He Came In My Mouth

He Came In My Mouth

Plus: I’m a professional dominatrix, and I fell in love with a client!

by
Dan Savage
July 11th, 2014 August 29th, 2020
"I live in D.C. and want local news."
"Y'all are doing real local D.C. journalism."
" Washington City Paper has made me feel like I am part of the D.C. community."

I am a straight female who was a dominatrix for a while—and out of all the jobs I’ve had, I loved it the most. Working as a secretary—one with a master’s in writing—wasn’t that hard to beat, I guess. But professional dommes aren’t immune to workplace romances, and I fell in love with a client. Long story short, we are still together after a year and a half, after I closed my practice and sold (most of) my toys because he didn’t want to be with a woman who was still practicing this kind of physical intimacy with others. Fair enough. But the list has grown longer. His jealousy flared when I told him that I went to lunch with a male friend that I’d played with before, and again when he found an old picture on my computer of me blowing my ex. (Snooping sucks when someone’s not mature enough to handle what they find.) But the latest and most bitter pill is that he no longer wants me to write anything about my experiences—not because it might cause professional fallout if people knew about him dating a former pro domme (notwithstanding the fact that he was a client once), but because he doesn’t want me to think about the experiences I’ve had. Fuck, Dan, I love this guy, but “retiring” has never been so hard and so scary. I honestly miss the sex-positive community and the impact (ha) I had on people who decided—for whatever reason—to pay a professional to share this creative, spiritual, eros-infused intimacy with them, if only for a few hours every month or so. It seemed like I needed to give that up to have a marriage and family, which, as I get into the later half of my 30s, seems like I better get going on if I want this to happen. DTMFA, I know, but why has it been so hard to do this time?

—Despairing Over My Man’s Expectations

“DOMME’s letter struck a chord with me, because I was once in a relationship with a guy who did very similar things,” said Mistress Matisse, a professional dominatrix, writer, and sex-worker-rights activist. “He knew exactly who I was when we started the relationship—just like DOMME’s guy did—and he said it was fine. But once I got emotionally invested, that all changed. He tried to control me by making me feel insecure, like I was a flawed person and my only chance for a relationship was him—who else would be willing to be with an (ick) sex worker? As dumb as it sounds now, I think part of what blinded me to what he was doing was the fact that I was a dominatrix! Surely a dominant woman could not be in an abusive relationship, right? Wrong. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did.”

And that’s exactly what Matisse thinks you need to do: DTFMA, DOMME. But Matisse isn’t telling you anything you don’t already know. So why is it so hard?

“It’s ‘so hard’ because she’s in a relationship with an abusive, controlling man who’s been systematically tearing down her confidence and her sense of self for a year and a half,” said Matisse. “He’s made her give up things that were positive and meaningful to her, he gets angry when she sees her friends, and now he’s trying tell her what she’s allowed to think? This flaming hypocrite isn’t just chipping away at her self-esteem, he’s going after it with a jackhammer!”

Matisse doesn’t want you giving your boyfriend a second chance, DOMME, and neither do I. His controlling, slut-shaming behavior is simply unforgivable. “DOMME’s boyfriend is leveraging all the power of a sex-negative world to make her think she has to give up all of who she is, her past and her future—even her own mind—to be in this relationship. Leave him. She shouldn’t agree to talk it over, or try to understand his feelings, or work out a compromise.” He might pretend to make some bargain with her, like telling her that if she married him, or had a child with him, then he would possibly feel OK about her writing about her own life. Don’t fall for this,” said Matisse. “Her thinking about, writing about, or even being a dominatrix is not the problem. He is the problem. If DOMME sticks around, she’ll just be giving her boyfriend a chance to do more damage than he already has. She should leave and not look back—and she should spend some time with a therapist. This guy has planted so much poison in her head, more than she can even see right now. She needs to dig it all out, so she can move on to a happy relationship with a man who loves her exactly as she is. And trust me, DOMME, those guys are out there.”

Follow Mistress Matisse on Twitter @mistressmatisse. —Dan

I’m a straight guy, and my girlfriend just read my journal. I’d written some pretty harsh things in there about her. But despite my questions about our relationship, I really do want to see whether we can work through our issues. I believe that we have a strong connection despite having very different personalities. Although I wrote some very harsh things about her personality, I don’t question the strength of our bond. I feel guilty that she saw some of the things I wrote, but I am also angry that she read my journal. What do I say to her? —Stupid Conflict About

“Good-bye.” She invaded your privacy, SCARED, which was bad enough. But if you were so stupid as to put “Things That Cannot Be Unsaid” into writing—now “Things That Cannot Be Unread”—then I don’t see how this relationship can be salvaged. —Dan

I’m a big fan! (I am also not a native English speaker, so my letter may sound a bit too formal.) I’m a straight girl with a question regarding oral sex. My boyfriend wants to come in my mouth. I can deal with the taste, but in order to climax, my boyfriend needs to pump his penis very fast. He needs to do this at a speed I can’t match even with my hands. This fact makes it very hard to contain his dick in my mouth. He also thrusts, which makes me feel choked, and I pull away. Is there something fixable here or is this simply a question of “what he needs to do to come” and I consequently have to learn to deal with it? I hope this question doesn’t sound too silly. I’m not very experienced! —No Signature For Wonderer

Your question isn’t silly, NSFW, and I’m happy to answer it for you.

Most men need to thrust during oral to come—if oral isn’t foreplay prior to thrust-based vaginal or anal penetration—and that thrusting action can present problems for even the most enthusiastic and experienced cocksucker. The solution: Shorten your boyfriend’s cock by wrapping a fist (or two) around the base of his shaft, and let him thrust through your wet fist(s) and into your mouth. Since your fist(s) can grip his dick firmly, NSFW, you can relax your mouth a bit—you don’t need to maintain a suction seal during this stage of the blowjob. You relax your mouth and jaw, your boyfriend thrusts in and out, his cock won’t go all the way to the back of your throat (so no choking), and your clenched fist(s) provide(s) the necessary friction and pressure to get him off. —Dan
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Spg100 , Bicaptain My Captain and FWKbi like this.

