He S Short And Plump

He S Short And Plump
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If You Are Short, Fat, Older or An Asian Man, You Must Read This. But Especially If You’re Short.

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If you’re a regular reader, you probably knew that I was on the CBS Early Show in July. Appearing with me was one of my all-time favorite clients, Tom Pandolfo. Charming, charismatic, successful, warm, athletic… Tom has it all. The only thing missing in his life is a woman. So, after hiring me as his dating coach, we set to work in rebranding him on Match.com.

We took new professional photos. We had Tom fill out my long questionnaire and submit to an hour of questions from me on the phone. We wrote two new profile essays that were unique, funny and confident. We renamed him “LookMaNoHair.”
And we watched as his in-box filled up with interested women.
You can see what a great experience it was in this CBS Early Show clip:
What I haven’t yet mentioned is that Tom Pandolfo is 5’3″.
I didn’t want to mention it for the same reason that Tom didn’t want to mention it in his profile: because it’s irrelevant to anything that makes him a good accountant, husband, or father. Yet his height defines him, since it has prevented otherwise interested women from being interested in him over the course of his entire life.
Height is irrelevant to anything that makes a man a good husband or father.
This instantly reminded me of a story that ABC did years ago on this very issue.
To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS’ Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who’d made millions by the age of 25.
Nothing worked. The women always chose the tall men. Sherr asked whether there’d be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. One of the women replied, “Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers.” Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Another said she’d have considered th e shorter men, if the taller men had been described as “child molesters.”
Lest you think this is an example of reality TV finding evidence to support a story, Tom tried his own experiment last week. Sure enough, few women give a fair shake to a man who is 5’3”, no matter what else he has going for him.
I’m going to let Tom take it from here.
So I tried changing my profile for three days just to see what the difference was between being 5’3″ and 5’10”.  I wanted to know if height was the only difference and the constant deal breaker.  So I moved my profile from Pittsburgh and posted it for 3 days in a town where nobody knew me (Philadelphia). Here’s what I found:
This proves, in stark and undeniable terms, two things:…
Life — and people — can be incredibly unfair. We talked about this just the other day . People want what they want. They’re attracted to what they’re attracted to. And no amount of complaining is going to change it.
Oh, and I am one helluva dating coach . 60 unsolicited contacts in three days? Six replies from six emails sent? Come on. That’s pretty damn good!
Okay, I’m kidding about the last part, but only because I’m so serious about the rest of this. Really, it kills me.
Why, in God’s name, is it important for women to stand on tiptoes to kiss a guy?
Believe me, Tom is no “woe-is-me” kind of guy. He’s just been confronted with a very ugly reality that has shaken his confidence in people. And even though we had good initial results, the fact remains, empirically: women don’t want short men .
And although you can feel free to substitute “older women”, “older men”, “heavier women”, or “Asian men” , I honestly feel that nobody gets a rawer deal than short guys.
Honestly, ladies…You can get your own dishes from the top shelf. You don’t really need to feel “protected” from the dangers of suburbia. And why, in God’s name, is it important to stand on your tiptoes to kiss a guy?
So how about it, women? Is there any legitimate reason not to go out with this amazing, amazing man?
Talk to me. I want to hear the truth.
Honestly? It’s because I like to feel small next to a guy. I’ve been insecure about my weight my whole life. A tall, broad man does wonders for making me feel dainty next to him.
Why do need to feel small next to a guy and feel dainty? I feel like I’ve been transported to the 1950s. You make no sense. Today’s women are so weak and pathetic.
Hey, that’s not fair. It’s rude to call her sad and pathetic. That is just her preference as many people have. Same way some men are absolutely not attracted to fat women or skinny women. Could it be also that the women HE WANTS simply do NOT WANT him?
I’m beginning to think the problem isn’t short, fat, bald, skinny, big noses, little noses, crossed eyes or what have you. I think a real sense of entitlement has crept into male/female relationships.
I think the rudeness that abounds between men and women might be a bigger barrier than anything.
Refusing to date a short guy isn’t a preference. It’s a deal breaker. I have a preference for brunettes but I’d still date a blonde. Too many women use “preference” to try and not sound like shallow bitches. If you refuse to date someone based on one thing that’s completely outside of their control, that has nothing to do with preference. Refusing to date a guy SOLELY because he is short is shallow by definition . Having a preference for taller guys is one thing; flat out refusing to date a guy who’s short is completely another.
What if you’re refusing to date him because he’s short and unattractive and doesn’t have a good job and he doesn’t want kids, etc?
And men are plenty shallow, too. How come it’s okay for them to say that they’re just not attracted to someone (for whatever reason), but when women say it it’s because they’re shallow bitches?
When it comes to being shallow, women are worse than men.
Okay, we can all want what we want. But it is typically women who consider that they often settle for a “lesser men”. Men don’t settle, they don’t think that way. You women are degrading in many ways. Men when they decide on a women, don’t typically think they could have gotten someone higher on their list. After all that a man can do for a women, to have her consider him a lesser man do to height is very insulting.
In mating mechanism, taller preference is of course one way to tell that the man is healthy — same as beautiful looks and slim body to women. We’re likely to choose the best gene in purpose of bearing an healthy child. It’s not unfair. But without being tall, dispositional characters of men (humorous, intelligent, creative) can be a substitution for that matter — not to mention how personality takes the most part in long term relationship. Not like most men, women are not SO attracted by looks. But how about fat and ugly women out there, do they still got a chance? Yes, if you’re worried so much about being fat, go to the gym. And looks, believe it or not, we tend to get attracted to someone who has similar face. Despite you’re being ugly, there’s no reason to reject someone who looks close enough to yourself.
Most women I know they want these rich, handsome, tall, intelligent, and funny, of all possible men out there. Sure, there’s nothing wrong about that. But if you don’t always get what you want, try to accept the reality instead of being shallow bitches.
“Could it be also that the women HE WANTS simply do NOT WANT him?”

