Guide To Rimming
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Guide To Rimming
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Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
Dementia
Bias
Affective Forecasting
Neuroscience
There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may shortchange the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
Posted April 27, 2010
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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
When I launched my website, I expected people to find it by searching "sex after 40," "sex and menopause ," "erectile dysfunction," "penis size," and "desire differences." Indeed, those are my top search terms. But a surprising number have found the site by using two search terms I never expected: "rimming" and "analingus." These both refer to oral-anal contact.
If you're repulsed by this, then by all means, don't play that way. But recent surveys suggest that 15 percent of American adults have experienced some form of anal sex— that's some 20 million people. I've found no statistics on the prevalence of rimming, however. If you know of any, please comment. Still, as web searches show, many lovers are curious about it, and often feel surprised by their interest. Among those who do try it, many enjoy it.
Heterosexuals typically stumble upon analingus during cunnilingus. The man's tongue slips further south than he intended, and both lovers realize they've crossed a line.
Analingus is a minority pleasure, but there's nothing abnormal about it. If you reflexively condemn it, remember that not too long ago, oral sex was considered a perversion and outlawed in many states.
Analingus feels erotic for the same reason that anal play in general might feel that way. The anus and surrounding tissue are richly endowed with nerves that are highly sensitive to erotic touch.
In addition, lovemaking draws much of its emotional power from intimacy , lovers' deep acceptance of each other. Analingus is a way for the rimmer to say: "I love all of you. No part of you turns me off." It's also a way for the rimmee to say: "I'm totally yours. No part of me is off limits to you." Such mutual acceptance can be a powerful turn-on.
Of course, rimming also involves a big fear , which is fecal contact. Not to worry, says sex therapist Jack Morin, Ph.D., author of Anal Pleasure and Health . Soap and water remove any traces of stool, so it's a good idea to shower together before trying analingus. For extra safety, the rimmee might also use an enema or two before washing.
For non-monogamous lovers, rimming carries another risk—infections. The digestive tract terminates at the anus. Digestive bacteria pass through it, notably E. coli , which may remain around the opening. If E. coli come in contact with a woman's genitals, she might develop a vaginal infection (vaginosis), or a urinary tract infection (UTI, cystitis, or bladder infection). Rimming might also transmit Shigella and Salmonella , which cause food poisoning, Giardia lamblia and amoebas, which cause diarrhea, and HIV, the cause of AIDS. Assess your risk, and don't rim anyone who has these infections. But Morin says that among healthy, monogamous lovers who practice good anal hygiene, the infection risk of analingus is "extremely low."
Some couples who accidentally discover analingus "accidentally" keep doing it without discussion. That's fine, but I recommend discussing it. If your honey objects, then that's that. No one should ever feel pressured into anything sexual . But if your lover shows any interest—even if it's couched in skepticism—you might discuss this post, and perhaps try rimming.
Even if the two of you decide not to try analingus, or you try it and then stop, your discussions should deepen your intimacy. You learn more about one another, and ultimately, I hope, feel closer.
Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.
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There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may shortchange the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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A rim job — also known as rimming or analingus — is the act of using one’s mouth and tongue to pleasure your partner’s anus. Rim jobs can involve licking, sucking and kissing, and any other oral-to-anal contact. Anal rimming can involve inserting the tongue into the anus, circling around it — hence why it’s called “rimming” — or exploring around the rest of the butt area. It can be a pleasurable act on its own or a way to prepare for other types of penetrative anal sex such as fingering , fisting or intercourse.
Although rimming has traditionally been thought of as a taboo sex act, it’s been brought to the mainstream with artists, celebrities and groups on social media being more open about the pleasures of rim jobs. Anal rimming has carried the connotation as an exclusively “gay” activity because involves the anus, but people of all sexual and gender identities can find pleasure in giving or receiving a rim job. This is because there are tons of nerve endings in the anus, not to mention the psychological pleasure that can be experienced with oral-anal play. In turn, many people find rimming a significant source of sexual arousal.
For those looking to add something new to their sex life, rim jobs can be satisfying both physically and mentally. For a unique sexual experience, some may want to combine the act with penetration using toys or some form of BDSM.
As with any other sexual act, rimming is not a one-size-fits-all activity. Some may be able to orgasm from rim jobs, but the way anyone orgasms varies from person to person. Some people can orgasm from anal stimulation alone, while others may need to have other genital pleasure zones to be stimulated to be able to reach climax.
For the most part, rimming is a relatively safe activity; however, no sexual act is 100% cleared from any kind of risk.
You can get bacterial infections like e.coli and salmonella from rimming. Giardia, a microscopic parasite, and other parasites can also be transmitted through feces through rimming. This is preventable by making sure the anus is clean beforehand. It should be noted that you should avoid rim jobs if your partner has been sick or is experiencing symptoms of a stomach bug. When people have viral stomach infections, most experience diarrhea or stomach pain, which can be transmitted to you through rimming.
