Guy Cums In Wrong Pussy During Threesome
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Guy Cums In Wrong Pussy During Threesome
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First MFM threesome. A Bad and humiliating experience
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throaway account Me 26M and my gf (25F) after 1 year of relationship decide to go thru a MFM threesome. I left her pick the guy of course, as i wont be touching him at all. The guy was really good looking, but this didnt worry me much honestly. I got a bit anxious when he took out a 8+ inch dick, very girthy as well. So i start having sex with my gf while she blows him, she didnt feel ready for dp anyways, so me and the other guy were taking turns basically. To put it simply, when he started to fuck her, I felt like it was useless for me be there. I've never heard my gf be so vocal, nor i saw her have an orgasm so easily and quickly. She always told me she has an hard time reaching orgasm, thats why i maybe make her cum 50% of the times during penetration. Well, while this guy was fucking her, she came 3 times, and came really hard, shaking and almost passing out. 3 times. I never felt insecure about my average 6 inches dick, and i didnt think size mattered much to her pleasure anyways. She was having fun, too much fun maybe, and i didnt want to ruin the party so i played along for her peace of mind. When i went back to fuck her, she was extremely loose, she was probably not even feeling me at all. The most heartwrecking thing is that she was pushing me to go deeper...but i phisically couldn't. This killed me.
Im not sure i want to talk to her about this because she will probably say that size doesnt matter, and it would make me feel worse because it's an obvious white lie in this case. It did matter a lot apparently. The last thing i want is for her to think im insecure and weak minded, but this was honestly the most humiliating experience of my life, and i hope i will get to bury this shock in my mind and not let it destroy my relationship with her. I will never, ever do this again. If someone had a similar experience i would like to hear what did you do to get over it, how you talked to your gf or your pov in general about this. I really appreciate women point of view clearly.
PS: of course i wanted her to enjoy it, the problem is that i was not expecting this difference of size, nor i was expeting her reaction to the difference of size.
TLDR: gf had the best sex of her life with a stranger with a big dick in a threesome and now i feel like a sub human
Edit: I would like to thank everyone for the useful advice so far. I might need to see the bigger picture of the encounter and think twice about what happened. The size played a part...no one cant deny that, but also the situation was a fantasy of her, so she was even more turned on. I will try to come to terms with this and tell her what im feeling for real in a calm and resolute way. I will try my best to not make her feel bad about this and i hope she will understand my insecurities and anxiety. I dont know honestly if this can be recoreved because, as someone said, i might have opened pandora's box. I guess it will depends by her response and how we treat this. Im always the cool and dominant and confident guy for her and i fear she will think less of me.
Well....There is nothing nice to say about this.
This is case#302838108410813083 of a poorly planned and badly executed threesome that will likely cause long term damage if not destroy the relationship.
I don't want this to come off as a lecture but, there are some things you need to understand where you went wrong.
FIRSTLY, threesomes are for people who are COMPLETELY satisfied in their sexual life. They are NOT for people who need to spice up the bedoom, they are not for people who think its going to save their relationship. Adding more people into your relationship that has problems (not to say yours did) is not an answer.
Next, threesomes require the utmost trust and open communication or you get scenarios like yours. If you can't ask her what shes looking for in fucking another guy, or if you can't handle her asking you why you wanna fuck another girl do-not-do-it. You HAVE to talk about every little nagging thought that could possibly come up and then mentally prepare for at least twice as many coming up in the heat of the moment. Again, you have to be a couple that is capable of communicating the good and the bad to each other and responding rationally.
Last, threesomes need to be mutual. YOU have to want that third person there and she has to as well. If one of you is just doing it to placate the other, it will 100% end in disaster. You see this with mostly MFF threesomes where the girl just puts up with the guy wanting to fuck other chicks, but he won't allow a MFM threesome because he doesn't want his sexual ego challenged. You have to be able to recognize this sort of stuff about yourself and realize when you have to step in and say no.
So, to recap. Both of you have to be 100% on board, sexually satisfied and capable of communicating.
