Hard Cowgirl

Hard Cowgirl

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(Image credit: Design by Monica Park)
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Ideal for lazy girls and pillow princesses.
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Don't get me wrong, cowgirl position works for a lot of women. I get it. When I asked a few friends for their opinion, the feedback was mixed. Some say it's their favorite position of all time (opens in new tab) . Others would rather clean the skid marks out of their partner's underwear.
One friend candidly told me that she'd, "Sooner nix sex forever than be forced to go through an entire sex session on top (opens in new tab) ." A little morbid, but point taken.
I'm with her on this one. I cannot stress enough how much I loathe cowgirl (opens in new tab) . Unless I lie forward and grind, I'm not into it. It's legitimately a full cardio workout. I'm more exhausted after being on top than after an hour with my peppy spin instructor, Denise. There are moments during cowgirl when I wonder if I will have a heart attack. My epitaph will read, "She died while riding that D, as her friends and loved ones would have hoped."
Seriously, expecting me to come in this position is like expecting me to be okay with handing over my bank account à la The Handmaid's Tale (opens in new tab) . It isn't going to happen.
As a sex educator, sexual pioneer (if I do say so myself), and bonafide pillow princess (opens in new tab) , I have spent years perfecting the art of a lazy, clitorially satisfying cowgirl position—as well as some brilliantly coy ways to avoid it altogether.
Here is the lowdown on what to do if cowgirl just isn't working for you.
I refer to this position as "The Pillow Prayer." Cowgirl often entails bouncing up and down at a rapid and uncomfortable speed. I find myself so distressed by the treacherous toll gravity is taking on my poor bosom, while simultaneously trying not to vomit, that I can't enjoy myself in the least.
Sure, you can slow it down and grind your clitoris against your partner's penis/dildo and pelvis, but it's only a matter of time before he or she is going to want you to bounce again. I get it, it's more pleasurable for the other person and they deserve to feel good.
So, to add some extra lift, take two pillows and stick them under each knee. This is most successful with couch pillows, as they are less squishy than your sleeping pillows. Your partner still gets the full range of motion, but you don't have to bounce as high. Trust me, it makes a big difference to the thigh burn.
Use your words to guide your partner into an alternate position. Your partner probably won't get turned on by you saying something like, "I'd rather sink with the Titanic," when they inquire about cowgirl.
Instead, use your sexiest voice (opens in new tab) to suggest something else, something you'd really enjoy. Try, "I'd much rather let you take me from behind, babe. You're so sexy when you dominate me." Be creative.
Avoid taking the fire out of the moment (opens in new tab) and simply shift the moment to something else.
Truth be told, it's kind of hard to avoid cowgirl forever. You might be kind of lazy, but you don't want your partner to *think* you're lazy.
Lotus is a great alternative to cowgirl because you're still on top, being a little sexy minx, but you're not on the brink of death the entire time. To pull off lotus, have your partner sit up on the bed and straddle him or her so you're sitting face to face.
You can rock back and forth for optimal clitoral stimulation, all while being in control. Since you're able to passionately make out while you're doing it, it adds an extra layer of intimacy that is very sensual.
We've established that thigh burn is a B, so take some of that strain off by utilizing your upper body. While bouncing with your lower half, lean forward and place your forearms on either side of your partner's head.
He or she gets a wondrous face full of tits and you get a reprieve from teetering on the brink of death. Truth be told, this one gets exhausting after a few minutes as well, but it will allow you stay in cowgirl for a few minutes longer than usual.
Two out of three women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (opens in new tab) . When you're wildly bouncing up and down, your clit often gets neglected. Plus, all that aforementioned thigh burning can take you out of the moment.
Bring a couples vibrator into the bedroom and have your partner use it on you. He or she will be distracted by giving you pleasure, which gets you off the hook from bouncing. Plus, you *will* come on top.
It is very sexy to see your partner so turned on. For easy partner-play fun, try the Fin from Dame (opens in new tab) . It's easy to use, stays in place, and id all around non-threatening.
If you get down on your forearms and start to near your tap out point, curve your belly under, like the "cat" yoga position. This will give your partner room to top you from the bottom.
You get to stay stationary in an isometric hold, while your partner sets the pace. He or she is in control, even though you have given the impression that you're in control. Make it extra hot by telling your partner how sexy it is when he or she tops you from the bottom.
Go forth and get some. You've got this.
Follow Marie Claire on F (opens in new tab) acebook (opens in new tab) for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.

4-year-old Theo looked *so happy* to meet her.

Get ready for a year of highly anticipated dramas.

Who said game nights need to be wholesome?

Good sex should always go smoothly.

For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.

Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.

