Having A Vagina

Having A Vagina
by Giselle Castro Published: Sep 18, 2014
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Having a vagina has its advantages and disadvantages—but sometimes it feels like there are way more of the latter. If you're a woman, then you're all-too-familiar with having to decide whether to wax or shave—or how much thigh strength is necessary to hover over a public toilet. And that’s not even the worst of it! Here are some of the struggles all vajayjay owners have to deal with:
Unpredictable Periods
One month it might be easy and light, but the next it’s like a red monsoon. There's also random spotting—and that doesn't even get into the painful cramping that coincides with Aunt Flo.
Yeast Infections
Getting a yeast infection is bothersome and embarrassing, but it's worse if you're prone to these and other bacterial infections .
Wondering If It's "Pretty"
All vaginas look different—but there are now surgical procedures designed to improve the appearance of your lady parts . Trust us: So long as yours is healthy, it looks perfect just the way it is.
The Pubic Hair Dilemma
Are you supposed to have no hair, some hair, or a full bush ? What do they want from us?!
Freshness Issues
Who hasn't discouraged or even turned down oral sex because you forgot to shower before getting frisky? This may just be one of life's biggest travesties.
Ingrown Hairs
So. Freaking. Painful.
Childbirth
No one is comfortable with the idea of a human coming out of what is normally a pretty tiny hole.
Cycling Soreness
Sometimes it makes you wonder if indoor cycling classes are even worth it.
Vajazzling
No explanation necessary.
Vaginal Dryness
Why oh why do men think it's okay to skip foreplay?
Queefing
Not as bad as farting, but still a total mood killer.
Squatting to Pee
Guys can just unzip and relieve themselves anywhere. Meanwhile, you're stuck doing a chair pose hovering over the toilet seats in public restrooms.
Cameltoe
Woe is the woman who doesn't do a mirror check on that new pair of super-tight skinny jeans before wearing them out in public.
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All The Highs And Lows Of Having A Vagina

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

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I have a love hate relationship with my vagina.
On the one hand, it's something that is the essence of who I am. To me, it is something that makes me feel like a feminine, powerful and strong woman. I struggled with endometriosis my freshman year of undergrad—it's a condition that causes discomfort and in extreme cases can even threaten your fertility. So knowing my vagina and I made it through that time together and came out alive makes me feel like a strong, feminine soul. To borrow from Eve Ensler, it's "a delicate flower"—it's something I grow and it is 100% mine. That in itself is pretty liberating.
On the other hand, a vagina is also that pain in the ass roommate that is unreceptive to your social calendar, is incredibly messy and also likes to constantly make you aware of its presence. So this one goes out to all you ladies out there—I present to you the ups and downs that make vaginas resilient heroes and, well...real pussies.
Aunt Flo can be the most unpredictable relative—she's either barging in too early or worrying you to death by showing up late. She makes you waste all your money on tampons and pads (which, by the way, carry the pink tax) and just makes you feel gross. Worst aunt ever.
You remember the first time you tried to find, well, ANYTHING down there? It's like Pans Labyrinth. You sat there with your mom's hand mirror and a copy of something between "Grey's Anatomy" and "Feminine Mystique" just trying to understand what in the HELL was going on.
From wasting an entire box of tampons to the endless search for your clitoris, you and your lady parts had some times where you just didn't understand each other.
Tampon application has become a mindless task, and you've become more and more comfortable with yourself sexually. Also, like, orgasms. You know how to make one happen now.

