Had Had Sex Together
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Had Had Sex Together
by Gigi Engle Published: Nov 1, 2017
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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"It was such a natural and liberating experience."
Remember your first time having sex? That uncomfortable, strange, confusin g ordeal? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
Despite what we see in the movies, first time romps are rarely the most orgasm-inducing, rocket-blasting sensual experiences of our burgeoning sex lives. The truth is, no one knows what they're doing.
And what about having sex with a woman? When two women have sex, it is as unique, awkward, and liberating as any other kind of sex. Sex between two women is valid, strange, and beautiful. But if you've never done it before, the experience may seem a little daunting. So, if you've been curious about what it's like to get down with another lady, or want to know what to expect when you finally take the plunge, here are six real women's stories on having sex with a woman for the first time.
"I had asked around about sex with women for the first time and heard everything from a casual 'it's hot' to 'it felt like coming home' to 'turned out eating pussy wasn't for me,' so I was very curious how I would react. I didn't really 'react' one way or another, it just felt very natural and I absolutely liked it. I indeed was struck by the softness of two female bodies against one another and how fulfilling sex can be without a penis in sight, but it was really just a great date followed by great sex. It absolutely confirmed that I was bi/queer but more than anything it just reminded me that as a bi person people are people, and good sex, in general, involves emotional (even casual sex !) and physical intimacy. Tuning into another person's body and mind doesn't change based on the body or genitalia of the person you're sleeping with. 13/10 would do again and did do again." — Sophie, 29
"One weekend party night, a friend from high school came up to visit me in my college town. We went out to a house party and started dancing together. When we got back to my place to crash, I invited her to sleep in my bed. Then I asked if I could kiss her.
"My heart was stuck in my throat at the idea that I could totally be reading her moves on me wrong and she might say no and reject me, but instead she cuddled up to me and gave me a huge kiss. We started making out and I said to her, 'I've never gone down on a girl and I really want to. Do you want to try?' She was just as interested. I was so nervous! I didn't know what I was doing, so I let my instincts take over. It was such a natural and liberating experience. It was also one of the few times I felt dominate and in control with a sexual partner.
"The next morning was a little awkward. Neither of us were identifying as bisexuals, but we also didn't chalk our experience up to being just a drunken mistake. We never had sex again after that, but it was what started my journey on identifying as bisexual and seeking out female sexual partners." — Kenna, 30
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"Sex with a woman for the first time gave me the courage to reclaim penetration. For as long as I could remember, penetration actually terrified me, and given my heteronormative definition of sex , I wrongly believed I could never have 'real sex' because of it. And, also wrongly, I believed that as a 'real lesbian' I couldn't enjoy or take part in penetration. But my first partner eased me into the feeling. And as I was eased in, it's like the d*mn floodgates opened and I realized penetration isn't just a dick's power. I feel more confident and excited to experiment with strap-ons and internal vibrators , not just on my future (consenting) partners but for use by them on me too!" — Madeline*, 26
Learn 14 mind-blowing facts that will completely change the way you think about orgasms.
"The first time I had sex with a woman I was 15, maybe 16, and it happened totally by accident. I could definitely tell that we were attracted to each other and I was always nervous around her. We weren't close friends, mainly because I was a blithering idiot around her, because sexual attraction does that to people, you know? I knew I was gay but wasn't out, and I also intrinsically knew this girl was gay too. I think that's why we were so shy around each other.
"One night we were hanging out in a big group until it was just the two of us. We crawled up into her bunk bed (at camp) and at some point, she put her arm around me. The next thing I knew we were kissing and the next thing I knew she was going down on me! I was nervous as hell once we started kissing, but after a few seconds, it felt so right, that I was totally swept up in the moment! And then I started going down on her, and even though I had never done it before, it just felt really natural. Afterward, however, we were both awkward. I mean how could we be normal around each other after we had experienced this crazy-intense sexual experience? We avoided each other. For a year." — Zara, 31
"I'd been dreaming about having sex with women. I literally used to Google: 'How to have sex with a woman if you are a woman.' When the time finally came when I'd be able to have sex with a woman, I kind of chickened out. I didn't let her go down on me and I didn't go down on her . I had no idea what I was doing. There was a lot of hand-stuff and messy-kissing all over the place. I didn't have an orgasm and I don't think she did either.
