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Toketemu has been multimedia storyteller for the last four years. Her expertise focuses primarily on mental wellness and women’s health topics.
John C. Umhau, MD, MPH, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine. He is the medical director at Alcohol Recovery Medicine. For over 20 years Dr. Umhau was a senior clinical investigator at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism of the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Watching porn can be a sign of a healthy sexual appetite . However, if you find yourself watching it excessively, this might signify that you have a porn addiction.
While having a porn addiction might seem harmless, it can be detrimental to your general well-being. People with porn addictions often use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism with stressors in their lives or as a replacement for having a healthy sexual life .
If you recognize you have a problem with the amount of porn you consume, here are some tips to help you stop, along with signs of porn addiction, and potential treatment options .
A person who has an uncontrollable desire to watch porn at any time of the day and in any space, especially where it might not be considered appropriate, might have a porn addiction.
Recognizing a porn addiction is tricky as there’s no official diagnosis for it. There’s also a thin line between people who have a healthy desire to consume porn and people who are addicted.
Here are some other signs that point to porn addiction:
There has been some controversy around recognizing porn addiction as a real addiction. However, there is enough research to point to people having real struggles with porn. Like with any addiction, if porn addiction is ignored, it can have negative consequences . 1
Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring actor/tv host Terry Crews, shares how to navigate shame, trauma, and recover from porn addiction. Click below to listen now.
If you think you might be dealing with a porn addiction, below are some tips to help you to stop.
You don’t have to have a porn addiction in order to decide that you are giving up porn. You could be doing so for religious or ethical reasons. You could also be doing so because it’s causing a rift between you and a romantic partner or simply because you just no longer want to watch porn.
Coming to terms with the reason you are giving it up, helps you stay accountable whenever you are tempted to watch it.
If any of the signs of a porn addiction listed in the section above resonate with you, then you might be dealing with a porn addiction.
Many people keep a porn addiction problem to themselves as they feel they’ll be judged by society, but remember that you are not alone.
This includes any physical or digital evidence of pornography content in your life. You need to make a clean sweep of all of that kind of content. There’s no excuse to hold on to any of it, even those vintage porn magazines that might have some sentimental value.
Once the content is readily available around you, it’s easy to slip back to old habits. On your phone, television, and other devices, you should install filters that block pornographic content and sites.
This could be a close friend who you trust or even an app on your phone that reminds you of how long you’ve come in your recovery journey and why you are doing it.
A support group helps you remember that you are not alone. It also eases your recovery journey if watching porn isn’t just a habit that you want to quit but an addiction.
These groups provide a safe, anonymous, and judgment-free zone for you to share your struggles with pornography and hear from other people who are going through similar experiences.
Trying to break a habit or recover from an addiction is a journey. Unfortunately, on that journey, you might find yourself slipping back into old habits. Whenever that happens, don’t waste any time beating yourself up.
Do your research, try more coping mechanisms and treatment options and get back on the wagon.
A trusted way to rid yourself of a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit whenever you begin to feel the urge to indulge in that bad habit. For instance, going for a run when you feel the familiar urge to watch porn is a great way to healthily distract yourself.
If you think you have a porn addiction, then simply trying to stop watching porn will prove to be incredibly difficult. So the first thing to do when considering treatment for porn addiction is to speak to a therapist . They will be able to recognize if you do indeed have an addiction and plan the next steps to take with you.
This typically includes a combination of psychotherapy and, in some cases, medication. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used approach with people who are living with addictions. CBT aims to help you recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is another popular form of psychotherapy used in addiction treatment. ACT focuses on helping you identify and accept the urges associated with watching porn and use value-based interventions to manage urges and symptoms.
If you or someone you love is displaying signs of porn addiction, it’s important to get help, as it’s challenging to overcome addiction alone. However, it’s also important to remember that watching and enjoying porn in healthy doses is perfectly fine.
de Alarcón R, de la Iglesia JI, Casado NM, Montejo AL . Online porn addiction: what we know and what we don’t—a systematic review. Journal of Clinical Medicine. 2019;8(1):91.
By Toketemu Ohwovoriole
Toketemu has been multimedia storyteller for the last four years. Her expertise focuses primarily on mental wellness and women’s health topics.
