Having Sex In The Butt

Having Sex In The Butt
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You’ve explored anal play for the first time , you’ve played with a few toys , and now you’re ready to put that P in the A. Here’s your guide to everything you need to know when trying anal for the first time.
Anal sex is pretty polarizing. A lot of people love it, and a lot of people don’t even understand the temptation to try it. No one is should be forcing you to try anal, but there are a few compelling reasons to give it a go:
If your interest isn’t slightly piqued by this point, I can’t help you. But if you’re intrigued, read on!
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
Just like with any other type of sex, you have to take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal. You can’t get pregnant, but you can transmit STIs through anal sex. In fact, transmission rates are higher for anal sex than for most other sexual activities, since anal tissues are sensitive and susceptible to microtears. Use a condom unless you’re already fluid-bonded with your partner.
The hygiene factor is one of the biggest reasons people tend to shy away from anal sex. A lot of guys are worried about poo-dick (yes, that’s the official term for it). We won’t lie to you; your penis is probably going to come into contact with traces of fecal matter. But the key word here is traces . Poop slides through the rectum and anus when you’re on the toilet, but it doesn’t hang out there the rest of the day. Here are some steps you can take to keep things as clean as possible:
In the end, you’re probably way more paranoid about the cleanliness factor than necessary. Anal sex is actually pretty clean, and it’s likely that you won’t notice anything when the deed is done and you’re pulling out of anal town.
If you’re the pitcher in this scenario, it’s usually best to let the catcher take the lead with hygiene. They’re likely just as concerned about cleanliness as you are, and you don’t want to shame them by dictating how they should take care of their body.
Most anal virgins are bound to be a little nervous at first, so give yourself plenty of time to get aroused. Do the usual things you do when you’re naked together. If you’re the receiving partner, an orgasm beforehand will help your muscles relax.
Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex. Your rectum is very tight and doesn’t create lubrication on it’s own, like a vagina does, so you need lube to help things slide in properly . Lube will also prevent painful tugging and tearing of the skin. Try a silicone lube like Pjur Original Bodyglide or a water based lube like Wicked Jelle . Put lube directly on the asshole itself, and onto the penis, strap-on, or condom. Use a lot. Even if it seems like a laughable amount, it’s necessary. Trust us.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
When it comes to penetration itself, it’s usually best to let the receiving partner be in control, at least initially. They’re the ones at risk of experiencing pain. Dictating the pace and depth of penetration will minimize pain and ease any lingering nerves. One of the best positions for first-time anal is doggystyle. It allows the receiv er to be in control of the movement, and go as slowly as possible. Plus, doggystyle helps open up that whole area back there. Side-by-side spooning (where you’re facing the same direction) is also a good beginner position, though the pitcher will have slightly more control than the catcher.
When you’re getting started, go as slow as possible. Pretend you’re actually in slow motion, and try moving at half-speed. The receiver should focus on keeping their muscles relaxed. You may feel yourself instinctively tensing up, so keep taking deep breaths and trying to release that tension. You’re putting a big thing into a small hole, so expect that there will be some discomfort (the amount will vary from person to person). Some people will experience a “hurts-so-good” type of sensation, but others might feel “bad pain” that feels sharp or stinging. If you’re unsure what kind of pain it is, err on the side of caution and ask your partner to stop and give you a moment to relax. , Don’t ever push yourself to keep going if it doesn’t feel right. Keep working your way down the shaft of the penis slowly. Don’t start thrusting in and out until you’ve achieved complete penetration, and the receiver is comfortable with moving forward.
Once you’re both feeling at ease, you can pick up the pace and start thrusting more. You want to avoid pulling all the way out and pushing back in (this can lead to pain), so try to limit thrusts to a small range of motion. Make sure to keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Now’s also the opportunity to add more stimulation to other areas of your body. If you’re a lady catcher, get some extra clitoral stimulation going at the same time with a vibrator, your hand, or your partner’s hand. Doggystyle and side-by-side are easy positions to do this. If you’re a dude catcher, you can jack yourself off or have your partner jack you off.
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When you’re both done with your anal fun, make sure that the giver pulls out as slowly as possible. Having something that girthy exiting your anus can feel a little strange, but slowing it down will make it feel much better. Don’t be concerned if the anus doesn’t immediately return to it’s usual balloon-knot state. It’s just taken a bit of a beating, and needs some time to close back up.
Wipe yourself off with tissues, then take a trip to the bathroom to clean up more thoroughly. Even if the pitcher used a condom, it’s still a good idea to wash off with soap and water. Soap will also help take care of the lube around the catcher’s anus. Make sure not to have any other sexual contact before cleaning up. In particular, putting a penis that has just been in an anus into a vagina is a one-way ticket to a vaginal infection.
Anal sex leaves one lingering present for the receiver: lube poops. Your next bowel movement is probably going to feel like it’s sliding right out of your butt. If your partner ejaculated into your anus, it will feel even slipperier (and may look a little strange too). Farts can also feel different traveling down your lubed-up butthole. Don’t fret if you find a tiny bit of blood in your stool; anal tissues are susceptible to small tears. But if you have a lot of blood, or ongoing pain, give your doctor a call.
Anal sex is unfortunately still saddled with a bad rap, but it can be immensely pleasurable for giver and receiver alike, and can be a fun new journey to embark on together. Give butt love a chance!
This article was originally published in January 2016 and updated Nov. 13, 2020 to replace outdated links and align the content with current Lifehacker style.

