Her First Time

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Her First Time
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Learn the honest, non-sleazy way to attract high quality partners.
You and a girl are back at your place after a date. You sit close together. You go for the kiss, she kisses you back passionately, and suddenly you’re tearing each other clothes off. Boom, you’re having sex.
But sometimes, things are a bit more complicated. Many women are not nearly as aggressive or prepared. You may have had a great time together but she’s still hesitant and nervous. This happens especially with younger or inexperienced women.
She may want to take things slower. She may need reassurance that she’s doing the right thing. She may not want to be seen as a “slut”.
That doesn’t mean you should wait around, hoping some day she’ll be ready or make a move on you. That’s how you lose a woman’s interest. You want to be proactive, take the lead , and then calibrate accordingly.
There are three elements you need to provide so she’ll she feel ready to do the deed.
Before a woman can even become turned on, she needs to be relaxed. Her mind has to be free of worry and her body free of tension.
For her mindset, you have to create a judgment-free environment. She can’t be stressing about how she looks, what you’ll think, or if she’s being too open with her sexuality. Reassure her.
“Damn, you look irresistible/so fucking amazing.”
“You’re so beautiful/sexy, I want to touch you all over.”
For her body, remind her to relax in a soft, soothing tone. Tell her to close her eyes, lay back, and take a deep breath. Again, let her know that you want her to feel taken care of.
“I want you to feel absolutely incredible.”
“All I want to do is worship every inch of your body.”
“Just lay back and feel my hands all over your soft skin.”
Only when she’s relaxed will she be ready for you to…
If she’s going to have sex with you, she needs to get horny for you. You want her so hot and wet she can’t wait another second to have you inside her.
Take your time, there’s no rush. This is foreplay!

I know you only need 10 seconds to get going, but women need to be primed before they’re ready. You want to tease, touch, and caress her body.
Focus on her pleasure. Too many guys immediately go for getting themselves off. It doesn’t help her trust that you have her best interests in mind. If you get a girl off, she will not only reciprocate the same to you but have a much easier time wanting to move forward.
Start with less intimate touching and work your way up. Some women consider certain actions more intimate than others but here’s a general guideline of how things escalate sexually:
Don’t be afraid to mix it up a little. Take a few steps forward, go back to less intimate touching, and then continue escalating.
You also don’t have to hit every point. These are just some ideas to consider to ensure a smooth progression from foreplay to sex. Everyone is different but most women want at least 10-15 minutes before having intercourse.
Sex is a physically scarier act for most women than men. She is being completely vulnerable and allowing you to enter her body.
There’s always a fear that she’s alone with someone who could potentially overpower her and go further than she desires. You want to relieve her of that fear through your words and actions.
As you’re touching her body, say something that confirms you’ll respect her boundaries. Don’t dwell on it, just say it once with conviction.
“Tell me if you want me to slow down or stop at any point.”
“Let me know if you feel uncomfortable about anything.”
“I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”
Whatever you do, never go against your word.
Don’t get caught up in the moment and ignore a girl’s signals . If she says “stop”, “no”, or moves you off her at any time – ease off calmly. Never jerk away suddenly, look hurt, or pout. Keep calm, smile, and stay turned on. Reinforce the judgment-free environment.
Never keep going, try convince her otherwise, or brush her off by saying, “it’s okay, just relax.” You will kill all the trust you’ve worked to build.
If she’s rebuffing your advances, go back to what you were previously doing. You can even take a few minutes to softly talk to her and get her to relax again.
For example, if you took her shirt off but she didn’t want you to take her pants off, return to kissing or massaging her body. Continue pleasing her and try to move forward again in a few minutes. She may just need a little more time before she’s ready to go.
When you return to what she was hesitant about, ask her if it’s okay or gently try again. Look her in the eyes and say, “Can I take these off?”, “Are you comfortable with this?” or “Is this good?”