Talk to her. Today, right now. I promise you, you cannot just bury this and hope it goes away. It going to pop up, that image in your head of her enjoying being fucked good by another guy and its going to eat away at you. You're not being jealous/petty/insecure, you BOTH jumped into something you shouldn't have and were not ready for it.
Now, this is key. You CANNOT talk to her about this in a confrontational manner. If you do, it'll set the tone as you being jealous and petty and most likely slam the door on any possibility of resolving this. If you talk to her, tell her that you didn't enjoy it, that you don't need to get even or anything like that and have a MFF or that your not even upset with her. It was a mistake you both made and it made you feel insignificant as a lover. Hopefully its a good relationship and you both try and comfort one another...
But, understand you've pretty much opened pandora's box here and there is literally no telling whats going to happen. You do NEED to talk about it. Cause again i promise you, it won't go away on its own. But that doesn't necessarily mean you can salvage this. I do hope you take this as a learning experience at the very least.
You are absolutely right. It was poorly planned, and we were not in the situation to do this kind of thing yet. This was a crude reality check for me and made me self conscious about my abilities. I fear that it wont be the same between us, so i guess I (we) really fucked this up, I should have imagined this a risk, maybe I was to confident arrogant and naive when I tought of a 3rd guy in the bedroom.
only thing i'd like to add is I feel that its possible for a couple to do all the right things and communicate to the utmost perfection, and still have a threesome that ends badly. Maybe some people just aren't emotionally able to handle threesomes? Idk. But if that is truly the case, then at least the couple will learn this and know for the future that a threesome is not for them.
Fantastic piece of advice here. You weren't rude or unecessarily cruel in your assessment, just brutally honest. Fair play the OP is receptive.
This should be the threesome textbook. I don’t agree with every sentiment, but overall a very solid bit of advice that anyone considering a threesome should consider. Particularly the part about being a satisfied couple. That might seem counterintuitive to some people, but as you said, if you feel that you need to do this to make something better, you’re likely to make something worse.
I wish every couple knew this before they jumped into their first threesome. I've watched so many people ruin their relationships from a threesome gone bad
Dude, nice articulate and comprehensive response! You could charge people for advice this clear.
Well said. This should be a PSA post stickied on the subreddit wiki.
I just wanted to say sometimes it's the intensity of a new & risky experience that gets me off as a woman, hardly about dick size. Obviously that doesn't change what you saw or felt just wanted to mention. I'm sorry it was a bad experience for you.
^ What she said (I can't up-vote this enough)!! OP is assuming that his wife's reaction was due ENTIRELY and SOLELY to the 3rd's physical attribute. I would have to say that is likely wrong. OP gave his wife a gift that most us can't even fathom and only exists in one's wildest dreams: a totally lust fueled experience centered around her (her wants and needs and craziest desires) completely encapsulated within a loving and secure marriage . Mr. 3rd was just a single ingredient in all of this entire experience; an experience which was based on wife's ability to have enough faith in her marriage and eschew any fears (any hesitation any remorse) and completely give herself to the experience. It seems like it was the freeing of those fears and not so much the other guy that got her off.
I see it like this: you save for years for that perfect vacation. You arrive at your destination and stumble upon the most beautiful cabana along the beach. You order a drink but the bartender brings you a beer by mistake. You drink it anyway. It is the best beer you've ever tasted. It turns our to be a draft Bud light...
Op should take some time to try see it this way before talking to her about his feelings. Try to see it from this other perspective, first.
The first time we full swapped with another couple the excitement got the best of me and I couldn't keep it up with the other women. I rolled with it and we all focused on pleasing my wife and she had a great time. That being said when we left I felt like absolute shit, I was the limp noodle while he was the stud fucking two chicks. And to top it off the condom broke in my wife at the worst moment and she ended up with a pussy full of another man's cum while I had to ride home with blue balls. I was having what I can only describe as a panic attack from the crushing anxiety of the whole situation, skin crawling, heavy chest, the works... I went home, showered, and then talked it out with my wife. We had both agreed to leave any time the other felt uncomfortable and I had repeatedly confirmed that I was still on board after my difficulties. I told her how I felt and that I didn't think I wanted too do it again. She was supportive, comforting and did the best she could to empathize with me and let me know how much better sex was with me when it's just us. Then we had crazy sex on the residual excitement and tried to move on. I felt shity for a couple weeks after but it slowly faded as the sex at home was still amazing and I gained my confidence in my equipment and abilities back. Fast forward to the next time we meet that couple (our only playmates) and I don't have nearly the issues from before and we have a great time. Now I'm looking forward to the next time we can get together with them.
