Guys Do Porn

Guys Do Porn
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Clint Carter
Clint Carter is a reporter and editor with a magazine journalism degree from the University of Missouri.

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The Women's Health Guy Next Door explains the male obsession with X-rated clips.
Channel 53. That was where I found the porn when I was a kid. It was broadcast to my family's TV as a blur of fuzz and smeared color, but if you watched long enough—and trust me, I tested it—you'd eventually see a flash of flesh. If you were lucky, you saw a boob, or something even more explicit.
Hey, I was a boy, and I had a profound curiosity for what went on beneath blouses and skirts with limited ways to discover it. But that brings us to the question at hand: Why would I—or any guy, for that matter—remain interested in porn past his teens? Isn't real sex better? Isn't watching porn a little like reading Twilight fan fiction when you could be reading the actual book? Yeah, sure, the real thing is better. But the porn industry is thriving, so clearly people still value fantasy. Here's a little glimpse at why so many men are fascinated with porn:
It's safer than sex with strangers. This one only applies to single guys (hopefully), but it still holds true. Casual hookups can be complicated—for men and women—between the fear of STDs, hurt feelings, and awkward morning-after conversation. So if you're looking for sexual novelty, porn is a pretty safe alternative. Masturbating to porn is simple: You just look up your fantasy and do what comes natural. There's no performance anxiety, no fear of rejection, and no worries about who's going to call whom the next day.
We're aroused by visual stimulation. There are some things men have a hard time understanding about women—like how you're always 10 degrees colder than we are. And similarly, this may be a thing that you find perplexing about men: We like to watch. I mean, we really like to watch. And not just porn—we like to watch during sex, too. That's half the reason we like changing positions: to take in the different views. And sometimes, in the moment, we wonder what our real-world sexcapade looks like from a third-person angle. With porn, our imagination can take a break. The cameraman does the work. (Fun fact: Women are aroused by visual stimulation , too.)
It allows us to live vicariously. Sex on a beach in the middle of the winter? Sure! Sex on the boss' desk, with no risk of being fired? Amen to that! Sex in a futuristic space shuttle, with four super-hot alien chicks? Um... it's getting a little odd, but let's give it shot! Regardless of the scenario, most of the guys in porn seem to know exactly what they're doing. We might not want to be like them in daily life, but still, we're pretty impressed. And occasionally, we like to zone out and pretend that's us getting it on in the middle of a restaurant.
It lets us be selfish. We want to make you happy. The fact is, we love when you orgasm almost as much as we love it when we do. And obviously, that means we have to be totally engaged in the act—reading your body language, making sure not to peak too early, holding in any non-sexy bodily functions. Porn is a guilty pleasure that's as brainless as watching a sitcom (but, you know, with nudity). It's no surprise that both genders sometimes enjoy masturbation even more than sex , and porn just adds a little novelty and entertainment to the picture (even when it's wildly unrealistic). Obviously, we'd never want to be selfish in bed with you, so this gives us a free pass to just take and take without hurting our sexual reputation—or, more importantly, your opinion of us.
We like to strategize. You know what winning basketball teams do? They analyze game footage to gain valuable intel that they can't spot when adrenaline is running high. Sometimes they watch video of their own games, and sometimes they watch video of other teams. It helps them decide which plays they should be running more often and which tend to go nowhere. See where I'm going with this one? It's not like we're using porn as a template and copying everything they do, but it can definitely clue us in to positions we want to try or fantasies we want to share with you.
As a parting thought, let me emphasize that men (at least, most of us) see porn as a supplement to sex. It's not a replacement. Consider the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey . It's kinky sexual escapism, and it sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. But chances are it didn't become a stand-in for sex with your partner. The point is, ideas that start as fantasy can easily translate into their own storyline, and that storyline might well play out in your real-life bedroom. So if you're cool with it, most of us are totally down to watch porn with you. Because the more open we are about our fantasies, the better our sex lives will be.

Medically Reviewed by Marina Katz, MD on September 05, 2011
As it turns out, men are pretty much hard-wired to like watching -- or reading about -- other people having sex. Here's why they do it -- and why it's probably ok.
Most nights, after his wife, Kate, had gone to bed, Tom surfed the Internet for porn. Kate learned about this during their second session of couples therapy. Despite Tom's claims that his nocturnal habit had nothing to do with their love life, she worried he preferred porn to having sex with her.
That's a common reaction. "Often, one partner has a porn interest, and the other thinks that's a problem," says Russell Stambaugh, PhD, an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based psychologist and sex therapist. "It rarely is. The best studies suggest that only about 5% of porn users have a problem that interferes with their daily life."
