Hall Pass Cheating With Permission

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Hall Pass Cheating With Permission

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Is cheating with permission consider a betrayal?
How long do couples normally stay together after cheating and betrayal happens?
Do wives continue to have sex with their cheating husbands?
My wife has given me permission to sleep with other women. How do I do so without feeling guilty?
Should a cheating wife bring her boyfriend to the home which she shares with her husband?
If your husband or wife asked you for permission to have an affair, what would your reaction be?
Marvel movie enthusiast · Author has 1.5K answers and 6.9M answer views · 9 mo ·
How long do couples normally stay together after cheating and betrayal happens?
Do wives continue to have sex with their cheating husbands?
My wife has given me permission to sleep with other women. How do I do so without feeling guilty?
Should a cheating wife bring her boyfriend to the home which she shares with her husband?
If your husband or wife asked you for permission to have an affair, what would your reaction be?
Can a wife allow her husband to cheat on her?
What is the ultimate betrayal of cheating?
What should I do if my husband knows I slept with someone else?
Why am I so rude and disrespectful to my husband after he cheated and continues to flirt and lie?
How do I forgive cheating and betrayal?
How long do couples normally stay together after cheating and betrayal happens?
Do wives continue to have sex with their cheating husbands?
My wife has given me permission to sleep with other women. How do I do so without feeling guilty?
Should a cheating wife bring her boyfriend to the home which she shares with her husband?
If your husband or wife asked you for permission to have an affair, what would your reaction be?
Can a wife allow her husband to cheat on her?
What is the ultimate betrayal of cheating?
What should I do if my husband knows I slept with someone else?
Why am I so rude and disrespectful to my husband after he cheated and continues to flirt and lie?
How do I forgive cheating and betrayal?
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I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with it but some people have open relationships to where both are okay with having multiple partners and if they are both in agreement with that sort of arraignment I might not understand it but wouldn’t see it as a betrayal.

If your husband gave you permission to have sex with another guy on occasion, would you do it? Can you think of people in the past you met during your marriage that you would have "done" if you had a "hall pass"? What is the option was one-sided: meaning he would stay faithful but you could stray from time to time, nothing longterm, if you fancied doing so? For those who say no, what if it were just to do stuff short of actual sex, like involved kissing at a club or parties, or maybe a hand job, etc?

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My (23M) wife (25F) wants my permission to let her sleep with someone she knows from work. She says she will let me sleep with any woman of my choice if I let her do so. What do I do?
relationship_advice
Original (deleted)