Head: meet nail.
I’m a 5’6 bald man. I’m also naturally  skinny (ie: skinny arms) in a heathly way. I happen to be a great all-around athlete and musician, amongst many other talents and attributes.  I’m also a good person raised from a great family.  I have been walking over taller men in numerous activities and engagements all my life, constantly being underestimated (including sports, schooling, manners, achievements, social life, etc.)
All that being said, are all you women out there still saying you would rather have a mediocre shmuck with a much lower overall value just because he is 4-6″ taller?  That sucks lol
We are all entitled to our preferences, but some preferences can make us look sad and pathetic. Speaking as a short male, standing a shameful 5’7″ I agree that lady anonymous is sad and pathetic.
For women, height isn’t a “preference”.  Women get violently defensive here because they won’t just own it and instead they flip it on men “well GUYS are superficial TOO!”
NO.  They ARE NOT.  And women KNOW that’s BS
A short guy will *never get a date at all*
A TALL guy *still* has to be handsome enough, fit enough, have clear skin, be hairless, have great hair or look great bald, be well hung… on and on.  And that’s *before* personality and wealth.
Men look at a woman and she is either “hot” to them or not.  And guess what?  To 80% of guys 90% of women are “hot”
Women can’t even *imagine* what that is like.
Women find 80% of men “unattractive”.  That’s statistically proven.
Guess what?  Only 15% of men are above 6′.  Coincidence? No.
So women, you are honestly full of it.
You have a LAUNDRY list of things you MUST have and *anything* less is “settling”
And TOP of that list is a *requirement* that *85% of men cant meet*!!!!
Sorry, but that is NOT how it is for guys.
Women would rather stand in line with 20 of their girlfriends for the 6’2″ guy, then wonder why after having women throw themselves at him for 20 years he’s “entitled”, than “settle” for a short guy.
No different than being rude and pathetic by virtue of the same standards when men don’t want heavy women. Guess we don’t want to “feel small” next to our women:)
dont compare a guys attraction to women who aren’t fat to women’s attraction to only tall guys. A woman can gain and lose weight. It us often a direct reflection if whether she takes care of herself. A guy has no control over his height.
If this is the way you speak to and about women, I believe your height has very little to do with your inability to find a partner. I have known many short guys who never had issues with dating ~ they had personalities that outmeasures their short statures.
I bet you don’t go out on dates with any of these amazing shorter guys…
Ironic, tall guys can speak anyway they want does not stop them from getting women. Nice try though…
I am a 5’0 female, and sure, I too find a man towering over me extremely attractive. But I am also so short that it does not matter if a guy is 5’3 or 6’3! No girl wants to be taller than her guy, but no self respecting guy wants to have to look up when he talks to his girl! If she doesn’t like you for you then she is not worth it. I promise you, Short Girl Nation is not as small as you would think. I am sure if you look hard enough you can find the girl that will complement your height perfectly!
I completely agree. I have only met a handful of (short) men who are secure in themselves, are incredible charming and intelligent and THAT is what makes them attractive! However, many (short) men have internalized a negative self-image which has made them impossible to even speak to because they are so blantantly insecure.
Online dating is tough when it comes to any physical drawback for any person because that is the only basis on which people are being judged. If you’re intelligent, charming and most importantly, secure in yourself, the world is replete with women who wouldn’t give a damn about a physical drawback if they were to meet you in person – not online.
Interesting, that while he complains about women not wanting him for being short, he makes a clear preference for PETITE women…….so really, pot calling the kettle black
I guess you are right, it looks dumb.I’m 5’5″ an my nice fat “thing” would really look ridiculous compared to my short height, an your tall stature.
Not wanting to date a heavy girl is nothing like not wanting to date a short guy. Heavier people can go to the gym, diet, and in the most extreme cases, surgery. Short men have no such options.
Women these days are not “weak and pathetic ” as you say. Not all women want to feel small and dainty next to a man, but they also don’t want to feel like a giant compared to one as well. Something feels off being with a short man. No body wants to pick up their boyfriend to set em at the dinner table.
The truth is that short men are inferior in terms of physical attraction, intelligence, strength, etc. But with these days being concerned about hurting others’ feelings, no one wants to admit the truth. Don’t blame him for feeling this way about women. Rejection after rejection can make you lose any sense of acceptance of yourself and can cause you to try to find who is responsible for it, and it’s more hopeful to blame weak and pathetic bitches than to admit your place in nature.
Sepehr

