Group Sex Girlfriends
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Group Sex Girlfriends
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My [23m] girlfriend [27F] of two months has had group sex, threesomes and so on.. I just want to talk about it.
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Okay, I'm not hating her for this. I'm not bashing her for this. We weren't together then and she is STD free. I just wanted to get this all out of the way. Sorry this is all over the place I type as I think of things.
Anyway, recently my girlfriend and I were drinking and well one thing led to another and we got talking about the past. Bad idea for me but it has happened and now it is there. So, I view sex as something to share with someone special. I need to feel a bond and emotional connection with someone. I've only had 2 sexual partners in the past before her. One was casual and was terrible. The second was a long term relationship of 3 years and was great sexually.
For her (my GF), sex is sex. It's something to do for fun and for emotional connection. I accept that other people have different views and will not pass an instant negative judgement because of this. So, to get to her part. She has told me that she has been with 14 males partners and 6 women partners from what she can remember. She has had group sex a few times, threesomes and a few foursomes. She has said that she counts anything sexual be it a handjob or anything sexual for her as sex. I didn't ask details I didn't want to know if each of the 14 guys was intercourse as I know that wouldn't be good for me to know.
She is a very sexual person as she as told me. But, when with someone she is exclusive to them. She has told me during almost all of her sexual life she was always drinking/drunk. She would mix her pills with drinking which would increase her intoxication and such. I took this all very surprising as she is a quiet innocent looking girl. It surprised me about how many people she has been with and I'm very intimidated by it. The group sex was really the bigger shocker for me. It really threw me off and I didn't expect that from her. She has said that groups sex was always couples having sex and was never passing each other around. She didn't go into much more detail then that which I'm glad but it still was surprising for me.
After telling me this she began to say for the first time in her life sex means something. She actually feels something when we have sex that she hasn't felt before with anyone else. She began to go on about how the sex with us is the best she has ever had. She went on about this for a while and in detail without me even asking or saying anything about us before hand. Which gave me a big confidence boost and made me feel better and such. I feel like I'm slowly getting over all of it. When I'm with her and for the last few days I don't even think about it. It's mainly when I'm alone and not doing anything it will cross my mind and I have a tendency to dwell on negative things that come into my mind and that is why right now I'm even typing this. I don't really know what to think about this all and just want to hear some other peoples experience with this or what they think.
TL;DR I[23m] and two month long girlfriend[27f] were drinking. Brought sexual past up. I slept with 2 other people before. She has slept with 14 men and 6 women. During this she had group sex, threesomes and foursomes. She count's any thing sexual as sex so the actually intercourse numbers are unknown. Anyway I always viewed sex and important and special between two people. She views sex as something fun to do, aka sex is sex. But, her sex was always involving drinking and substance abuse. I don't know if it's a crutch but she didn't make it sound like it was just what it is. I'm intimidated by it and in a little bit of shock but getting over it. She said the sex we have is the best in her life and she finally feels something during sex when before she never has. I just want to get over it and I have been but when I'm alone and away from her or not busy I dwell on it and want that to stop.
She gets tested every 6 months. I usually get tested every year for various reasons such as trips down south. After hearing about that I got tested last week. I'm her 2nd or 3rd sexual partners in the last 2 and a half years. I'm very positive we are both STD free as the tests both came back negative.
Yea, I figure it's either accept it and deal with it. Or I don't and end the relationship. But, honestly this girl landed in my lap at the right time in my life and just such a long list of positive things between us out weigh the negative by a long shot. I've only ever met one other person who has slept with more than five people. I'm from a small city and don't hear about that kind of thing very often. I feel I just need to get over the initial shock and get over my jealousy I guess you could say and it will pass. I just find typing out my thoughts and having them questions or answered helps me accept it all a lot easier than just doing it on my own. I'm semi dependent I guess haha.
After telling me this she began to say for the first time in her life sex means something. She actually feels something when we have sex that she hasn't felt before with anyone else. She began to go on about how the sex with us is the best she has ever had. She went on about this for a while and in detail without me even asking or saying anything about us before hand.
This was probably damage control when she saw the shocked look on your face and she realized what she had just done.
I'd be more concerned with how her relationships have been. Has she had any of those? If not, then that would be a red flag, for me.
Erm, this is hard to explain unless you know her. I'm gotten to know her and her sister who she lives with as well as her family and current friends really well. Most if not all of this stuff happened when she left our home town to bigger cities. So none of the people that were involved in any of this live in our city let alone talk to her anymore.
But, to answer your question. She is very genuine and told me about her past relationships. So, pretty much she was in a few relationships and stayed in them strictly even when abusive because she wanted to make the other person happy. I have seen her most recent ex from 6 months ago. And well I can tell you that I believe her on that because she is beautiful tiny girl and well she dated a overweight bearded guy just because he was nice.
