Hell Slut

Hell Slut

The Four Levels of Slut Sleeping around carries an unfair double standard, but sluttiness does have levels.
by Nathan DeGraaf | June 21, 2006
Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices, since 1999.
Main: Man, she’s a whore?
Nathan: How can you say that? She never got paid.
Main: I stand corrected. She’s a slut.
I think it’s unfair that women are often considered sluts for sleeping around. Women say that this perception of them propagates a double standard because men are never considered sluts for rampant sexual activity. (Although, if that were truly the case, then why do so many women I know call me a slut?) And recently, because I just dumped a girl who cheated on me, I have been pondering exactly what it is that makes a girl a slut .
Now, when I get to pondering, well, sometimes I just have to get out a pen and write down my thoughts. This was one of those times. You see, there are many different kinds of sluts, and there is not one hard and fast rule that simply defines a woman as a slut. But there are (at least) four levels of slut.
“Sadly, the Cheating Slut is really what most men mean when they say ‘slut' or ‘whore.' The first two levels are just people being people.”
This woman is not technically, by definition, a slut. She is the woman who gets stereotyped as a slut simply because she likes to fuck around. This woman typically has no boyfriend (or a boyfriend who doesn’t care that she fucks other men) and simply goes out looking to get laid. She doesn’t feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it’s unfair that other women degrade her for this. She is right. She is also one of the reasons I get up in the morning.
Of the last four women I’ve slept with, three fall into this category because (as far as I know), they were not cheating on anyone, were not lying about who they fucked, and were not asking for anything more than sex. Women love sex, too; they should not be blamed for seeking it. Stereotypes hurt everyone. Ironically enough, usually other women hate this girl because she can fuck who she wants, while men bare her no ill will. She is, after all, simply doing what she likes. And men, for the most part, respect that.
Unlike the whores that make up the second level of slut.
Much like the Sexually Liberated Woman, this slut has no boyfriend. She does however, and for whatever reason, feel she needs to lead men on. She fucks several different men at one time while tricking the men she fucks into thinking that they are pursuing a relationship. Which is to say that every one of the suckers she fucks happens to think that they’re the slut’s soon-to-be boyfriend. She also loves seeing men fight over her, which may be (at least in part) the motivation for her leading these poor bastards on.
The main thing that separates her from the Level 1 Slut is that she is not honest with the men in her life because she derives pleasure from wrapping suckers around her little finger. The women representing this level of slut usually leave me alone. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure the Garden Variety Slut has a radar for suckers, and because I am not one, I hardly have to deal with these bitches.
I can’t say the same for the sluts in levels 3 and 4.
Cheating Sluts come in three different categories. There are those who simply cheat on a boyfriend they’ve had for a few months and then tell him (no big deal); those who cheat on a guy they’ve dated for a few months, never tell him, and force him to find out from his friends (a slightly bigger deal because these sluts lack honesty); and then there are the worst kind—the sluts who fuck around on a man they’ve been with for years and never tell him about it.
The first girl I fucked after the breakup belonged in last category. The bitch was engaged. She fucked me late in the afternoon and left early in the evening because her man would soon be arriving from work. To her fiancée, I say, “I hope your parents are proud of you for preparing to marry a 21-year-old waitress with no education. Oh, and by the way, I’ve never met a girl who had a tell for her female ejaculation before. I mean, her leg quivers like an epileptic in mid seizure and then she squirts. That’s kind of weird. And yes, I like her body, too.”
Sadly, the Cheating Slut is really what most men mean when they say “slut” or “whore.” The first two levels are just people being people, not people being disloyal bitches. What separates this level of slut from the fourth and final level of slut, is, quite simply, the motivation for cheating.
Fortunately for me, I live in a college community where finding a man with his own car, no roommates and a steady income is like hitting the jackpot for most girls. Unfortunately for me, this means I often get hit on by the Money Grubbing Slut.
The saddest thing about the Money Grubbing Slut is that she really does like (or even love) her boyfriend. She simply expects more from her man in terms of monetary consideration. She doesn’t make her own money and can’t live off her boyfriend’s petty McDonald’s wages, so she seeks out men who will take her to nice places and buy her shiny objects. This is the worst kind of whore because she’s pissing on love and respect all in the name of a few dollars.
I love promising this girl I will take her some place nice, then fucking her and ordering a pizza, explaining to her that I’m broke. After this, I can usually count the seconds until she leaves, feeling used. Then I double check my wallet; you can’t trust a Money Grubbing Slut (at least, not until she starts making her own money, in which case, the nickname gets changed to “Materialistic Shark,” which is unfair—I mean, why blame a girl for wanting money and making it?).
So guys, the next time you take a woman home from a bar, or fuck her in the bathroom at a party, or on the rooftop of a shopping mall, or in the grass median on the side of a highway (you know, whatever works for you), you may want to consider exactly what level of slut you are fucking. Remember, it’s not wrong if it’s just sex for sex’s sake (hell, female sexual liberation was the best thing to come out of the women’s rights movement). But if she’s in a relationship with some other guy (or guys) when you first fuck her, odds are she’s not the kind of girl you want to spend six bucks on.
Then again, few women are worth six bucks.
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On... See full profile »
When we were told to chase our dreams, nobody mentioned they’d be mostly anxiety dreams.

