Guys Not To Date

Guys Not To Date
Part of HuffPost Women. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
While many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. It is important to recognize these warning signs before it's too late.
Online Dating And Relationship Expert
Mar 2, 2013, 10:37 AM EST | Updated Apr 27, 2013
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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Online Dating And Relationship Expert
He's cute, fun, smart and you can't stop thinking about him. You're already three steps ahead of the game, mentally planning weddings, children and that giant house with the white picket fence. Finally, after all these years, the perfect relationship has finally been found. Happily ever after sure feels good, huh? Not so fast. While many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. It is important to recognize these warning signs before it's too late. The alternative is waking up one day down the road divorced with five kids and fifty thousand dollars in debt, watching re-runs of "Honey Boo Boo" on Nick at Nite. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating. But the truth is, as much as we often ignore the warning signs of a potentially bad relationship early on in the dating process, these issues don't go away. Most behaviors only grow worse over time. So, instead of jumping into that long-term relationship with a man you suspect may be wrong for you, let's take a look at fifteen types of guys to avoid getting into long-term relationships with in the first place. 1. The set-in-his-ways guy. These men will only become more rigid over time. Dating someone who refuses to do anything new makes for a long-term relationship that is both boring and one-sided. Assuming that he will eventually change and open up to your hobbies is misguided. This will likely never happen. 2. The pick-up-after-me guy. You are his partner, not his maid. Men who expect you to clean up their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children on a consistent basis need a really check, and will likely treat you as if you are their mother for the rest of their lives. 3. The always-looking-for-a-deal guy. Be wary of men who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. While everyone likes a good deal, real men will not make this known when courting a woman. These are signs that he will likely be very cheap throughout the duration of the relationship. 4. The I-need-to-watch-sports-all-the-time guy. There's nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and watching sports. Many guys do. But this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. There is a difference between loving sports and having a childish obsession with them. Choose a man who knows the difference. 5. The what's-for-dinner guy. Expecting a home cooked meal every single night makes for a relationship that will likely feel unbalanced in the long run. Again, you are not his maid. There should be contributions from both parties, even if that contribution isn't always evenly divided. It's the effort that counts. 6. The I-get-increasingly-less-romantic-with-each-date guy. Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in. While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once. These changes in effort can be very foretelling of how he will be a year or two down the road. 7. The I-had-sex-and-now-I-don't-have-to-try-anymore guy. Always play close attention to how a guy's behavior changes once he has had sex with you for the first time. If he truly cares about you, his good behaviors will grow stronger. Those who back down and start getting lazier after having sex for the first time were probably only after one thing to begin with. 8. The I-will-let-you-pay-for-some-of-my-bills guy. Anyone, regardless of gender, who asks for help paying bills early on in a relationship should raise red flags. Don't let yourself be used. By paying for him early on, you are setting the tone that it will be this way for your entire future. 9. The lack-of-ambition guy. Be very wary of men who talk up a big game of what they plan on doing with their lives. Some men with no ambition whatsoever like to talk up a good game, but at the end of the day, they are just saying what they know women want to hear. There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to grow into a better person, just make sure that he's genuine. 10. The I'm-in-my-late-twenties-or-older-and-still-live-with-my-mother guy. In my book, living at home up until age 25 is acceptable, provided the guy was going through schooling or saving up money. But anyone who has been working for a couple of years and still lives with his mother past this age is never going to grow up. Period. 11. The "sorry, I'm not a big phone person," guy. Some men may not like being tied down to a phone, but responding to your text messages or phone calls shouldn't be annoying; it's common courtesy and respect. This is a warning sign of future selfish behavior. 12. The over-controlling guy. The opposite of number eleven, the over-controlling guy must know where "his woman" his every second of the day and approve of who she is hanging out with. Run from this type of man immediately. 13. The I-don't-know-what-I'm-looking-for guy. One day, he wants a relationship. The next day, he wants kids. Two months later, he's not sure about either. Often times when this line is pulled, its code for "I'm looking for a marriage and kids, just not with you." Steer clear. 14. The let's-just-stay-in guy. If you like being indoors more than being outdoors, this may be a good match for you. But men who are constantly suggesting that they want to just stay in and watch a movie early on in the dating game are likely the lazy type, or only out for sex. This will only get worse over time.