She seemed like she was used a lot from her past boyfriends and even her sister has told me about her boyfriends in secret I guess and said they were all assholes and abusive to her. Yet she would stay in the relationships with these people. Which I assume is because it's how she is she just puts up with things as long as the other persons happy she is happy and doesn't care about her own self worth. Which I have notice and doing everything I can to show you don't have to date a piece of shit and make them happy when she should feel good and be happy with her self at the same time..
Her mother who I met recently has said similar things but doesn't know the extent of her past relationships let alone life style before. Anyway so yeah she's had relationships and been in 2 longish term ones but it seems she stayed single for a while or just had friends with benefits for a long time. With the alcohol and drug (prescription) abuse I think a lot of people have taken advantage of her being so forgiving and a overall nice person. I mean she doesn't seem regretful about anything but at the same time feels shame for it she won't say it but I can hear it in her voice.
Right now, I'm happy in our relationship and focusing on her and helping her through some things. Overall she is a very upbeat person and is happy but does have some stuff that is buried she is hiding I can tell. I just want to get past this sexual adventurous past stuff. I'm not gonna lie I am feeling envy that I haven't gone out and done things with other people like she has at my age not group sex or anything just experiencing other partners but at the same time it's not what I truly want and I just want to look past it all.
If a woman had groupsex with men liked it and continued without regretting it and stopping then she will go to purgatory if shes not married but if she was married then she will go to hell theres no excuses if a woman commited adultery and liked it it would been sadly the same if MARY MAGDALENE JESUS CHRISTs human mother commited adultery i would felt saddened and would maybe reincarnated her to be little nicer. If GOD had groupsex with men more than once and if she also had sex with a animal even just once i would tell her i cant have sex with her and telling her she would have herself to blame but i tell her i can still spend time with her i do still care about her i always will till the end of time even if i would be dissapointed with her same with my divine grandmother if she had sex with a animal even once then i cant have sex with her ever but if she had remained a virgin she would been totally in the clear to have sex with me.
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Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
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Sex
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Neuroscience
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted December 4, 2018
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Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
When people have threesomes or other kinds of group sex, how does it usually go? And are some people likely to have better experiences than others?
I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies for my book, Tell Me What You Want, and found that group sex—especially in the form of a threesome—was one of the most common things that turned people on. However, it turned out that people's experiences sharing and acting on this kind of fantasy differed a lot depending upon both their gender and sexual orientation .
For participants who said that group sex was their favorite sexual fantasy of all time, I looked at their likelihood of sharing and acting on this fantasy, and what their experiences were like for four separate groups: (1) exclusively heterosexual women, (2) exclusively heterosexual men, (3) women who reported any degree of same-sex attraction (lesbian, bisexual, queer, pansexual), and (4) men who reported any degree of same-sex attraction (gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual). Here’s what I found:
These results are intriguing, and they tell us a few important things. First, non-heterosexual men are the most likely to share and act on their group sex fantasies—and they’re also the most likely to report positive experiences with both. By contrast, straight women are the inverse—they’re the least likely to share and act on their group sex fantasies. And while they do tend to receive positive partner reactions when they share these fantasies, they have the least positive experiences when it comes to acting on them.
So what explains these results? The fact that non-heterosexual men were the most likely to have group sex makes sense when you consider that men, on average, are more likely to report group sex fantasies and to have these fantasies often. If men are just more into the idea of group sex, then it stands to reason that it’s probably easier to find willing partners if you’re just looking for men.
As for why heterosexual women were the least likely to enjoy group sex experiences, I suspect part of it is due to the fact that, among heterosexual men and women, there are differences in the desired gender ratio when it comes to threesomes (the most popular form of group sex): I found that women were more open to MMF (two males and one female) scenarios than men, whereas men were more open to FFM (two females and one male) scenarios than women. Also, heterosexual men and women want to be the center of attention in a threesome.
What this tells us is that heterosexual men and women seem to have very different ideas in mind for how group sex should go—and because we live in a culture that, unfortunately, continues to prioritize male pleasure over female pleasure, I suspect that heterosexual women aren’t enjoying threesomes and group sex quite as much as straight men, because they aren’t as likely to be having the kinds of group encounters they really want.
Facebook image: goodluz/Shutterstock
Lehmiller, J. J. (2018). Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Da Capo Lifelong Books.
Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D. , is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Yeah it seems like its commonly one or the other, either you're not comfortable with people you see in other social contexts or your only comfortable people you see in other social contexts.
I am more comfortable with people i know, or at least have a connection to through friends, as there are more liberal or no ground rules, don't always have to use protection etc. Creampie, is that your experience as well when having encounters with people you know?
I think you should know the people. Having them in your social circle is a plus. But there are downsides to it. I'm willing to have sex with most of my guy friends. I take a more casual view of sex and almost view it as shaking hands. I wouldn't be close friends with a guy unless I was willing to fuck him. I need to know, I can go over to his house, take my clothes off, and get takin care of. Same with girls. I'm only close friends with girls if I'm willing to put my tongue in them.
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We have a small group of long time friends we play with at times. We've known each other for years and we feel safe with each oth
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