"It was still radical, though, because I was this closet-case high schooler with a paralyzing crush on my best friend and I had finally done something about it. After that, I started kissing more and more girls until the opportunity came again. The second time was definitely better.
Having sex with a woman for the first time (especially, I think, if you're a young gay like I was) can be really daunting. I worried about 'doing it right' until I learned how to communicate with my partners." — Brit, 25
"The first time I slept with a woman, I also slept with her husband. It was with my best friend’s sister. She’s been with her husband for over a decade, and he is the most painfully sexy man on the planet. One night, my friend’s sister and her husband propositioned me for a threesome . The three of us spent two steamy days rolling around together. My best friend still has no idea." — Angela*, 29
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in NYC. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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Published on February 21, 2020 04:40 PM
PEOPLE is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.
Diane J. Cho was the Features Editor of PEOPLE Digital from 2019 to 2022. She worked at the brand for nearly four years covering news, features, human interest, evergreen, holiday gift guides and more. She launched the How I Parent and What It's Really Like to Be …. digital series and has interviewed several celebrities and influential leaders within the entertainment industry. Prior to joining PEOPLE, Diane worked at Bustle, VH1 and Complex. She received her bachelor's degree in Journalism from Rutgers University and her master's degree from Columbia Journalism School.
The legendary mustachioed rocker, who is one half of the hit-making yacht rock duo Hall & Oates, opened up about his sexual past in a recent interview, admitting that he's lost track of how many women he slept with back during the height of the duo's success.
"I'm sure it was thousands," Oates, 71, told the New York Post 's Page Six. "I've lost track."
"If you didn't live through the '70s and '80s, if you weren't a rockstar during that time, there's no way you can comprehend what it was like," Oates added of the culture at the time. "There were no cell phones and people taking pictures of everything you did. There was no social media."
As scandalous as it sounds, the " Maneater " singer said that his romantic rendezvous were "much more innocent" at the time.
"I used to meet girls in various towns and sort of have a relationship," said Oates, who has been married to his second wife since 1994. "I might see them and then see them six months later."
In PEOPLE's exclusive first look at the August issue of Cosmopolitan , the five-time Grammy-winning singer revealed that while she has had some highly publicized romances throughout the years, she's never been one to play the field.
"I haven't had that many, but there has been a variety pack," Carey told Cosmopolitan.
"I've only been with five people in my life, so I'm kind of a prude, honestly, compared to most others in the field," she added.
The star wed her first husband, Sony exec Tommy Mottola, in 1993, when she was a newcomer in the industry. Over a decade later, she tied the knot for a second time with Nick Cannon, with whom she shares twins Moroccan and Monroe.
Carey is currently in a relationship with backup dancer and choreographer Bryan Tananka , whom she first began dating shortly after her split from Australian billionaire James Packer.
In his new memoir, Darkness to Light — exclusively excerpted in PEOPLE - the NBA champion writes, "I have been obsessed with sex for as long as I can remember."
The 39-year-old also revealed in his book that he had sex with more than 2,000 women.
"There were too many strippers to count," he writes. "It wasn't a big deal, but often I would pay them. I never thought less of them."
Odom also wrote about cheating on then-wife Khloé Kardashian throughout their marriage; she eventually discovered the infidelities.
"I was shocked and embarrassed," he told PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. "I wanted to take it back, but you can't. [I] wanted to hide it. But that sick sin was hard for me to hide … I had a problem."
The Kiss frontman had one task to complete before his then-girlfriend (now wife) Shannon Tweed would agree to marry him: The former Playboy model demanded that Simmons burn all of the photos of women he had slept with, which took days because Simmons has claimed to have slept with almost 5,000.
