Have Sex With My Dong

Have Sex With My Dong
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
It's Not an Option for Billy Porter To Be Quiet
Jodie Sweetin On The Importance of Demystifying Addiction
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It's Not an Option for Billy Porter To Be Quiet
Jodie Sweetin On The Importance of Demystifying Addiction
I've got a big penis. This is my tale of woe.
I lost my virginity to my high school girlfriend, Claire. She had amazing skin and wild blonde hair. She also had a friend, Anna, who had a problem with us dating and made it her mission to harass me. I don't remember how sex felt that first time, whether I came, or how long it lasted. I do remember being made fun of for the size of my penis a few days later.
Only a teenage girl could turn that revelation into a source of shame and embarrassment. Anna sauntered up to my lunch table where I sat, witless and surrounded by friends. "So, Charlie," Anna announced to the table, "Claire was just telling us you've got a big cock!"
Our culture is built on the notion that bigger is better, and (depending on who your analyst is) the male reproductive organ is the root of it all. There are very few negative stereotypes associated with a sizable schlong. A large cock confers unflappable confidence in life. Sexual prowess is no problem for the well-endowed man; just a glimpse of his tumescence will send women everywhere into orgasmic fits.
Of course, the reality's very different.
The most immediate problems are anatomical. On a personal level, the circumference of my head while erect slightly exceeds the comfortable limits of my foreskin. That's most inconvenient when masturbating, as the skin gets pulled up and down on the head to varying degrees. During colder months, when my skin is dryer, I've masturbated my way to tiny lacerations around the edge of my foreskin.
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During sexytime, I need to be on guard. A misdirected thrust can end congress for the night. Even just easing my entire penis into a vagina has caused the not-sexy kind of pain. I've also been told, without any preamble, that anal sex would never be on the menu. It wasn't a huge blow. But to my hung brothers with posterior proclivities, I sympathize.
Then there are the accessories. If compression shorts cost as little as cotton briefs, I'd be wrapping up tight every day. Bouncy bouncy, fellas! Speaking of wraps, condoms pinch like Houdini's handcuffs. Sure, normal-sized guys also complain about them, but I'm guessing that putting them on and taking them off isn't supposed to actually hurt like it does. I also suspect that the pain and constriction contributes to my tendency to … overstay my welcome at times.
So: Magnums. Two hang-ups consistently prevent me from picking them up. A girlfriend suggested them numerous times when I complained about the pinch, but I was afraid Magnums would be too big — and that she'd be disappointed and/or turned off to find that her man wasn't as big as she thought.
The second reason is that I simply do not want to be That Guy.
That Guy is my biggest problem with my biggest digit. All of those wonderful huge-dick stereotypes don't apply unless everyone knows your big secret — and that's just not going to happen. There is no casual way to spread the word that you've got a plus-size penis. Any attempt to disseminate information regarding your Richard will — nay, must — be met with skepticism, pity, and annoyance. At best people will assume you're lying; at worst they'll believe you and think you're bragging. You look like a tool either way.
So, of course, I'm constantly tempted to be naked at inappropriate moments. I'll convince myself that whipping it out is the end-all-be-all answer to certain problems. When my self-esteem takes a hit, it hides between my legs. Get turned down for coffee? If only she'd known about the stir-stick. How impressive is that guy's six-pack? I bet he's only got a six-inch.
Denying my atavistic urges creates a lot of stress. Even if someone finds out in the most ideal way — having sex with me — I get weirded out if she says anything about my cock outside of coitus. At my craziest, I fear that hearing it too many times will subconsciously turn me into a man content to let his fairer attributes wither away, left with the unearned sense of entitlement a titanic trouser trunk bestows.
In my day-to-day, I get by pretty well. I take time to get to know my partners inside and out before going Dirk Diggler on them. My underpants are supportive and affordable. I've learned to limit my onanism. I have even learned to accept compliments gracefully.
Looking at it this way I can appreciate how my penis has helped me. I'm more self-aware than I'd be if I'd been graced with an average member. OK, in all honesty, I don't hate my big penis. I just hate what having a big penis means to everyone else.
This post originally appeared on The Good Men Project . Republished with permission.
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More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:

An expression used to attract the opposite sex . Very ineffective yet simple .
Person 1 : My dong
Person 2 : What?
Person 1: My donnngg!
"suck my dick" Initially coined by "Five Nights at Fuckboy's ," an RPG parody of the " Five Nights at Freddy's " indie game franchise.
BB : HELLO FRIEND WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY THINGS
Freddy : inhale my dong enragement child
The act of fucking some random chick or having meaningless sex with someone you don't respect. " Assified " would be an ass whore who clamps her dumper on any random cock.
I met some whore last night and she cuntified my dong for a while. Then I booted her out of my house. Kellie is such a slut, she'll assify any dong that swings her way.
Slang for a male request of oral sex, either towards another male in a sarcastic " shut the fuck up " way or in respect to previous events, however not commonly a serious request to a female.
"Man, wanna' come play poker?"
"No, huff my dong ."

"How was your night with Shaundra last night?"
"Good, man."
"She huff your dong?"
"Twice."
Simply another way of saying " suck my manhood ", because you can never have too many methods of parlaying this fine gesture of true respect to your fellow man.
"Please leave a message at the tone, unless you are a bill collector , in which case you may Slurp My Dong "
by Masked_Marauder November 25, 2013
by The aubergine man September 14, 2020
Youve got to be shitting me , no fuggin way, oh my god that cant be right, your foot is on top of my penis.
R. Kelly didn't go to jail ? You are stepping on my dong !

