Guys Asshole
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Guys Asshole
February 22, 2014
Humanitarian2012
February 22, 2014
Humanitarian2012
February 24, 2014
Humanitarian2012
February 22, 2014
Humanitarian2012
February 22, 2014
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Naturally Muscular
February 18, 2014
Humanitarian2012
February 18, 2014
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The_Sensible_One
August 16, 2017
Hugh Jubaals MacLaydee-Fokker
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David is a strength coach and bestselling Men's Health author. You can follow him at HowToBeast.com .
In the manosphere, there are typically two defined sects of men: white knights and red-pillers.
While this division has value, I find there to be three types of men: the nice guy, the asshole, and the alpha male. And these archetypes resemble the above to a certain extent. The white knight matches up with the nice guy, for example.
However, the red-piller can be broken down into the alpha and the asshole. They both have a more realistic view of the world than the white knight. And they both will be more successful as a result. But they aren’t the same. Confidence is the distinguishing trait.
The alpha realizes that he can only rely on himself, he has to take what he wants, and women aren’t divine goddesses. And so does the asshole, for the most part. But the alpha is confident and self-assured. He loves himself, and everything he does reflects this love. The asshole, on the other hand, is not. He has intense insecurities that cause him to constantly attack others in the hopes of making himself feel better. He gets the big picture, but can’t get a handle on himself.
To demonstrate the inherent differences between these three types of men, I’ll provide an example. We’ll examine how they each behave at the bar, because the bar is a quintessential example for every concept these days.
As he enters: His first instinct is to seclude himself in the corner, or hide amongst his group of close friends. Based on this behaviour, you might guess that staying hidden is his goal.
Girls: Even if he’s single and wants to meet a new girl, he won’t approach. He doesn’t want to “inconvenience” or “startle” any of these holy creatures. He’d rather shamefully look at them and hope they don’t notice. If they make eye contact, he’s quick to take out his cellphone and send a fake text message.
You can find him: If he ventures away from the corner, he’ll be hovering around the bar trying to order a drink. It might take him an hour though. He doesn’t want to be too “aggressive” and push his way up front. That might upset someone.
As he enters: The asshole feels at home at the bar. That doesn’t mean he’s secure though. He just comes a lot. When he enters, he’ll push his way to the bar and order a Bud Light, or three.
Girls: He tends to be single, but often gets caught up trying to prove his manliness instead of approaching women. He may also be afraid of women, and would rather get shit-faced drunk with his friends before throwing himself at anything that moves on the dance floor.
You can find him: Rest assured he’ll be posted up at the bar, staring other guys down. If not, you can find him throwing shoulders and elbows into other men, trying to prove his “dominance”, as he enters the bathroom for the 53rd time.
As he enters: The alpha is also comfortable at the bar. But this comfort is a result of his regular confidence. He also understands of the insecurities of nearly everyone else who’s there, be it nice guys, assholes, or girls. He might order a drink, approach a girl, or just soak in the environment.
Girls: He can enjoy a good conversation with his buddy, but he won’t hesitate to approach a cute girl, if he sees one that catches his eye.
You can find him: He could be anywhere, but if he’s not deep in conversation he probably has a girl under his arm.
If you realize that men tend to take one of these three forms, it’s far easier to understand their actions. While a nice guy is easy to pick out, keep your eyes open when it comes to the assholes and the alphas. Few men are confident and alpha– don’t be fooled by the common “tough guy” act.
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And how should I deal with each of these types?
A well-groomed ballroom dancer can humiliate all three of these archetypes.
Not if they look like you старик. Can you do the
Prisyadki or Mazurka? Or Cossack dance and not get heart attack? Then drink bottle of vodka and make sex with young girl without boner pill.
Can you do the “Charleston”, then drink bottle of Kentucky Bourbon and make love to young girl without mechanical devises or contrivances of any kind?
I can do all dance and am not dyke grandpa.
A well groomed ballroom dancer is an alpha by definition and yes, they get all the girls as they are chill, know how to move, know when to hold and when to let go.