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Photographer Bill Ray spent weeks on the road with the feared bikers
YOU can almost hear the roar of the Harley Davidsons and smell the exhaust fumes as you look at these amazing Hells Angels pictures from 1965.
The black and white pictures were taken by photographer Bill Ray, who spent several weeks with the California chapter of the biker gang when they were a relatively new phenomenon.
Bill and writer Joe Bride spent their days and nights with Buzzard, Hambone, Big D and other Angels as well as their equally tough "old ladies".
He recalled: "This was a new breed of rebel.
“They didn't have jobs. They absolutely despised everything that most Americans value and strive for — stability, security.
“They rode their bikes, hung out in bars for days at a time, fought with anyone who messed with them.
“They were self-contained, with their own set of rules, their own code of behaviour. It was extraordinary to be around.”
Bill followed the bikers on a major rally from San Bernardino to Bakersfield, California – a 130 mile trip.
He told TIME Life: “The Bakersfield run was around the clock, three days and nights. In Bakersfield, I slept on the floor of the Blackboard Cafe — the bar that the Angels basically lived in while they were there."
The pair gained the trust of the Angels after an initial meeting in which Joe Bride was blindfolded and driven hundreds of miles to a secret location.
They also talked to the women, who flocked around the bikers and travelled with them.
Bill added: “The girls weren't there in chains, or against their will. They had to want that life if they were going to be accepted by the Angels.
“These guys were kings of the road. I don't think they ever felt they had to look around for girls. Girls came, and they had their pick. Then they'd tell them where to sit and what to do."
The Hells Angels were started on March 17, 1948,in Fontana California when several small motorbike clubs – including the P***ed Off B*****ds of Bloomington – merged.
The name was suggested by Arvid Olsen, a friend of the founding Bishop family, who had served in the US Air Force Flying Tigers squadron – dubbed Hell’s Angels – in World War II.
In the following decade, chapters of the club were founded in San Francisco, California, Gardena, Fontana, California, Oakland and California.
In the 1960s the gangs became part of the counterculture movement which originated in San Francisco, headed by the likes of Ken Kesey, Alan Ginsberg and Jerry Garcia.
The ‘Death’s Head’ logo was design to Frank Sadilek, past president of the San Francisco chapter in 1953. Before that date the jacket emblem was copied from the insignia of the 85th Fighter Squadron and the 552nd Medium Bomber Squadron.
The first London chapters sprung up after Beatle George Harrison invited members of the San Francisco Angels to stay at Apple Records, in 1968.
Today, there are 425 chapters in 50 countries and, although the members deny they are anything more than motorbike enthusiasts, police and intelligence agencies in many nations regard them as criminal gangs,
Past alleged criminal activity includes drug dealing, trafficking in stolen goods, and extortion.
In November 1972, three members were convicted for the rape of a 14-year-old girl who was dragged off the street and assaulted in front of a baying crowd in Winchester and in 1979, 24 Angels were jailed or given suspended sentences after a brawl between the Windsor and Brockenhurst chapters in which one leader was shot three times in the head.
In the late 1990s British Hells Angels raged a two year turf war with the Outcasts, in London and East Anglia and in 1998, two members of the rival gang were killed in a clash at a concert in Battersea.
In 2008, a brawl between 30 Hells Angels and members of their rival gang, The Outlaws, broke out on a plane from Alicante and police found knuckledusters, a machete, hammers and a meat cleaver had been carried onto the plane.
To join the club, enthusiasts must have a valid driver's license, a motorcycle over 750cc and must be voted unanimously into the club.
It is said the club excludes paedophiles and anyone who has applied to become police or prison officers.
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