Don’t be afraid to ask a girl for what she wants, either. “What would make you feel amazing right now?”
If she rebuffs your advances again, I wouldn’t go further. That’s usually a clear indication she’s not comfortable yet. Continue doing what she is comfortable with. If during the current session she changes her mind, she can let you know.
And if it doesn’t happen that night, doing the above and respecting her boundaries will make her want to fuck you later. Guys worry too much about getting laid that very day. Enjoy the experience for how far it goes.
When you do that, she’s almost guaranteed to be ready next time. You’re still building immense amounts of attraction. You’re not going to end up in the friend zone .
Remember, you can’t make a girl want to have sex with you. She has to come to that conclusion on her own.
Techniques like guilt-tripping or “freeze outs” (where you ignore her until she feels so awkward/bad she sleeps with you) may work on occasion. But, you’re manipulating and pressuring her into having sex. That’s not the way to start a healthy sexual connection.
If you treat her poorly, she often won’t want to see you again. Be the guy that provides a positive, supportive, and memorable experience. Not only will she want to continue hooking up, she’ll want to further explore her sexuality with you.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this alone. If you’d like a step-by-step, tailored approach to creating magnetic, intimate relationships, let’s have a free, 100% confidential consultation call (up to 30 minutes) to discuss how we can work together. Schedule your free strategy session here.
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© 2020 Eros Consulting, Inc. DBA Nick Notas Boston. All Rights Reserved. Dating Coach Reconnected Privacy



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No matter how much advice you received from friends, family and school, no one can ever really prepare you for that first break-up, how to go about your first kiss or what on earth to do when womanhood approaches you in the form of blood flowing from your nether regions. Our pubescent years are filled with tackling these ground-breaking life events in our very different ways, some of which we don’t always find comfortable to talk about. I sat down with a plethora of ladies and questioned them on just a few of the highs and lows of ‘femaleness’ and their experiences.
‘I did kiss someone when I was 3 but I don’t think that counts (it was magical). It happened again when I was 13 with a disgusting boy at a party, it was like a washing machine and then I was gone with the wind (again, magical).’
‘When I was 18, at a house party. He asked me if I’d like to go out for some air. At this point, I had no idea what going out for air meant. He just pushed his face into mine and frankly, it was awful. But he’s now gay so I feel like it’s all worked out for the best.’
‘He was my boyfriend in year 9. We’d been out in the park, he walked me home and we kissed on my front door step. Worst moment of my life, and I don’t think I kissed another boy for a year.’
 ‘I was 13 and it was on Wandsworth Common where everyone used to go and just get really drunk. Some creepy guy dragged me off and I swear, his tongue explored my face in its entirety. S C A R R E D.’
 ‘I was 12, nearly 13 and it just happened in John Lewis. Very middle class.’
‘We were on a family holiday in the summer after Year 8. One day, I had a massive argument with my mum because she didn’t like me buying boys’ clothes. That same day, I just started bleeding. Cried on the bathroom floor for hours. The sheer irony of that day still gets me.’
 ‘I was 11 and I didn’t know what a period was. I cried because I thought I was dying and then thought I was pregnant. Cried to my mum and told her what happened. She hugged me, congratulated me on being a woman and then promptly called all the females in my family. When I came home from school that day, my brother had found out and was discovered sat on the bathroom floor crying whilst looking at pictures of me as a small child.’
‘I got mine when I was 8 or 9 and told my mum who then slapped me across the face. Apparently it’s tradition.’
‘Mine was in year 7. I remember I was in History and needed to go to the toilet. When I got up, I accidentally flashed all my friends but didn’t really think anything of it. It was when I got to the toilet that I realised I had started my period. Half my class had seen my bloody knickers.’
First time you shaved or waxed your lady-garden?
‘I think I was going to a party when I was like 15 and some people were allowed to stay over. I’m not sure what I thought would happen but I wanted to be prepared at all costs, so I stole my mum’s blunt razor and got to work. It was a real hack job. I then stayed away from boys at all costs, no one needed to see that.’