There is different flavors of asshole. There’s the bitterness of the pill itself that often bleeds through in the early stages of swallowing the red pill. It is often hard to accept how badly you have been lied to by everyone from day one, how manipulated and betrayed you have been. Having been played for a sucker, etc.
There is different flavors of asshole.
Not if the bitches you’re eating out are washing themselves properly…
It should also be noted that alphas are often called assholes for the emotions they create in women. Be aware and reward the compliment with a smirk and a ‘thank you…I know…’
Note that in this context, asshole refers to the guy who has poorly calibrated alpha traits, in that he over sells his aloof attitude to the point of coming across as poorly socially adjusted.
Yeah. Hence ‘alphas are often called assholes…be aware…’
So many guys say they can’t read women. In the end, we all have the instinctual ability to read other people.. Only a few of us ever truly learn to act on our instinctual understanding of human body language.
Exactly, it depends on what you call an asshole. For example, roissy uses it as a synonym for alpha.
Aw you poor weetle victim. Did your unwed man hating mommy lie to you? Did your teacher tell you that you were special because you rode the short little bus to school? Were you are winners and got awards just for showing up at school? Yes you were lied to and when you went into the real world it was like a shock.
Enter the unnecessarily condescending insecure asshole flavor.
I get what you’re trying to say Jefe, but the bar example sucks
it’s a little more complex, i think everyone has aspects of all 3.
it’s really all about how secure a person is…. the nice guy is secure enough in himself to take it easy, but he misses out because he lacks the killer instinct to get more involved in life. this can come from real insecurities, or a sense of entitlement, or just a passive ‘it will come to me’ attitude.
the asshole is the most insecure and has the most issues under the surface, but he is often quite successful, just because he goes out there and gets his hands dirty. but in many cases his success is his undoing, because he hates himself underneath, so even in success he’s still trying to prove himself… (you’re only as good as your last fight.)
the alpha is trying to balance out his insecurities. (everyone has them). he’s probably had some early success and validation in life, so he’s got himself ‘somewhat’ of a platform, even if that was just good luck with a hot chick when he was 17-18, or having a rich confident father or doing well in college and scoring a good job… etc. etc.
either that or he’s a guy that’s consciously set out to improve himself and dig deep on many levels.
You should have written the article on this subject. No offense, Jefe.
thanks for the vote of confidence, i’m only passing on other stuff i’ve read…..
Not only are all 3 styles incorporated in every man, but the female is a moving target that is always changing, and snaking / flaking on a dime.
It would be nice if everything fell into such tight clean models like this.
In real life – it doesnt work that way.
all females are inherently insecure…. not just because they are smaller and weaker and vulnerable both physically and emotionally… but also because being inside a female physical body is not very pleasant…. females all feel like crap and have huge body issues…. imagine having a floppy pair of tits that are ALWAYS one slightly different size to the other, strapped to your chest… an ass that ALWAYS feels fat… and a pussy that bleeds 1 week a month and having to sit down to pee…… it’s a messy business long before we get into competing with each other for men, pregnancy, breast feeding and child raising…
take away the make up, hair doos, jewelery, lingerie, cosmetics, perfume etc. etc…. these are all things to ‘dress up’ the female state….
this is why females need males to ‘take care’ of them… think farmer and his cattle….
I know a lot of secure females. They generally have a university degree and a gig in acting or the fashion industry they can discard to returning back to being a doctor/lawyer/etc.
Maybe 10% of men and 10% of women are secure. The funny thing is in countries that promote grooming like Russia, Ukraine, the Middle East, free of second wave feminism, women are secure about themselves. They feel not only are they great at their jobs, but that they are beautiful with men buzzing around them who are genuinely attracted to them.
Women who don’t come from a culture where taking care of yourself is how you respect men as a belief feel insecure. No matter how successful their career is they don’t feel loved. In cultures where respect is seen as a trade, a woman takes care of herself, looks hot, you open doors for her and treat her right, women aren’t jealous of each other as often.
