Hair Salon Bondage

Hair Salon Bondage
Inside San Francisco's kink-friendly hair salon: 'My clients have called me their hair dominatrix'
Sep. 29, 2019 Updated: Sep. 30, 2019 10:31 a.m.
Queer nun activists reach agreement with Folsom Street Fair
SF kink community grieves loss of Center for Sex and Culture

Shopping

People are flipping this lululemon bag for twice its...

Shopping

Amazon Prime now includes free Grubhub delivery

Shopping

LEGO is reissuing a classic set worth $2,500 online for...

Shopping

Trapper Keepers are back and they're on sale

LEGO is releasing a massive 2,800-piece Bowser set

Here's how to get a free $20 credit for Prime Day
Please log in to view your profile.

Your Choices Regarding Cookies
We and third parties may deploy cookies and similar technologies when you use our site. Please review the information below and select the cookies that you want to enable. You can continue to the site without accepting these cookies but certain features may not be available or function properly.

Editorial, Functionality and Social Media Cookies
We use third-party services for commenting, videos, and embedding posts as part of our news coverage. The providers of these cookies may use the data as explained in their privacy policies.

Twitter ( Privacy Policy ) Facebook ( Privacy Policy ) Select All
Performance, Content Recommendation and Personalization Cookies
We use our own and third-party services to provide content recommendations and customize your user experience and advertising. The providers of these cookies may use the data as explained in their privacy policies.

Taboola ( Privacy Policy ) Nativo ( Privacy Policy ) Blueconic ( Privacy Policy ) Realm Select All
Analytics
We use cookies to analyze and measure traffic to the site so that we know our audience, what stories are read, where visitors come from, and how long they stay. You can opt out of these analytics cookies by unselecting the boxes below.

Parsely ( Privacy Policy ) Google Analytics ( Privacy Policy ) Chartbeat ( Privacy Policy )