Hey bitch watch it your stepping on my dong!

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One day while my bf was out to get more wood for our future chicken coop, i decided i was sick of him saying he wasn't ready yet and i saw our beautiful red cattle dog Jake lying down and thought about all the dog s** stories i have read in the past so i called him over to me and removed my trosers and panties then got in doggie s** position, Jake emideantly responded by trying to climb on my back and f*** me, not wanting to scare Jake away i said "that's a good boy you keep f****** me" and wanting to help him get to my already wet c*** i grabed his d*** which scared him off a little with the chance that i had i took off my shirt and bra so i could be as naked as he was, i got back into dog s** position Jake seeing what i was doing immediately jumped back up jabbing in random directions until he hit the spot and pushed in depper with each thrust, i was moaning and screaming in pleasure until i felt something hard and huge like a baseball bat and remmbered that it was the dogs knot, it felt lime h*** untiil it got in i was screaming in pain pleasure almost the entire time, when the knot was in he started pumping his hot doggie c** all in my p**** , after Jake was finished he tried to hop off but i stopped him until his knot properly shrunk and could fit out of my tight p**** . I dont regret having s** with jake at all because we still do it to this day when my bf is not around

Great story -- I would love to f*** her like jake did

The dogs knot does not swell until it enters the v*****

I bet the dogs spelling is better than yours as well

You are the like it or you don't and if you do Mr best feeling different strokes for different float I was taking it 5 years old accidentally my male dog playing on the lawn he jumped on the back of me and you tradies c*** straight up inside me and I didn't even know what was going on yourself beyond the backyard I was lucky he was in and out he didn't not otherwise I have been in trouble I knew nothing I don't know whether I liked it or I didn't it happen so quickly few weeks later when was playing at the back he came back for more I'm starting to get sexually excited directions all the time masturbated take me to my room to help me stuckey's tongue I wish you would like a finished tongue feel good at pull down with shorts I was hard electro me I had my first o***** I couldn't believe what happens I didn't know what your o***** was he quickly gold it down on that day off that's where I would get my sexual pleasure and for all my life Tasmanian women turning to me just to sequel as to talk sometimes I just want to be fucken leaked f***** and filled with cool just to be different Apple dress up for the dog are you stalking skirt the full works teasing I just like it I think it was because it's my introduction to s** without a choice really suck anything if you get a feeling food you want more I haven't had any for 10 years I don't have room for a dog if anybody has a dog a big hard c*** and I will service him for you give him the time of his life

I felt the same like you my first time. my BF had brought this like a wolfhound to our house. He said it was a gift from a friend. Then my BF had to run off to work leaving that damned dog with me. I was sitting on the couch watching TV. It was a hot movie and I kind of started to feel silly so felt myself a bit. I was getting so wet when this crazy dog stuck his nones right in my place. I pushed him away but he came right back and then just started licking me there. I was first disgusted and tried to pull away but then it started to feel so good. I never had such a licking done to me and this crazy dog seem to know just how to do it. I came to my senses and got myself away from this beast, trying to stand up. As I walked away, this huge monster flung hisself on my back, knocking me down onto my hands and knees. While I was there, still without pants or even panties on, he started humping me. I thought this was kind of funny and wondered what this dog thought he was doing. All of the sudden, I did not think it was so funny when I felt his thing poking me and then it started to go inside. I tried so much to pull away but he held me tight with his forelegs around my chest. He was too strong and I felt helpless. He continued to hump and I felt him going deeper and deeper. I could not believe how big he had gotten and it hurt so much as it grew inside of me. After a while he did not hold onto me so much but I discovered this did not matter since he was locked inside of me. It still hurt some but then the pain turned into something else I could not believe. I tried to hold it off buty I had no control anymore as I was brought into such a climax so much stronger than I have ever had. I seem to have c** forever as he continued to shove his swollen member into me. I was completely helpless and my climax continued until this beast stopped, with his thing forced into me and him leaving me filled with his load.

Loki reading this chapter like "I had an eight-legged horse spawn, come back to me when you've done that"

I like it i like tell stories i dont know how

When I was 17, I went out to feed my dog and I caught my sister having s** with him. They were locked together. I never told her that I had seen them. How old are you now and have you tried it?

Yes and was caught by older brother. He decides to use this as black mail to f*** me quietly. Then watch the dog f*** me from start to finish, damn dog D*** is better than most mens.

I never did. I just caught my sister that's all.

Yeah, forgot to switch accounts, buddy.

I let my friends husky f*** my ass, it felt amazing feeling his doggy c*** inside me, his knot hurt though but he came a lot.

I am a bi male and have always wanted to be f***** hard by a big dog but i dont know anboady that has a dog that can so come on peps must be someone out there with a horney dog

When I was 17, I went out to feed my dog and I caught my sister having s** with him. They were locked together. I never told her that I had seen them.

Email me your story bridgesjames175@gmail.com

Hi love to her or read your story bridgesjames175@gmail.com

How old were you at the time. and why stay with your bf if he wouldn't do you,

Idk thats pretty wild... Yea too much p*** /internet for you. I've seen it too but to actually do it?!?! Idk... Maybe try getting into other stuff like threesomes and DP... I'm not sure if ur man will be down with the dog thing... Idk maybe he will maybe he wont... But hey atleast stop f****** the dog it can only get worse. Plus thats like ur man f****** s h***** ....

You need mental help, and you need to spend a lot less time on the Internet.

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