So we have been married for a little over a year. It’s been a pretty happy marriage. We have had small arguments as any couples would, but nothing crazy. We have never talked about an open marriage or sharing each other before. The other day my wife comes up to me and asks me if I would sleep with another woman if I had a free pass. I told her no, she was who I wanted and more than enough for me. She rolled her eyes and looked a little annoyed with what I said, which surprised me because I thought that would make her happy. She said “really, not with anyone? That’s a load of crap” I stood by my answer. She then admitted that she would. I asked who. After a bit of coaxing she finally told me that there is a colleague at work that she would hook up with. I asked if she had talked to him about it or if they had any type of sexual relationship. She denied it. The conversation ended shortly after that. I was a little suspicious so I started to look through her phone. In her photos I noticed many nudes that had never been sent to me. I talked to her about this and she admitted that she had been sending them to the guy at work and that they have been sexting. Since this was now out in the open she asked my permission for her to meet up with him. She said that the conditions were that they would meet up less than 5 times, it would only sexual and not emotional or anything like that, and that I could have a free pass too. I was shocked that she would do this to me. She had never been overly flirty with other guys or talked to them in front of me before. I thought she was shy around most people and timid. She just admitted that she finds him so hot and attractive and knows that she would never have the opportunity to meet up with someone like this again. She also mentioned how he had a bigger package than any she had ever seen. She said that his personality is awful and it would never be anything more than sex, that this is just something that she would regret if she didn’t do it. She told me that she loved me in bed, but this was just something new that she wanted to experience and that she would never do it again. As I had told her in the beginning, I only want her and don’t want a free pass. She keeps insisting saying that she would feel really bad if she does it and I don’t take advantage of my free pass. She even offered to talk to some of her friends to see if they would be interested or try to find me someone elsewhere. I told her I didn’t know what to say and that I’d think about it. So what do I do? Do I try to go along with this? Do I break it off? We do truly love each other so that would be so hard. I know she loves me a lot.
I consider what she has done already cheating, (taking nudes and sexting a man behind your back) and most other people would too. In my opinion, as much as you love her, you should consider divorce, as I have the assumption that if you said no, she would do it anyways since she was already cheating through sexting and didn’t consider it an issue.
How is he going to take it knowing she is thinking about this guy and not him every day? That if he says no, she could just be screwing him at work?
Heck, I used to hook up with a woman from another company in the same building that I used to work at in the freight elevator, the parking garage, the office when working late. He needs to be done with this woman.
She insists that she was going to tell me before they actually met up. I would be more worried if I thought that she would actually leave me for him. But as she said, it’s only because of how he would be in bed. Maybe we can make an open marriage work if needed? I still don’t know how I feel about sleeping with another woman.
$10 says she’s already blown him, or held his cock in her hands bro.
I’d be on that gamble because it sounds like my man is rearing to get played with the mindset he currently has
She's treating him like a pushover because he obviously is one.
Really is. But on a serious note OP. If you feel like you aren’t comfortable with your wife sleeping with someone else or you sleeping with someone else then don’t open your marriage. It’s not fair to you at all and you have to understand this and understand why. A marriage has to involve a lot of cooperation and compromise, but some things just can’t be cooperated or compromised. If opening up your marriage is going to hurt you or make you uncomfortable then don’t. You owe it to yourself and her to be happy in your marriage, right now I see you trying to convince yourself to compromise while you’re clearly hurting and I think you’re wrong to do so. Man up and put your foot down. Don’t let her or anyone do things that will make you be unhappy/miserable, regardless of the love you have for them.
If he's good maybe he'll be allowed to watch.
How would you like to receive this $10?
An open relationship requires even greater honesty and willingness to put the brakes on situations that fall into a gray area until you've had the chance to talk to your partner about them and get clarity. She's not demonstrating she can or even wants to try and put in that work.
She’s promised me that she will be better about communicating in the future and that she will tell me before something happens from now on. I hope this is true. I’ve never caught her in a lie before this happened
Stop being so stupid man, this has to be fake as you have less of a spine than a jellyfish
It’s not, It’s just hard for other people to understand my love for her. I want a solution that is not getting a divorce. It would ruin my life if I didn’t get to stay with her. My life would be more ruined if I divorced her than if she slept with other men.
You may “love her” but she obviously doesn’t give a flying fuck about you.
If she cared as much as she claims too, none of this bullshit would’ve happened. She never would’ve even considered this.
So here’s what you do: grow a goddamn pair, be a fucking man and take out the goddamn trash.
You meet with a lawyer, follow his/her advice and tell her nothing. FILE FOR DIVORCE. When the papers are filed, tell the bitch to have fun with her boytoy and to never ever contact you again.
When all is finished, pat yourself on the back for growing a spine, and buy yourself a GTO convertible. Enjoy life until you meet a girl who actually cares. This one obviously doesn’t, and probably never did.
You meet with a lawyer, follow his/her advice and tell her nothing. FILE FIR DIVORCE. When the papers are filed, tell the bitch to have fun with her boytoy and to never ever contact you again.
Love how he said it would "destroy" his life. He is 23yo, it is just the start. To me she wouldn't be the right one as it would break all my trust on her.
That’s what I was thinking. They are SO young. OFC she’s wants to bang someone else. You want to bang lots of people at 25 lol
Right. Staying with her will destroy his life.
We can stop this whole post now. This is the answer.
Fam she already did the part of ruining your life. She set the conditions for it to end for lying to you.
These open relationships and non-monogamous situations don't work if everyone isn't upfront, honest, and communicative. She already wasn't, was caught in a lie, and you're posting here to Reddit.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