That's good news, because a lot of people look at porn. According to a survey by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 26% of male Internet users visited adult websites (only 3% of women went to these sites). In 2006, the porn industry raked in nearly 13 billion dollars.
For most women, there's no need to worry. Whatever may be drawing a man to porn, it's seldom a reflection on their partner, says sex therapist Lonnie Barbach, PhD, in practice in San Francisco. "Some women feel threatened because they don't think they're as sexy as a porn star," she says. "But it's not about what he's not getting at home. It's the novelty. It's a turn-on."
Still, the question remains: Why do so many men like looking at pictures of naked people? That's not an easy question to answer. Porn-induced arousal has been linked to many parts of the brain . One recent theory holds that mirror neurons, brain cells that fire when an action is performed as well as when it's observed, play an important role in male arousal. But knowing what's fired up by porn doesn't tell us why our brains get turned on.
Stambaugh points to evolution. Men's brains, he says, are hard-wired for easy arousal, so that men are ready for sex whenever opportunity knocks -- a propagation-of-the-species thing. With online porn so readily at hand, vicarious opportunities -- cue the mirror neurons -- are ever present.
Once Kate realized that porn was not her replacement and Tom felt less ashamed about his habit, the couple talked more easily about their sex life. And that led to sexy outfits and a little experimentation in the bedroom. The porn was never the problem, Stambaugh says. "More often, the problem is how you talk and how you reveal yourself to each other."
Thinking you might be interested in seeing what porn is like? Follow these guidelines to make it a positive part of your relationship.
Ladies' choice. Couples who want to try viewing porn together face a huge variety of choices. Men are easy to please, so it's best to find out what their partner likes. If they like it, it's probably good enough for them.
Safety first. Unsafe sex is common in porn. It shouldn't be in your bedroom.
Time and money. If you're spending too much of either on porn, it often reflects a larger problem, like marital difficulties or a job loss.
SOURCES:
Russell Stambaugh, PhD, psychologist and sex therapist, Ann Arbor, Mich.
Doran, K., "Economics of Pornography," The Witherspoon Institute, 2008.
Johnston, DK. "Indications of a Slowdown in Sex Entertainment Trade," New York Times , Jan. 4, 2007.
Lonnie Barbach, PhD, psychologist and sex therapist, San Francisco; faculty member, University of California Medical School in San Francisco.
Mouras, H., Stoléru , S. et al. Neuroimage , June 6, 2008: 18598769 .
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Is it a mockery to have straight men doing gay porn? Or is it an example of how far acceptance and visibility for LGBTQ people have come?
Director, Writer, and asker of why and how?
Aug 26, 2016, 06:45 PM EDT | Updated Dec 6, 2017
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Director, Writer, and asker of why and how?
August 30th, 2016 - I'm a Porn Star: Gay4Pay will launch worldwide on August 30th, 2016 on Vimeo , Amazon , Google Play, Dish and Shaw video on demand services.
Curiously there are a disproportionate percentage of men working in gay porn who identify as straight. Why would a straight man do gay porn?
I'm a filmmaker. My job is to provoke you to think and hopefully start a conversation after watching my work. In my opinion, it's not my responsibility to tell you what your opinion should be.
Instead of emulating Sally Field ("You like me. You really like me!") I'd rather the subjects of my films make you uncomfortable. Love them, hate them - doesn't matter to me. Just consider them.
As wise old Rumi said, "Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there."
I was asked by a TV network to make a documentary about straight men working in gay porn. There are reams of digital 0 and 1s filling cyber space with people arguing, guessing, colluding, and fantasizing about what the real sexuality of these men are. There is bound to be a multitude of comments riding this thought train below my post.
That doesn't actually interest me and I'll be blunt here and suggest it shouldn't intrigue you either. That conversation is about putting a label on a person. It's our responsibility as a society to stop reducing each other to labels and they are many - fat, slut, white, black, poor, privileged, straight, queer - you get the point.
I hope I can poke your curiosity beyond firing up your labeling machine and to an arena that considers broader questions like...
What does it say about us, the viewer that so much of gay porn is dominated by images of straight men? Are there shades of internalized homophobia emerging?
Why are so many young people considering porn as part of their career or financial paths?
What are the ramifications of straight producers, directors and performers making gay porn?
Does this entertainment accurately reflect our bedrooms? Does it need to?
Is it a mockery to have straight men doing gay porn? Or is it an example of how far acceptance and visibility for LGBTQ people have come?
Is this the entertainment the gay porn audience wants or is it simply what's being offered?
To answer these questions the documentary interviews men from some of the most popular and prolific studios that feature straight men. Gay performers also add their perspective about working with straight guys.
