Having A Wank
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Having A Wank
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How to masturbate (or wank for UK readers). Not everyone does it (which is chill AF) but having sex by yourself can feel really nice.
Not everyone likes it – which is fine. And not everyone likes to do it in the same way, which is also obviously fine. There isn’t just one answer to ‘how to masturbate’, it’s basically okay to touch yourself however feels nice. Here are some different ideas that you might find work for you. So long as you are in private, you don’t feel like you’re doing it too much and you aren’t hurting yourself then it’s fine. If you notice any soreness or any bleeding then please stop. More about that here .
[warning – masturbation drawings ahead but first]
The outside of the clitoris is very sensitive, so some people like to touch it. It has a skin ‘hood’ covering it to protect it as it is really sensitive. People stroke it through this skin or directly and lightly with wet fingers. As most of the clitoris is inside the vulva you may feel the whole area start to swell and throb.
The glans (aka ‘bell-end’) of the penis is very sensitive and people like to stroke this area in a similar way that people stroke the outside of the clitoris. Like the clitoris it often has skin which covers this area (known as foreskin ) and can feel nice to touch. Also touching the glans lightly with wet fingers can feel nice.
You may want to try exploring inside the vagina too. This might feel uncomfortable at first so it’s okay not to do it, or to insert the smallest finger first. You could also just explore the outside of the vagina to see how it feels. The vagina will usually be wet if the person is aroused but some people find they need a bit more lubricant, such as water based lubricant or even their own saliva.
Some people also enjoy touching around and inside the anus too. It’s a good idea to use lubricant and to make sure that nails are trimmed. Notice what feels good for you. Learning how to masturbate is really just learning about what works for you. If anything feels uncomfortable please just stop. Don’t make yourself do anything you don’t want to.
The hand acts like a pump moving the foreskin back and forward over bell end which is a very sensitive part of the penis. It’s meant to feel similar to entry sex but the hand can provide more stimulation and more pressure. For circumcised penises, this is still a popular method, but they may need additional lubrication so that the glans doesn’t get dry and sore (vaseline, cocoa butter, baby oil, water based lube if you’re using condoms).
Lots of people like using sex toys to masturbate. There are lots of different ones for the clitoris, vagina, anus and penis. If you are going to use them you should also get some lubricant. If you plan to share them or use them in different openings you should clean them or put condoms on in between. You usually need to be 18 to get sex toys. I’m getting questions from under 18s who are using objects they find around the house as sex toys – as you can see here this can cause problems.
So far so genitals, but there are lots of other ways that you can touch yourself that feel really great. Lots of people either can’t feel much in their genitals, or their bits don’t do it for them, or they don’t have a great relationship with them. The good news is that you can have a really great time touching different parts of your body, and you can definitely have orgasms doing so. In fact some people can have orgasms without touching themselves at all.
Different lubricants, using two hands, using the other hand, turning the hand around the other way, lying in a different position, trying to delay coming for as long as possible (this helps to control when you orgasm/ejaculate), using more than one sex toy, penetrating the anus (use lube, wash hands afterwards and before touching any other part of the body), using water, using a shower head, doing it in the bath (don’t hog the bathroom though), massaging the testicles, rubbing against a pillow, stroking nipples, not using your hands at all (some people report being able to orgasm without any touch at all), feathers, moving your hands in a different direction, touching yourself in other areas.
Do leave a comment below if you have anything you’d like to add or if you have questions. I moderate all comments before they go live. Click here to ask me a question
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Justin Hancock has been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. In that time he’s taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. He’s a member of the World Association for Sexual Health. Find out more about Justin here
What should I watch while I wank and should I be naked or keep my clothes on
I think while u wank u should either watch porn or try to think about a moment with a woman and start “stroking” to that. If u have problems with following through just give up and get help.
PS Its no nut november so don’t wank
If you want to not wank this November, that’s fine. But others can wank when they want to.
If keeping mastrubation all time this stop prostate cancer if you don’t mastrubation long time you will prostate cancer and keeping sperm old out make new sperm if you horny too much have too mastrubation make you good long sleep
Hi. I like to do it but some people say it has a lot of disadvantages for body and it’s not good for your health. What do you think? Is it okay to do it or not? Please answer me I’m dying to do it.
