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Published February 20, 2015 12:00AM (EST)

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The recent pimping trial against Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been filled with lurid details about forced anal, rough sex and hired women, whom the former International Monetary Fund chief reportedly referred to as "equipment." One woman infamously described the scene at these parties as "carnage with mattresses piled on the floor."
This follows on the heels of a federal lawsuit alleging that New York financier Jeffrey Epstein instructed an underage girl to have sex with Prince Andrew on three occasions, including during an alleged underage sex party on Epstein's private Caribbean island. This case too has salacious details about hidden cameras, sex tapes of powerful men and a private jet nicknamed the "Lolita Express" by locals.
These cases, filled with allegations of coercion and force, do not exactly give sex parties a good name. I had to wonder: How representative are they of the bacchanalia of rich and famous men? I spoke with Katherine Frank, a cultural anthropologist at American University and author of "Plays Well in Groups: A Journey Through the World of Group Sex," about Mötley Crüe orgies and erotic bashes in the Hamptons -- but also flyover state swingers and how the world of group sex can serve to give average people a taste of fame.
How do the allegations of what took place at DSK's events compare to the broader sex party scene?
As for the allegation of rough sex, when you've got lifestyle couples and men are with other men's wives, the sex is going to be really respectful. That's an important element of it: You have the spouses looking out for each other. In a situation like this, it sounds like the women were not necessarily connected to the men there, so if there was rough sex, or boundaries being crossed, they didn't have anyone to stand up for them there.
In response to DSK's claim that he went to 12 parties in three years, people were acting like that was so many, but really it's just a niche world. You could, if you were dialed into it, go to a sex party every weekend. Not everyone does, but if that's your form of recreation, it's just looked at really differently. Some of his comments were really interesting in that way. He was really talking about it in terms of recreation and play, just like lifestylers would.
There's all this judgment in the media about the lifestyle being all about casual sex -- that if someone did go to a party every weekend that would mean they were highly promiscuous. But there's so much more than sex going on and your partners might be the same couple, you might only sleep with one couple for a year. Whenever it comes out in terms of a scandal, the focus stays on the scandalous and it's hard then to talk about all these other things that get wrapped up into the sex partying.
How common is prostitution at the sex parties of the rich and famous?
The one thing that was striking to me was that DSK kept defending himself as a swinger. In lifestyle or swingers parties, prostitution happens, but it's going to be pretty rare; people really look down on it. In terms of the wealthy or famous guys, there are so many groupies that are willing to sleep with them for free, too. You could very easily be at a party where none of the women were being paid. On the other hand, I have heard stories of men arranging -- just like the guys said they did for DSK -- a bunch of escorts to have sex or go on a trip for the weekend. Anywhere I've been with wealthy, powerful men, there are women who want to sleep with them.
Sex is also a form of recreation that people engage in in all social classes, but certainly having the wealth and the privacy makes it even more accessible if that's your thing. DSK had a private apartment to have his parties in. Would every guy do that if they had the money to do that?
That was a question I wanted to ask you. We hear about rich, powerful men and group sex a lot -- is that a mere function of the access that they have or is there something about being rich and powerful that draws them to such things?
I think it's a great question. One of the things I would say is for men who pursue the lifestyle or swinging in the U.S., that's sort of the way to have the life of someone who is rich and famous without having to be rich or famous. Some of the parties are really designed to be the rock-star experience. They'll have a red carpet, they'll have the VIP line. The themes of the parties will have people dress like movie stars or really elaborate outfits, things you could never wear in your regular life. By having these weekends, not only can they go away and have a little bit of luxury and sleep with four or five women, but they can also have this rock-star experience that other people only hear about through these scandals.
The recent Jeffrey Epstein case allegedly involved "sex parties" -- scare quotes, because according to the allegations they sound more like "rape parties" -- with underage girls. Have you heard about underage "sex parties" like this?
How do the sex parties of the rich and famous differ from those of us, you know, commoners?
A lot of people who are into sex parties are concerned about their privacy. You can't even say that the famous guys are more concerned about their privacy and have more to lose, because a lot of people have something to lose, because it's a pretty stigmatized thing to do still. That said, if you go to a lifestyle party or smaller town maybe somebody will be taking pictures and trying to expose you but probably not. Whereas Prince Harry, when he was partying in Vegas, people snapped pictures and spread them around. I wrote a little bit in the book about Sir Ivan's castle, where I've been a number of times. He has a castle in the Hamptons where there are erotic parties and he has a no-cellphone rule that is really strictly enforced.
Are there differences in the sex parties of, say, rock stars compared to politicians? Or, when it comes to group sex, is everyone sort of in it for the same thing?
The texture of parties are going to differ whether it's a group of ravers after a whole night of doing drugs and dancing, or a group of parents in Ohio who want to get home by midnight. No sex party is ever all about sex. It's also about how you like to socialize and the music you like and are you a drinker or are you doing E? Probably there are some rich and famous sex parties that are like the swingers in Ohio getting home early and some that are more crazy and they're up all night like Mötley Crüe trashing the room and doing cocaine.
If you're high-profile, you may have less of a choice. You can't go to Vegas and say, "I want to go to the lifestyle convention this weekend and wear silver booty shorts and run around the pool at the Hard Rock." Lifestylers meet each other on websites or at parties. There's a party almost every weekend in a big city. People who are higher profile don't have that luxury. You can't just go to a party and try to meet sex partners there.