I know this wasn’t the best way to start a conversation about having an open marriage, but I do believe her that she was going to tell me before they actually met up, and I do respect that. I think if I told her she couldn’t that she would probably listen to me. I just don’t know. It’s hard to tell her no. Especially with how she has described the situation. It’s like a dream for her
Are you missing the entire part where she DID try to tell you???
She tried to get you to admit to wanting sex from someone else so that SHE could then go do it herself! She didn't give a s***t whether you actually wanted to sleep with anyone else she was trying to trap you into a decision.
When you told her no and THEN started asking questions, well then she HAD to admit what was up.
She is lying to you. She DOES NOT VALUE you or your feelings.
It's a dream for her, but it's still disrespectful to you.
She hid sexting from you which is bad enough. I don't think you can make this work you dude. Have some backbone.
I'm really flabbergasted how you can be this stupid. She already lied to you and cheated on you dozens of times, yet somehow you believe her still.
Not to mention, she would have "told" you, before they meet up? Meaning she has made up her mind and will make the decision for both of you, your feelings and your opinion on this are irrelevant to her.
How the fuck do you not realize that she doesnt actually give a rats ass about you?
I'm really flabbergasted how you can be this stupid. He already lied to you and cheated on you dozens of times, yet somehow you believe her still.
Holy shit dude you're letting her walk all over you, dont put anyone on a pedestal like that.
The only person I would ever put before my own interests is my daughter, and that's literally the only exception, you have to love yourself first and foremost, unless you have kids.
You’re not the first person to ever fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back the same.
I have literally read this exact post countless times, and have had friends tell me word for word the same thing. You guys don’t have a special relationship, and she isn’t different from other girls. In a year or two she’ll leave and you’ll wonder why you never saw it coming. Everyone has seen this play out before.
Love isn’t enough, man. And honestly this sounds more like low self esteem and codependency than love. If y’all split up, you would be ok and could learn to love yourself by yourself.
It’s just hard for other people to understand my love for her
Lmao at loving someone who obviously doesn't return it or deserve it.
You should head on over to r/polyamory or r/nonmonogamy . She's already told you this will not be the last time by saying she will communicate better next time. She essentially wants to have her cake and eat it too - which if fine if you do too and this dynamic was explored openly and honestly. That was not the case. She cheated on you, only came clean because you found the photos and then decided, "since it's all in the open, can I just fuck this big dick dude 5 times or else I'll regret it"....
Does she regret hurting you? Betraying you? Lying to you? Sounds like your happiness doesn't factor into hers.
You say a divorce would ruin your life, and it would suck, one big hurt. But this is the first of many small hurts especially since you're showing her there are no consequences for the way she treats you.... After 10 years and a million little hurts, further entanglement and possibly children, you will wish you had dealt with the one big hurt and reclaimed your life before it was that much harder to self extricate.
So did every other cheaters out there, have some self respect dude
She's already been lying to you and you clearly don't seem to want to consider leaving her. So what exactly are you looking for from us?
Shut the fuck up man. There's no "being better". She already crossed a huge line and countless times. Throw that whole scumbag bitch away.
So you say that you are not ok with it and her response that she promises that she won't lie next time? That means she knows there are going to be other times and that you won't do anything about it. Why believe a proven liar when they say they won't do it again? Dude. Even if only nudes so far which I highly doubt, that is already cheating. She isn't thinking about coming home to you but how to get you out of the way so that she can go home to someone that isn't her husband.
Preface, I'm married, have been for over a decade, so far. You're defending her forcing you into a situation that you're not comfortable with. That's abusive behavior. If I were you I'd stop replying, stop defending, and just absorb all of this advice for a while. Based on the things you've said and the things you said she said...you're in for a bumpy fuckin' ride, homie. In all likelihood she's probably already slept with the person at work and is playing catch-up to try and negate her transgression by getting you to do the same shit. More abuse. Don't do it. Get counseling, for yourself and the both of you.
he insists that she was going to tell me before they actually met up
No dude. She gauged your response and when it wasn't in her favor, already lied to you. Want to know why? It would be easier with your permission but when it wasn't granted, she was already on the "I'll do it anyways" train. Why did she think that you might say yes? She thinks that you are a pushover, which is what you are being.
Stand up for yourself by just walking away.
The first time you taste that guy's dick on her lips, you will regret ever thinking about this. No, just don't do it.
My guy, why even come here if you’re unwilling to see the truth?
Shes probably already slept with him. Also sexting and sending nudes is cheating. Because she didnt initially tell you it's also lying. Dont get played shes telling you a good story b uh t dont believe it. For fucks sake it's been a year and shes already wanting to sleep with others. Not a good sign. Divorce... I demand it!
Dude she already fucked him, accept it.
Don’t sleep with another woman or have an open marriage if YOU don’t want it, BEFORE she endlessly wears you down or gaslights you into agreeing. Like seriously. You already know your answer. And she’s already cheated on you, even if she hasn’t physically touched him yet (which I believe she has). Sorry
Not sure why you are being down voted with this reply. Honestly only you two can decide if this will work or if an open marriage will work. If you are comfortable with allowing her to sleep with this guy it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to sleep with someone else. Maybe invite him over for a drink and get to know him, see what they are like around each other and then make that decision. I don't think this problem is divorce worthy...I think more communication is needed. See how she feels if you guys did it together or if she would be willing to have you in the room or at the same hotel. Or just don't do it...there are plenty of options for you guys. Good luck.
Thanks for this reply. These are some good ideas. I think I would like to meet the guy before they do anything. I haven’t decided if I would like to be there when they do stuff or not. Do you think it would be better to watch and see what they are doing or just be alone and guess or just to try and not think about it?
She’s already made an open marriage impossible; to have a sustainable open marriage you need communication, clear boundaries, complete trust and respect. The fact she’s been sexting and sen
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