Mi Mehdi. There’s no scientific evidence to suggest that masturbation is bad for your health (so long as you don’t hurt yourself and don’t do it more than you are happy with). However, a lot of people teach us that masturbation is morally bad. I don’t think that masturbation is morally bad at all, but other people would disagree with me. So this is very much your decision. You don’t have to go all the way and masturbate like I’ve talked about in this article. You could just start off slowly by touching yourself a little bit and then see how you feel about it afterwards. Justin (BISH)
I don’t feel as if i wank properly. I feel that I’m doing it wrong. I basically don’t put my hand round my penis but flatten it down and rub my hand in half a fist motion up and down my penis
It’s totally fine to wank this way or however you want — so long as it’s not causing you any damage or getting boring! You could try to change it up and wank in a different way just to experience different kinds of feelings. You don’t have to try to ejaculate every time you wank, sometimes it’s nice just to enjoy not ejaculating. There’s more about enjoying solo sex more here .
I like to keep my underwear on and rub my penis against by leg is that normal or weird ?
Rather than thinking whether it’s normal or weird maybe think about ‘am I enjoying this? am I harming myself or anyone else?’ if the answer is yes, no, no, then there is no problem here. When it comes to sex, many people want to be ‘normal’ but normal is actually a huge variety of things. So try and chill and enjoy what you enjoy.
Most teens like to wank two or three times a day (myself included) normally in the shower or in bed. However, if you leave off for a few days, you will have a huge orgasm. It seems the more semen you eject, the greater your orgasm and your pleasure. Remember to clean up – peel back your foreskin and wash with warm soapy water – if you are uncut remember that your penis can leak after masturbation and it stays under the foreskin. Luckily, my parents had me ‘cut’ so that my glans is always outside.
Hi bishuk, could you tell me what ‘dry humping’ is? Im old enough to know b.t.w, Just thought you should know. :p Well, I luv ur site also 🙂
Dry humping is humping with clothes on. In other words, if one of the duo cums, the other wouldn’t get wet. It’s basically humping with clothes. Not necessarily all clothes though, mainly the clothes covering the genitals. ; )
By the way, my website is http://www.electricladylounge.com Come on over some time!
Hmmm interesting, thank you. I like your site too.
I found a link this week and thought you might be interested to see it. It’s taken from Betty Dodson’s excellent website, and addresses the question of whether using a vibrator can affect your sexual response/sensitivity: http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/02/will-vibrator-desensitive-my-clit [in short: answer, no; but we can all get used to only doing things one way]
I’ve updated the post above. Thanks for your help.
It’s not that I don’t like what you have to say at all, I’m just interested in exploring some of the points you’ve made.
I do write my own blog and run my own website, thanks! Although it’s aimed at adults, not teenagers.
I don’t think I’ve suggested that vibrators are negative or that they can diminish someone’s orgasmic capacity. If you don’t like what I’ve had to say, why not go and write your own website for teens?
I’m not sure your advice about using vibrators making it harder to reach orgasm in other ways is really true. Any numbing effect would be very temporary, so it might make it harder to come again within a couple of hours, but otherwise orgasmic capacity should remain unchanged. Do you have any further info to back up this assertion? Would be interested to see genuine research into this area.
Thanks. I did say sometimes though….
Indeed. It just seems to be one of those myths that people trot out from time to time, but not based on any actual evidence. Having worked as a sex educator for several years, I’ve never met anyone who has found the use of a vibrator to be anything other than a positive thing, and no-one who has said it has diminished their orgasmic capacity. Just wondered if there was any research into this…
I have to admit that vibrators have always made it harder for me to reach orgasm; the numbing sensation lasts quite a while for me so in the end I normally just use my fingers to avoid the side-effects of numbness. Personal experience here, not a research paper ;).
Isn’t the numbness pleasurable? Sorry, I’m a man so I don’t know how it feels, but I want to ask my girlfriend to try having fun on herself.
BISH is a guide to sex, love and you for everyone over 14. It’s for people who are (or are thinking about) having sex / relationships. It's for all genders and sexualities, people with disabilities, backgrounds, beliefs and values. It’s got a UK vibe so we say ‘snog’, ‘fancy’ and ‘shag’ a lot.
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