Please watch the documentary, consider these questions and then comment. Let's start a conversation. Let the 0 and 1s fly!
I'm a Porn Star: Gay4Pay is produced and distributed by Border2Border Entertainment and will launch worldwide on August 30th, 2016 on Vimeo , Amazon , Google Play, Dish and Shaw video on demand services.
Director, Writer, and asker of why and how?

Copyright © 2022 by Romantific. All Rights Reserved.
You may be wondering, Why do men watch porn? Are they addicted to porn stars or just want to watch internet porn because they think it’s pretty normal? How do relationships survive the negative effects that come with porn, and what are those negative effects? Has porn use affected your sexual relationship?
I know my ex-husband was always on the internet watching porn, and I never understood why. I mean, I was his wife. Why aren’t wives enough for men? I think the act of watching porn is not wrong, but if you keep it a secret from your wife, you know that you are not doing something right in your marriage. Porn watching can negatively affect your marriage .
If your sexual partner is watching porn all of the time, you may question your sexual performance in the bedroom. Why are sexual fantasies better than real-world sex? When men watch porn, it can cause them to have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like. In real life, is porn watching healthy?
I believe it can be, but with married men, it often causes their partners anxiety because they are looking at women half their age, forgetting what their age is in reality. Let’s look at whether porn watching is healthy or not!
Some men may just want to learn something new and exciting. It may have nothing to do with you; instead, they are trying to improve the sex life the two of you share!
Like wrestling, porn often tells a silly little story that men find entertaining. He may want to watch the dumb storylines because they are dumb. It’s entertaining to see what other people think is entertaining in this world!
Not all men are this way, but some are!
If your man does not think you are enough in the bedroom, he may be looking elsewhere for fulfillment. You may need to evaluate things to determine what is wrong before you do anything else.
Some guys just want to get off faster, and porn helps with that. It may make you feel offended, but it really has nothing to do with you. It’s a physical thing.
Many men are just curious by nature and want to know how other people have sex. What moves do they have? What moves could I adopt in the bedroom? Should I ask my girl if we could try this? Those are just a few of the questions that your man may be thinking.
By watching other men have sex, they learn a thing or two about their bodies.
If you think your sex drives are out of whack, you may need to see a doctor!
If your man knows that this ticks you off, he could be doing it because of that very reason. Some guys just want to heat things up and make you mad because they love the drama that fighting brings to a relationship.
If they’ve caught you doing it, it could be a thing of revenge!
It is true that some men watch porn because they are bored and want to watch something entertaining. Porn stories are often silly in nature but entertaining enough to keep a guy’s attention.
Some men like to be challenged when it comes to sex.
They may believe porn is like a unicorn – it’s something magical that can teach them new things. They think there are secrets that they just don’t know but want to learn. If you confront your man for watching some porn , he may say that he is doing research on your love life. You’ll have to think of how you want to respond to this if he says it.
Since many women find porn to be taboo, many men just want to do it because it is off-limits!
Many men know that watching a little porn is off-limits, according to their women. They don’t like being controlled or told what they can or cannot do. They’d rather sneak around behind your back than be controlled by you.
Men are curious creatures by nature and just want to know what others are like.
If you are married and your man is watching porn in secret, you may feel a bit betrayed. However, did you ever think of acting out his sexual fantasy? What if you enjoy acting out his favorite sexual fantasy? Did you ever think that watching pornography could be healthy and give you pleasure? You might find that if you join in, you will have more intimacy with your man.
Understanding why your man is looking at pornography can help your relationship. It might actually be healthy for you to watch porn together. After all, some men watch porn for pleasure or because they are not getting enough sexual intimacy at home with their sexual partners. Some relationships grow because of porn. It may be hard to believe, but it’s true!
A man often watches porn because he feels empty in his current sex life. However, according to Psychology Today , some men watch porn, and it has nothing to do with how they feel about sex or women. They just want something to aid them during masturbation. The article explains that many men watch porn because they feel inadequate in their current sex life.
So, what’s a girl to do if she catches her man watching porn?
If your man watches porn, you may feel betrayed and upset. You may question your own sexuality! Try to remember that most fights have two people involved! We all play our parts in relationships. One-sided relationships just don’t work. You must communicate and listen to the needs of your partner. Of course, first, you need to discover them.
Learn your partner’s love language to determine how to best communicate with him. The love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time together, and acts of service. Once you learn how to communicate with your partner, you’ll know how to best approach the subject of pornography. Figure out how he listens best.
Don’t just fly off the handle mad because he will not listen to you. You need to express your concerns in a real way and let him know that you want to understand his need
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