"I didn't do drugs in the crazy times but I did do sex," Simmons told The Sun in 2016. "Did I sleep with 4,800 women? So they tell me. I did have the Polaroids to prove it, oh yes."
The rocker revealed that most of them were burned.
"Shannon and I got together with them and we had a ritual," he added.
While appearing on the Boomer and Gio radio talk show, Guadagnino was asked about how many women he has hooked up with, in part due to his time on Jersey Shore and his new dating competition show Double Shot at Love with DJ Pauly D & Vinny .
Though Guadagnino was unable to confirm the exact number, he was confident that it was more than 100, noting that the total was probably over 500 and could be more than 1,000.
"I feel disgusting right now," he joked to the hosts . "It's been 10 years, I've had a good time!"
In his 1991 book A View from Above , the NBA Hall of Famer claimed to have slept with 20,000 different women over the course of his life.
"Yes, that's correct, 20,000 different ladies," he wrote. "At my age, that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was 15 years old."
Years later, filmmaker Quentin Tarantino admitted his own mother was one of them. "My mom dated Wilt Chamberlain," the filmmaker told NPR's Fresh Air host Terry Gross during his press tour for Django Unchained . "She's one of the thousand."
The 70-year-old said he cringes to think that his grandchildren will know that he slept with roughly 10,000 women over the years — an admission he initially made to ESPN's 30 for 30 in a special that first aired in November 2017.
Although Flair admits that he loves women, he is finally a one-woman guy.
"I only love one now. I have never done anything since I met Wendy," Flair said, referring to his current wife Wendy Barlow.
The former Two and a Half Men star claims he slept with at least 5,000 women, according to the October 2000 issue of Maxim , as reported by the New York Post .
Sheen added a few more tidbits about his sex life in the interview, including the fact that he enjoys threesomes and he was supposedly so good in bed that his partners would call him "The Machine."
Christopher Andersen, author of the rock star's biography Mick , told Extra that, "By one estimate, Mick Jagger has slept with 4,000 women over the course of his life."
"In retrospect I think that may be kind of a low figure," he added.
He also disclosed that Jagger and David Bowie were a sort of "sexual tag team" and would go to gay clubs together.
"Mick himself said at one point, 'Everyone knows that everyone is basically bisexual,'" Andersen said, after revealing a few of Jagger's partners, who allegedly include Farrah Fawcett and Andy Warhol.
The actor and ex-husband of Katy Perry is now married to Laura Gallacher, but at one point had claimed he was "up there" at the 1,000 lovers mark, according to Mirror .
In 2017, Brand released Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions , a book on recovering from all types of addiction. In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Brand said the book presented his version of the 12 steps for recovery used in programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Throughout the chapters, Brand — who has been drug and alcohol free for more than 14 years — also revealed various childhood traumas that were sources of his discontent: abuse (by an unnamed adult), a mother stricken with cancer and a distant father (his parents divorced when he was a baby and he was raised by his mom).
While he's now able to manage his addictions (to drugs, porn, alcohol, food, and sex), it was a long process to unearth the true source of his pain.
The former basketball star told the Star Tribune in 2010 that he's had sex with 2,000 women and of that number, "probably 500" were "golddiggers or worse."
The late founder and editor-in-chief of Playboy magazine was stumped when asked how many women he had slept with during an April 2013 interview with Esquire .
"How could I possibly know?" he said. "Over a thousand, I'm sure. There were chunks of my life when I was married, and when I was married I never cheated. But I made up for it when I wasn't married. You have to keep your hand in."
In the Saved by the Bell actor's 2009 memoir Behind the Bell , Diamond wrote he had sex with more than 2,000 women, including an NBC executive with whom he had a seven-month fling when he was just 15.
The singer claimed to have slept with up to 250 women a year during the height of his fame, according to the Mirror . But according to the singer, there was only one love of his life: his wife Melinda Rose Woodward, who died from cancer at 75 in 2016.
The two childhood sweethearts got married in 1957, when they were both 16. However, Jones allegedly had numerous affairs, including one with model Katherine Berkery, which resulted in the birth of a child.
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