Hailey Jane
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December 14, 2018 December 14, 2018
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Originally written 6/11/2019 – but I scrolled past tonight and re read it all, and it felt right to share
I debated on sharing something personal with you all or not, but let’s be honest I keep things real around here. You see, today marks eight years. Eight years since I lost my mom in an accident, and every day feels like it was yesterday. In many ways I struggle, but in so many I’ve defied the odds and have stuck with making this life thing work. When I threw on this shirt today and walked out of the house I didn’t think anything of it. As I drove a few hours and had some alone time I thought more and more. I thought about how dang true it is. You see, happiness IS homemade. When I lost my mom I had just taken my first dental hygiene job and had worked a measley few months when tragedy hit and I was so graciously allowed to take as much time as I needed and had a job to come back to any time. I took my time and eased back in to it, as some days were harder than others. Now when I face hardships or troubles in life I always remind myself it could be worse. Today when I thought about homemade happiness, I thought about the fact that my life could have gone so differently, but I chose happy. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine around here, but we do our best to choose happy, because we know we create our happy. What I’m getting at, if you’ve read this long, is you’re in control. I get asked so many times, especially since having twins) how I do it all, how I’m killin it {I’m not but apparently can fake it well } I don’t do it all, but I do know each day is a blessing. Each day isn’t promised, and each day I want to choose happy when I can. I no longer live for other’s approval or the hopes of being accepted like I used to, even though I still struggle with that, I choose a path that brings more joy to me, my family, or friends. I challenge you to do the same, and let’s spread more happiness, to friends and strangers alike. So the next time someone asks how you’re doing, or compliments you on anything or wants to share their life with you in any way, know how precious time is, share your time with them, and a smile in the least and share some happiness, because after all, you control that, it’s homemade
I chuckled to myself as I peered down the road beyond the haystack for a fourth time to ensure no one was hauling around the corner as they do on our busy road. All four of the kiddos are loaded up in the Kubota & I’m leading my horse down the asphalt for about a quarter mile to get on my way out to the pasture to exercise my horse. Sometimes I feel I’ve lost my damn mind when I get doing things like this
This summer has been one of change, like any season is, but this one in particular has brought a lot of new. Two new babies, and although they have filled our lives, it’s also brought us to a new phase, one where we know there will be no more newborn phases. We’ve soaked in every aspect of summer from late nights to no schedules, too much sugar, pool times, and endless laughs, but it was our last one that was as free as they’ve been before, my oldest starts school next week.
I’ve had a million things “on my plate” between owning my own business that only works when I do, To raising babies, trying to be the best wife I can be, and somehow keep my house semi clean otherwise it’ll drive me bonkers. All of these things are manageable and I know sooo many others that are balancing as much and more, but what I’m getting at is, it would have been fine if I didn’t do some of those things. It would be fine if I didn’t work on seasoning a barrel horse, or go to the water park, or get the workout in. It’d be just fine and plenty of friends, family, & strangers alike would tell me I have “so much going on” that it’s ok to essentially be sub par of where you want to be.
But I did it anyway. I did the extra, and I continue to when I can. You know why? Because I deserve to. I deserve that dang good feeling inside when you’re hot and sweaty from a killer workout, even if I only managed it half-a**, I deserve to be proud of the things I accomplish with work or home, and by golly on a day like today when I CAN and am ABLE to get all four kids fed, managed, and to the arena with me so I can get in a ride for thirty minutes or so, I should do it.
As I rode today though I quickly realized it was so much more than just doing it. The babies slept as I long trotted circles in the perfect sunshine and my older two ran circles around each other, one roping another and playing “steers” with their little imaginations. It’s rare that I’ve had many days like today, like it literally feels like the stars align when my plans work out but as I moved along horse back and listened to lingering giggles from end to end and the occasional question for help with something I learned so much more. No matter what you’re doing, if you’re doubting yourself, do it anyway, question if it’s the right move, do it anyway, wondering if you could do more, do it anyway.
You see, today I didn’t just get to exercise my horse and not have a child touch me for about 30 mins {yes, I love my children but as a twin mom exclusively nursing along with having a 5&3 year old, I LOVE some personal space } but I also hope I set forth lessons my kids will learn and reflect on through experience some day; like don’t ever let the thought of something being difficult deter you.
Of course it would have been easier to chalk it up to too much crazy and not ride and just play in the yard where I can easily keep everyone accounted for, but I’m glad I did it anyway. Instead, I got a little physical activity, the kids got lots & some good ole arena dirt fun, and hopefully more than anything they saw that it isn’t about how hard something might be, but that if you want to do something bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.