I had the full gambit of emotions over that few weeks, ranging from cut and run "this ruined how I see her" feelings and thinking things will never be the same, all the way to worrying I had opened up a slutty Pandora's box and my wife was suddenly going to be chasing every dick but mine. Those feelings were real, but they were also temporary. If I had made a rash decision in the first few days after I could have fucked up or ended my entire marriage. My biggest advice is to let your self feel the emotions but don't let them fool you into a decision you'll regret once your head is back on streight. Give it a few days or weeks if you need to befor you talk about it in detail, tell her you need some time to work it out in your head and that you are not upset with her for enjoying something you originally did spacificly to enjoy (this is important).
It will pass and everything will go back to normal, or it might not, but don't make a quick decision on a relationship you clearly had a lot of value in befor and probably still do.
PM me if you would like to chat about it more, or I'd be happy to reply in this thread.
Best of luck, keep you're eye on the positive!
Fair play to dude, good and supportive message but honest with your initial disappointment and 'failure'. The OP definitely needs a pick me up.
Edit 2: I was not expecting so many replies. Thanks to everyone. I spoke with my gf about this in the most calm way possible. I explained her that this threesome made me feel insecure because of how she reacted to this guy. I asked her to be 100% honest, because im not a fan on sugar coating, and i dont want to end up in a situation where my SO fakes to be shaking or roll her eyes to make me feel better. She said that she did feel fuller with this guy (no shit)which also caused her to react like that, as she never had someone that girthy. I told her that this was really rough on me and she felt really sad about it. After that she reassured me with what felt like a partecipation award for sex and kind, empty words. She cant make it better, but she tried. Lastly she told me that she choose an attractive guy and didnt check about penis size at all (and i didnt care because i thought it wouldnt be important) She's one of those women that need a bigger tool to be fully satisfied maybe, they do exists, and using tricks and dildos to make her cum more wont make me feel much better, because i know i cant make her feel like that during PIV. I want to clarify that my gf is an amazing person, she clearly loves me, as i said already this is mainly a problem for my ego, because not enough reassuring will make me forget how she came almost immediatly when the other dude started banging her. We did have sex again and her vagina feels normal now. Still, the fact that i wasnt able to make her feel anything after the other guy finished is something you cant sugar coat. She asked me if there is anything she can do to make me feel better, and the only thing i could say is to just go on and not talk about it. There is not much to talk about guys...the guy was better at sex, she did compare us in her head (even if subconsciously), and the fact that im good bf, the fact the she choose me or that im a good person doesnt change that i cant please my gf like he did with my own body without using ojects. I just want to feel like a real man again, and i doubt most women will undestand what I mean with this. It's not about her, its about me, being able to satisfy her FULLY with normal penetration instead of COPING with my "not enough" equipment and make her use big dildos that have NOTHING to do with my actual capabilities. She will probably regret letting her self go (and i didnt want her to feel bad). This played out quite quickly when we spoke about it, but i doubt its over. This will be a huge weight on our relationship from now on.
I tought i was the best sex for her. Im clearly not, and I didnt need to know that for my own sanity. Im not sure i will update this post any soon, because i need to space out a little, so thank you everyone for the replies and the help.
I hope you feel better soon op, also if you find any good ways to cope about your size/ inadequacy and such...let me know cause I can use those ideas.
I completely understand how you feel, but one thing I think you shouldn't blame yourself for is that she came very quickly... I think that's kind of expected, it was a new situation for her, maybe some hidden fantasy.
The main question you can ask yourself is why did you agree to such request in the first place.
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