Both a pro and a con when it comes to having a va-jay-jay. While sometimes vaginal sex is great and enjoyable, sometimes your lady friend just says "NOPE, not today." That has to do with the fact that our anatomy is incredibly complicated. We have ligaments that if not properly relaxed can make vaginal penetration extremely painful. Our internal tissue (though resilient) is incredibly sensitive.
As such, it's always important to tell your partner what you like and what it is you need from sex . Don't be afraid to want foreplay, it more than likely will make your sex life incredible for the both of you!
Another pro and con with having a vagina—difficult (and infuriating) to figure out, but fantastic once you get it right. But beyond the sensation, a female orgasm is incredibly liberating in that it reminds you how much power you have inside yourself . You have the power to make yourself feel this way. You have energy in yourself that you can release by simply knowing your own body.
Have you ever been walking around and just felt yourself sloughing? That's the medical vernacular for, "Did my vagina just fucking sneeze ??" You know the struggle, usually just as you've put on a pair of actual NICE underwear, you're minding your own business and feel something let loose. Sometimes it's so intense you wonder if you just hemorrhaged all your intestines out through your hoo-haw.
They never do it when we're in our $2.00 pair that have holes in them. No, it's always the pair you paid 40 bucks for that only come out once in a blue moon. Not cool.
This is a big one. I'm not saying you need to turn every conversation into a "vagina monologue," and dinner is probably not the best time to discuss a yeast infection. However, sex and genitalia are such a taboo in Western culture that we often feel embarrassed or even ashamed of our own bodies! This is a problem that can make it difficult to talk to healthcare professionals, make expressing needs in sexual relationships frustrating and leave you with a lot of uncertainty about your own anatomy. If you have ever felt this way, you're not alone!
Just know your vagina is not anything to be embarrassed about and if you have questions about it, they are okay to ask!
Now, I have never given birth, but to me, this is perhaps the most incredible thing a vagina can do. First of all, the ability a vagina has in terms of resilience is mind-blowing: it can pass a person out of it and then heal itself. AMAZING. But more so than this, what a beautiful thing that an organ can be transformed into a vessel for life. Birth is such a mysterious and spiritual process that it genuinely makes me emotional to think about it.
" Am I OK? I feel OK. Is this from jogging? It doesn't itch, but it definitely smells off. Should I call the doctor?"
Listen y'all, they may have a unique smell and have issues from time to time, but YOUR VAGINA DOES NOT NEED TO SMELL LIKE A SUMMER BREEZE. I repeat—products that say they're going to make you smell like a coconut are NOT GOOD FOR YOUR VAGINA. Vaginas are like a self-cleaning oven, and products like these SERIOUSLY mess with your pH. If your smell is off, it's a good idea to call your healthcare provider to see if you have an infection, not to try to mask the smell with vagina deodorant. Yes, this is a real thing. Yes, it's super rude. I don't want that in my face when I'm already not feeling feminine or fresh!
F or these and a myriad of other reasons, vaginas are incredibly complex, just like women are. They have layers and layers (no pun intended) of confusion but also bring liberation, satisfaction and life. So, although they can drive us crazy, I think we can all agree on one thing :
Football Saturdays in the south are holy. Everyone has their own game-day agenda that will probably never change. Win or lose, Saturdays are specifically superstitious.
IT'S OCTOBER! That means leaves changing colors, marathons on TV of "Halloweentown" and its sequels, and cozying up in blankets and sweaters with hot apple cider. Apple picking season is at its prime, and there are a bunch of reasons why you and your friends should drive on over to the nearest apple orchard and market!
October is National Bullying Prevention Month that reminds us that students, parents, teachers, and school administrators all play a role.
"WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THAT?"—is probably the question you hear most often as a Brussels Griffon owner. Whether or not you knew about #grifflife before you adopted your furry best friend, you know now that being a Brussels Griffon owner is just about the best thing in the world. The tiny, eccentric dog breed delivers everything you could ever ask for in a best friend.
Grocery shoppers, hospital patients, nurses, and plain ol' people walking down the street.We are the movement that often goes unnoticed, but without us movies and your favorite T.V. shows wouldn't be the same.You see, I do background work for various T.V. and movies throughout New Mexico. It's not all glitz and glam though.

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It's time we finally discuss that stabbing pain you get in your butt during your period, y'all.
"You aren’t sure if it’s your period or a bunch of discharge, but either way, your underwear is fucked and you need to go to the bathroom to check right away."
"It's worse when it's summer or if you live somewhere hot and the sweat confuses things."
"Have hair? Itches. Shave? Itches more. Errant hair that's no longer attached? Stabby. Get too sweaty? OMG, the itching. Get too dry? Sandpaper. Clit comes out from under the hood and gets irritated on hair or panties. Getting a lip stuck in lace panties. Having your pad lift up and stick to the most inconvenient place."
"'That's a real nice pair of underwear I see you've splurged on. Would be a real shame if something were to discolor it, huh? ' —Vagina"
"Period just got done? Here, have BV. Too much sex? Have it again for a few days. Wore non-cotton underwear? Better have some BV. Mercury is in retrograde? Sure, why not, here’s some more BV just because."
"Sorry mine isn't a perfect porn star–looking pussy, but it doesn't mean I've slept with 100 guys."
"You wake up to either (1) you're bleeding a lot and fast, or (2) it has all rolled out the side of your pad and underwear, you are covered in blood, and now need to change the sheets, your clothes, and you might as well shower, too."
"Seriously what the fuck is that about? It already feels like I've been beaten with a bat from my stomach to my knees and then the devil flicks my asshole with no warning?!"
"I've been stitched down there for other reasons and the scar tissue is a lifetime bitch. I'm very scared of actually getting pregnant and giving birth. My mother has permanent continence issues after birthing three children."
"You think you’re on your period, so you put on a pad, but you’re not on it yet, so the pad gets wasted on that bit of discharge. It also is uncomfortable."
"I get pains when I’m fertile, for some reason. BAM cramp two weeks early, get fucked."
FYI: Mittelschmerz pains happen when your ovary releases an egg, and can last anywhere from minutes to hours. They can be mild or severe enough that the pain "mimics appendicitis." You can learn more about them here .
"Otherwise, BOOM, thrush. BOOM, BV. Want a hot bath, or to work out, or have sex? Fine, but be prepared for the BOOM."
"Did I start my period randomly? Nah, wet just because. Being wet also doesn't always mean horny. Just depends on your hormone levels throughout the month."
"It's way more noticeable if it’s a dark surface. You know you haven’t peed, leaked or anything else wet, but all the internally generated warmth just compressed between your vagina and butt means it’ll be there and it’ll hang around just long enough for others to wonder why you’re hovering over your chair."
"I don't really mind periods, mine are shorter and shorter the older I get. But the mood swings the week before them, damn I hate, hate, hate those five pre-period days."
"For two days in the middle of my period, it’s been absolute hell and getting worse. Crippling pain that sends me to my knees and now needs opioids to calm it down, bigger and more frequent clots, increasingly heavy flow. I saw a doctor requesting a referral to my OB-GYN and was waved off with a 'monitor it and come back in three months.' Maddening."
"Education would solve so many problems."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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