15. The I-don't-like-your-friends guy. No man is more important than your friends. If he doesn't like them and refuses to hang out with them, leave immediately.
For more free tips from Joshua Pompey, including how to write successful emails online, click here now . Or click here to learn the best methods for writing the perfect online dating profiles .
Online Dating And Relationship Expert

Part of HuffPost Style & Beauty. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Professional Matchmaker; President of SamanthasTable.com; Founder of iPhone dating app, The Dating Lounge; Author, 'Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker'
Dec 21, 2015, 03:24 PM EST | Updated Dec 6, 2017
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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Professional Matchmaker; President of SamanthasTable.com; Founder of iPhone dating app, The Dating Lounge; Author, 'Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker'
As a Professional Matchmaker and founder of The Dating Lounge app, I am constantly being asked if there are certain types of men that a woman simply should not date. And the answer is, yes there are "do not date" men, especially if you truly want to get married and not waste time on "maybes." Many women will rationalize that their guy isn't one of the do not date guys because they like him and they want him to buck the trend. And of course, it's possible that a particular guy is actually a good guy even if he exhibits some of these characteristics. However, most of the time, "if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it's usually a duck!"
Take a look at this list and r eally ask yourself if your guy is on it. And if he is, what do you want to do about it?
Mr. Serial Monogamist - This guy goes from relationship to relationship but never winds up marrying anyone. He "seems" committed and ready to go the distance, but he never does. My biggest concern with this guy is what will make you be the woman who will get him to actually commit when he never has with any of the others?
Mr. Comes On Too Fast Too Quickly - This guy met you yesterday and talks about moving in together today. You had your second date with him on Tuesday and on Wednesday, he is inviting you to family dinner. Of course, his interest feels wonderful, after all, you are fabulous . But, let's call a spade a spade, he doesn't even know you yet, so how can he actually know how fab you really are? Be wary.
Mr. Commitmentphobe - This guy is just scared of commitment period. He might have abandonment issues which have made him scared to commit to anyone in fear they will leave him. He will usually admit to you upfront that he has commitment issues but he has worked on them and is "certain" he is ready to commit this time around. My concern with him is that 9 times out of 10, he is just a time suck of your precious time when you could be finding another guy.
Mr. Bobber and Weaver - This guy is shady . He never answers your questions directly. His work situation is shady, his divorce situation shady, his apartment situation shady. He just bobs and weaves through answers. This guy is a charlatan. Move on.
Mr. Excuse- This is the guy who breaks plans, behaves inappropriately and does things to offend you and then always has an excuse as to why he did it. Fine, give him a hall pass , once or twice but after awhile, you need to face facts. The facts are that his guy is an adult and he knows it's wrong to hit on your best friend, get drunk in front of your boss or tell you that you need to lose weight when you are a size 6. Next! Mr. Showers You With Presents - This guy is swarmy. Yes, gifts are nice, we all like them. However, what are these gifts replacing or covering up? Are they buying your forgiveness gifts? Are they keeping you hooked a little longer even though he hasn't proposed yet gifts? Or are you one of the lucky ones who found a guy who is good to you and also gives gifts? Just don't be lured in by Chanel Bags and trips to Paris on a whim if that is all that is coming your way.
Mr. Been Around The Block - This guy has dated everyone you know and their mother, literally . Do you really want to date everyone's used laundry ? And why does he play the field so much? Is he insecure? Does he not want a real relationship? Does he just like adding notches to his proverbial belt? I don't know the answers to these questions but if I were you , I wouldn't want to stick around to find out.
Mr. Compares You To His Exes - This guy is not over his ex. If he is comparing you to her all the time, then he still wants her . He may say he is over her, but he's not. Don't rationalize that all men compare their present gals to their ex's because they do NOT. They might do it occasionally in their heads but they certainly don't do it out loud and they certainly don't do it all the time. Ask yourself- Do you feel like you will be his future or will "she" be coming back?
Mr. Controlfreak - This guy has mommy issues and that makes him want to control everything, including your life. You are an adult, don't you want to make your own decisions? Do you honestly want someone to tell you what to wear, what to eat, where you can go and who you can spend time with? I doubt it. Do you constantly want to be criticized? This guy has a problem with everything and no matter what you do, it will never be good enough for him. Run!
