Having My First Orgasm

Having My First Orgasm

The Rise Report: Reflections and Tangible Changes
Today is the last day of our Young Women Rise campaign for The Rise Report. The campaign has been live for one month now and has seen tremendous engagement. The campaign may be coming to an end but MORE
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. Ok
I had my first orgasm when I was ten years old . Lying stomach down on a single bed in my small, yellow bedroom, I was playing with my cuddly animals— I liked to make them speak to each other, fight each other, kiss each other. Shifting around, I felt something I wasn’t quite sure I had ever felt before. Something… good .
Interest peaked, I kept moving myself – and moving, and moving – until… it happened. I didn’t know the word for it, I didn’t know I had been looking for it, but I knew that it had something to do with sex, and I knew I wanted it to happen again .
I can’t say for certain how often I did it in those days, but it felt like it was all the time . I loved this new feeling but I also felt a sense of shame and fear. I feared that somebody would find out, or that they would somehow just know . Above all I feared how they would look at me; like something strange, dirty, wrong .
It was around this time that I started seeing discharge in my underwear, a precursor to the arrival of my period. I wondered if this substance had something to do with what I was doing with myself; I even recall worrying that I could be pregnant. I knew enough to know that didn’t really make sense, but I was paranoid and confused .
Soon, in anticipation of my bodily changes , my parents gave me a book about girls and puberty. I searched through the book and I was relieved to find a simple explanation for the fluid in my pants. “ Great ”, I thought to myself, “ this book really is helpful ”.
I leafed through to find the part about my other new experience, this distinctly sexual sensation I was so frequently enjoying. I scanned that book cover to cover and came up dry – so to speak. There was not a single mention of the words masturbation, orgasm, pleasure … nothing which could have provided an answer to my most pressing questions.
I was an avid reader as a child, and it wasn’t long before I read Judy Blume’s two puberty themed books: Then Again Maybe I Won’t (about a boy), and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (about a girl). Given that both books were written in the 70s , they perhaps couldn’t be expected to be as open on certain subjects as a pre-teen in the early naughties might have liked.
But with wet dreams and erections abounding (again, so to speak ) in Then Again , my youthful thirst for knowledge was more than satisfied. By contrast, there was a total dearth of sexuality in Are You There God? Periods – yes, bras – sure, crushes – of course.
But the kind of acknowledgement of actual physical, sexual feelings, so openly expressed in the male version, was entirely absent. This was a running theme in so much of the media and literature I consumed growing up, and I’m not sure how much this has changed.
I recall watching an episode of ABC Family’s 8 Simple Rules where the younger brother is constantly locked in the bathroom, and the obvious implication is that he’s masturbating. It struck me how common and even family friendly this kind of moment was in TV and film, while the idea of a girl doing anything more than kiss a photograph of their (male) crush’s face was unheard of .
If the media wasn’t particularly helpful, the education system didn’t do much to clear things up either. From primary school puberty lessons to high school sex ed (which, let’s be honest, mostly consisted of being told the symptoms of various STIs and how to put on a condom), I still never heard the dreaded “O” word .
While most of these classes were gender segregated , we were all taught the gist of the “changes” experienced by boys (I seem to remember watching a pretty ridiculous cartoon video of a boy getting an erection), and of course we covered how babies are made (the stork brings them, right?).
By definition, this acknowledged the existence of boys’ sexuality, as a feeling and an action . Girls’ (and women’s) sexuality, on the other hand, always seemed to be presented as passive. Sex was something women consented to , not something they asked for, longed for, or fantasised about.
All of this did a pretty good job of leaving me wondering whether it really was wrong for a girl to be so- well- horny . The fact that I realised in my early teens that I was probably a lot more interested in other girls than boys didn’t help matters. Is it because I’m gay and I’m somehow more like a boy that I feel like this?
There were times when, out of guilt, I would bargain with myself to try to cut down or stop masturbating for periods of time. In a strange, don’t-step-on-the-cracks mindset, I would even tell myself that various, entirely unrelated, wishes would come true if I could wait two weeks before giving myself another orgasm.
Even while other girls my age were having sex with boys in some form, I genuinely felt that what I was doing was embarrassing. Most of my friends as a teenager were straight girls, and masturbation and orgasms were never subjects which were brought up or which I felt able to broach myself.
It wasn’t till I met my first real girlfriend at 17 that I felt able to discuss the subject openly, and from there began my realisation that my experience wasn’t at all unusual. Ten years on and I know this, and yet writing all of this publicly still feels uncomfortable – which is exactly why I am doing it.
Sexual feelings are not something anyone should need to feel ashamed of, and this is something which all young people should know when they start having those feelings, regardless of gender. As it stands there is a major gender disparity in this area- the implications of which are deserving of another blog or several- and that’s unlikely to change unless we keep talking and refuse to shut up about it.
I, for one, am tired of a world where it’s entirely common for women and ever younger girls to be represented as sexual objects for men’s enjoyment, while their internal experience of sexual desire and pleasure is effectively written out of existence .
So, I’m here to tell you that I am a woman and I knew how to masturbate before I knew how to do a quadratic equation and I continue to find it an infinitely more enjoyable activity.
Caitlin Logan is our Volunteer Blog Editor. She studied English and Politics at university, followed by a Masters in Equality and Human Rights. Fast forward a few short years later, and she has recently embarked on a new adventure in her dream job as a journalist. She loves writing, reading, Netflix binges, and roller skating- because she has to do something that sounds like a real hobby, and walking is boring anyway.
Joining The Young Women's Movement is FREE and open to all self-identifying women. No age limits apply.
YWCA Scotland, Wellpark/Kirkhaven Enterprise Centre, 120 Sydney Street, Glasgow G31 1JF
 hello@ywcascotland.org
0141 465 4627
Charity No. SC034132, Company Limited by Guarantee in Scotland No. SC246153