This is a carousel. Use Next and Previous buttons to navigate
Some of the stylists of Hairetics, a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco just off Folsom Street.
Marissa Lenhardt poses with her new cut and color by Hairetics owner and stylist Heather Jordan.
Stylist Crystal Jane and client Rae Lung.
Hairetics owner and stylist Heather Jordan poses for a photo.
Hairetics is a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco.
Nick Baldassini shows off his new kink-inspired 'do, created by stylist Crystal Jane.
Hairetics is a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco.
A kink-friendly cut and color seen on Natalia Galynker, created by stylist Pasha Lenee.
Hairetics is a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco.
Hairetics is a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco.
Krys Gerdes is bold in braids. Style by Britany Madoski of Hairetics.
Hairetics is a kink-friendly hair salon in San Francisco.
A portrait of one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence by Bay Area artist Summer Rae. This art is among other works on display at Hairetics, a kink-friendly hair salon.
Rae Lung has their hair styled and cut by Crystal Jane.
Bubba, the beloved mascot of Hairetics, is appropriately accessorized for the fair.
Nick Baldassini shows off his new kink-inspired 'do, created by stylist Crystal Jane.
Shepard Gault gets ready for a kinky close-up. Gault's color and tinsel extensions were styled by Lisa Swiss, while stylist Crystal Jane cut their hair.
Carly Morrison poses in a leather inspired look and pixie cut, styled by Britany Madoski.
The staff of Hairetics pose for a photo.
People take part in the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, Calif. Sunday, September 24, 2018.
People take part in the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, Calif. Sunday, September 24, 2018.
People take part in the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, Calif. Sunday, September 24, 2018.
People take part in the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, Calif. Sunday, September 24, 2018.
The fliers created for the 2018 Folsom Street Fair.
It's a foggy Friday afternoon in SoMa, and the Folsom Street Fair is looming. Flyers featuring kinky drink specials are scattered along the sidewalk, and a small throng of men are gathered outside of Leather Etc, showing off their new harnesses and bondage gear.
On Seventh Street, near the outskirts of the historic leather district, stands Hairetics , a full-service — and kink friendly — hair salon.
"We offer everything from the boldest mohawk to the softest highlights," said owner and hair stylist/colorist Heather Jordan. She's a Bay Area native and has lived in San Francisco since the 1990s, coming up in a scene of intertwined communities — goth, gay, leather, fetish and rock n' roll. "Having grown up as a weirdo — all of us being the weirdos — I don't know how to be anything other than queer and kink friendly."
Inside the salon, the scent of burning sage wafts through the air. A soothing dream pop melody plays over the speakers, punctuated by the occasional roar of a hair dryer. Lining the walls are framed photos of drag performers in various preparation stages of their makeovers, as well as painted portraits of Sisters Roma, Phyliss and MaeJoyBeWithYou of queer activist group the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence .
The Sisters are not only subjects of the salon's forthcoming art show, "A Rose by Any Other Name," but some are friends of the stylists. Jordan said proceeds from the benefit event on Oct. 5 will go directly back to the Sisters.
"They're quintessential San Francisco," she said. "When I think of the city, I think of that scene from 'Tales of the City' with the roller-skating nuns in drag ... that is exactly what you would expect to see walking down the street here. It looks so crazy and decadent on the surface, so anti-establishment and sacrilegious to a point. But to see them giving back to their community ... that's SF."
For their five-year anniversary last February, Hairetics held another benefit show, "Bannable Offense," a curated photography exhibition commenting on controversial bills SESTA (Stop Internet Sex Traffickers Act) and FOSTA (the Allow State and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act.)
"I am a sadist and also a leather daddy, which is different and something you might not expect from someone who wears a lot of pink," Rae Lung remarks with a grin, seated comfortably in a salon chair. Their ensemble is temporarily shrouded in a black barber's cape, but hidden underneath is a cut-off pink muscle tee adorned with the gender-neutral statement, "All They Every Day."
They've completed the look with matching pink tights underneath faded denim shorts with two bandannas, black and green, dangling out of the left back pocket.
Hair stylist Crystal Jane instructs Rae to lean their head back into the shampoo bowl. Hot water rushes out of the faucet, and Rae pauses for a moment to enjoy a scalp massage and hair wash. Briefly, they close their eyes, a faint smile on their lips. As their freshly shorn mohawk is toweled dry, Rae continues to discuss their kinks.
"I like to beat the s— out of my partner and have them thank me for it, and the truth is that they love it, too," they explain, quick to add that consent is required for such an act. "That's the number one. Anything without it is abuse."
Hanging on the walls of the salon were portraits of female doms, women in leather and bondage as well as other snapshots of the subculture. Together, Jordan said, they addressed the overarching theme of anti-censorship and how the SESTA and FOSTA bills impact erotica, as well as legitimate and consensual sex work. In response, the salon exhibition raised hundreds of dollars for St. James Infirmary and Bay Area Workers Support.
"We pride ourselves on being inclusive and welcoming everybody," Jordan said. "It just makes sense to give back to our community."
When I initially approach Rae and Crystal, I overhear snippets of their conversation — there's talk of Rottweilers and howling. I awkwardly interject, asking if I can take some photos.
"Don't stop talking about dogs on my account, though," I say with a laugh. They laugh back. A moment too late, it dawns on me that they're talking about pup play, a kink (sexual or non) that involves role-playing as a dog.
It makes sense — Rae works for Wicked Grounds just a block away, the city's first and only kink cafe and boutique. Among its traditional offerings are coffee and sandwiches, though they're also the only place in the city where patrons can encourage their human puppies, or submissives, to drink from a dog bowl. Inside the cafe, a cage and bondage furniture can also be found.
Rae is a returning client of Hairetics, but is getting their mohawk cut and styled for Sunday's Folsom Street Fair escapades. They'll be working at Wicked Grounds' outreach booth, educating visitors about the toys and books sold at the cafe.
"Half of our job is being a kink concierge," they said. "We're one of the entry points into the kink community for people, because there's not a lot of expectations."
Crystal nods. "When clients come to me here and tell me they're interested in getting involved in kink, I point them there," she said.
As she styles Rae's mohawk into a perfect coif, I curl up into an adjacent dryer chair. They tell me they've been attending or participating in the fair for the past eight years. Both shared the same appreciation for its celebratory aspects.
"It's got good energy, and I love people just being themselves," Rae said. "People can be who they are, without feeling like they have to hide themselves or be anybody else."
Especially as the fair finds ways to become more inclusionary of femme and nonbinary individuals, as well as people of color.
Rae Lung has their hair styled and cut by Crystal Jane.
"I've been noticing more femme tops, which makes me extremely happy," Rae said, describing how they've seen more placing themselves in the dominant role of flogging, spanking or tying rope around their partner.
Pain is inevitable, but it all boils down to consent and open conversation. Crystal says she was taught the "safe, sane and consensual" code of BDSM ethics, meaning that parties involved in play must be aware of the risks attached to the act while minimizing them. They must also exhibit self control and avoid becoming carried away with the fantasy.
Rae adopts an alternative view known as Risk Aware Consensual Kink, which is notably more permissive of risky sexual behaviors.
"I will do everything in my power not to harm you, but if I'm hitting you with a metal rod, there's a chance I could do some damage," Rae said. "Both people need to know what the possible risks are. If you don't know the risks, you can't give proper consent."
Both emphasized "aftercare" following the act is essential — re-establishing bonds and getting back into the regular world. For some people, Rae said, it's cuddling. For others, it's talking. Some just want to take a nap. In other words, it's important for both parties to acknowledge that the experience was enjoyed and to show special care toward each other.
"Communication is key, just like in quote-on-quote 'normal' relationships," Crystal said.
But how does hair and self-expression come into play?
"Almost any look, theme, clothing can be a fetish," Folsom Street Events Executive Director Patrick Finger told The Chronicle in a recent guide to the fair.
For the staff and clients of Hairetics, that includes hair.
"It's part of our sexuality, our appearance, how we get up and choose to present ourselves," Crystal said. "As a stylist, I have the opportunity to use my caring, nurturing side. It's a huge part of what makes us feel beautiful."
For Rae, it's more than that. Getting their hair styled and colored serves as a way to achieve ownership of their body and presentation while they wait for a hysterectomy surgery.
Owner Heather Jordan has received her fair share of requests from kink-friendly clients as well. Some ask for braids, while others with dreadlocks ask for maintenance just before the fair so they can tie their hair up into complicated knots. She's also received requests from clients for their hair to be kept long at the nape so their partner could "get a good grip on it," or simply because they had a hair fetish.
"I had one or two consultations where a client's partner, who appeared to be their dom, was there to guide the conversation and choose the hair according to their contract," she said. Some submissive clients have also dyed their hair at the request of their dom.
Interestingly, Jordan believes that a huge ritual in hair care and styling is comparable to the protocols in the leather community. Clients must give up control, for one, and it's the job of the stylist to allow them to build trust and feel safe enough to give that up.
"I can tell you at least a dozen of my clients have called me their hair dominatrix over the years," she said with a chuckle. "It's an agreed upon power exchange that can be halted in a single word. Nobody is forced to do anything without being given prior consent. In a lot of ways, we serve our clientele, but they also give up that control to us."
As with any hair salon or barbershop, she believes the stylists at Hairetics also provide a form of therapy.
"The things people talk about when they sit in the chair," Jordan mused. "Our job is to listen without judgment, no questions asked."
She fondly recalls the salon's first year in business, around the time of the Folsom Street Fair. One client had requested dreadlock maintenance on the day of the fair, and his salon chair provided a world-class view of everyone walking from BART to Folsom Street.
"We were giggling at the sight of beautiful boys in their chaps and tiny little straps, and suddenly he asked, 'So, what is this event?'" she said. He had moved to the U.S. recently and didn't have a clue.
"I told him it was like a Kinky Christmas, and after the appointment was over, he may have wandered over to get a better look."
Amanda Bartlett is an SFGate editorial assistant. Email: amanda.bartlett@sfchronicle.com
Amanda Bartlett is a culture reporter for SFGATE. Prior to joining the newsroom in 2019, she worked for the Roxie Theater, Noise Pop and Frameline Film Festival. Bartlett graduated from the University of Iowa and lives in San Francisco.