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For many women and couples, anal sex is the final frontier: a place that piques their curiosity , but continues to perplex them and even make them apprehensive. Will anal sex hurt? Can I orgasm from it? Is it messy? Which positions work best? And, most importantl y, how can I guarantee I won't accidentally poop on his penis? All of those are valid questions! Here's what you need to know before you start taking it in the butt.
One of the major reasons women fear anal sex is because many assume it is going to be a royal pain in the...well, ass, literally. The number one thing to keep in mind is that anal can be painful if you aren't relaxed, says Fran Walfish , a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist and co-star on Sex Box on WEtv. So...relax!
"Lots of deep breathing and letting go of everything helps," she says. "It can become more painful when you man thrusts in and out, especially if he is well endowed, remember to keep breathing."
Obviously, going straight into penis-in-butt anal might hurt a little. Steve McGough, an associate professor of clinical sexology at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality suggests working your way up to traditional penetration by using a very small vibrator , butt plug, or your partner's finger (ask him to wear a rubber glove to be safe) to try out a few techniques.
With a (gloved) finger, have your partner make stroking motions to gently cause goose bumps on your thighs and butt, then do similar, almost tickling motions stroking the anus, McGough says. Have them slowly circle the anus with the finger, then apply lube to the finger and circle more, gradually working towards the center of the anus and gently pushing in.
"Always let your partner know if anything hurts, and if it does – stop," McGough says. "Assuming it feels good, have him continue gently pushing in until his finger is in the anus. Then experiment with gently and slowly pushing it in farther and pulling it almost out. While your partner's finger is inside, try pushing out like you are going to have a bowel movement. This actually relaxes the anal sphincter muscles. While you are pushing out, have them move their finger in and out more (gently). Notice how this will (should likely) feel like your anus is more relaxed and open."
Finally, McGough says, tighten your sphincter around your partner's finger and notice how much more tight it is. Repeat this several times, especially if it feels good. You can now feel free to experiment with a larger finger, vibrator, or butt plug. And if you really want to relax your anus, stimulate your clitoris to orgasm while your partner gently moves the plug or vibrator in and out of your anus. Surprise — your orgasm might even be more intense than usual because of the extra rear action, McGough says.
Before you try anything, make sure you have lube and a condom on hand. "I've heard women sometimes talk about how they decided to try it on the spur of the moment, but they didn't have lubrication, a condom, or a partner who knew what they were doing — and they had a bad experience," McGough says. Lube, in this situation, will be your best friend. (Make sure it's water-based — an oil-based lube can make the condom break.)
Although doggy style is a favorite among many back-saddlers, Walfish recommends that women sit on top of their male partners with their backs to his chest so that you can go at your own pace, particularly if you are worried about it being painful .
McGough agrees, saying many women prefer cowgirl position to start out because the woman can control the movements and how quickly her partner penetrates her. Another favorite, and one that is more intimate than doggy, is the spooning position, where a woman lies on her stomach and her male partner lies on top — kind of like a missionary position with the woman facing down.
Yes — but not for the reason you probably think. Since you'll be using a lot of lubrication, there's a good chance you're going to get it on your sheets and the bed. Just put down a towel or two beforehand and try to go with the flow.
"Also know that if your partner is wanting to do this, they are fully aware of the implications and there is nothing you need to be embarrassed about," McGough says. "Getting any concerns out of your head will help you relax and be able to enjoy the experience more."
While there's always a chance of seeing poop, it is less likely than you may fear.
"There is actually little fecal matter in the lower rectum or anal area, so this is usually not an issue and isn't as big of a deal as most people think," McGough says. "Some women use an enema before anal sex. This shouldn't be done often, though, and it's better to just use warm water. Frequent enemas can actually remove the protective mucus normally present and make the rectum more susceptible to injury or infection."