Practicing safe sex is as important for rimming as in every other sexual act. Although there is usually low risk, some of the following STIs can be transmitted through rim jobs:
There are a couple of things you can do to decrease the likelihood of STI transmission during rimming. First, keep an eye out for cuts on the tongue, lips, gums, or rectum. These cuts can become entry points for infection and transmission, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Using dental dams is another option. Dental dams are thin, latex or polyurethane sheets used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex. However, it should be noted that dental dams are not widely used, which is why those engaging in rim jobs should make it a point to have regular, comprehensive testing and treatment (if needed) completed to prevent the risk of spreading STIs.
Comprehensive testing includes swabbing rectally (for rimmee) and orally (for rimmer), as well as stool samples. Because stool sampling is not a routine test, it’s something you should ask your doctor to perform, but be sure to have your doctor test specifically for ova and parasites. Prophylactic regimens with Flagyl are recommended for people who experience repeated infections but love to rim.
In addition, because rimming has the potential to expose you to seeing warts, tags and other issues, it’s important to add into your routine both oral and anal HPV testing — which involves a Pap smear — as well as internal and external visual evaluations. The good news is the HPV vaccine, Gardasil, has now been approved for those up to 45 years of age; however, if you are outside this age range, consult with your doctor about receiving the vaccine, as we believe anyone who engages in anal play can benefit from it.
If you have a known history of cold sores — caused by herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) — you might benefit from a prescription of Valtrex prophylactically. At our practice, we often see HSV-1 down below for those who enjoy rimming/being rimmed.
Because rimming is not for everyone, before performing a rim job or any sexual act, all individuals involved need to be on the same page about what’s about to go down. Consent needs to be given by the person who will receive the rim job. Equally, if you want to receive one, you should be sure your partner is okay with doing it.
Once your partner gives you the green light or you’ve given your partner consent, you can simply incorporate it into your regular sexual repertoire.
Still, don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner(s) if any of the above-mentioned STI issues are present or of concern. In fact, you can simply swap out rimming for finger/toy play if a concern is present.
If you’re going to get a rim job, you can try stimulating your own anus beforehand to get used to the sensation. Plus, it’s important to know what you find pleasurable. You can do this using your fingers or a small sex toy. However, you should be sure to use plenty of lubrication.
Because anal rimming involves a body part that comes in contact with fecal matter, make sure to wash your anus thoroughly before getting involved in any sexual activity. You don’t necessarily need to douche or enema to prepare for rimming. Those are usually reserved for play that involves deeper penetration. However, if you do want to douche , Dr. Goldstein recommends a body-safe isotonic solution like the disposable rectal wash he helped develop.
Experts suggest the best cleanser is a gentle, non-scented soap and to avoid wet wipes since they can irritate the highly sensitive skin in that area. In addition, avoid any soaps that are too astringent since they can draw moisture front the anal region and make the skin more prone to contracting STIs.
Wash anything you use to penetrate (if you’re penetrating), like sex toys, fingers and other body parts. Afterward, you can rinse your mouth with an antiseptic mouthwash to kill off any potential bacteria, though you should avoid brushing for at least an hour to prevent microtears which can give way to STI transmission.
A 2017 study published in Sexually Transmitted Infections, a research journal, looked at whether gargling with Listerine could be an effective way to reduce the risk of oral gonorrhea. The study found that after gargling for one minute, the men in the study were half as likely to have living bacteria in their mouths, which was measured doing cotton swab tests before and after gargling. Though the results may need to be treated with caution, as they are preliminary, it serves an insight to the prevention of the spread of STIs.
The rim job can be an exciting way to take elevate oral sex and with these rimming tips, you can become a pro in no time. Because the anus is so sensitive, you can play with various sensations. There is a wide variety of techniques that can help prepare your partner for anal sex or enhance other sex acts. Some love the flat-tongue method, where they lick in long, flat strokes. Others love to penetrate the anus with the tongue or use the tongue to “make out” with the anus like they would another mouth.
You can experiment to find positions that work for you, but one of the most popular is a modified version of doggie style.
To do this, have the person receiving get down on the floor or bed on all fours. The person doing the rimming should kneel behind their partner, use their hands to guide the partner’s rear to the height that provides the best angle and use their hands to spread the butt cheeks.
Whether you’re receiving or performing the rim job, there needs to be an open line of communication to ensure all parties involved are satisfied. There really is no right or wrong way to complete a rim job as long as it is enjoyable. It’s a great way to add variation to your sex life or to warm things up. Just be sure to practice safe sex and clean before and after getting the job done.
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Ass eating. Butt munching. Biting the peach. Rimming. Whatever you call it, it’s a sex staple for the adventurous and less-squeamish among us who love playing in the backyard.
Everyone has a butt. This means everyone, regardless of gender, can receive a world-class rim job. I love getting my ass eaten and will gladly bend over for anyone. But I don’t rim just anyone. I save my rim jobs for the guys I like the most — the sexy, special men I want to please. We hold so much shame about our bodies and our butts that getting to that special place where you trust someone with your hole is awesome and intense — and a great bit of foreplay for other forms of anal sex.
If you want to give your partner some butt love, this is for you. Click through for 21 ass-eating tips you need to know.
My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.
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