If the issues continue, please contact our customer service at
Sign up for newsletters, change password and more
Place a vacation hold, make a payment and more
Access your exclusive member benefits

When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures.

When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures.
Salon boi's, rollerset gurls and permed princesses
Salon boi's, rollerset gurls and permed princesses
Salon boi's, rollerset gurls and permed princesses

News & Politics

Culture

Food

Science & Health

Life Stories

Video

About

Profile
Login/Sign Up
Sticky Header: off
Night Mode: off
Saved Articles
Go Ad-Free
Logout

Sticky Header

Night Mode

Published March 22, 2010 1:01PM (EDT)

Related Topics ------------------------------------------
Coupling
Love And Sex
Sex
Tmi

A few years ago, I put my old queen-size mattress up for sale on Craigslist. The first to show at my Brooklyn, N.Y., apartment was an attractive brunette in her mid-20s named Darla. She asked if she could lie down on it, and I politely averted my eyes as she bounced and flopped around. "I'll take it," she said. As we squeezed the mattress down the stairwell, she explained that she was on a roller derby team, and that it had kindled in her a new sense of self-confidence and female solidarity. After we tied the mattress to the roof of her Subaru, we exchanged numbers.
We talked amiably over the phone a few times, but I never asked her out. Then one day, I came across an ad in the Village Voice for a workshop called "Erotic Bondage and Dirty Domination," given by the adult sex shop Toys in Babeland. I was not involved in the BDSM scene -- in fact, I'd never even considered bringing sex toys, far less weapons, into the bedroom. But I thought it would be a kind of anthropological adventure for Darla and me. It might speed up the expensive and psychically exhausting courtship ritual, and give us a shared experience to discuss. At the very least, it was more original than a bar or a club or a show. A friend of mine had just been to an S/M party, and returned swearing that everyone should try it. That night, I sent a text message to Darla, suggesting we attend.
I should point out that I had only recently discovered the ease of texting. Suddenly, a hand-held device allowed me to write something I didn't have the courage to say to someone over the phone, never mind in person, and then to sit back and wait, burning with anticipation, for a response. The city at night seemed aglow with the variety of encounters this made possible. In truth, I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to the class. I was half-joking. I was also, frankly, a bit drunk.
Minutes later, a text arrived: "Sounds fun!"
And so on a cold night in November, I pushed open the heavy glass doors of Toys in Babeland's SoHo shop. Darla appeared soon after, zipped into a sleeping bag-length down jacket.
"Well, here we are!" she said brightly, kissing me on the cheek.
Two employees greeted us -- an effete young man in tight pants and a Mohawk, and a voluptuous black-haired girl in a jungle-green velour jumpsuit. Their expression
Self Cock Ball Torture
Teen Spank Stories
Katy Perry Nudes

Hair Salon Bondage

Report Page