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#MyStory: I Went For A Massage… And Then A Man Walked In!!
I love getting massages! They make me feel completely relaxed and energized – enough to be able to face the hectic week ahead of me. Now, I recently made a trip to Thailand, and I was told that if you don’t get a Thai massage while you’re in Thailand, you’re missing something!
One day, I was walking down the streets of Pattaya. While I was strolling around the place, a beautiful Thai spa caught my attention. I said to myself: “This is it! I’m going to go in there and get myself pampered.”
All went well initially. I booked an appointment and they asked me to get ready. All I had was a towel wrapped around me. I was nervous and equally excited while waiting in the spa room for my massage therapist. The lights were dim and a floral aroma clouded the room. I had a good feeling about this.
After a couple of minutes, I heard the door open. To my surprise, it wasn’t a woman. It was a man! I was a bit shocked because I had never gotten a massage from a man before. He smiled gently and asked me to lie down on the massage bed. Only the lower half of my body was now covered with the towel that they had provided. To be honest, it was quite awkward!
He probably sensed that I was nervous. And so in calm voice, he asked me to just relax and keep my mind blank and free from thought. At that moment, I decided to trust him – what else could I do, really? I’d paid for the massage already, and I was – truth be told – kinda curious about this experience. His first touch on my skin made me jump – no guy other than my boyfriend had ever touched me like that. But I stopped feeling nervous within seconds; he was super professional. As the massage continued, I let my guard down and relaxed completely.
The soft music and the rhythm of my masseur’s hands de-knotting my muscles was an experience out of this world. It felt heavenly. I have to admit that I didn’t want him to stop! I didn’t even notice how quickly the allotted 45 minutes flew by.
After the massage, I changed back into my clothes and walked out a really happy customer. My masseur gave me his card as I was leaving, and till today, I keep it safe in my wallet. Whenever I do make my next trip to Thailand, I’ll make sure to pay that spa in Pattaya a visit. It’s not that the ladies I’ve received massages from in Mumbai aren’t great, but that massage was just…so unique! Here’s hoping I’m able to repeat the experience again!
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Part of HuffPost Style & Beauty. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
As a woman who's been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything -- the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of "happy ending" jokes all. the. time.
writer, Editor-In-Chief @ Ravishly.com
Sep 19, 2014, 11:29 AM EDT | Updated Nov 19, 2014
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Part of HuffPost Style & Beauty. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
writer, Editor-In-Chief @ Ravishly.com
As a woman who's been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything -- the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of "happy ending" jokes all. the. time. And while everyone thinks these jokes are hilarious, the reality is that every massage therapist does have to deal with a few sexually... heightened moments with male clients over the course of his or her career.
But let me just say that boners during massage appointments are totally normal. So to all the guys out there: You don't need to be embarrassed. There is no need to dart out of the room. Most massage therapists are professionals and won't just stare at your hard-on. We really don't want you to feel any more uncomfortable than you already are. So just relax -- and know that we are not judging you.
That said , there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. What do I mean by that? Let me break it down for you...
Wow sir, I see you have an enormous erection! How might I know this? Because you have ever-so-unkindly removed the blanket that was (purposefully) placed on top of you to make certain I am aware of your arousal. And then to add to my misery you want to talk about it!? Ugh. Gross. These little scenarios I'm completely over. You know what I'm thinking during this game of show and tell? That I want to end the service immediately -- and I totally would if I could! Though, if you make this mistake, I'll offer you the chance to take the hint that this behavior is not OK by placing another blanket on top you, all while silently praying that this is where your shameless peacocking display ends. If not, though -- we are done.
No, really, this happens. If a male client is aroused and then his position is switched to lying on his stomach, I have observed ( far too many times) that he might start humping the table. Humping or "purposeful wiggling" -- however you want to term it -- is a sexual act that is awkward and disarming. Who knows how it might end? To be clear, I understand a client's need to adjust himself and possibly rein in his boner if he has one so that the rest of the service can be enjoyed. But please do not hump the table until you are "satisfied." Or else I will have to, you guessed it, end the service -- and no one wants that.
Unless you are having a heart attack or another similar kind of extreme physical episode that renders you unable to use your vocal cords, please do not touch your therapist during your service. Just because I am touching you in a therapeutic manner and sending you healing energy, this does not mean you can grab my legs, arms or try to guide my hands. This is especially true if you are erect, as this will send me over the edge and I will cut our session short. Here's what touching is appropriate: shaking hands before or after your service. And perhaps, if you are an established regular with your therapist, hugs might be acceptable. But this is it.
Do Not Give Directions To Your Penis
If a guy is sporting some wood and asks me to massage his inner thighs or stomach, guess what? I know exactly what you're up to -- and I'm not going to do it. You are fooling no one. Do you think my hand is going to magically start tugging on Little Tommy because you are inviting me to massage around where he hangs out? Uh. Nope . In such cases, I'm totally disgusted and will likely give you a less-than-average-level massage, just so you don't get the wrong idea.
Don't Blow It: Masturbate Before Your Appointment
Just so no one is confused: This is something I am asking you to do. Listen, to be real, clients do ejaculate during appointments and these are the incidents a therapist retraces in his or her mind over and over for eternity. We think: Was there anything that could have prevented this? To my fellow therapists: Please remember that if this happens during one of your services, it was not your fault. Clients: Keep in mind that in the event that you do finish before your session finishes, your therapist isn't going to be able to erase this incident from his or her mind... ever. And generally, the standard protocol is for the client to be banned from returning to the spa ever again. And this probably goes without saying: Everyone at the front desk will look at you like a creep as you weasel your way out the front door. Now how is that for a happy ending?
To be clear, my intention is not to boner-shame anyone. I am just educating the misinformed who think "happy endings" are a real thing -- as 99 percent of the time, this is not the case.
Please, thank you, and come again! (Sorry, after five years of happy ending "jokes," I had to.)
This story first appeared on Ravishly.com , an alternative news+culture website for women.
writer, Editor-In-Chief @ Ravishly.com
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