up and react to it.
High protocol:
Power exchange is more visible.
Speech restrictions
Eye restrictions
Movement restrictions
Use of titles
Generally won't use any furniture.
The focus is completely on the Dominant.
No distractions allowed.
The wants of the submissive are completely pushed aside.
You live and breath to serve the Dominants needs and wants as perfectly as you can.
After reading this I think you can get a clearer picture of why I feel it is extremely hard if not close to impossible to live in High protocol all the time. But to incorporate it into your own dynamic can be an easy thing to do.
It might be that you do it for a set time period quite regular to get in the min
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