In US, too many feminists attack each other, its like a disease, because they feel insecure. Why? They want to be loved, but are too romanticized in their heads so they feel it is beneath them to learn the game that is required to attract a mate.
I know women with degrees that are as insecure as anyone you ever saw.
They do exist too. I just don’t have time for insecure chicks. You forget your phone on the table once to go to the bathroom and you return to catch her spying on your phone. I just go for attractive sane secure people.
You talk about these things like a bloke (obviously) :L Being inside a female body is VERY pleasant. It’s even more so when the husband is inside it too
I think the bar was a good example in the past, but I feel nowadays, you could be the sh1t in the bar, but lose the girl once you are outside that environment. As I shared on another article, assuming she is physically attracted to you, all you need to do is to show YOU CAN ASSERT YOUR DOMINANCE OVER HER – she doesn’t necessarily care about the alpha player status.
Case in point, lets consider that most men these days are way too passive-aggressive when confronted with a man that their girlfriend likes – they’ll make a ton of snide comments trying to stab the other guy in the back. This causes me and often the GF to lose respect for the guy (the girls know what’s up, they live for social games). i’ve seen this poor tactic delay a guy’s ability to get the lay. I recently saw a guy do a trick which I have to use more often – he saw that dissing me was a bad idea (ie not alpha) so he didn’t go down that route. Instead, he playfully hit his girl and made a cheeky comment about her – she laughed at him and there was no opportunity for me to get in there; I had to respect the way he went about it – that’s alpha. Sure, it can be a drag to do this constantly and you have to wonder what happens if you’re not around, but establishing a solid frame means she won’t stray.
There are also a group of women, sizable enough, who are socialized to be the leader and so reject leadership from men. It truly is a women’s market in the West, even though it hurts the growth of the men and society as a whole. But we have to make the most of it, so I guess if you want to be the chooser and not the chosen, I would say that (a) approaching a lot and (b) establishing dominance over the girl real well and early on, is a simple tactic to yield better results than some of the traditional gimmicks out there, as to how we all need to be the ‘alpha in the bar’. The nature of the game has changed as society has changed.
Ive seen social alphas in the bar go home alone, often. Sure, the ‘fame’ aspect helps if they have that kind of position in that niche, but otherwise, finding women who are attracted to you (even if its only a few) and being able to pick up on cues to CLOSE EFFECTIVELY is what real game is about. I feel most/all gurus (?) do not address that and using the gurus as a template, you would have to give up your day job and approach poosy sometimes 24/7, which is utterly ridiculous for most men. If you don’t do this, you are suggested as ‘not trying hard enough’, which is also ridiculous. Most men (including me) in the femcunt-socialized environment need to just learn to better identify the girls who are into us (yes, they exist for every guy) and close effectively. This ability to identify those women, establish persistant dominance over the girl alone, and close without any awkwardness is what is alpha.
The term you’re looking for is “screening”.
Dude, you need some hobbies or something. You really think about this pussy/ game/ manosphere shit wayyy too much.
Right, because authors of articles, regular posters and so on aren’t in the same boat. Nice try with the shaming language. Are you even male? I have 11 upvotes as of yet, compared to your two, one of which you definately gave yourself, if not both. You didn’t even have the balls to post your own name. Feminists aren’t welcome.
“I have 11 upvotes as of yet, compared to your two, one of which you definately gave yourself, if not both.”
This is where you lost your credibility or respect, narcissist.
She wont stray?.. are you kidding me, the media has instilled a belief in the slut’s mind that it is perfectly fine to fuck other men on the side.
My story…
My slut isn’t different, we had an argument one day and didn’t talk to each other for five. Within those five days she managed to set up 3 dates that I personally know of, when I asked about other guys she denied it while looking me straight in the eyes. I was going to dump the slut but my roommate talked me out of it as she serves a purpose in our apartment: cleaning, cooking, fucking, sucking, laundry, I’m currently trying to get her to fuck both of us(Eiffel tower), and lately she buys most of the groceries! she doesn’t know whats coming. I mentally checked out of that relationship the day I found out about all those dates.. Dont get mad get even, she wasted 4 months of my life so I’m compelled to return the favor, I’m not vindictive. I’m bouncing back to Poland soon and wont even say bye.