These actors aren't faking anything.

"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."

Marie Claire is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site .
© Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.

(opens in new tab)

(opens in new tab)

(opens in new tab)

Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands

Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors

(Image credit: Design by Monica Park)
(Image credit: Design by Monica Park)
More stories to check out before you go
Marie Claire is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s why you can trust us .
Ideal for lazy girls and pillow princesses.
Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!
Thank you for signing up to . You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
Don't get me wrong, cowgirl position works for a lot of women. I get it. When I asked a few friends for their opinion, the feedback was mixed. Some say it's their favorite position of all time (opens in new tab) . Others would rather clean the skid marks out of their partner's underwear.
One friend candidly told me that she'd, "Sooner nix sex forever than be forced to go through an entire sex session on top (opens in new tab) ." A little morbid, but point taken.
I'm with her on this one. I cannot stress enough how much I loathe cowgirl (opens in new tab) . Unless I lie forward and grind, I'm not into it. It's legitimately a full cardio workout. I'm more exhausted after being on top than after an hour with my peppy spin instructor, Denise. There are moments during cowgirl when I wonder if I will have a heart attack. My epitaph will read, "She died while riding that D, as her friends and loved ones would have hoped."
Seriously, expecting me to come in this position is like expecting me to be okay with handing over my bank account à la The Handmaid's Tale (opens in new tab) . It isn't going to happen.
As a sex educator, sexual pioneer (if I do say so myself), and bonafide pillow princess (opens in new tab) , I have spent years perfecting the art of a lazy, clitorially satisfying cowgirl position—as well as some brilliantly coy ways to avoid it altogether.
Here is the lowdown on what to do if cowgirl just isn't working for you.
I refer to this position as "The Pillow Prayer." Cowgirl often entails bouncing up and down at a rapid and uncomfortable speed. I find myself so distressed by the treacherous toll gravity is taking on my poor bosom, while simultaneously trying not to vomit, that I can't enjoy myself in the least.
Sure, you can slow it down and grind your clitoris against your partner's penis/dildo and pelvis, but it's only a matter of time before he or she is going to want you to bounce again. I get it, it's more pleasurable for the other person and they deserve to feel good.
So, to add some extra lift, take two pillows and stick them under each knee. This is most successful with couch pillows, as they are less squishy than your sleeping pillows. Your partner still gets the full range of motion, but you don't have to bounce as high. Trust me, it makes a big difference to the thigh burn.
Use your words to guide your partner into an alternate position. Your partner probably won't get turned on by you saying something like, "I'd rather sink with the Titanic," when they inquire about cowgirl.
Instead, use your sexiest voice (opens in new tab) to suggest something else, something you'd really enjoy. Try, "I'd much rather let you take me from behind, babe. You're so sexy when you dominate me." Be creative.
Avoid taking the fire out of the moment (opens in new tab) and simply shift the moment to something else.
Truth be told, it's kind of hard to avoid cowgirl forever. You might be kind of lazy, but you don't want your partner to *think* you're lazy.
Lotus is a great alternative to cowgirl because you're still on top, being a little sexy minx, but you're not on the brink of death the entire time. To pull off lotus, have your partner sit up on the bed and straddle him or her so you're sitting face to face.
You can rock back and forth for optimal clitoral stimulation, all while being in control. Since you're able to passionately make out while you're doing it, it adds an extra layer of intimacy that is very sensual.
We've established that thigh burn is a B, so take some of that strain off by utilizing your upper body. While bouncing with your lower half, lean forward and place your forearms on either side of your partner's head.
He or she gets a wondrous face full of tits and you get a reprieve from teetering on the brink of death. Truth be told, this one gets exhausting after a few minutes as well, but it will allow you stay in cowgirl for a few minutes longer than usual.
Two out of three women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (opens in new tab) . When you're wildly bouncing up and down, your clit often gets neglected. Plus, all that aforementioned thigh burning can take you out of the moment.
Bring a couples vibrator into the bedroom and have your partner use it on you. He or she will be distracted by giving you pleasure, which gets you off the hook from bouncing. Plus, you *will* come on top.
It is very sexy to see your partner so turned on. For easy partner-play fun, try the Fin from Dame (opens in new tab) . It's easy to use, stays in place, and id all around non-threatening.
If you get down on your forearms and start to near your tap out point, curve your belly under, like the "cat" yoga position. This will give your partner room to top you from the bottom.
You get to stay stationary in an isometric hold, while your partner sets the pace. He or she is in control, even though you have given the impression that you're in control. Make it extra hot by telling your partner how sexy it is when he or she tops you from the bottom.
Go forth and get some. You've got this.
Follow Marie Claire on F (opens in new tab) acebook (opens in new tab) for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.