 ‘Don’t remember when it actually happened but girls started talking about it so I went home and gave shaving a try. Probably for the best because I got fingered a week later.’
 ‘I actually went for the scissors first. I wasn’t really looking and cut myself a few times which fucking hurt. Then I found my dad’s razor and ended up with a terrible shaving rash and war wounds.’
‘I was 14 or 15. I had a free house, and this guy came round. We were getting drunk and getting off with one another. Things started getting hot and heavy so I told him that I needed the toilet and I locked myself in and shaved literally everything including my forearms.’
‘I remember my first time because I was in the bath and the shower head ended up between my legs and was feeling quite nice. Got quite into it and then the shower head came off.’
‘I was pretty young, between 10 and 12, and I didn’t know what I was doing. It involved a pillow. I was basically dry-humping a pillow. My mum walked in. It was under covers but she knew. She. Knew.’
 ‘I think I was 15 and this girl had sent a video of herself masturbating to a boy, who in turn ended up sharing it with everyone. Me and my group of friends were like, “well, gonna give this a go and see what all the fuss is it about”.’
‘It was a very long time ago and I thought it was the most incredible thing in the history of the world and thought no one else could do it, almost like a secret power. Used to do it all the time and then slowed it down, because it was getting weird.’
First time you did anything sexual with a boy
‘I was 16 with a long term boyfriend. He fingered me and that was it. It was pretty good, I can’t really remember it if I’m being honest, all I know is I didn’t want to touch his penis.’
‘Everything happened on the same night. It was so painful, we just went from one thing to another. Finger, penis, done, ouch. He got a condom from his parents’ room which I realise now is really weird. I was in so much pain afterwards and then ran to the toilet and cried. Then he bought me Ben and Jerry’s which we ate in bed. Cute.’
‘Kinda half gave someone a hand-job in an ICT lesson. Classic.’
‘It was on a beanbag in my mate’s house and it was weird because my hand was down his trousers, holding his penis but I didn’t know what to do with it. You know at primary school when you’d have to put your hand in a bag and try to figure out what was in your hand? It was like that. Like a blind man trying to peel a carrot.’
‘After 3 attempts of trying and failed miserably to have sex, we gave it another go. We were passionately kissing, clothes were off, he was on top and then next thing you know, he whispered in my ear that it was in. To which I responded ‘really?’ Afterwards, I sang ‘Like a Virgin’ by Madonna.’
‘It was actually not bad, it obviously hurt a bit. Bled a bit but not a lot because I dance. The next day when I was getting the train from his back to mine, I remember being at the train station and feeling really aware that everyone knew what I had done.’
‘I’d had sexual relations with a boy about 5 minutes beforehand, and being the horny hunni that I am, another guy who was interested started getting off with me and we were just canoodling in a dark room. Another friend entered the room and unsuspectedly started chatting to us about X Factor. It was simply not the time nor the place so we decided to move the party to the downstairs bathroom and my first real sexual position was standing up doggy style. When it was over, I went home and cried a bit because I was really hungover.’
‘It was with my boyfriend in year 11 who I’d been together with for 8 months. I invited him round thinking that it would be the day it finally happened. We had one condom. He got really nervous and ripped it. It was not the day.’
 ‘It was devastating. We had an intense summer romance over 4 months. One night at Crisis I got a text from him out of the blue saying ‘I don’t think this is going to work anymore’. I didn’t speak for 5 or 6 days afterwards. He told me I had to get over it and when I stalked him on Facebook, I discovered he had gotten a girlfriend. Since then, I’ve never actually fallen for someone else.’
‘It was primary school. He was actually quite a rebel and I was attracted to the bad boy in him. I think I thought I could change him, We’d double-date with another couple and all go to the playground. But then it just fizzled out.’