I like to think of the Nice Guy, Asshole, Alpha archetypes as fitting into a hierarchical-progressive structure into which each man falls somewhere along the gradient.
Nice Guy
Naive to the realities around male-female sexual interaction, insecure in himself and caught up in pedestalizing women as divine, infallible, unique flowers.
Asshole
Has come to realize and internalize some of the major guiding concepts that govern male-female sexual interaction, remains insecure in self because of lack of work on himself and has yet to possess true pride or confidence in his abilities or who he is as a man, and has reduced his pedestalization of women, though still seeks out female validation because of the aforementioned lack of investment in himself.
Alpha
Understands and has internalized rules governing male-female sexual interaction, has invested in himself and internalized his own value as a man and, thus, exudes confidence in everything he does, no longer pedestalizes women because his attraction to women is based solely on the traits they possess, which he assesses in real-time as to whether they increase, decrease, or are neutral in their effect on his desire for them.
This is an incomplete representation but I feel a solid way to analyze and qualitatively determine where a man is in his self-development. A man can become stuck at any point on this scale.
That is the structure for America. In Russia and places where women have long hair, make up, groomed, go to the gym, where dresses and heels and know the market value of their sexuality, the hierachy is gamma (asshole), then beta(nice guy), then Alpha. They accept sacrificing sexual attraction in exchange of not being with an asshole.
American women say that “I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me”, cut their hair short, gain too much weight. They are innocent and clueless of the games men play. While Russian and Arab women laugh at assholes, these clueless girls mistake them for alphas.
Both assholes and nice guys copy different attributes of Alpha, but aren’t Alpha. So depending on where you are, if you aren’t alpha, try being beta or gamma until you learn being assertive alpha. In US and Western Europe, Sweden, where women are naive about sexuality and say “love me as I am with my fatfolds and don’t fatshame”… they mistake jerks for alphas. Nice guys have no chance there. In Russia, Middle East, girls are trained, and they see you are playing game to try to manipulate her to get her into bed without the situation having anything it in it for her (let’s say she wants marriage, happiness, romance).
Russian/Arab/Italian women go: he is playing game, what’s in it for me… nothing. Next. They settle for nice guys and the lucky ones find alphas. They know assholes are trying to fake being alpha and are like a nice guy but fake. A nice guy is what it is, not hot, but what you can get, and at least he is honest about being “meh” so you know what you are getting is their attitude.
Girls with less game, more idealism and naivity like American girls think that assholes are true Alphas. They think they won the lottery, so if you are a nice guy… you just lost out to the fake alpha, the asshole.
Women want alphas, but they make calculations on mating choices differently. Let’s remember, most men and women are insecure, hence not alpha.
lol I just realized i’m an asshole. I’ll try to work on my inner issues then. His analysis is completely correct. I consider myself a red-piller but i do have issues.
Wow, what a waste of a RoK posting.
…and most women today won’t know the difference until the Asshole has had an unsatisfying (to her) bout of “college sex” and jetted– ciao, ‘ho!
I started off as a Nice Guy. Nothing to be ashamed of (for a time) IMHO. I was still nervous around women, heck that’s probably putting it mildly. I went to the bar, shot cricket, played pool, and chatted with older guys. I was lucky, I skipped the asshole phase.
My dad had imparted some wisdom to me, but even more important was Russ. He was married to a fine looking woman who had borne him 4 kids and still looked hot for 32. Russ warned me about lowering my standards, and told me that: ‘Women are nice, but owning your own business, being confident in yourself, and achieving your own goals is more important.’
I was never AMOG there, but I’ve never forgotten that statement. I’ve avoided the ‘nice guy’ pitfalls. I’ve also avoided being the obnoxious asshole at a party.
Alpha? Maybe. I’ve got myself set to the point I can be interesting, and pull, without being a loud brag
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