I remember being at parties before where people were talking and saying, "Maybe our life is better than the rich and famous, just because of the freedom." No one knows who you are. There are a lot of people in military and government, jobs that are pretty powerful but where they're not necessarily recognized by everyone and they can move around those worlds easier than someone whose picture has been all over.
Copyright © 2022 Salon.com, LLC. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. SALON ® is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon.com, LLC. Associated Press articles: Copyright © 2016 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Beyond " happy endings ," here are other sex terms that have been mentioned on Bravo shows that may need more explanation.
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Vicki Gunvalson may be on the outskirts of The Real Housewives of Orange County crew this season, but she is at the forefront of the Kelly Dodd "train" rumor. (See for yourself in the clip above.) The rumor leads to much discussion among the ladies, and a realization that not everyone knows exactly what the term means.
Personal Space spoke to two sex experts to find out the differences between terms we've heard on Bravo shows over the years, and why it is so important not to cause shame for others' sexual experiences and choices.
Licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist Dr. Shannon Chavez is a Los Angeles-based expert who works with clients to address sexual concerns and build sexual awareness through therapy, coaching, and education.
When it comes to experimenting with sexual desires, Dr. Chavez explains, "We are naturally curious sexual beings and wired to try new things," and it’s important not to spread what friends share with you because "gossiping leads to stereotypes" and "judgments around sexuality can cause shame."
Dr. Chavez notes, "Exploring different types of intimacy and experimenting with other consensual adults" should be viewed as a positive thing, not a negative, because it "can provide personal growth and sexual empowerment."
According to Dr. Chavez, it’s important to learn different sexual terms because it’s a big part of “sex education” and so that you can "know what someone’s talking about— especially a partner." Another bonus is that knowledge is power — it can "reduce sexual shame and increase sexual confidence."
Dr. Chavez explains that there “are plenty of ways to learn more about sex and become familiar with terms.” Here’s a head start:
Dr. Chavez explains that a sex train (also known as a train bang) is "one person having sex with a group of people at the same time" — usually one person being the focus and others taking turns. This particular term can be used for “consensual or non-consensual sexual activity.” One reason that this particular sex act can be a detrimental rumor is because "it has been used in media and porn as a portrayal of rape" where a "line of men take turns having sex with a woman." It's especially not something a mother of a teen would want associated with her name.
A sex train is very different from an orgy, which Dr. Chavez explains is a "group sex activity with more than five people" and "many people engaging in sexual activities at the same time.” A threesome is "sex with three people" and "is a common sexual fantasy" that is often a "bucket list activity" for couples.
Daniel Saynt , founder of NSFW , recently launched the PRo SEX Initiative which is focused on creating a safe, judgement-free community for sexual exploration. The organization is also working to change the law to prevent discrimination at work and housing for those who enjoy "not vanilla" sex lives.
Saynt explains that “someone else's sex life shouldn't be the point of your conversations” and “if you're going to discuss sex, know what you're talking about.” He also explains a few other terms that have been discussed on air.
Eskimo brothers is a term that has come up on WWHL in the past ( with Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper ), and more recently on the latest season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . Saynt explains that this term refers to men or women who've had sex with the same partner at different points in time, so Denise Richards and Lisa Rinna discovered that their husbands were Eskimo Brothers because they were both previously married to Nicollette Sheridan . The same term can be used when women have had sex with the same man as well — Stassi, Brittany, and Kristen on Vanderpump Rules are all Eskimo Sisters, thanks to Jax Taylor.
In Season 4 of Vanderpump Rules , James Kennedy accused Lala Kent of giving her ex boyfriend a "rim job" ... so what is it? Saynt explains that it’s known as "analingus" and refers to stimulating the anus with your mouth or tongue — "your nerve endings meet at your anus, creating a tight wound knot of pleasure sensors.”
Before Kandi Burruss had her Welcome to the Dungeon burlesque show, there was a rumor that she had a sex dungeon in her basement . Saynt explains that "a sex dungeon can take on many shapes, but most are designed for BDSM play (Bondage, Domination, Sadist, Masochist)." The actual dungeon part "may have tables or areas designed for restraint and impact toys, ropes, or others devices for sexual pleasure."
Knowing the terminology for sex is important, but it's also important not to speculate about what others may be up to in the bedroom. Saynt notes that “propelling rumors, spreading gossip, or weaponizing female sexuality against other women are all forms of toxic femininity” — all of which should be eradicated.
Plus, being sexually adventurous has its perks. Saynt explains that "having a healthy and engaging sex life leads to a decrease in depression, stress, and anxiety."
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In a tragic case illustrating the sinister effects of online porn, a 16-year-old girl’s bowel was so badly injured during group anal sex that she needs to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.
The teen reportedly suffered the life-changing injury while copying scenes seen in violent porn, according to an Australian Broadcasting Company News investigation .
But, sadly, Australia’s national broadcaster was told that the girl’s horrific experience was just one in a string of serious injuries to result from porn-addicted Australians trying to imitate aggressive sex they’ve watched online.
Australia GP and former Royal Australian College of General Practitioners president Dr. Bastian Seidel told the ABC he has seen first-hand how copying behavior seen on porn videos can go dangerously wrong.
“We have seen anal fissures more and more. I’ve seen that more in women, so that’s caused by men having anal sex with women,” he said.
The ABC’s hard-hitting investigation also revealed the hor
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