It’s a typical Monday, I love Mondays btw, fresh start, new week and way of fresh beginnings. Today in particular it was a pretty typical Monday morning for summer around here with kids sleeping in {well the older ones at least} and then off to an orthodontist appointment for myself with the four kiddos in tow, finished off with a quick stop at the grocery store before heading home. Lets be real, with two carseats and two toddlers there wasn’t going to be a whole lot of grocery shopping going on, just the staples for the remainder of the week before we leave Wednesday on the rodeo trail.
Every time I have gone to the grocery store with my four kids, which isn’t very often thanks to clicklist & my hubby, it’s always an experience. It hasn’t always been that way though, just since I’ve had the twins. We’re also not talking about the experience I think you’re thinking of. Yeah, I may have to say “no, not today” more than I’d like, but for the most part the older two know what we’re there for, what’s on our list, and that they get to help pick fruits and veggies if they’re minding well. Here’s the part that gets to me. The “oh wow, you have your hands full”, “hahah, you know what makes those right?”, “it does get better”, all those comments get me thinking every time, and clearly have me thinking enough 12 hours later today that I’m talking about it here with you. Yes, you’re right, I do have my hands full, but my freaking heart is overflowing. Guess what, you too have your hands full. Why in our society have we created this stigma that just because you have more kids you’re hands are too full or something, or that you’re in a whole new world? Reality is, it’s really not that different. Yes, my time is spent a little more wisely, I sure as heck have less time to myself. Really though, from a different perspective, do you know how many patient’s teeth I cleaned at the dental office for the past 7 or so years, and daily I would hear from anyone such as a middle school pre-teen to a retired professional how “busy or full their schedule was”. Duh people, you ARE going to be busy. Some of us with kids, some with professions, or school, volunteering or housework. It’s inevitable that you’re going to be busy, but what you’re forgetting is that it’s not about how much time we spend doing something, how fast or how much we do, or how “FULL our hands are” it’s about priorities. Yes, my husband and I are very aware of how children are produced, and guess what, not one of them was an accident, yeah the bonus baby with twins was quite the surprise, but we wanted more kids. I don’t have to go in to why or what that decision looked like for us, but I do want to say, it’s my priority right now, to be a Mom and I’m ok with that. Don’t look me in the eye in the grocery store and feel sorry for me because my “hands are full”, I chose this. I’ve tried to become more “educational” in my responses these days versus just feeling dumbfounded, but I don’t know that anyone has really caught on yet.
Here’s where the real truth is though, you’re busy too. Yep, even if you don’t have kids, you’re busy, or at least you use the excuse of that when you don’t want to prioritize. Even if you only have one kid, you’re busy. We should all be busy because we should want to be doing things that fulfill our lives. What we shouldn’t be doing is using our “hands full” and “busy” excuses for not living the way we want to. If you want to do something, find a way, because Lord knows there is a person “busier” and with more opposition than you doing exactly what you’re wishing you were doing. Make time for your friends and family, make time for you and the gym, or cooking, or a trip you’ve wanted to plan forever.
Time doesn’t stop, & it’s one of the only thing money can’t buy, so rather than looking at everything and everyone around with the perspective of how “busy” it all is, find your priorities, and make those things happen. Start replacing busy with productive, start encouraging people to do more, and stop looking moms in the eye in the grocery store saying “wow you have your hands full”, no matter how many kids they have
If you’ve been one that’s ran into me in the grocery store and used the above mentioned words, don’t worry, I’m not offended, and I know you have good intentions. On the other hand though, there is a whole lot of good too! Thank you to the man at the deli counter the other day with three kids next to me, and as the lady at the counter handed me the popcorn chicken and with her own tired eyes said “wow you sure have your hands full” and I quietly responded with a smile “yep, it’s all the same past one”, you agreed with that and the fact we wouldn’t have it any other way. Then today, to the older gentleman that took the time on your way out of the grocery store to stop and chat and kindly ask about the twins as I waited on the other two to come out of the bathroom, THANK YOU for reassuring me that there are people that see it as blessings. Not busy times and chaos or something of the like, but your story of your twin boys and the one that passed away at four months, it tugged at my heart, I could tell 50 years later yours still hurt too, thank you for not being too busy today, for taking time on your way out to say hello, spread some cheer and show some love to those of us bringing up the next generation
I challenge you, in our world of having too much on our plate or being too busy, or tired, stop, take time and re evaluate. Figure out what you WANT to do and find a way to make it happen. Also, take a vow to go the extra mile, call your friend that’s been on your mind, drive the long way home, write a note to someone, brighten their day, don’t get caught up in the “busy” and lose the purpose in it all.
xo The “hands full” mom that should be sleeping, but can’t stop doing all the things
I figure it’s about time I introduce myself around here and get in to the swing of things, because I’ve been craving it !!!!