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If you’re trying to quit, know that you don’t have to do this alone—we’ve got your back. Here are a few key tips to quit porn.
This article contains affiliate links. Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.
Even after recognizing that their porn habit has become problematic, many people still have difficulty quitting porn.
Fight the New Drug is not a recovery resource, we’re an awareness-raising movement that educates on the harmful effects of porn . We acknowledge that many people who follow us have struggled with porn, and we want to encourage those people that there is hope.
If you’re trying to quit, know that you don’t have to do this alone—we’ve got your back. Here are a few key tips to quit porn.
Especially in the beginning, it may feel like quitting porn creates an emptiness in your life, but replacing those unhealthy habits with healthy ones can be super helpful.
Exercise, try new recipes, start painting —focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.
Exercise can boost neurogenesis, the formation of new cells, as well as dopamine receptors, which are key in healing the brain’s frontal cortex.
By recharging your body with the sleep, fuel, and energy it needs, you’ll be better equipped to deal with stress in healthy ways and feel better physically and emotionally.
Setbacks often happen when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT).
If you’re feeling triggered, find something more productive to distract you. Talk to a friend, take a nap, eat some cereal—whatever it takes to get yourself back into a good headspace and back on track.
Scrolling through social media at night or turning to your phone whenever you’re bored can easily lead to watching porn.
Consider not using your phone late at night, keeping it in a different room while you sleep, setting time limits, or using filtering software.
Research shows that shame actually drives people back to unhealthy behaviors rather than motivating sustainable change.
Remember: you are not a “bad” person for struggling with this. Be kind to yourself, be patient with your progress, and keep trying. Gilliland, R., South, M., Carpenter, B. N., & Hardy, S. A. (2011). The roles of shame and guilt in hypersexual behavior. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 18(1), 12–29. https://doi.org/10.1080/10720162.2011.551182 Copy 1
Unhealthy habits thrive in secrecy, so opening up about your struggles and feelings can limit the power shame can have over you. Talking to a therapist can be especially helpful, as they can help you learn healthier habits and work through any underlying issues that drive any unhealthy behaviors.
Fortify is a free , science-based recovery platform that actually works. Here’s what Fortify’s users report:
Recovery is not linear—that’s totally normal. A minor setback does not mean you have failed to reach your goal, it just means you should keep trying. It’s okay if it takes time. Be kind to yourself, and be patient.
Even if you’ve had an unwanted porn habit for most of your life, that doesn’t mean it has to be part of your life forever. It’s not a part of who you are.
You can change and live a healthier life free of porn and free of shame. There is hope, so keep trying. You got this.
Did you like that article? Help us keep our educational resources free to access! Fight the New Drug is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit, which means the educational resources we create are made possible through donations from people like you. Just one dollar can make a difference!
1 Gilliland, R., South, M., Carpenter, B. N., & Hardy, S. A. (2011). The roles of shame and guilt in hypersexual behavior. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 18(1), 12–29. https://doi.org/10.1080/10720162.2011.551182
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©Fight the New Drug, Inc. 2022, All rights Reserved. Fight the New Drug, Inc. is a U.S. 501(c)(3) public charity, EIN 26-3550143.
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The following post is geared toward those in recovery from a struggle with porn. While Fight the New Drug is not a recovery-focused resource, we encourage anyone...
The following post is geared toward those in recovery from a struggle with porn. While Fight the New Drug is not a recovery-focused resource, we encourage anyone in need of help to check out Fortify . Visit Fortify and follow their blog for more articles geared specifically toward recovery.
At Fight the New Drug, we talk a lot about the harms of pornography. We talk frequently about how it can affect our brains, ruin our relationships, etc. That information is important for society to understand but, let’s be honest, it can also get kind of depressing. So let’s look at the other side of the equation. While the effects of porn can be rough, struggling with it doesn’t make someone a “bad” person . We get a lot of stories from people who are not only going through this struggle, but who have recovered from it. Regardless of how long they’ve struggled, recovery is more than possible.
We get messages like this sent to us all the time:
“I just feel broken and I don’t know if there is any way to fix it.”
“I’ve been down for so many years and I can’t seem to pick myself up.”
“It always feels like there’s something wrong with me.”