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My first load was during a threesome at the coaxing of my girlfriend. The load was more than I could handle.
I swallowed but not fast enough, his semen drooled down my chin.

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My first load in my mouth happened when i was sucking my first dick I was really into giving a great blow job for my first time. I probably should have known he was going to blow in my mouth as he moaned and his knees went a bit weak. But at the time he had his hands on my head, holding me on this dick I took it all and found I loved that
My first load in my mouth happened when i was sucking my first dick I was really into giving a great blow job for my first time. I probably should have known he was going to blow in my mouth as he moaned and his knees went a bit weak. But at the time he had his hands on my head, holding me on this dick I took it all and found I loved that

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Whose dick was it? How'd you know him, what got you to suck him? Did he suck you?

Bicaptain My Captain and FWKbi like this.

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It was at a gay men's bathhouse. I went because i wanted to try it. I found I loved it. His dick was so nice in my mouth. Yes he sucked me too, and i went on to suck three other dicks that first day - went back the next day for more cock

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I am meeting a guy tomorrow and intend taking my first 'cum in mouth' from him. Must admit, I am nervous that I will hate it and gag but ts something I just HAVE to do, at least once.
How did it and you feel when you took your first load of cum into your mouth?

I allow it until about the 10th blow job I gave. I hooked up with this other married guy who was wanting to mutual suck but wanted a guy willing to let him cum in his mouth. He said his wife of 18 years only allowed it once and freaked her out so much she never did so again. Being I was wanting to do so but hadn't yet I hooked up with him intending to provide him what he wanted. He invites me into the living room as we did chat for a bit about sucking dick and cumming in the mouth that's sucking. I told him I've sucked cock but have yet to take a load in my mouth and am ready to try. He proceeded to take his pants off and out flopped a really nice flaccid cock of about 7". He says "Well, how about taking a load from this?" I slid off the couch between his legs and took his soft cock into my mouth. I love the feel of a cock growing hard as I slowly suck him harder and harder. It didn't take long for his cock to harden to about 8 1/2" as I was taking all of him down. He says "Damn, a deep throater and a load taker"...Mmmm, I said. He was really enjoying it saying his wife never sucked his cock this well. After about 15 minutes of sucking his cock he says "Oh, shit...Here I cum!" I held the head of his cock tightly between my lips as I felt him shooting into my mouth. He was pretty loud to as I held tight until he finished cumming. I felt a good 7 squirts shooting into my mouth. I slowly pulled up off his cock having swallowed his cum. Another first, as he was more than pleased and filled with compliments for a job well done. After that day, I've taken every load into my mouth as I love how it feels shooting in and doesn't every guy love a swallower? He became a regular with me for a few months after that first time with him. He never did suck me that day, but I didn't mind at all knowing I exceeded his wishes by providing the ultimate blow job.

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. First time I swallowed was the first time I sucked he was an older man as soon as I felt his cock in my mouth I loved the texture and the taste and him telling me how good it felt excited me I couldn’t wait for him to cum I loved tasting his pre-cum I really got excited when he said he was close to cumming and asked me if I wanted it in my mouth I shook my head yes then he moaned I’m cumming I felt his cock pulsate and I felt his cum hitting the back of my throat it felt like a lot warm and thick I swallowed it as it pumped out

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My first load was during a threesome at the coaxing of my girlfriend. The load was more than I could handle.
I swallowed but not fast enough, his semen drooled down my chin.

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S
Can't decide how to take it tomorrow when I do this for the first time.
Cock in mouth and take the whole load or cock out of mouth with mouth open so he can aim for my mouth?
S
Can't decide how to take it tomorrow when I do this for the first time.
Cock in mouth and take the whole load or cock out of mouth with mouth open so he can aim for my mouth?

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Well, how did your cock sucking session go?

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I was 16 and with my first real boyfriend who was 15. A few months earlier I had dated an older guy for a little while and we kissed some and I had let him kiss my b****** , but that's all. My current boyfriend and I had "gone all the way." We had made out a lot, he had kissed and licked my b****** many times, I had given him several hand jobs and put him in my mouth before, he had eaten me which felt great. Before taking my virginity he had fingered me several times - which was actually pretty painful at first. Looking back I know it was the fingering and petting that actually tore and stretched my hymen the most. Our first time together felt pretty good. He was gentle. It lasted about 15 minutes on the couch in my parent's basement before he came in me (no condom). One day I was on my period and he was h**** so I started giving him head. He was laying on a couch and I was kneeling beside him on the floor, head bobbing up and down. He was getting really hard, he was starting to moan, and I could really taste his seeman starting to flow. He was starting to thrust into my mouth a little using his hips. Suddenly he thrust deeper and started to c** in my mouth. So much came out so fast. I was really surprised and didn't know what to do. My first reaction was to swallow. I remember his c** being very salty and burning my throat slightly as it went down. I kept him in my mouth until he stopped c****** , swallowed the rest of it, and came up for a breath of air. Susan F.

I had a regular for many years. He would have me suck him hard, then he would f*** me in the ass. He always wore a condom. When he neared his climax, he would rip off the condom, and c** in my mouth. 🍆💦💦💦💦👅

I have been sucking c*** for decades. I was sucking a man one day. He released a burst of fluid. I thought he had c** . When he released another burst, I realized it was p*** , but I didn’t pull away. I kept sucking & swallowing hi
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He Came In My Mouth

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