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I'm Rebecca DeMent(she/her/they/them), a Buddhist Catholic vegan ecofeminst, and I am a junior at Sonoma State University studying Philosophy in the Pre-Law concentration with a minor in Business. 

9 Lansdowne St.
Suite 2
Boston, MA 02215
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If you go to school at Sonoma State University, live on campus and don’t have $15k for a single bedroom, you have roommates. It might be one or two, but if you gotta skimp it money-wise than you have two.
Two people live in a room along with you; all their bedding, clothes, personal items and bathroom are yours, and yours theirs virtually. Socialization in college is therefore not really the problem, it’s alone time that’s the problem. So what do you do when you want alone time but have to keep track of two additional schedules? Well let me give you my play-by-play.
The first few weeks or so, you honestly forget. Everyday has been jam packed with moving in and getting to know people. Then getting to know your new classes, professors and the campus layout. Then its been finding clubs and other social venues. Then some new chick’s friends kinda bring up the topic of your private me time and you realize...oh my gosh...it's been like six weeks since you’ve gotten off when before living in a suite full of seven girls, you did it once once a week, three times a week or every night.
Now you’re hyper aware of the fact that you haven't had any me time in a millennium and your hard working self deserves it. You do girl, let the self love reign.
Most likely you have a groupchat with your whole suit and at the very least your roommates. Literally just text them, but obviously you can’t just “hey guys, flicking the bean, please knock!” I doubt you’re that close with them already. Know the moves.
“Hey guys, who will be back in the next hour? I need an opinion on an outfit”
“Who’s gonna be home to get some groceries in the next hour?”
Or just keep it simple. “Yo who’s gonna be home soon?” and if they ask why, just, “doing some intense quiet studying”.
This will tell you how much time you have.
Maybe no one responds to your text. Maybe their phones are on silent or they have their phone in their backpack or you know what, they silenced the group chat because it’s normally just texts about who’s buying toilet paper next.
At SSU, all room doors automatically lock and its unlocked with the corresponding student ID, which, you can hear unlock the door. Thus giving you a few seconds warning. Also, for safe warning, maybe shut the lights because if you just so happened to be walked in on, you can pull the “you were taking a nap.” Don’t feel bad or awkward if you’re walked in on, remember, human’s are not naturally suspicious and will probably make no assumption you’re doing what you’re doing. To get rid of them, really lay on the nap bit, “hey can you shut the lights?” or “hey can you keep it down?” and “how long are you gonna be? Can you shut the door?” The average person is gonna try and get out of your hair so you can smack - I mean, “nap.”
No no, I literally mean the cover up. God forbid you’re walked in on, but if you have your garden just out on display with a handy-helper chilling next to you, it’s a lot harder to avoid the awkward situation. But if you have your blankets over you while you’re busy doin-the-dirt, then you can cut it and say you were trying to nap. I also recommend, if you do have a little plastic assistant of some kind, have it located in an easy access place. Under your pillow, blankets, under the bed, in a box or drawer next to the bed. If you keep it in a close spot in bed then you don’t have to worry about sneaking it back later or anything.
Alright, your roommates are gone for the next two hours in class, doors closed, lights low, you’re snuggled in your blankets and you pull the buzzing bee to your flower out from the drawer and just take a breathe, “ahhhh, me time.” Do your thing girl.
Man was that awesome. Maybe go twice.
Okay so now you know, Katy has class from 3:15 - 5:15 pm and Jenny leaves at 3:45 for her internship and since you get out of class at 3:30, that means you have at least an hour and 15 minutes if you get through all your steps by 4. Dope. The schedules the same about every other week.
Every time you notice you have a hot minute (probably more than a minute), take advantage of your opportunities. You might get too caught up in the hustle and bustle next time. Me time is healthy, take care of yourself.
Girls are often times sexually repressed and there is no social medium between “slut” and “prude.” It is very important for girls, the same as boys, to embrace their sexuality and embrace their self love. Masturbation helps increase blood flow to the genitals, flushes out the area to prevent infections, improves morale and overall just benefits the person's health and wellbeing. Girls should not be ashamed of this perfectly natural call to self love or the natural things that assist them in it. Who you are naturally, is who you are perfectly and should be proudly. Let your sexuality empower you...and remember to shut the door.
Don't forget to check out more by SSU!
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20 Dirty Little Secrets Women Go Out Of Their Way To Keep From Men
By The Frisky — Written on Apr 14, 2021
A friend of mine — a guy who used to occasionally step out on his woman and hook up with other girls — had the strangest theory about the female species.
"Women don't cheat," he told me, when I asked if he was ever worried she was doing the same thing to him. "It's just not in their nature."
I laughed. Of course, I wasn't surprised when he found out she'd been two-timing him for most of their relationship, after their inevitable breakup, but he was completely shocked.
But during my two-and-a-half years of interviewing countless women, I discovered that there are many, many more things that we ladies keep secret from men.
Most of the time, women keep secrets that are personal to them: how they see their body , what they do in their free time, or any guilty pleasures they may have.