This is a sad statement that most everyone can identify with at different times in their life, but most especially relevant for those who are struggling with addiction to anything—whether it be food, gambling, drugs, or porn. When dealing with pornography, it may seem like there is no going back after the countless hours of putting explicit images into their brain, over and over.
We know pornography affects mental and emotional health . But while porn addiction, compulsion, or obsession does harm the brain, there is good news: it is not permanent .
Think of the porn-obsessed brain just like any other part of the human body—with time, it heals. Sometimes it just needs a little help. Imagine if you had a broken arm or leg. While it is a nasty injury, it can heal completely back to normal—all you’d need is time, patience, and of course a good doctor to give you a cast.
Our understanding of how the brain works and the treatment of mental health is expanding by the day. In the past, things like addiction or depression or anxiety have always been seen as personal weakness. The misinformed idea of, “if you just try harder, you can grit your teeth and get over it.” Yeah, right.
In today’s society, we know that’s not how it works. Does that “white-knuckle” philosophy work with someone who just broke their leg and are told to keep on running? Of course not. We are learning that mental obstacles, like compulsion, are just the same.
To take some pressure off yourself, take comfort in the fact that your brain can heal from the damage done by porn, it just needs a little help to get there. Think of it like giving your body the time for bones to mend and scars to fade. Here are three tips to help this healing take place as smoothly as possible.
You can’t carry all of your weight on a sprained ankle, so you need something to keep you standing.
Think of the old song, we all need somebody to lean on . Find some people that you can rely on and accept their support. Friends, family, or trusted adults will be instrumental in your recovery. Just the simple act of telling someone about your struggle and shining light on your isolating habit will give you instant strength. It may be difficult, but it works. Don’t be scared of what they’ll say, odds are they’ll surprise you with their instant support.
Accountability partners play the exact same role as a sturdy set of crutches—they are there for you when you fall and will always help you get back up. Use these support systems when you’re feeling hurt and you’ll be back up and running in no time.
Porn may have spent a long time going to work on your mind, and it’s going to take some work to reverse the process. An addict’s lifestyle is often built around supporting their habit, everything seems to revolve around getting their next fix, even if they don’t consciously realize it. You need to drastically reformulate how you live your life so it supports your recovery, not your addiction. This is called self-care. It is basically having a concrete plan and a daily routine that keeps you on track. Keep to the schedule and you’ll be on the path to full health. Deviate from it and you’ll be back in a mental wheelchair in no time.
– Get good sleep and wake up at a respectable time.
– Read a motivational quote to start your day.
– Try to eat healthier.
– Be active—run, bike, swim, walk, anything to replace negative behaviors with good ones.
– Stay social. The more friendships, the more support.
– Identify and avoid triggers.
– Lower social media usage and other unnecessary screen time. Porn struggles thrive on idle use of electronics.
All these forms of healthy self-medicating promote positive growth in your life. We’ve met people so dedicated to their recovery from porn that they often sit down and schedule every minute of their day until they begin to build truly positive habits.
In this digital age, we will never fully be able to get out of pornography’s reach, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to put up the biggest barrier possible. Work with the people closest to you to establish internet protection and lower access on all your devices. Remain accountable to them and stay honest. Admitting you have a problem is a big first step. Know your weaknesses and work on strengthening them. Know where your trouble areas are and avoid/eliminate them all together.
Put yourself in an environment where you have the space to heal and people who want to see you back on your feet. The steps toward recovery aren’t always easy, but they are totally worth it. Sooner or later, you’ll get back to feeling 100%. Guaranteed.
For those reading this who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out Fortify , a science-based recovery platform dedicated to helping you find lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your unwanted porn habit, and track your recovery journey. There is hope— sign up today .
Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.
Fight the New Drug is an awareness campaign, dedicated to educating on the harmful effects of pornography. Our friends at Fortify are a resource for anyone who feels they may need help overcoming a porn struggle. Follow their Facebook and Instagram for more tips for recovery, and sign up for the platform to get more help. There is hope!
Are you with us? Join the movement!
©Fight the New Drug, Inc. 2022, All rights Reserved. Fight the New Drug, Inc. is a U.S. 501(c)(3) public charity, EIN 26-3550143.
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