Most people that get asked to introduce themselves, {including myself} immediately revert to their “roles” in life to describe who they are. I’m going to try real hard here to let you get to know me, the real me beyond “wife/mom/business owner/etc all the “things”” we find ourselves talking about rather than really remembering and appreciating who we are. Maybe think of it like an internet dating site kinda intro, I mean I’ve never had one of those, but I’d hope for someone to want to know these things about me before all the other boring stuff.
So here goes nothing….. My name is obviously Hailey, Hailey Jane to be exact I’m 30 years old and have settled in to life quite well, enjoying so many things I am blessed beyond measure with. I wasn’t always sure it’d work out that way, but it has, even when it’s trying, times are good.
I like to smile, a lot and often find myself smiling at people I don’t know and never will see again, which turns in to meeting them, because I’m social. I enjoy chatting, but also just as greatly enjoy the silence and independence of truly being alone.
I’m not a super funny person, but I can be awkward which sometimes turns in to funny, and I have a killer make you pee your pants laugh/sound like I’m dying gasp when I’m pregnant (which I currently am with twins) and this statement has held true with every pregnancy. Just ask any of my siblings, or my hubby who claims I snore just as bad while prego.
You can usually find me thinking up a new project, running in circles trying to complete everything I want to do, or walking in to a room to entirely forget why I even walked in – >I know I’m not the only one guilty here!
For the most part, I’m a pretty simple gal. I’m honest, loyal through and through, and have any of my best pals back to the day we die. I like to have a good time, and although I may seem like the “life of the party” or at least I used to in my younger days I often find myself being outgoing because I hate when people feel uncomfortable. I’d rather strike up a conversation or go out of my way to have a good time, than no one have a good time. Good reason right?
I have found SO much of me in my adult life, and parts of my {younger} years still shine through, I say that lightly because I’m still young You’ll get to know me and all the caveats as this blog progresses, but me, right now, I’m just living life, fully and to the best ability I can to have a good time and appreciate all the little moments. This took me, a driven, hard working, college girl a long time to figure out and understand, but now as a woman, wife, mother and business owner, it holds more true than anything else. All the small things matter, they just don’t matter all the same
& just for a little fun of the “lighter” me – – > I absolutely LOVE all things red, leopard, lace, and lipstick. They pretty much sum up anything from my closet, to my horse tack, to all the unnecessary splurges I didn’t intend to buy hahahah
I hope you stick around a little longer to see what’s to come. If you have any topics ever that you’re curious of, or feel you can/could relate to, drop it in the comments. Of course, I’d love if you’d continue to join if you wish by subscribing and following along
Have a wonderful evening pals, and until next time, don’t sweat the small stuff.
I have pondered, wondered, thought, re-thought & over-thought not only this blog for a long, long time, but also the first entry, but today, here I am starting somewhere
If you stumbled across here & are following along welcome! What you’ll find here is a little bit of everything. I tend to find comfort, stress relief, and happiness in sharing experiences, struggles, triumphs, life, & just general life talk with those around me.
There have been times in life, where I’d like to say I knew would get better, but at the time I thought my world was crumbling and ending. Some of those times in my pre-teen years (I literally remember pulling out a red spiral bound lined notebook & “starting a book” to other kids about how life can be so rough) I look back and laugh at myself, only thinking now how I really didn’t know what I was in for. That full story is for another day & time.
What I do feel like was lacking so much then, and even now in the world of social media highlight reels, and keeping up with the Joneses is the real, raw side of life & struggles alongside accomplishments & happiness we’re all so eager to share. I too do the same thing, and by no means is anything wrong with that because we don’t by any means need to be airing dirty laundry, but I can’t help but let my mind drift to the girl I was at 13, 14, 15 & even later in life that really just should have ran across something “real” to understand that I wasn’t alone.
I can’t really say what this will come to here, but I can say that I find happiness in writing, in sharing my experiences and talking about things. If me sharing things from my array of life thus far can help just one person have a better day, get a smile on their face, or just the confidence enough to believe in themselves, my purpose of this will be filled.
More than anything, it’s an outlet. It’s a part of me, and what I share will vary. Pretty much though, you’ll find just real talk. I like to think of it as a lifestyle blog. Life, love, friends, family, balance, work from home life, mom life, and all the chaos that comes along with it.
If you’ve read thus far, thank you. If you choose to follow along and stick around, thank you, I hope you enjoy yourself here.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
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