Mr. Alcoholic - This guy is a drunk. He might tell you that he is a "social drinker" but you know the difference. He might say everyone drinks as much as he does. No. They. Do. Not. And when this guy gets drunk, which is often, he gets mean and nasty. He will make you cry and feel like crap, a lot. He is not a good look for you.
Do you have other Do not date guys you want to add to my list?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert as well as the founder of The Dating Lounge , the exclusive invitation-only iPhone dating app for upscale people looking for real relationships. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. For more information, go to http://www.samanthadaniels.info Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: MatchmakerSD
Professional Matchmaker; President of SamanthasTable.com; Founder of iPhone dating app, The Dating Lounge; Author, 'Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker'

The 7 Types of Men You Should Think Twice Before Dating
We all want to find a great partner, so why do so many of us end up dating not-so-good ones along the way? No need to blame yourself: Hindsight may be 20/20, but spotting someone with baggage and issues isn't always easy in the moment. And it's especially not easy when he's pulling out all of his charms over a glass (or several glasses) of wine at a swanky local bar. We talked to family therapist Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, and Carlen Costa, Ph.D, a sexologist and therapist in Toronto, Canada, to find out which guys you should strongly consider ruling out from the get go. Here are the seven types to watch for: Just Out of a Relationship Guy He's on the market again, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's ready—especially if he's the one who's been dumped. "Usually when people jump into the next relationship, they haven't done the work to grow themselves from that space, [or] to ready themselves for the next relationship," says Pharaon. "You want to make sure that person has some time in between the previous relationship to actually be a human." Gets Really Angry Really Quickly Guy When a guy's reactions are consistently overboard
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We all want to find a great partner, so why do so many of us end up dating not-so-good ones along the way? No need to blame yourself: Hindsight may be 20/20, but spotting someone with baggage and issues isn't always easy in the moment. And it's especially not easy when he's pulling out all of his charms over a glass (or several glasses) of wine at a swanky local bar. We talked to family therapist Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, and Carlen Costa, Ph.D, a sexologist and therapist in Toronto, Canada, to find out which guys you should strongly consider ruling out from the get go. Here are the seven types to watch for:
He's on the market again, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's ready—especially if he's the one who's been dumped. "Usually when people jump into the next relationship, they haven't done the work to grow themselves from that space, [or] to ready themselves for the next relationship," says Pharaon. "You want to make sure that person has some time in between the previous relationship to actually be a human."
Gets Really Angry Really Quickly Guy
When a guy's reactions are consistently overboard for what's appropriate, it's a big red flag. "I think most of us have an idea of what would be an appropriate response to something and of course we all get angry from time to time, but people who get super angry, you want to stay away from that," Pharaon says. Does he snap at a waiter who gets his order wrong? Talk down to his coworkers? Ultimately, you want someone who is responsive, not reactive; someone who can understand where their feelings are coming from and act accordingly.
It's great to be ambitious, but when your only identity is tied to your job or how much money you make, that's a problem. "We need people to have different parts to them and to see that they honor and make time for those different parts," Pharaon says. Maybe he's a part of a pickup sports team, or he goes to see a lot of live music: No matter what it is, he should have a life outside of his job—if he has balance, it's a good sign that he has his priorities in check and can make space for you in his life too.
What are you looking for in a relationship? If you're keeping company with someone who doesn't want the same things, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. It's OK to ask someone what type of relationship they're looking for, says Pharaon. For example, you can ask, "Do you want marriage and kids someday?" to gauge his feelings on both subjects. "Any man who's kind of out of alignment or has different intentions is someone you want to stay away from," she says.
"This is the guy who doesn't want to improve his life. He's not very motivated, he's not very accountable for his actions, he's not very accountable to anything or to anyone, especially you, and that's how it would affect you," Costa says. He gets lazy about himself, and will thereby get lazy about you. Pharaon agrees: "For men, their purpose in life is something that's critical to their overall well-being. So if they can't trust in their purpose, then they can't show up for a relationship the best that they can."
"There's nothing wrong with loving your family," Costa says, but a guy who doesn't lead an independent life from them—financially, emotionally, and physicallywill not be likely to have a healthy relationship. "You want to know that the two of you are the team and that his loyalty is with you as opposed to going to his family," Pharaon says. Instead of feeling like his girlfriend and priority number one, you'll often end up playing the role of "mother, maid, and lover," Costa warns.
It's often difficult to spot a narcissist . This is because when they're showering you with compliments and gifts when you start dating, it's real
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