4-year-old Theo looked *so happy* to meet her.

Get ready for a year of highly anticipated dramas.

Who said game nights need to be wholesome?

Good sex should always go smoothly.

For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.

Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.

These actors aren't faking anything.

"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."

Marie Claire is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site .
© Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021
Many people describe the cowgirl position as mutually satisfying, yet also empowering for the person on top. This sex position is popular among some people with vaginas , as they might find it easier to orgasm .
This position may be best known as the cowgirl position, but it can also be called the cowboy, rider, or cowperson position for people of all gender identities.
The cowgirl position requires a partner. It's generally described by experts as a position for two people, including one person with a penis and one person with a vagina . However, with the right accessories, any gender pairing could work.
The position requires the person with the penis to lie down with their legs straight, while the person receiving penetration kneels on top with their legs out to either side of the person lying down. The partners face each other.
Reverse cowgirl and horizontal cowgirl are variations of the traditional cowgirl sex position.
In the reverse cowgirl position, the person on top straddles the person with the penis while facing their feet. According to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., as quoted in Men’s Health, this should be done slowly as the angle in this position is slightly unnatural. This position gives the person lying down a view of their partner's buttocks.
According to certified sexuality educator August McLaughlin, as quoted in Shape, if the traditional cowgirl position is too deep or painful for you, try reverse cowgirl with your partner's knees propped up so that you have something to hold onto.
The horizontal cowgirl position starts with the person with the penis lying down with their legs straight while the person on top straddles them, like in a regular cowgirl position. The difference is that the person on top then slowly lowers themself until the partners are chest to chest.
The Person on Top Does All the Work
The person lying down during the cowgirl position doesn't have to play a passive role. They can help lift the hips or thighs of the person on top to support them. They can also lift their pelvis and thrust. Doing this also means that the person on top won't tire as easily.
Another way for the person on bottom to play a more active role is by having the person on top lean on their forearms, curve their belly under, and hold this position. Their partner then lifts their pelvis to thrust.
It Pleasures the Person with the Penis More
In a study, researchers found that 75% of women are unable to have an orgasm with just sexual intercourse, and 83% usually need clitorial stimulation to orgasm. The clitoris is sensitive tissue that can be stimulated when someone with a vagina is aroused.
There are a few ways to adapt the cowgirl position so that the clitoris gets more stimulation. One way is by having either person stimulate the clitoris while in this position. The person on top can also lean forward so that their clitoris rubs on their partner's pelvis.
Another way is by using sex toys like vibrators or penis rings.
Cowgirl position takes some concentration to make the experience safe and enjoyable. Partners should talk to each other about what they’re comfortable doing and watch out for potential injury risks.
Talk to Your Partner about Trying the Cowgirl Position
Sex is psychological, says certified sex coach Layla Martin in Cosmopolitan. Being on top puts the person with the vagina in a vulnerable position, so it might be intimidating for some people. It's important to communicate with your partner about trying new positions.
You could also discuss trying the different variations — traditional, reverse, or horizontal cowgirl — to see what feels most comfortable to you. The person on top might say that they feel more comfortable with reverse cowgirl as it takes away the eye-contact.
Someone who is self-conscious about their chest or stomach may also prefer reverse cowgirl since it allows them to face away from their partner, certified sexuality educator Ellie Chase says in Shape.
In the cowgirl position, there is potential for the penis to slip out and push against the partner's pelvis or buttocks, causing possible injury. There is a higher likelihood of this happening in the reverse cowgirl position.
A study in Brazil found that about half the number of people with penile fractures had sustained the injury while in the cowgirl position.
A penis has no bones, but when erect, it has two cylinders of erectile tissue that fill with blood. If an erect penis is bent forcefully, the outer lining of these cylinders can tear, making a popping or cracking sound along with swelling, bruising, discoloration, and pain.
To keep this from happening, the person with the penis can hold onto their partner's hips to help control penetration. The person on top can also focus on grinding or rocking instead of bouncing up and down.
If this position is new for you and your partner, take it slow and first and communicate to minimize the risks and maximize your enjoyment.
Advances in Urology : "Mechanisms Predisposing Penile Fracture and Long-Term Outcomes on Erectile and Voiding Functions."
Cosmopolitan: "7 Sex Acts That Could Actually Break a Penis."
Cosmopolitan: "16 Things to Know if You Want to Make On-Top Sex SO Much Better."
Cosmopolitan: "Here’s How to Master Reverse Cowgirl."
Marie Claire: "What to Do If Cowgirl Position Isn't Working for You."
Mayo Clinic: "Is it possible to fractu
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