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I had a sexual relationship with my dad until I was 15, and I enjoyed it.
Comment removed by moderator · 10 yr. ago
Comment removed by moderator · 10 yr. ago
Comment removed by moderator · 10 yr. ago
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I know throwaways are looked down upon, but I have a good feeling i'd be harrassed or get a ton of creepy pm's if I post this on my main account.
My dad was always very open about sex, and whenever I had questions he gave me answers. When I was around 8 I asked him what an orgasm was, and he explained it. Since he was always open about sex, I thought it would be perfectly normal to ask if he could give me an "orgasm". He said he would give it some thought, and after a few hours explained to me that if he did do this for me that I couldn't tell anyone else because it was a "private" matter. I didn't really understand but I wanted to feel this bliss so I agreed. He then performed the deed. I don't really remember if I had an orgasm, but I know it felt amazing. Every day after school I would ask him for an orgasm, and he treated it like playing hide and seek. He never in this entire time penetrated me or asked me to perform sexual acts on him (even though I offered from time to time). Around 11 I learned about "pedophiles" and how evil they were and how they just wanted to hurt children. I asked him about this and he said most pedophiles did not want to hurt kids, the ones who did are just the ones who make the news. He was still casual about it, treating it like nothing. After a while I stopped asking for orgasms as much, maybe once a week. When I turned 15 he sat down and told me that I shouldn't "rely on him" for sexual relief, and that I should venture out with others that were more my age. After that, we just stopped. I still love my dad and see him all the time, everyone always says how close we are. I never really understood the other post I see from time to time on here about how kids were scared for life because of their parents performing sexual acts on them. I guess it was just because I never thought of sex as anything bad and my dad was always so casual about it.
For anyone wondering about my mom, she died when I was younger. oh and if you want AMA
Would you let your husband do the same to your daughter?
I can't believe no one has ask this yet. It seems you don't have any kids right? And you've already stated that if you do, you don't plan on having this type of "relationship" with them. You've also state that you're still very close to your dad and see him all the time right? So here's my biggest question:
Are you going to allow your kids to spend time with him? If so will it be supervised or unsupervised? Are you ready to explain to your kids/partner why they can't be with grandpa unsupervised?
Did you father get aroused at this? Or was it just something he did to apease you? I find this all very confusing.
I won't judge you or anything, you seem to be an adult, happy about your life and i don't want to change anything.
What exactly did your dad do to you? Are you Female?
He performed oral on me, and yes I am.
Not sure if you are real or just someone trolling, but if it did not influence you badly in any way, then there is nothing to talk about.
However, remember, your dad took a risk - it was totally possible that you would have turned out ashamed of this history, and it would have messed up your mind and life like the other kids. So just consider yourself lucky. Your dad is still a fool, for taking that risk. He and you got lucky, but not every one is like that. So if it comes to you and your son/daughter, I would recommend that you dont give them orgasms.
Whoa whoa whoa. Kids are resilient, and just because they might "bounce back" from something that is wrong and unhealthy doesn't mean that it does no harm, doesn't "influence [them] badly in any way", etc. There are a lot of people trying to convince the world that pedophilia isn't wrong because kids often "turn out ok", but that's just because of the resiliency. Take a look at any peer reviewed, scholarly article and maybe you'll see how twisted this is.
I could be wrong, but I don't think that the actual sexual part of it hurts the kids(assuming there is no penetration when they're not ready) . I think being told how wrong it was and having your parent(s) taken away is a large part of it.
a lot of people and "professionals" will argue to death that she is traumatized, despite not being in the least. There HAS TO BE damage somewhere in there because thats normal. Well, not all the time as you can see
You are absolutely right, not_a_believer
Uh, I'm glad you're a normal human being and almost glad that your dad was a "benevolent Pedophile" if there is such a thing...
Also, I don't thing that there is anything wrong with your behavior asking for orgasms as a kid.. you're a kid and kids just think completely differently, they're pure and expect no harm. But your dad is kinda fucked up in the head, though I almost wanna commend him for not having intercourse with you and other even worse things...
basically, I have not idea how I feel about any of this lmfao
If you already have kids or if you have them in the future will you teach them about sex the same way?
I plan on being open about sex but not having any sort of relationship with them. mostly because A. I'm not attracted to kids and B. There are a lot of various risk involved such as someone catching on and her being scarred.
There is definitely a few disturbing things about all of this. First, how does an 8 year old hear about orgasms and ask their Dad about it. My guess is since he was open about sex you learned the term from him. And maybe he was "open about sex" just hoping that his daughter would ask him to show her things. Second, when you asked at age 8 why didn't he just tell you it's an adult thing and you should only learn about it when you're ready? Third, when he did tell you what it is why couldn't he have said you'll need to learn how to masturbate yourself? I don't need to explain how wrong it is for adults to touch kids. Maybe you only think it's normal because of how you were raised, but it is definitely not normal and also illegal. It's good you are fairly normal now, although thinking dads can play with their childrens genitals is messed up.
I'm with you on most of this, but I disagree completely at the begining. It isn't at all strange for a kid to hear about sex and orgasm that young, and I think going to your parents to ask what things are, and having parents talk about them opening is not really a bad thing at all. Frankly, I wish my parents had talked to me instead of shoving "growing up" books at me. Fun fact - girls growing up books don't tell you how to make yourself feel book. They actually completely avoid that whole vaginal area. Pubic hair and periods are discussed, but not anything about sex. Most girls have to learn from friends, the internet, or partners. In fact, I don't even think it would have been wrong for him to tell her what masterbation was and even find an appropriately tame website to show her how a female might do that.
Other than that, I do think lines were crossed. OP, the reason that such things are generally thought of as harmful is not that a parent gets taken, it's that sex acts with family members take on a problematic level of loyalty, and of power relations. Child can't easily say no to parents or adults, so they either don't or they naturally assume they want what is happening. By nature, children don't have the mental faculties to realize, legally the choices involved with consent, which is why there are ages of consent. Children tend not to have a concept of "wrong" beyond "because an authority says so" or at best "it makes someone sad" and that has problems when it comes to healthy sexual relations.
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