It's okay for women to have dirty secrets stashed away where men can't find them because there are just some things you want to keep to yourself — and that's perfectly understandable. These secrets might be embarrassing or too personal, and only when you're ready should you share.
Either way, women will always keep secrets from their partner, but most of the time these secrets aren't anything to worry about; rather, they are harmless thoughts women have about themselves and don't think of sharing with others.
It might be something like wanting their partner to be kinkier in bed, or that they want to go out with their girlfriends and get a little crazy. Sometimes, a woman's closest friends know more than what their husbands or boyfriends see. 
As soon as we're alone in the house — husband leaves for the office, kids go to school, roommate goes out of town — and we have quality free time knowing no one is going to walk in on us, we touch ourselves.
Sometimes we even just do it if you're still in the house if that quality free time is never going to come. Usually, it's while we're in the bathroom.
And in the shower. And sometimes we really just want to do it in the hot tub, but we try to not do that out of respect for everyone else in there.
From our toes, our chin, our lips, moles on the backs of our legs, and our nipples. And we really, really enjoy plucking a stubborn ingrown hair . Getting that sucker out is, for some gross reason, such sweet satisfaction.
Or the pillow you were sleeping on when you're not around. If you were to catch us doing this, we'd be mortified.
Photo: NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock
Maybe go to a swingers party , have a threesome, or be a dirty stripper for a night, but with no emotional consequences.
And very often, we will dress for them and subtly flirt just so they will. We don't want to actually sleep with them — we just want them to want us.
As long as they aren't rude or nasty, it can be kind of flattering. We also like it when you get a little jealous, to a degree. Not in an irrational or psycho way, just a bit to show you're protective and you care.
The longer, the louder and the stinkier, the more enjoyable.
This includes spilling all of your embarrassing secrets, sneaking cigarettes or other substances, and drinking way more than we let on. Grinding with strangers at a club can also sometimes occur.
But we'll never marry you. Brains and kindness will always trump hotness when it comes to marriage material .
Or sometimes we're just plain excited. And we hate being judged for it.
Hate it, hate it, hate it! But we like that when it's cleaned up, you go down on us more readily. In a perfect world, you would go down on us with regularity on naturally poofy pubes.
And it's usually a deal-breaker for women who are of child-bearing age.
Photo: Africa Studio / Shutterstock
As long as you're kind and emotionally generous and work hard. Laziness and lack of motivation are inherently un-sexy.
We'll certainly give it the old college try if we want you bad enough, though.
A little belly, gray hairs, even a receding hairline. It reminds us that we all have body issues and that we shouldn't be so insecure or hard on ourselves. Being human is cool, but being whiny about your paunch or constantly fussing over your gray temples is as annoying as us always asking, "Does this make me look fat?"
A gross and pervy situation, another man, being dominated... who knows. But most of us love to fantasize. It doesn't mean we're not sexually attracted to you, we just need the mental images to take it up a notch.
Photo: sergey causelove / Shutterstock
As long as we have the technology, they will never be fully out of our lives or minds. This doesn't mean we still love them; we're just curious.
...as long as we're the ones doing the drunk kissing. We consider sleeping with another man cheating .
We say we miss you but are often secretly glad you're gone so we can totally relax and be ourselves. But we still love it when you come back.
Emily Hingle is a writer, editor, and social media coordinator at LCIA.
This article was originally published at The Frisky . Reprinted with permission from the author.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
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LONG BEACH, N.Y. –Long Beach, New York middle school special education teacher Lisa Weitzman once forced a male student to masturbate in front of his classmates, according to a recently filed lawsuit.
The notice of claim filed in Nassau County Supreme Court against Long Beach Public Schools on behalf of five former students also alleges Weitzman forced her disabled students to eat foods that made them sick, restrained them with zip ties, pushed them against walls, verbally berated them, gave one student a lap dance, among other outrageous behavior, Courthouse News Service reports.
Parents of five of Weitzman’s students – four male and one female – are suing the school district for $25 million – $5 million for each victim, attorney Gerard Misk told The Huffington Post .
“While I have seen other instances of abuse that have been appalling, this one is worse because these are the most vulnerable children,” he said. “The families trusted this teacher and the school and had their trust destroyed.”
Misk told the news site the children involved suffer from Down syndrome or autism, and could not communicate the alleged abuse to their parents. He said the lawsuit targets the school district for failing to take action against Weitzman to stop the abuse despite numerous warnings from teaching assistants.
The alleged abuse took place between 2011 and 2014, the Post reports.
Details of the alleged abuse came to light in a school disciplinary hearing to terminate Weitzman that began March 4. Weitzman has been suspended from teaching since late 2014, the Long Beach Herald reports.
The school district presented eight charges against Weitzman in the hearing, which was held in public at the teacher’s request.
“Ms. Weitzman did not do the heinous acts of which she is accused,” Weitzman’s attorney, Debra Wabnik, told the news site in an email. “She elected to have a public hearing because she has nothing to hide. She devoted herself to caring and advocating for the children entrusted to her and their families. If anyone failed these kids, it was the district. That will be borne out as the hearing continues.”