© Copyright 2022 YWCA Scotland | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Data Protection
A website by Flintriver

To prioritise the safety and wellbeing of our staff and those we work with, as of the 16th March until further notice our Edinburgh and Glasgow teams will be working from home. We will work hard to engage our movement on digital platforms and we will be innovating and trying new things. You can get in touch with us by emailing [NAME]@ywcascotland.org, or on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook – always @youngwomenscot.
For the most up to date information on Coronavirus / Covid-19 please see the Scottish Government website and NHS Inform.
For a list of organisations in Glasgow who are doing food deliveries for vulnerable families over the Easter break, please click here: CHFP – Easter delivery.
If you normally receive food bank vouchers from our Glasgow Centre, or are in need and would like to discuss this confidentially, please give Ange an email.
Thanks to Hey Girls UK, we became the first Scottish distributor of their free sanitary products. All the profits from their Buy One Give One products go directly to providing free sanitary products for those who need them.
Our offices are currently closed but we are working to have free sanitary products available during this time for those who need them. Please contact us if you need support receiving these.
If you don’t require this service, perhaps next time you shop for period products you will buy from Hey Girls UK, buying a box for someone who needs it.
For more information on period poverty and periods please see the following links:
Rape Crisis Scotland – 08088 01 03 02 (6pm – midnight)
Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage helpline – 0800 027 1234 (open 24/7). You can also chat online if it’s not safe to make a call.
National Stalking Helpline – 0808 802 0300 (daily 9:30 am – 4 pm, except Wednesday 1 pm – 4 pm)
Revenge Porn helpline – email help@revengepornhelpline.org.uk
Victim Support Scotland’s helpline – 0800 160 1985 (Mon-Fri, 8am-8pm)
Breathing Space helpline – 0800 83 85 87 (Mon-Thur, 6pm to 2am and Fri 6pm-Mon 6am
If you are in an emergency situation and you are unable to talk while on the phone 999, press 55 to signal to the operator that you are in danger.

We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy . Cookie Settings
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b1\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b1\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Explore a bit so you can find your clitoral hood. The female body can seem a little confusing at a glance, but it’s very easy to navigate. Move your fingers around to figure out exactly where your clitoris (clit) and clitoral hood, or the flap of skin covering your clit, are. It may help to locate your vagina , and then follow the labia, or flaps of skin surrounding the vagina, to where they meet right below your clit. Don’t be fooled—although the clit is just a tiny bundle of nerves, it’ll play a huge role in your orgasm. [2]
X
Research source

The clitoral hood is directly above the clit, so you can bring yourself a lot of pleasure by playing around with it.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a3\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2022 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Press on the top of the hood with your fingers. Achieving an orgasm doesn’t happen right away—before you bask in the pleasure, you’ll need to get the ball rolling a bit. Press along the surface of the clitoral hood, which can bring you all sorts of pleasure. Experiment with different amounts of pressure, which may bring you a bit of stimulation and pleasure. [3]
X
Research source

There’s no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself! Ultimately, you have to listen to your body and figure out what works for you.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/15\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/15\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Move this skin between your fingers. Lift up the sensitive skin and hold it between your fingers. Move it between your fingers, rolling it around to create a really great feeling. Keep up the clitoral stimulation to really build up your orgasm. [4]
X
Research source

Rolling the skin between your fingers may not achieve much for you, and that’s okay! Continue experimenting until you find something that really gets you going.
You can also encourage your partner to make things extra steamy by sucking or rubbing the general area. [5]
X
Trustworthy Source

Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University

Go to source

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Keep your mind in a happy, pleasured place. Try to keep your mind focused on what you’re trying to achieve, instead of thinking about the anatomy of it all. If you’re only thinking in technical terms, you may end up losing some of the magic that you’ve been building up all this time. [6]
X
Trustworthy Source

Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University

Go to source

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/46\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/46\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Lube up as you keep lightly stimulating the area. As you pleasure yourself more and more, your clit will become even more sensitive, and possibly difficult to handle. Dip your fingers or toys in lube, and apply light pressure around the area. Continue pleasuring yourself gently until you achieve an orgasm! [7]
X
Research source

At this point, it’s best to avoid direct clitoral stimulation. Your clit will be really sensitive, and direct stimulation will hurt instead of bring pleasure.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0d\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0d\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Move around a lot if you’re being intimate with a partner. Constant movement is a great way to build up pleasure and stimulation. If you’re feeling adventurous and your partner is penetrating you, wrap your legs around your partner for more dynamic pleasure, or gently push their head down if they are giving you oral. Experiment a bit until you get into a groove that works well for you. [8]
X
Research source

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/48\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/48\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\n<\/p><\/div>"}

Find your G-spot inside of your vagina. The G-spot is a slang term for a special spot in your vagina with the potential to bring you some intense orgasms. You can find it 1 to 2 in (2.5 to 5.1 cm) in, along the upper/top wall of your vagina. This spot is typically spongy, puckered, and ridged, which makes it a bit easier to identify. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t find it right away—it may take a little exploration first. [9]
X
Research source

When you’re aroused, your G-spot will swell a bit and be easier to find.

{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8d\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8d\/Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-Have-an-Orgasm-%28for-Women%29-Step-8.jpg","sma
Nymho
Star Vs Forces Of Evil Sex
Kamihime Mobile

Having My First Orgasm

Report Page