‘I went to a house party. I was just not feeling the relationship anymore and he kind of brought it up whilst we were sitting with his friends. We ended up breaking up there and then but I was still staying over and had to drive him back the next day. He kept trying to spoon me in the night. It was pretty awkward.’
 ‘I was on holiday with my first ever proper boyfriend in Cyprus with some friends. We were all walking down the beach and he ran into the sea with my best friend’s little sister and they literally started getting off and having sex in the sea. He tried to talk to me but I was like, you’re fucking dumb. But it’s okay because he’s gay now.’
‘On Facebook chat, he was just like, this isn’t working. I got finished on Facebook chat. Minute of silence for me please.’
‘It was year 8 and I went to a friend’s party. We were all in the pool and we decided to get with each other. Some of the girls were topless. I really just don’t know.’
‘I kissed a friend at a house party because we wanted to make two of our male friends kiss. We kissed but they didn’t so we were pissed. Also, one time in Market Bar, someone was aggressively trying it on with me and I told me and my friend were in a lesbian relationship. He told me to prove it and frankly, I don’t like being called a liar. Sparks flew.’
 ‘I’ve never done it properly. Just a little peck but who doesn’t do that?’
‘I was on a night out and dancing, proper going for it. I was swivelling around, slut dropping and then accidentally karate punched this girl’s drink out of her hand. I was like, “so sorry I’ll buy you a drink”. So I bought her a drink and then she decided to kiss me. Didn’t really mind. The bartender was like, no PDA in this bar and proceeded to squirt the girl in the face with the soda hose. A whirlwind romance.’
First time you got horrifically drunk
‘It was on the day of our last GCSE exam. My mum kindly gave me a bottle of wine which I downed all by myself. I passed out for about 4 hours. Came about and everyone started freaking out. I staggered towards the garden. The girl whose house I was at was like ‘please don’t throw up on my mum’s garden, she just paid £400 for it.’ I was like, “I’m so sorry”, and proceeded to projectile everywhere.’
‘Me and a couple of friends went to an 18th when we were 14. Took a litre of vodka from my parents’ alcohol cabinet and drank about an eighth of it. We were all sat in the corner being sick on each other. My friend called a taxi and I was sick in my coat but fashioned it in such a manner that it was like a bag, so when the driver tried to make us pay a sickness charge, I threatened to pour it on him. That shut him up real quick.’
 ‘I was THAT girl at the first party of sixth form. Went to a party and was fed straight gin. My mate’s dad had to take me home, stopping on the way so I could throw up on the side of the road. My mum answered the door to witness me fall out of the car and hit my head on the kerb. I threw up on my mum’s feet and then was put in my bed. Threw up there too. Was still throwing up two days later. My friend’s dad still asks about me: “how’s the drunk girl?”’
‘I was visiting my sister at uni when I was 16 and she threw a house party. I got smashed before the house party on Apple Sourz jelly shots. I passed out in her roommate’s bed and threw up in her shoe closet but it was alright because her shoes were ugly.’
 ‘In my defence, it was the first time I had ever been prescribed co-codamol and didn’t know it reacted with alcohol. I was 14 and at a friend’s house party. A few of us had some drinks beforehand, very casually. Her parents were quite strict. 10 minutes later, the alcohol and co-codamol reacted. I have a vivid memory of being on the floor of her bathroom and not being able to move. I would will myself to stand up but would flop to the floor like a jellyfish. Her mum had to drive me home. I don’t think my mum has actually been angrier with me since.’
‘It was at a BBQ and I was still dealing with having been broken up with for the first time. We starting drinking at like 12 in the afternoon. Had a couple big bottles of cider, then a lot of tequila, wine, Cointreau and then 3 shots of absinthe. I then remember waking up to my mother shouting at me, showing me a picture of myself in a hospital bed. Apparently, I threw up so much, I didn’t even have to get my stomach pumped.’
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