McGough says it's common for women to feel like they have to use the bathroom during anal sex and, as a result, many spontaneously want to tighten their anus sphincters because they're afraid of pooping on their partner. But remember the whole part about loosening things up? This tightening can actually make things more painful, McGough says, and it's better to try and relax and push out instead of tightening the anus.
"Just like with vaginal intercourse, women often get twice the pleasure and erupt into orgasm when clitoral stimulation couples anal intercourse," Walfish says. "Love and trust cause orgasms, not penetration alone."
Stimulating the anus, or the surface of the anus, can send a contraction all the way to the clitoris (this is called the bulbocavernosus reflex), McGough says. While some women don't like extremely deep penetration, it's possible that for some, vigorous motions might stimulate other internal structures in the woman's body that could be erotically stimulating — possibly the sacral, pelvic, hypogastric, or vagus nerve. (Studies haven't confirmed these speculations.)
"Another factor could be that women who enjoy the sensation and find it erotically exciting may be mentally primed to achieve orgasm very easily," McGough says. " Orgasm is actually separate components that work in concert. It could be that the thought of anal sex combined with the sensation of it is so arousing the woman achieves orgasm from that alone."
Butt sex gets a shady rep because it's the riskiest sexual behavior — this position makes it very easy to transmit STDs, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention . Condoms are a must no matter how long you've been in a monogamous relationship, because there's a risk of disease — bacteria in the anus can infect the man's urethra, causing problems for him and also potentially transferring bacteria to the vagina, McGough says.
And relaxation and taking it slow is important not just for your enjoyment, but because rushing increases the chances of an anal tear or fissure, which can happen because the mucus membranes inside the rectum are much thinner than the lining of the vagina and can easily tear, McGough says. The same penetration that would not cause damage to the vagina can cause tears in the anus.
If you happen to bleed during anal, immediately stop penetration and don't attempt it again until you are fully healed, or you risk making an anal fissure worse, McGough says. Anyone with polyps should have them checked by a doctor, who can determine whether they are a cancer threat and make a better call on whether it makes sense to skip potentially risky sex acts like anal. Hemorrhoids, which are swollen veins on the interior or exterior of the anus, are inflamed and painful already, and, if you have them, McGough recommends skipping anal sex until they have healed. If your hemorrhoids are protruding, they will likely slide in and out during anal penetration, which would increase the stress on the tissues and possibly increase the chances of tearing, McGough says.
In the meantime, be mindful of some smart musts: " Never place a finger, penis, toy, etc., that has had anal contact into the woman's vagina," McGough says. "If the woman's partner stimulates her anus (penetrative or not), they should always wash their hands with antiseptic soap before they use the same hands (or any toys ). The partner should also make sure their fingernails are short and don't have any rough edges. If they haven't been tested for STIs or if they have any rough places on their hands, they should wear a latex or similar glove to avoid infection."
No matter what, keep an open line of communication with your partner, stop if you feel uncomfortable, and, by all means, keep going if you love it.
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Springer Open Choice

PMC4379393

Arch Sex Behav. 2015; 44(4): 983–995.
Published online 2014 Nov 7. doi: 10.1007/s10508-014-0367-2
1 Center for Behavioral Research and Services, California State University, 1090 Atlantic Ave., Long Beach, CA 90813 USA
2 Substance Abuse Foundation Inc. of Long Beach, Long Beach, CA USA
Grace L. Reynolds, Email: ude.blusc@sdlonyeR.ecarG .
Received 2012 Aug 30; Revised 2014 Mar 13; Accepted 2014 Mar 24.

Open Access This article is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License which permits any use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and the source are credited.
This article has been cited by other articles in PMC.
Keywords: Heterosexual anal intercourse, Anal sex, Women, Qualitative methods
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