More than 20 members of the public attended the hearing, where Weitzman’s supervisor testified that she routinely used a classroom bathroom as a time-out space despite repeated instructions to stop. Weitzman was reportedly reassigned for the bathroom issue, but district officials did not inform parents until nearly a year later, Special Education PTA co-president Patrice Krezminski said.
“They felt horrible … that they didn’t see that this may or may not have happened to their child,” Krezminski said of parents of the alleged victims. “ … (T)hey wanted answers, and the district did the best they could with answering legally in terms of what they can and cannot say.”
The special education PTA pressured school officials and the board of education to more thoroughly investigate the allegations against Weitzman, which prompted the hearing and subsequent lawsuit.
“It’s not that we didn’t care; we didn’t know about it,” Krezminski said. “We’re not lawyers. We’re not employed by the district. There’s only certain things we can do, which we did.”
But the lawsuit against the school district alleges that school officials were well aware of Weitzman’s misdeeds and did not take action until the school board was contacted by the teacher’s union about the situation.
“Though at least 11 teachers assistants filed complaints about Weitzman over the past seven years, none of the 11 complaints were ever investigated, according to the petition” cited by Courthouse News. “That changed in November 2015 when the former head of the teacher’s union fired of a letter to school board president, Roy Lester, demanding action, the petition states.”
The charges in the lawsuit and the termination hearing detail basically the same abuse – stomping on students’ feet with heels, using the bathroom as a time-out area, zip-tying or duct taping students to restrain them, and other alleged physical abuse.
The lawsuit, but not the school charges, allege the teacher forced a male student to masturbate in front of his classmates, while the school hearing documented allegations Weitzman performed a lap dance on a student, and ducted taped gloves on the hands of a student to prevent the child with playing with their feces – which were not in the lawsuit.
School officials, meanwhile, have largely kept quiet about the case.
“Please know that Long Beach has complied, and will continue to comply, with all federal and state legal requirements regarding complaints to the district about possible abuse or mistreatment of our students,” superintendent David Weiss told the Post in a statement.
“Laws protecting the privacy of students prohibit us from saying anything more.”
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If childhood feels like a nonstop pool party, puberty is the dark storm that rolls in out of nowhere, raining down lightning and striking the pool, electrocuting everyone and giving you hair in new places. Puberty is a lot of things, but subtle sure isn't one of them. These five guys got really candid about the first time they realized nothing would ever be the same. And no matter what your experience was like, you can probably relate on some level.
1. "I don't remember exactly how old I was, but this was right when I first started getting boners. I still get boners a lot, but back then, it was like, if I thought I heard someone say the word 'boob,' I got a boner. So there's this girl I have a huge crush on, and I finally work up the courage to ask her. My penis, of course is all, 'Oh, a girl you like, cool,' and tries to play wingman by showing off. She notices it through my JNCO jeans, she laughs, her friend laughs . People teased me for a little about it. As if, like, having a working sex drive and penis is something crazy that you need to get ridiculed for." - Troy, 28
2. "I was relatively young and realized that rubbing my boner up against my bed at night felt really, really good. So I would do that, and eventually one day, I guess it made me orgasm ? I didn't understand what happened and I got kind of freaked out. I'd had sex ed but I didn't put it together. So I just tried to go to sleep but I couldn't because I kept compulsively checking on my penis to make sure it was OK." - Kevin, 26
3. "I don't know if this counts, but when I was younger, I remember thinking boobs were really great but vaginas were gross. I feel like I need to defend my 12-year-old self here now. I just didn't exactly understand entirely what the big deal is and in my defense, I probably didn't have the greatest grip on how sex worked at that point. I also think pubic hair weirded me out, at that point. Like, as far as I knew, it was just a bunch of pubic hair. Anyway, I remember stumbling onto internet porn. I just want to give a shout out to Net Nanny for being really lenient … I don't know how I found it, but it was some admittedly soft-core images, but she had a shaved vagina. It just, like, jump-started puberty for me . It was like, 'BAM! I get it now.' Like, when you finally start enjoying the taste of beer. I was like, 'This whole lady thing. I'm into it. The whole package.' Then my mom walked in and started yelling at me. I must have just zoned out completely and didn't notice her walking down the hall or opening the door to the computer room. I lost computer access for a month. So basically, I associate my sexual awakening with deep shame. I'm sure that's screwed me up." - Adrian, 29
4. "When I first discovered masturbation, it, uh … didn't exactly coincide with my discovery of the internet and all it was capable of. I wound up hoarding a lot of my mom's women's magazines . I'd sort of hide them in my room. Not under the mattress or anything as if they were porn, but I'd stash them. As if she'd just be OK with them going missing. I'd be lucky if there were a few bikini pictures or some kind of feature on comfortable bras. Anyway, she eventually found a bunch while cleaning my room and was all, 'Why do you have them? I was looking for these.' I tried to convince her that I was into celeb gossip and recipes and DIY and stuff. At the time, I thought she bought it. But looking back, it was so obvious she didn't. She knew. She didn't take them back so … she must have known. I feel like as a kid, you think you're the first person to discover mastu
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