I have a suspicion you’re a  short man trying to pass for some tall man bad ass advice.
It’s self haltingly adorable.



Anyway,  how about let us women choose whoever the fuck we are attracted to instead of blaming them for being superficial shallow bitches? Poster above is right something just feel off with shorter men. Like they never really reach adulthood. From what I read shorter  men usually stop their growth spur much earlier than tallerpeers so it’d make sense to rather be attracted at traits that indicate more robust sexual/reproductive health.

You wouldn’t have to pick me up, but I think my 7 could give you a lift.Hee, hee.
That’s funny as hell
#killedit #imdead
Unless you’re dating a dwarf, you’re not going to have to pick up your man to sit him at the table. But as you said, women like to feel dainty. I think that has to do with their self-esteem and self-image. I’m not putting blame on them for having these sort of complexes because society bombards us with these “norms” but don’t you think that constant rejection from women for being short would do damage to a short man? It’s a two-way street. Women can’t be shallow when they’re just as insecure… “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
I just reread your post, and noticed you said “not all woman want to feel dainty” but the studies mentioned in this article clearly show that MOSTLY all women prefer taller men.
Basically women are just confused because all they do is just feel things. Their emotions f-up their thought processes.
I am 5’7″and my girlfriend is 5’5″. She has no problems with the height. I can cuddle her and make her feel small. I can pick her up and toss her over my shoulder. She is not a petite woman either. In fact I am 150 lbs and she is 165lbs. Shes a beautiful woman, so I do not care what her weight number is. Or what others think of me saying that. Its the truth. Short men can still make a woman feel nice and petite as well. Really, if your height is not there, build strength and muscle. Wear straight legged pants to make your legs seem longer and boots so the ankle rests around the heel and not the bottom of the foot. I become 5’9″ doing that little illusion. Women wear make up to look unblemished, I wear the right clothes to look taller. Lol.
I think you’ve mistaken boyfriend with child. Unless of course they’re 5 years old in which case you have bigger problems than the height of your partner. Unless of course you’re 4-7 years old in which case kudos to your sentence structuring at such a young age
It might be pathetic…but men make these same excuses when they’re talking about fat or unattractive women. The mantra is: I can’t help who I’m attracted to… you can’t make me be attracted to someone who isn’t… biology… blah blah blah
For the record, I’m a petite woman (read very thin) who’s 5’4 and I did date men who were my height. I have an admitted preference for much taller men (husband is 6’4 and most of my boyfriends were over 6 feet tall), but at least two “short” men turned my head because they had an engaging personality and were in good shape. (One was a Marine and you would have thought that guy was a giant from the level of confidence. Way sexier than many very tall men.)
Along with not wanting to feel like a land whale next to your date, you also have to field stupid comments from everyone around you. If your guy is confident, you can get through it. If he’s not… Let’s just say I’ve seen plenty of shorter men dump their taller girlfriends for a smaller female. It’s probably because they get insecure about the sizeism too.
Along with not wanting to feel like a land whale next to your date, you also have to field stupid comments from everyone around you.
I’ve always believed that the societally engineered taboo (which plays upon the lesser effect of natural preference), is exactly why there is such a high percentage of women that won’t date short men.  Note- I said “short” men, not “shorter”. Even if a 5’6 guy is taller than his girl, there is still a bias against said guy, in most cases.
Can you all imagine if the societal taboo and prejudice were absent? I’d bet anything that many more women would be find with dating a short guy.
Julia has hit the nail right on the head although I cannot reply directly to that comment it’s n
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